Give a damn.
-- Alice Walker
Give a damn.
Give a damn about children who are poorly educated for they miss out on life-long affirming choices granted only to those who’ve had access to innovative instructional programs, bright and inspiring teachers, and a myriad of social and cultural opportunities. Give a damn about people who cannot read, who cannot decode words because their phonological and whole language skills were not developed, and who, thus, have difficulty getting and maintaining gainful employment, adequate healthcare, and respect from society. Give a damn that the least educated have higher rates of poverty, poorer health and social well-being, and lower economic stability. Give a damn that you will have to care for them.
Give a damn that each day a child is abused physically, emotionally, sexually, and/or through neglect and that they are powerless to break from of their abuse. Give a damn that tons of women and men are abused and abandoned, that each day they suffer physical and emotional horrors in their homes, and many don’t have the wherewithal to remove themselves from their conditions. Give a damn that HIV and AIDS is growing at phenomenal rates in many communities the world over; in the US alone, the CDC estimates that each year, approximately 40,000 people become infected with HIV, this number not reflecting the countless others who have no idea they are infected. Give a damn that ministers don’t preach about abuse, sex, or the prevention strategies what we need to hear about, frightened and threatened by such taboo subjects, opting instead to contain their surface and packaged messages to prosperity gospels and bringing in the biggest financial offerings.
Give a damn about dilapidated communities full of clap-board houses in need of repair. Give a damn that mortgage interest rates are rising again, leaving those of us who didn’t get a house during the nation’s economic boom and subsequent interest rate lowering further away from our dream of homeownership. Give a damn that some of us who got a lower interest rate during that time were serviced by predatory lenders and are now in jeopardy of losing our homes.
Give a damn that African Americans don’t spend their hard earned money with Black merchants. Give a damn that Black merchants don’t sell all the items that a family may need.
Give a damn that the rhetoric over illegal immigration sounds very much like that used against African Americans prior to the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Give a damn that bashing anyone who isn’t American-born is a free-for-all. Give a damn that America calling itself a melting pot or salad bowl is the biggest lie ever told.
Give a damn that the ozone layer is real and depleting and that the air quality keeps you from enjoying God’s earth. Give a damn that 7 astronauts are up in space, waiting for one of 5 days to return to earth. Give a damn that many of us have no idea why they were up there in the first place. Give a damn that it was not to plug the ozone layer.
Just give a damn.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 22, 2007
Jun 21, 2007
You need to get up in the morning and say, “Boy, I’m going to, in my own stupid way, save the world today.”
-- Carol Bellamy
Just down the street from you there is boy who has the most awesome throwing arm and he can hit a ball with as much precision and passion as McGwire and Sosa. He’d really make a great baseball player. The trouble is he can’t seem to get his hands on any good equipment and he has nowhere to play in the neighborhood. Also, his boys only want to play basketball and touch football and tell him his chances of playing baseball are slim to none. Today, so that he can possibly follow that “slim to none” chance, he needs your help in acquiring a good baseball bat and glove. He also needs you to get on the phone with other people in the neighborhood so that a playing field can be created for him and his friends to play in. Today, he needs you. Hope you got up this morning ready to make a difference.
The new lady at your job, the colorful woman that just joined your team, always seems like she’s in another world, and typically people treat her like she’s out of this world. But you simply see a woman who is a little eccentric and has a right to express her idiosyncrasies as she sees fit. Subsequently, she appreciates your acceptance but needs you to go a step further and help others not “get” her, but let her be. She needs you to interrupt the conversations about her unconventional thinking and behavior and redirect them to her capabilities so that the team can get its job done. Today, this woman who makes no excuses for being an oddball, needs you to speak up on her behalf. Hope you got up this morning ready to meet this challenge.
When you got out of bed this morning, your mind may not have been on saving the world. That’s such a monumental task and, of course, you’re not Jesus. But just think, if you help one person, that person can help someone else. If you got that kid some equipment and a place to play, he may become so great that he gets a scholarship to play college baseball. While playing college ball, he so impresses the scouts that he gets a major league deal, and while playing professional baseball, he gives so much time and money back to the kids in your neighborhood, the neighborhood not only has its own team of potential baseball players and coaches, it is the safest and healthiest community to live in. Imagine that! By helping one, you’ve contributed to saving the world.
Think about it like this – driving home during rush hour, you let someone cut in front of you. Thankful, that person then feels generous enough to let somebody cut in front of them, and then that somebody lets somebody else cut in them until finally everybody is on the same road to home. No road rage, no frustration. You have done something to save the world.
It’s the little ways that save the world. If you didn’t get out of bed ready to do your part today, hopefully now you’re ready.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Carol Bellamy
Just down the street from you there is boy who has the most awesome throwing arm and he can hit a ball with as much precision and passion as McGwire and Sosa. He’d really make a great baseball player. The trouble is he can’t seem to get his hands on any good equipment and he has nowhere to play in the neighborhood. Also, his boys only want to play basketball and touch football and tell him his chances of playing baseball are slim to none. Today, so that he can possibly follow that “slim to none” chance, he needs your help in acquiring a good baseball bat and glove. He also needs you to get on the phone with other people in the neighborhood so that a playing field can be created for him and his friends to play in. Today, he needs you. Hope you got up this morning ready to make a difference.
The new lady at your job, the colorful woman that just joined your team, always seems like she’s in another world, and typically people treat her like she’s out of this world. But you simply see a woman who is a little eccentric and has a right to express her idiosyncrasies as she sees fit. Subsequently, she appreciates your acceptance but needs you to go a step further and help others not “get” her, but let her be. She needs you to interrupt the conversations about her unconventional thinking and behavior and redirect them to her capabilities so that the team can get its job done. Today, this woman who makes no excuses for being an oddball, needs you to speak up on her behalf. Hope you got up this morning ready to meet this challenge.
When you got out of bed this morning, your mind may not have been on saving the world. That’s such a monumental task and, of course, you’re not Jesus. But just think, if you help one person, that person can help someone else. If you got that kid some equipment and a place to play, he may become so great that he gets a scholarship to play college baseball. While playing college ball, he so impresses the scouts that he gets a major league deal, and while playing professional baseball, he gives so much time and money back to the kids in your neighborhood, the neighborhood not only has its own team of potential baseball players and coaches, it is the safest and healthiest community to live in. Imagine that! By helping one, you’ve contributed to saving the world.
Think about it like this – driving home during rush hour, you let someone cut in front of you. Thankful, that person then feels generous enough to let somebody cut in front of them, and then that somebody lets somebody else cut in them until finally everybody is on the same road to home. No road rage, no frustration. You have done something to save the world.
It’s the little ways that save the world. If you didn’t get out of bed ready to do your part today, hopefully now you’re ready.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 20, 2007
I will not be satisfied anymore with living my life simply for myself. Other issues are much broader than my own little world.
-- Anita Hill
Imagine living in a country ignited for years in civil war, a country like Somalia. You leave home each day praying to make your destination in one piece, studying or working as hard as you can amid the gunfire you hear around you, praying this is not the day one of those shots will end your life but knowing you’re a target just as the other 1,000,000 Somalis who have died because of the decades long conflict were targets. Imagine that you fled the unstable country, making a two-year trek through Kenya, Ethiopia, Sudan, Niger and Libya then reaching and sailing in a small rickety boat with 20 other men, women, and children escapees, floating to any land away from your homeland. Then, imagine making land only to be held in a prison of camp until your asylum status was confirmed. Imagine then starting a new life with nothing but your shell-shocked life in a place whose language is not yours, whose customs are as foreign to you as peace for you is foreign, and the natives pity, shun, and treat you differently for not being like them.
