Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.
-- Bern Williams

You said it. Of all the things in the world you said you’d never say to your children, you went and said it. You felt it moving through your bloodstream, flow to your brain, then drip right down to your tongue. You felt your lips forming themselves to speak the words you had been trying desperately to never say, and before you could stop your hands from joining your hips, the words were out – “There are children in China who are starving. You better eat that!”So many of the words our mothers said to us are floating around in our homes, whirling about as reminders and reprimands, and personalized with our own neo-flavor. When we were young we hated the “mama-speak,” thought it was dumb, swore we’d never say that stuff to our kids, and even formulated what we believed to be more intelligent refrains to offer our children. Instead, “I’m sick and tired of telling you...” has been reincarnated in our mouths and our kids are probably saying to themselves, “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I’ll never say that to my kids!”

“Don’t let the street lights catch you” came out of your mouth last week. “I hope when you have kids...” surfaced a few days ago, and when you walked passed your kid’s room this morning, you compared it to a pig sty, no doubt the same one your mom often referred to. And even though you know it to be scientifically untrue, you told your kids that sitting too close to the television and reading in the dark would make them blind. Once you winced through every exhortation you said then laughed silently at yourself, you felt satisfied you’d said the right thing and your point was made. You have become an official card-carrying member of the “mama-speak” club.

So you know “mama-speak” wasn’t all that bad. Actually, it was pretty darn good stuff. It quieted the situation, and while most of us were a bit naïve and impressionable in those days, stories about lie bumps on our tongue, going to see turtles drink water (in response to “where’re you going?”), and walking to school uphill, both ways, in the snow, worked. Nowadays, we have to tell the truth, explain, and rationalize “mama-speak.” We’ve so encouraged our kids to be curious and ask questions, a simple “because I said so” can turn into a full blown conversation about your age, experience, and any other qualifier of the statement. Back when we were young, all mama’d have to do was say it and give that look. Makes you wonder if we only inherited the words and not the power that backs up “mama-speak.” Or, maybe we should stop explaining and rationalizing.

When mama’s all over the world warned “you’re going to remember I said that,” they knew what they were speaking. And so do we as we repeat that which will forever be on the minds and tongues of our children and their children. And chances are as you quote your mama’s “mama-speak,” you’re speaking everything your foremothers spoke as well.

Sadiqqa © 2007