Imagine being a woman living in war-torn Darfur. Imagine needing firewood to keep your family warm but being afraid to send your husband for fear that he will be killed if he leaves the camp. You go instead. Imagine that as you reach for the last block of wood, you are grabbed from behind, a gun pinned to the temple of your head, a grungy voice threatening you not to make a sound. Imagine being abducted, taken away from those you’ve lived to protect, and sexually assaulted because you would not tell the government-funded Janjawid militiaman where your husband was. Imagine that after your assault, because of the stigma, shame, and ostracization your townspeople would place upon you because of it, you live in silence, a silence potentially ridden with disease and unwanted pregnancy. Imagine that though these inhumane acts happen daily and have the attention of international media, you are still raped and tortured as the Sudanese government continues to use you as a pawn in its fight for economic, political, and social domination.
Imagine being one of 24 little boys in a poorly-run Iraqi orphanage. You had food, but that was a month ago. You were able to walk around, but that was months ago. You had parents, but that was a year ago. Now all you have is a dwindling hope that you will live but a frightening idea that you will die. Imagine being discovered by strange men in brown fatigues, being lifted by one, and feeling a tear from his eyes fall on your emaciated body. You smile because his body and that tear are the only human touch you have received since your country was invaded and your parents were taken from you. Imagine someone cleaning and clothing your delicate and wounded body, feeding you what your starving body can hold, and then placing you carefully in a fresh, clean bed. Imagine being grateful for this care, thankful that Allah would deliver you from your previous state of neglect. But, imagine you’re still an orphan.
Sort of makes your issues manageable, huh?
With all that is happening in the world around us, you know there is no way you can live your life just for yourself. You know that the hardships that occur in the world need your attention and will not go away just because you don’t pay them attention.
You also know that just next door, not even on another continent, a family is suffering through domestic violence; your community is plagued by young people’s persistent disrespect and violence; our country is sending men and women to a foreign country to fight a foreign and confusing war; and the ozone layer is depleting. Knowing this, can you simply provide for your own comforts and needs?
We have a responsibility to one another, the responsibility to protect and care for one another. Find out from Amnesty International what you can do to help the women and girls in Darfur. Learn from immigration services where you can go to help refugee families living in your own community. Consider adopting one of the children left with no one in Iraq and other parts of the world, calling the US Department of State to learn about the process. Get involved in alleviating the problems found in your own community. You aren’t and cannot be expected to solve all the ills of the world, but you are expected to do something to bring about peace and resolution. Despite what you can touch each day, you are your brother’s keeper.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Anita Hill
Imagine living in a country ignited for years in civil war, a country like Somalia. You leave home each day praying to make your destination in one piece, studying or working as hard as you can amid the gunfire you hear around you, praying this is not the day one of those shots will end your life but knowing you’re a target just as the other 1,000,000 Somalis who have died because of the decades long conflict were targets. Imagine that you fled the unstable country, making a two-year trek through Kenya, Ethiopia, Sudan, Niger and Libya then reaching and sailing in a small rickety boat with 20 other men, women, and children escapees, floating to any land away from your homeland. Then, imagine making land only to be held in a prison of camp until your asylum status was confirmed. Imagine then starting a new life with nothing but your shell-shocked life in a place whose language is not yours, whose customs are as foreign to you as peace for you is foreign, and the natives pity, shun, and treat you differently for not being like them.
Imagine being a woman living in war-torn Darfur. Imagine needing firewood to keep your family warm but being afraid to send your husband for fear that he will be killed if he leaves the camp. You go instead. Imagine that as you reach for the last block of wood, you are grabbed from behind, a gun pinned to the temple of your head, a grungy voice threatening you not to make a sound. Imagine being abducted, taken away from those you’ve lived to protect, and sexually assaulted because you would not tell the government-funded Janjawid militiaman where your husband was. Imagine that after your assault, because of the stigma, shame, and ostracization your townspeople would place upon you because of it, you live in silence, a silence potentially ridden with disease and unwanted pregnancy. Imagine that though these inhumane acts happen daily and have the attention of international media, you are still raped and tortured as the Sudanese government continues to use you as a pawn in its fight for economic, political, and social domination.
Imagine being one of 24 little boys in a poorly-run Iraqi orphanage. You had food, but that was a month ago. You were able to walk around, but that was months ago. You had parents, but that was a year ago. Now all you have is a dwindling hope that you will live but a frightening idea that you will die. Imagine being discovered by strange men in brown fatigues, being lifted by one, and feeling a tear from his eyes fall on your emaciated body. You smile because his body and that tear are the only human touch you have received since your country was invaded and your parents were taken from you. Imagine someone cleaning and clothing your delicate and wounded body, feeding you what your starving body can hold, and then placing you carefully in a fresh, clean bed. Imagine being grateful for this care, thankful that Allah would deliver you from your previous state of neglect. But, imagine you’re still an orphan.
Sort of makes your issues manageable, huh?
With all that is happening in the world around us, you know there is no way you can live your life just for yourself. You know that the hardships that occur in the world need your attention and will not go away just because you don’t pay them attention.
You also know that just next door, not even on another continent, a family is suffering through domestic violence; your community is plagued by young people’s persistent disrespect and violence; our country is sending men and women to a foreign country to fight a foreign and confusing war; and the ozone layer is depleting. Knowing this, can you simply provide for your own comforts and needs?
We have a responsibility to one another, the responsibility to protect and care for one another. Find out from Amnesty International what you can do to help the women and girls in Darfur. Learn from immigration services where you can go to help refugee families living in your own community. Consider adopting one of the children left with no one in Iraq and other parts of the world, calling the US Department of State to learn about the process. Get involved in alleviating the problems found in your own community. You aren’t and cannot be expected to solve all the ills of the world, but you are expected to do something to bring about peace and resolution. Despite what you can touch each day, you are your brother’s keeper.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 19, 2007
... we’ve arrived, but where to?
-- Margaret Hodges‑Rush
We have overcome several times. Little black children and little white children walk hand‑in‑hand, read from the same textbooks, and live side-by-side in suburbia. We all drink from the same water fountains, use the same public restrooms, and if there are still any true lunch counters left, not only do African Americans work them, many of us own them. Integration is the standard of life, a given, rather than the special status. Yes, we have arrived.
But where did we really come to, and what did we actually get when we got where we thought we wanted to be?
Did we come to a place where we’ve wholeheartedly and hands-down accepted that to be successful we have to look, think, and be like the power-hungry, greedy, competitive architects of a consumeristic society? Did we have to give up what was rich and unique about our black selves in order to make a niche that could sustain our living? Have we enthusiastically joined the American think tank that regularly ignores simplicity, integrity and morality, commonsensical public policy, environmental and financial stewardship, and cooperation among all peoples? Carter G. Woodson said, “If you can control a man’s thinking, you don’t have to worry about his actions.” Have we so bought and assimilated into the capitalist way of thinking that our voice has twisted into the common voice of America, and when we try to engage America about its ills against us, it sounds more like mere complaint or glorified and self-serving speech-making from the masses than real protest from disillusioned and traumatized people?
Did we come to the place where it’s blasé to spend millions of dollars on Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, Sean Jean, and Apple Bottoms, instead of successfully and intelligently educating black children and creating lucrative employment for black people? According to Target Market, a company that tracks African-American marketing, media and consumer behavior, in 2004, black people spent approximately $22 billion on apparel and only $6 billion on education. Moreover, we spent 53 billion in food. Did any of that come from the seeds we harvested and planted in our own backyards growing vegetables and fruits then selling and trading them with our neighbors? Or, when we got where we thought we wanted to be, did we forget all about cooperative gardening, farming, and learning how to fish for ourselves?
When we got where we thought we wanted to be, was it the place that was okay to create music and lyrics that perpetually denigrates women, disrespects love and relationships, and lionizes violence, self-indulgence, and sexual extravagance?
When we got where we thought we wanted to be, was it the place that made us forget about our personal and moral responsibility to lift ourselves AND each and every member of the African American community? Has our arrival in a motorcade of tinted-windowed, 20” chrome-rimmed, spoiler on the back Mercedes’ made it easy to ride past public housing sites and dilapidated neighborhoods, see our cousins idly sitting on the porches, and turn up our noses, chiding that they will never get anywhere? How did we arrive comfortably at “every man for himself,” when prior to 1960 we were our “brother’s keepers” and lauded interdependence and communalism as the only ways to move forward?
Did we get to a level playing field, a real piece of the pie? Or did we simply forget who we were before we arrived?
Maybe we should take a hard look at where we arrived and redesign the directions for the new/next take off. Maybe we should get off at the next exit.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Margaret Hodges‑Rush
We have overcome several times. Little black children and little white children walk hand‑in‑hand, read from the same textbooks, and live side-by-side in suburbia. We all drink from the same water fountains, use the same public restrooms, and if there are still any true lunch counters left, not only do African Americans work them, many of us own them. Integration is the standard of life, a given, rather than the special status. Yes, we have arrived.
But where did we really come to, and what did we actually get when we got where we thought we wanted to be?
Did we come to a place where we’ve wholeheartedly and hands-down accepted that to be successful we have to look, think, and be like the power-hungry, greedy, competitive architects of a consumeristic society? Did we have to give up what was rich and unique about our black selves in order to make a niche that could sustain our living? Have we enthusiastically joined the American think tank that regularly ignores simplicity, integrity and morality, commonsensical public policy, environmental and financial stewardship, and cooperation among all peoples? Carter G. Woodson said, “If you can control a man’s thinking, you don’t have to worry about his actions.” Have we so bought and assimilated into the capitalist way of thinking that our voice has twisted into the common voice of America, and when we try to engage America about its ills against us, it sounds more like mere complaint or glorified and self-serving speech-making from the masses than real protest from disillusioned and traumatized people?
Did we come to the place where it’s blasé to spend millions of dollars on Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, Sean Jean, and Apple Bottoms, instead of successfully and intelligently educating black children and creating lucrative employment for black people? According to Target Market, a company that tracks African-American marketing, media and consumer behavior, in 2004, black people spent approximately $22 billion on apparel and only $6 billion on education. Moreover, we spent 53 billion in food. Did any of that come from the seeds we harvested and planted in our own backyards growing vegetables and fruits then selling and trading them with our neighbors? Or, when we got where we thought we wanted to be, did we forget all about cooperative gardening, farming, and learning how to fish for ourselves?
When we got where we thought we wanted to be, was it the place that was okay to create music and lyrics that perpetually denigrates women, disrespects love and relationships, and lionizes violence, self-indulgence, and sexual extravagance?
When we got where we thought we wanted to be, was it the place that made us forget about our personal and moral responsibility to lift ourselves AND each and every member of the African American community? Has our arrival in a motorcade of tinted-windowed, 20” chrome-rimmed, spoiler on the back Mercedes’ made it easy to ride past public housing sites and dilapidated neighborhoods, see our cousins idly sitting on the porches, and turn up our noses, chiding that they will never get anywhere? How did we arrive comfortably at “every man for himself,” when prior to 1960 we were our “brother’s keepers” and lauded interdependence and communalism as the only ways to move forward?
Did we get to a level playing field, a real piece of the pie? Or did we simply forget who we were before we arrived?
Maybe we should take a hard look at where we arrived and redesign the directions for the new/next take off. Maybe we should get off at the next exit.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 18, 2007
This week is devoted to the you that needs to be empowered to move forward.
-- Oprah
That’s right folks, this is that week, the week that’s been set aside for you to do all the things you must do to stay on top of your game of life. This is the week that is designed for you to review and renew your very best and make it better. This week right here is the week that you must recommit to your Self so that each and every part of you will feel better and shine brighter. This is that week that’s dedicated to that great effort.
This week, reinvigorate your exercise regime. You’ve done great so far, your goal of reshaping that gluteus maximus is going well. This week, step it up and make it better. Find a long, medium-grade hill and walk up it as fast as you can, then slowly walk back down. Repeat 10 times. Also, add cross-training – swimming, yoga, aerobics, rock-climbing, etc. – to your regime so that you can better strengthen and tone your upper body. And, by the end of the week, increase the intensity of your strength-training routine by changing up the exercises and focusing on more muscle groups. Your biceps and triceps are in great shape; what about those abs?
This week, have another look at what you’re eating. You are eating more fresh fruits and vegetables; are you also eating less sodium (processed foods, salty snacks, and fast food) and white bread? Are you drinking more water, orange juice, and low-fat milk, and limiting your caffeine intake and alcohol consumption? If you’ve stayed on track, good for you. Keep it up. If you need to start over, this is the week for it.
This week, begin to learn that thing you said you’d learn. Take the class that will teach you how to best use the power drill and circular saw you got for Christmas. The beads and wire in your craft drawer are still just beads and wire. Weren’t you planning to make earrings and necklaces? Your goal in January was to learn more about West Africa, the home of your ancestors, from its early civilizations to colonization and post-colonial political, economic, and social conditions. Your plan was to also learn how to prepare the best lobster risotto and distinguish between Pinot Noir and Merlot wines, and rosé and dessert wines. And didn’t you want to learn how to play the acoustic guitar you inherited 4 years ago from your uncle? This is the week to do all that.
This week is the week to do all the things you said you needed to do to keep your head up, some light in your life, and excitement in your britches. Sorry it took so long to get to this week, but finally, here you are. So get started. This is the week for you to start.
Or, was last week the week?
You didn’t put it off until this week, did you?
Are you a week – or so – behind?
But, if you wait until next week, you may be too far behind.
Don’t wait any longer. Go.
Now!
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Oprah
That’s right folks, this is that week, the week that’s been set aside for you to do all the things you must do to stay on top of your game of life. This is the week that is designed for you to review and renew your very best and make it better. This week right here is the week that you must recommit to your Self so that each and every part of you will feel better and shine brighter. This is that week that’s dedicated to that great effort.
This week, reinvigorate your exercise regime. You’ve done great so far, your goal of reshaping that gluteus maximus is going well. This week, step it up and make it better. Find a long, medium-grade hill and walk up it as fast as you can, then slowly walk back down. Repeat 10 times. Also, add cross-training – swimming, yoga, aerobics, rock-climbing, etc. – to your regime so that you can better strengthen and tone your upper body. And, by the end of the week, increase the intensity of your strength-training routine by changing up the exercises and focusing on more muscle groups. Your biceps and triceps are in great shape; what about those abs?
This week, have another look at what you’re eating. You are eating more fresh fruits and vegetables; are you also eating less sodium (processed foods, salty snacks, and fast food) and white bread? Are you drinking more water, orange juice, and low-fat milk, and limiting your caffeine intake and alcohol consumption? If you’ve stayed on track, good for you. Keep it up. If you need to start over, this is the week for it.
This week, begin to learn that thing you said you’d learn. Take the class that will teach you how to best use the power drill and circular saw you got for Christmas. The beads and wire in your craft drawer are still just beads and wire. Weren’t you planning to make earrings and necklaces? Your goal in January was to learn more about West Africa, the home of your ancestors, from its early civilizations to colonization and post-colonial political, economic, and social conditions. Your plan was to also learn how to prepare the best lobster risotto and distinguish between Pinot Noir and Merlot wines, and rosé and dessert wines. And didn’t you want to learn how to play the acoustic guitar you inherited 4 years ago from your uncle? This is the week to do all that.
This week is the week to do all the things you said you needed to do to keep your head up, some light in your life, and excitement in your britches. Sorry it took so long to get to this week, but finally, here you are. So get started. This is the week for you to start.
Or, was last week the week?
You didn’t put it off until this week, did you?
Are you a week – or so – behind?
But, if you wait until next week, you may be too far behind.
Don’t wait any longer. Go.
Now!
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 15, 2007
It no longer bothers me that I may be constantly searching for father figures; by this time, I have found several and dearly enjoyed knowing them all.
-- Alice Walker
Lots of us did not grow up with our biological fathers. Some of us never had the opportunity to sit with those fathers and learn from them or see ourselves growing into a person who looks like him and has his mannerisms and inflections. There are those of us who never had the chance to really know him and the things that were important to him so that we could decide how those things made us who we are. For some, maybe the years have passed and we no longer care about that absent father.
But in his absence, there appeared many other men who served in some capacity as a father. Perhaps there was Granddaddy who was a constant, the one who kept you and mama stable with steadfast and proven love, comfort, and support. Maybe you had a biological Uncle who took you under his wing and treated you as his own. Or, maybe you had a big brother who let you tag along and protected you when things seemed too big and too much.
Maybe mom remarried or had a special friend and he treated you as though you were his very own offspring, cooing you as a father should and making provisions for you to be where and who you are today. Maybe mom had many special friends and you were able to eke useful nuggets from each of them in which to frame your outlook of life. Perhaps there were men in your church who offered fatherly advice or men in the community – a baseball coach, scout leader, or camp counselor – who provided you with guidance and helped you to recognize and value the contributions men make to the larger community.
Maybe over the years you’ve made friends with older men who offered the tenderness and dependability found in a father. Maybe the older gentlemen you’ve befriended have given you the gumption and courage you need to go forward, reach further than you believed you could, and offered a pat on the back that said more than words could ever say. Maybe your older man-friend is like an old oak tree whose strength and endurance remind you of God, the greatest Father, and His presence in your life.
And perhaps that’s what God intended for He knows each of us intimately and knows what we – us and our biological dads – need. Maybe he knew dad could not be there and placed other dad figures in our life to be what we needed. Maybe it took all of the men we came in contact with to replace the father your biological father could not be. Maybe we got everything we were supposed to have from those who were around.
Sure it’s hurtful that your biological dad didn’t or couldn’t stay. You still have many questions. But The Father never left you alone and gave you representatives of Him to ensure you were as covered as you needed to be. Thank God for men who care and give us what we need in the absence of those who just couldn’t stay.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Alice Walker
Lots of us did not grow up with our biological fathers. Some of us never had the opportunity to sit with those fathers and learn from them or see ourselves growing into a person who looks like him and has his mannerisms and inflections. There are those of us who never had the chance to really know him and the things that were important to him so that we could decide how those things made us who we are. For some, maybe the years have passed and we no longer care about that absent father.
But in his absence, there appeared many other men who served in some capacity as a father. Perhaps there was Granddaddy who was a constant, the one who kept you and mama stable with steadfast and proven love, comfort, and support. Maybe you had a biological Uncle who took you under his wing and treated you as his own. Or, maybe you had a big brother who let you tag along and protected you when things seemed too big and too much.
Maybe mom remarried or had a special friend and he treated you as though you were his very own offspring, cooing you as a father should and making provisions for you to be where and who you are today. Maybe mom had many special friends and you were able to eke useful nuggets from each of them in which to frame your outlook of life. Perhaps there were men in your church who offered fatherly advice or men in the community – a baseball coach, scout leader, or camp counselor – who provided you with guidance and helped you to recognize and value the contributions men make to the larger community.
Maybe over the years you’ve made friends with older men who offered the tenderness and dependability found in a father. Maybe the older gentlemen you’ve befriended have given you the gumption and courage you need to go forward, reach further than you believed you could, and offered a pat on the back that said more than words could ever say. Maybe your older man-friend is like an old oak tree whose strength and endurance remind you of God, the greatest Father, and His presence in your life.
And perhaps that’s what God intended for He knows each of us intimately and knows what we – us and our biological dads – need. Maybe he knew dad could not be there and placed other dad figures in our life to be what we needed. Maybe it took all of the men we came in contact with to replace the father your biological father could not be. Maybe we got everything we were supposed to have from those who were around.
Sure it’s hurtful that your biological dad didn’t or couldn’t stay. You still have many questions. But The Father never left you alone and gave you representatives of Him to ensure you were as covered as you needed to be. Thank God for men who care and give us what we need in the absence of those who just couldn’t stay.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 14, 2007
Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys.
-- Anonymous
I used to believe that because I am every woman, if I ever had a son, I could be for him everything he needed. I knew that I could teach him how to treat both women and men as well as instruct him in perfecting his manly swagger and employing the proper standing posture for urinating. In my years of being a staunch and audacious Feminist who believed men were useful – just not to me – I thought that I would be able to single-handedly make a boy understand what it really meant to be a man.
Thank God for miracles. I have a girl and she restored my faith in men. And I have since sent my bleached and haggard Feminist robe to the tailor’s for a newer fit.
The give and take – mostly give – of being a mother certainly pales any other feat one can undertake. Living a life of a nurturing, protecting, multi-tasking, always-on, disciplinarian is not an easy thing to pull off during your every breathing moment. Making a living so that you and your baby can enjoy living are monumental tasks when you begin to dissect what each of the moments call for. Sacrificing while still smiling and finding joy amid the most mundane events and occurrences are staples of motherhood that are not for the faint of heart.
Yep, everything else pales in the face of motherhood.
Except fatherhood. Motherhood does not pale or replace the role of a good father.
Being a good father means the same as being a good mother – nurturing, protecting, multi-tasking, always-on, disciplinarian. It means making a living, sacrificing, and keeping a contented face in the midst of it all. But as a father, a man brings a special dynamic, a sort of “edge-smoother” to the loose – sometimes frayed – ends that every child has in order that the kid may be and feel covered and whole. A father defines a part of life that is exclusive only to his language and explanation, and in which only a child can understand from him. For a child to hear the same details about life from a mother is like listening to Charlie Brown’s teacher – whamp whamp wahamp whamp whamp!
A father’s perspective of life, the ways he sees the world, how he experiences life, and maneuvers among others in the world, are as germane to how a child perceives him or herself as that child’s own breathing is necessary for living. Where a mother’s yin tells of life to be and come, a father’s yang lays the paths for that life to be experienced. Yin alone cannot complete the story; yang must add the nuances and reverberations that help give the story life.
There is absolutely no way a child, boy or girl, can understand what it means to just BE without the hope, help, and guidance of a father.
While my own father – Jesus, bless his sweet heart – has been blessed (chuckle) with 2 girls, I’m convinced had he the opportunity to father boys, he would have done the same great awesome job with them that he’s done with me and my sister. A good father is a good father for all – girls and boys.
So, from a reformed Feminist, here’s to fathers and men everywhere who make the lives of children possible, positive, practical, and prosperous. God bless you!
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Anonymous
I used to believe that because I am every woman, if I ever had a son, I could be for him everything he needed. I knew that I could teach him how to treat both women and men as well as instruct him in perfecting his manly swagger and employing the proper standing posture for urinating. In my years of being a staunch and audacious Feminist who believed men were useful – just not to me – I thought that I would be able to single-handedly make a boy understand what it really meant to be a man.
Thank God for miracles. I have a girl and she restored my faith in men. And I have since sent my bleached and haggard Feminist robe to the tailor’s for a newer fit.
The give and take – mostly give – of being a mother certainly pales any other feat one can undertake. Living a life of a nurturing, protecting, multi-tasking, always-on, disciplinarian is not an easy thing to pull off during your every breathing moment. Making a living so that you and your baby can enjoy living are monumental tasks when you begin to dissect what each of the moments call for. Sacrificing while still smiling and finding joy amid the most mundane events and occurrences are staples of motherhood that are not for the faint of heart.
Yep, everything else pales in the face of motherhood.
Except fatherhood. Motherhood does not pale or replace the role of a good father.
Being a good father means the same as being a good mother – nurturing, protecting, multi-tasking, always-on, disciplinarian. It means making a living, sacrificing, and keeping a contented face in the midst of it all. But as a father, a man brings a special dynamic, a sort of “edge-smoother” to the loose – sometimes frayed – ends that every child has in order that the kid may be and feel covered and whole. A father defines a part of life that is exclusive only to his language and explanation, and in which only a child can understand from him. For a child to hear the same details about life from a mother is like listening to Charlie Brown’s teacher – whamp whamp wahamp whamp whamp!
A father’s perspective of life, the ways he sees the world, how he experiences life, and maneuvers among others in the world, are as germane to how a child perceives him or herself as that child’s own breathing is necessary for living. Where a mother’s yin tells of life to be and come, a father’s yang lays the paths for that life to be experienced. Yin alone cannot complete the story; yang must add the nuances and reverberations that help give the story life.
There is absolutely no way a child, boy or girl, can understand what it means to just BE without the hope, help, and guidance of a father.
While my own father – Jesus, bless his sweet heart – has been blessed (chuckle) with 2 girls, I’m convinced had he the opportunity to father boys, he would have done the same great awesome job with them that he’s done with me and my sister. A good father is a good father for all – girls and boys.
So, from a reformed Feminist, here’s to fathers and men everywhere who make the lives of children possible, positive, practical, and prosperous. God bless you!
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 13, 2007
Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.
-- Warren Buffett
How much money have you already spent today? How much money do you expect you’ll spend before you leave work today?
Let’s see. You stopped to fill up the gas tank. Geez, $48! You scraped together some change, $1.19 and $.75, for a cup of java and the morning paper, respectively. Mid-morning, you expect to visit the vending machine to deposit $1.25 for peanut butter crackers and a Dr. Pepper to tie you over until you go to lunch with your co-workers. There you’ll pop down about $10.00 for a salad, sandwich, cookie, and another Dr. Pepper. Around 3:00, you expect you’ll visit the vending machine again to get a third Dr. Pepper and popcorn, and maybe a candy bar for the chocolate high; all that’ll total $1.95.
Subtracting the gas – that will probably carry you through to Sunday, you’ve spent about $15.00 today. Multiply that by 5 days at work each week. That’s roughly $75.00! Multiply that by 52 weeks less 4 weeks of vacation. That’s $3,600!! Had you made your coffee at home, taken your own snacks and lunch, and subscribed to the paper or read the recycled one in the break room at the office, you might have been able to follow the rule to never lose money. And please, let’s not talk about the weight you would have kept off!
How much more money are you losing? Do you drive to the other side of town to shop at the grocery store that presumably carries fresher fruit and meats, cutting into your gas that’s supposed to last longer than 3 days? Why not challenge the grocery store down the street from you to carry foods just as fresh? Are you sure to pick up your favorite magazine from the newsstand each month, spending almost $50 each year instead of subscribing to the magazine and spending only $1.60 or so per issue? And paying the surcharges and other fees that are included when you pay your utilities online each month equates to a whole other bill! Why not just send the electric and water companies a check?
And every day, you put down $1.00 to play Lucky 7’s for a chance to win $7,000. But not once in the 3 years that you’ve played have you even recovered the $365 you put down each year. But, here’s to the next time, right?
You find yourself treating money as though it grew on trees. Perhaps for some it does, but they own the whole grove. For others of us, money is precious, hard to come by, and a fleeting thing. So why are we losing it so easily? Why aren’t we more thoughtful in the care of our money?
Think of all the places you could conserve your money. Keep a jar – or Crown Royal® bag – for the spare change. Roll it and deposit it into an interest-bearing savings account. At the end of the year you will have amassed a very pretty penny that you’ll be more than eager never to lose again.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Warren Buffett
How much money have you already spent today? How much money do you expect you’ll spend before you leave work today?
Let’s see. You stopped to fill up the gas tank. Geez, $48! You scraped together some change, $1.19 and $.75, for a cup of java and the morning paper, respectively. Mid-morning, you expect to visit the vending machine to deposit $1.25 for peanut butter crackers and a Dr. Pepper to tie you over until you go to lunch with your co-workers. There you’ll pop down about $10.00 for a salad, sandwich, cookie, and another Dr. Pepper. Around 3:00, you expect you’ll visit the vending machine again to get a third Dr. Pepper and popcorn, and maybe a candy bar for the chocolate high; all that’ll total $1.95.
Subtracting the gas – that will probably carry you through to Sunday, you’ve spent about $15.00 today. Multiply that by 5 days at work each week. That’s roughly $75.00! Multiply that by 52 weeks less 4 weeks of vacation. That’s $3,600!! Had you made your coffee at home, taken your own snacks and lunch, and subscribed to the paper or read the recycled one in the break room at the office, you might have been able to follow the rule to never lose money. And please, let’s not talk about the weight you would have kept off!
How much more money are you losing? Do you drive to the other side of town to shop at the grocery store that presumably carries fresher fruit and meats, cutting into your gas that’s supposed to last longer than 3 days? Why not challenge the grocery store down the street from you to carry foods just as fresh? Are you sure to pick up your favorite magazine from the newsstand each month, spending almost $50 each year instead of subscribing to the magazine and spending only $1.60 or so per issue? And paying the surcharges and other fees that are included when you pay your utilities online each month equates to a whole other bill! Why not just send the electric and water companies a check?
And every day, you put down $1.00 to play Lucky 7’s for a chance to win $7,000. But not once in the 3 years that you’ve played have you even recovered the $365 you put down each year. But, here’s to the next time, right?
You find yourself treating money as though it grew on trees. Perhaps for some it does, but they own the whole grove. For others of us, money is precious, hard to come by, and a fleeting thing. So why are we losing it so easily? Why aren’t we more thoughtful in the care of our money?
Think of all the places you could conserve your money. Keep a jar – or Crown Royal® bag – for the spare change. Roll it and deposit it into an interest-bearing savings account. At the end of the year you will have amassed a very pretty penny that you’ll be more than eager never to lose again.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 12, 2007
You cannot establish security on borrowed money.
-- William J. H. Boetcker
“Sir, I’m sorry, your card has been declined. Perhaps you have another card that will cover the cost of your meal this evening?”
“Ma’am, at this time we’re unable to process your credit card and cannot make your reservation. Please try another hotel.”
“On 00/00/2007, you applied for an XYZ credit card. We are unable to approve your request for the following reasons...”
“Ma’am your card has been declined and the credit card company is recommending that I take the card and hold you here until a representative of the card company gets here to read you your credit card agreement.”
Sound familiar. Hope not. Hopefully each of us is handling our financial business so that we don’t have these kinds of situations to deal with. But for those of us who aren’t, and those of us who could do a little better, please read on.
Most of us have found comfort in using and living on borrowed money. We have a plethora of credit and charge cards, home loans, school loans, personal loans, loans from mom and dad, Uncle Joe, and even from our kids’ piggy banks. But when it’s time to pay them back, when the bills fall due, in walk our problems. We either can’t repay them or don’t want to repay them. Sometimes we borrow more money to pay back the other money; sometimes we file bankruptcy. Sometimes we get lost or leave town altogether. Nonetheless, our debts still exist until they are cleared, and until they are discharged, our financial freedom is not secure.
A National Foundation for Credit Counseling survey of Americans’ budgeting and spending habits recently found that fewer than half of the 1,000 people surveyed had ever ordered their credit reports and nearly a third didn’t know the interest rates on their credit cards. Further, of those surveyed, 40% do not pay the full amount due every month on the credit cards they used most often. The survey found this to be particularly true of younger Americans, African Americans, Latinos, and lower-income Americans.
It is imperative you know what’s in your credit report. A credit report is an account of your payment history and lists your credit accounts, their balances, and your payment activities for each. The report also lists previous addresses and telephone numbers, previous and current employers, and any inquiries creditors and others (including employers) have made into your credit history. Your credit report is usually pretty thick, unless you’ve never had any credit, and though it can be intimidating and cumbersome, order it and review it carefully for mistakes and discrepancies. In these days of identity theft, you can’t take any chances that your credit report is correct; you may find that a boat, motorcycle, and brownstone in the Bronx that were bought in your name and credit, then reposed and foreclosed in your name and credit.
Each year (once every 12 months), you can get free copies of your credit report from the 3 credit reporting agencies, Equifax, TransUnion and Experian, by visiting the website www.AnnualCreditReport.com, by calling (877) 322-8228, or by completing the Annual Credit Report Request Form (available online from http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/include/requestformfinal.pdf) and mailing it to: Annual Credit Report Request Service, P.O. Box 105281, Atlanta, GA 30348-5281.
Today is the day that you find out the interest rates on all your credit obligations. Maybe there’s a way to reduce that interest. Perhaps if you called the card company and asked for a lower rate, you’d get one. Who knows? All you can do is ask.
Today, take serious steps to alleviate the financial burdens your credit cards are placing on you. And, in the words of an exasperated parent, worn from years of bailing a child out of uncontrolled debt,
“If you can’t buy it with cash, you don’t need it. Don’t have any cash? It’s ‘cause you got too much credit.”
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- William J. H. Boetcker
“Sir, I’m sorry, your card has been declined. Perhaps you have another card that will cover the cost of your meal this evening?”
“Ma’am, at this time we’re unable to process your credit card and cannot make your reservation. Please try another hotel.”
“On 00/00/2007, you applied for an XYZ credit card. We are unable to approve your request for the following reasons...”
“Ma’am your card has been declined and the credit card company is recommending that I take the card and hold you here until a representative of the card company gets here to read you your credit card agreement.”
Sound familiar. Hope not. Hopefully each of us is handling our financial business so that we don’t have these kinds of situations to deal with. But for those of us who aren’t, and those of us who could do a little better, please read on.
Most of us have found comfort in using and living on borrowed money. We have a plethora of credit and charge cards, home loans, school loans, personal loans, loans from mom and dad, Uncle Joe, and even from our kids’ piggy banks. But when it’s time to pay them back, when the bills fall due, in walk our problems. We either can’t repay them or don’t want to repay them. Sometimes we borrow more money to pay back the other money; sometimes we file bankruptcy. Sometimes we get lost or leave town altogether. Nonetheless, our debts still exist until they are cleared, and until they are discharged, our financial freedom is not secure.
A National Foundation for Credit Counseling survey of Americans’ budgeting and spending habits recently found that fewer than half of the 1,000 people surveyed had ever ordered their credit reports and nearly a third didn’t know the interest rates on their credit cards. Further, of those surveyed, 40% do not pay the full amount due every month on the credit cards they used most often. The survey found this to be particularly true of younger Americans, African Americans, Latinos, and lower-income Americans.
It is imperative you know what’s in your credit report. A credit report is an account of your payment history and lists your credit accounts, their balances, and your payment activities for each. The report also lists previous addresses and telephone numbers, previous and current employers, and any inquiries creditors and others (including employers) have made into your credit history. Your credit report is usually pretty thick, unless you’ve never had any credit, and though it can be intimidating and cumbersome, order it and review it carefully for mistakes and discrepancies. In these days of identity theft, you can’t take any chances that your credit report is correct; you may find that a boat, motorcycle, and brownstone in the Bronx that were bought in your name and credit, then reposed and foreclosed in your name and credit.
Each year (once every 12 months), you can get free copies of your credit report from the 3 credit reporting agencies, Equifax, TransUnion and Experian, by visiting the website www.AnnualCreditReport.com, by calling (877) 322-8228, or by completing the Annual Credit Report Request Form (available online from http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/include/requestformfinal.pdf) and mailing it to: Annual Credit Report Request Service, P.O. Box 105281, Atlanta, GA 30348-5281.
Today is the day that you find out the interest rates on all your credit obligations. Maybe there’s a way to reduce that interest. Perhaps if you called the card company and asked for a lower rate, you’d get one. Who knows? All you can do is ask.
Today, take serious steps to alleviate the financial burdens your credit cards are placing on you. And, in the words of an exasperated parent, worn from years of bailing a child out of uncontrolled debt,
“If you can’t buy it with cash, you don’t need it. Don’t have any cash? It’s ‘cause you got too much credit.”
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 11, 2007
Economy is half the battle of life; it is not so hard to earn money as to spend it well.
~ C. H. Spurgeon
According to Forbes.com, on the average, American households make $54,453 a year before taxes and spend $43,395 in expenditures, leaving approximately $11,000 of discretionary money, less the 8 - 10% you give FICA an’ ‘em to supply the social insurance system, the estimated 25% in federal, state, and local taxes withheld to pay your share in sustaining the government, and any allowable deductions (medical expenses, charitable contributions, interest on loans, etc.). At the end of the year, you may have less than $6,000 left to play with, about $500 each month. If you subtract your tithes, savings, and maybe eating out or detailing your car, you may have about $1.67 at the end of the month.
Are you spending well?
A recent National Foundation for Credit Counseling survey of Americans’ budgeting and spending habits found that just 40% of us use monthly budgets, you know the thing that helps you know the amounts of money that currently come in and go out of your wallet; the thing that keeps you from wandering around wondering why you make so much but have so little? If you don’t have a monthly written plan of how and where you’re money goes, you have little to no control over your money and, ultimately, even your $1.67 goes carelessly out the window.
With a budget, you can see exactly how much you spend out each month and you can determine whether you’re spending too much for something, not spending enough for something else, or whether a thing can be cut completely. Having your expenditures before you makes it all real, sometimes too real. But hopefully the realness will cause you to make changes that will net you more than $2.00 at the end of the month.
The realness – do you really need all those cable channels? How many features do you need on a cell phone? Do you have to run the washing machine and dishwasher at the same time? Wouldn’t it save more costly energy to dry your clothes in the evening as opposed to the middle of the day? Does your dog have to eat the Science Diet® dog food? Will another pair of black shoes complement your feet any better than the pair you bought 2 weeks ago? Could you go to the grocery store only 1 time in 2 weeks; must you go every other day? If you bought dinner food at the grocery store, why would you stop at the fast food joint for dinner? That coffee maker you bought last year was supposed to replace your daily Starbuck’s visit every morning, wasn’t it? Why do you give in to your kids’ pouting each time they see the “teaser” toys and candy at the register? The late fees, don’t they cost more than the actual monthly charges? And, why would you pay the bank $35 - $40 to pay your bounced checks? Why not just stop writing bad checks?
Or, you can keep running from your money.
Did you know that not managing your money can cause depression and lead to stress that can compromise your immune system and perpetuate disease?
Manage your money so we can continue this written relationship.
Imagine all the money you could save and spend better if you would just develop a plan. Today, your challenge is to try it.
Sadiqqa © 2007
~ C. H. Spurgeon
According to Forbes.com, on the average, American households make $54,453 a year before taxes and spend $43,395 in expenditures, leaving approximately $11,000 of discretionary money, less the 8 - 10% you give FICA an’ ‘em to supply the social insurance system, the estimated 25% in federal, state, and local taxes withheld to pay your share in sustaining the government, and any allowable deductions (medical expenses, charitable contributions, interest on loans, etc.). At the end of the year, you may have less than $6,000 left to play with, about $500 each month. If you subtract your tithes, savings, and maybe eating out or detailing your car, you may have about $1.67 at the end of the month.
Are you spending well?
A recent National Foundation for Credit Counseling survey of Americans’ budgeting and spending habits found that just 40% of us use monthly budgets, you know the thing that helps you know the amounts of money that currently come in and go out of your wallet; the thing that keeps you from wandering around wondering why you make so much but have so little? If you don’t have a monthly written plan of how and where you’re money goes, you have little to no control over your money and, ultimately, even your $1.67 goes carelessly out the window.
With a budget, you can see exactly how much you spend out each month and you can determine whether you’re spending too much for something, not spending enough for something else, or whether a thing can be cut completely. Having your expenditures before you makes it all real, sometimes too real. But hopefully the realness will cause you to make changes that will net you more than $2.00 at the end of the month.
The realness – do you really need all those cable channels? How many features do you need on a cell phone? Do you have to run the washing machine and dishwasher at the same time? Wouldn’t it save more costly energy to dry your clothes in the evening as opposed to the middle of the day? Does your dog have to eat the Science Diet® dog food? Will another pair of black shoes complement your feet any better than the pair you bought 2 weeks ago? Could you go to the grocery store only 1 time in 2 weeks; must you go every other day? If you bought dinner food at the grocery store, why would you stop at the fast food joint for dinner? That coffee maker you bought last year was supposed to replace your daily Starbuck’s visit every morning, wasn’t it? Why do you give in to your kids’ pouting each time they see the “teaser” toys and candy at the register? The late fees, don’t they cost more than the actual monthly charges? And, why would you pay the bank $35 - $40 to pay your bounced checks? Why not just stop writing bad checks?
Or, you can keep running from your money.
Did you know that not managing your money can cause depression and lead to stress that can compromise your immune system and perpetuate disease?
Manage your money so we can continue this written relationship.
Imagine all the money you could save and spend better if you would just develop a plan. Today, your challenge is to try it.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 8, 2007
Would you marry you? Are you doing your best, giving your all, being the best you can be to yourself? If not, why are you pawning yourself off on someone else?
-- Iyanla Vanzant
You look forward to the day you stand before the preacher, look into adoring and hopeful eyes, and say, “I do.” You can imagine the feeling of being enveloped and involved in the life of holy matrimony. Seems you’ve waited your entire life to enjoy that time of life.
Inside the borders of marriage, you are required to consider the needs of your partner – her hunger, his warmth, her hobbies, his ideas. When married, you have good days and you celebrate with one another. You have bad days and you work it out with one another. You function with the in-laws, his friends, and her girlfriends. You talk about money, disciplining children, healthcare, spirituality, and all the other things that committed couples share for the livelihood of themselves and their union. You maintain the household together, deciding together whose talent is more conducive to which chore and duty. You find happy mediums, and sacrifice when necessary for the good of your spouse and the relationship. Inside the borders of marriage, these are the things that partners do, and you can’t wait to be a part of that body.
But first and foremost, have you considered all of that for yourself? Have you celebrated your own good days? Have you regularly applauded yourself for meeting your needs and going above and beyond to make yourself happy? Have you made yourself happy? Do you know what happiness is? Are you happy? If you’re not, how can you be happy with somebody else in your life? Are you waiting for somebody else to make you happy?
When things are not going well for you, do you shut down? Do you ball up under the covers with the door locked and ringer off, sleeping it off? Do you, instead of facing the hard stuff, throw yourself into work, drink it away, smoke it away, hit something or somebody, or call your stand-by for a quick booty hook-up? Is the way you deal with the hard stuff acceptable within a loving and lasting relationship?
What’s your relationship with money? Are you a spendthrift, unable to keep even your last dollar from burning a hole in your pocket? Or are you a miser, spending only what’s necessary to sustain your living, even haggling with the landlord each month about the fixed rent you’ve paid for many years? Are you at the limit on all your credit cards, constantly screening your calls so not to run into a collector? Do you have more money in the bank than presentable clothes on your back, or more clothes on your back than ample money in the bank? Are you able to find a medium between the two, or are you stuck on one side or the other? Most importantly, are you able to talk about your money situation with the someone you expect to spend the rest of your life with?
Do you have health issues that you’ve not checked on, not cleared up? When was your last physical? How’s your cholesterol? What’s your blood type? Is your blood free of disease? Do you have a copy of the results? Have you been to the dentist? Why are you limping? Is that mole on your shoulder getting larger? Are you eating right and well? How many times each week do you exercise to stay in shape and get your heart rate pumping? If you’re not taking care to know and do all this for yourself before you consider marriage, imagine having to do it afterward. Not only will you need to be aware of your own health needs, but you’ll have to keep up with your partner’s as well. Can you be trusted to do that if you’re not caring for your own now?
How’s your prayer life? Is it only in effect in times of need or do you thank God for each and every thing? Do you study the Word for yourself, or do you wait for Saturday or Sunday morning, or maybe Wednesday night to get a little Bible in? Do you talk comfortably about faith? Do you walk in faith? Is your life a testimony, a message, about how good God is in your life, or do you walk around forlorn, forgetting that you’ve been saved and promised eternal life? What will guide your marriage?
Is your house clean or a hot mess? What’s your relationship with your parents? Do you want children, or how is the current relationship between you and your children AND you and their other parent? Do you have any hobbies and interests? Do you pamper yourself with hot, relaxing baths, soothing rubs that make your skin soft, supple, and touchable? Do you take time to relax, thinking of nothing but the moment?
If you haven’t considered any of this, if you’re not already taking care of yourself, how then can you love and live peacefully with someone else? Being with someone else will not replace the need for you to be taking care of yourself now. No one can do these things for you; don’t expect for anyone to “save” you. You’ve got to be whole before you enter into marriage; one-half of each person in a relationship doesn’t make a whole marriage.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Iyanla Vanzant
You look forward to the day you stand before the preacher, look into adoring and hopeful eyes, and say, “I do.” You can imagine the feeling of being enveloped and involved in the life of holy matrimony. Seems you’ve waited your entire life to enjoy that time of life.
Inside the borders of marriage, you are required to consider the needs of your partner – her hunger, his warmth, her hobbies, his ideas. When married, you have good days and you celebrate with one another. You have bad days and you work it out with one another. You function with the in-laws, his friends, and her girlfriends. You talk about money, disciplining children, healthcare, spirituality, and all the other things that committed couples share for the livelihood of themselves and their union. You maintain the household together, deciding together whose talent is more conducive to which chore and duty. You find happy mediums, and sacrifice when necessary for the good of your spouse and the relationship. Inside the borders of marriage, these are the things that partners do, and you can’t wait to be a part of that body.
But first and foremost, have you considered all of that for yourself? Have you celebrated your own good days? Have you regularly applauded yourself for meeting your needs and going above and beyond to make yourself happy? Have you made yourself happy? Do you know what happiness is? Are you happy? If you’re not, how can you be happy with somebody else in your life? Are you waiting for somebody else to make you happy?
When things are not going well for you, do you shut down? Do you ball up under the covers with the door locked and ringer off, sleeping it off? Do you, instead of facing the hard stuff, throw yourself into work, drink it away, smoke it away, hit something or somebody, or call your stand-by for a quick booty hook-up? Is the way you deal with the hard stuff acceptable within a loving and lasting relationship?
What’s your relationship with money? Are you a spendthrift, unable to keep even your last dollar from burning a hole in your pocket? Or are you a miser, spending only what’s necessary to sustain your living, even haggling with the landlord each month about the fixed rent you’ve paid for many years? Are you at the limit on all your credit cards, constantly screening your calls so not to run into a collector? Do you have more money in the bank than presentable clothes on your back, or more clothes on your back than ample money in the bank? Are you able to find a medium between the two, or are you stuck on one side or the other? Most importantly, are you able to talk about your money situation with the someone you expect to spend the rest of your life with?
Do you have health issues that you’ve not checked on, not cleared up? When was your last physical? How’s your cholesterol? What’s your blood type? Is your blood free of disease? Do you have a copy of the results? Have you been to the dentist? Why are you limping? Is that mole on your shoulder getting larger? Are you eating right and well? How many times each week do you exercise to stay in shape and get your heart rate pumping? If you’re not taking care to know and do all this for yourself before you consider marriage, imagine having to do it afterward. Not only will you need to be aware of your own health needs, but you’ll have to keep up with your partner’s as well. Can you be trusted to do that if you’re not caring for your own now?
How’s your prayer life? Is it only in effect in times of need or do you thank God for each and every thing? Do you study the Word for yourself, or do you wait for Saturday or Sunday morning, or maybe Wednesday night to get a little Bible in? Do you talk comfortably about faith? Do you walk in faith? Is your life a testimony, a message, about how good God is in your life, or do you walk around forlorn, forgetting that you’ve been saved and promised eternal life? What will guide your marriage?
Is your house clean or a hot mess? What’s your relationship with your parents? Do you want children, or how is the current relationship between you and your children AND you and their other parent? Do you have any hobbies and interests? Do you pamper yourself with hot, relaxing baths, soothing rubs that make your skin soft, supple, and touchable? Do you take time to relax, thinking of nothing but the moment?
If you haven’t considered any of this, if you’re not already taking care of yourself, how then can you love and live peacefully with someone else? Being with someone else will not replace the need for you to be taking care of yourself now. No one can do these things for you; don’t expect for anyone to “save” you. You’ve got to be whole before you enter into marriage; one-half of each person in a relationship doesn’t make a whole marriage.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 7, 2007
The devil tempts but doesn’t force.
-- Guyana proverb
You and your work buddies just spent the last hour talking about your co-worker, and not in a favorable manner. You talked disparagingly about what she’s wearing, her hair, her work, even her kids. You called her a no good so n’ so, said she had no business thinking she is who she is, and offered up that she should be fired. When you got to your office and sat down at your desk, you realized the mess you’d created and been a part of and said, “Lord, forgive me. The devil made me do it.”
As you dressed for work this morning, you reflected on last evening when you dined with the most fabulous woman you’d met in a while. You and she shared interesting conversation that became intimate and cozy. The conversation led you hand-in-hand out of the restaurant, into your car, and headed to her home – the home she shared with her husband who happened to be out of town on business. You and she made wild, passionate love in the same bed that she and her husband conceived their children. Now as you think back on it, waves of guilt overtake you, and looking for some way out of the mess you’d been a part of, you say, “the devil made me do it.”
You were out of staples, paper clips, and scotch tape. You also needed more copy paper and labels. After hours at work, you went into the supply room, restocked those items, and put them in your attaché case to cart to your business on the side. Yes, for the past 6 years, your 9 – 5 has done more than supplied you with a paycheck. You’ve copped everything from office supplies and software to office furniture and random use of the company van to stock your flourishing home business. You said to yourself, “a big company like this, they’ll never miss this stuff. Besides I helped them make their profits, I deserve to take these perks.” In the middle of the night last night, it occurred to you, when you moved all the reasons why out of the way, that what you were doing was stealing. Ashamed and embarrassed about your actions, you cried. Then, in an attempt to feel better, you said, “the devil made me do it.”
Clever line; quick tactic, passing off the responsibility of your actions to somebody else. If there was ever anybody to blame, certainly your scandalous and distressing actions belong to the devil’s division.
But what about the gift of free will? The gift of free choice? Can the devil, the enemy, actually make you do anything without your choosing?
We do things, good and bad, based on our own ideas. Blaming our bad ideas and choices on another force is convenient and done so casually that before we realize it, we’ve taken ourselves off the hook as though we were mere puppets in the unfolding of unpleasant events of our lives, like we had no part in them whatsoever. Isn’t it irrational to not hold yourself accountable for the things you do?
But how funny is it that we don’t relinquish accountability when the good stuff has happened for us? Then it’s all about what we did. Why be accountable for the good and not the bad? Again, that’s just not rational thinking.
Both the enemy and God tell us what to do. You can think of it if you wish as the wicked angel on one shoulder and the moral angel on the other, both whispering in your ear the path to travel. On most occasions, one voice is just as loud as the other and both offer solutions that will remedy the problem, of course, however, with different ends. It’s your choice whose instructions and what end you will follow.
But don’t blame the devil when you make a bad choice. Just as you ignore God, you can certainly ignore the enemy’s taunts.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Guyana proverb
You and your work buddies just spent the last hour talking about your co-worker, and not in a favorable manner. You talked disparagingly about what she’s wearing, her hair, her work, even her kids. You called her a no good so n’ so, said she had no business thinking she is who she is, and offered up that she should be fired. When you got to your office and sat down at your desk, you realized the mess you’d created and been a part of and said, “Lord, forgive me. The devil made me do it.”
As you dressed for work this morning, you reflected on last evening when you dined with the most fabulous woman you’d met in a while. You and she shared interesting conversation that became intimate and cozy. The conversation led you hand-in-hand out of the restaurant, into your car, and headed to her home – the home she shared with her husband who happened to be out of town on business. You and she made wild, passionate love in the same bed that she and her husband conceived their children. Now as you think back on it, waves of guilt overtake you, and looking for some way out of the mess you’d been a part of, you say, “the devil made me do it.”
You were out of staples, paper clips, and scotch tape. You also needed more copy paper and labels. After hours at work, you went into the supply room, restocked those items, and put them in your attaché case to cart to your business on the side. Yes, for the past 6 years, your 9 – 5 has done more than supplied you with a paycheck. You’ve copped everything from office supplies and software to office furniture and random use of the company van to stock your flourishing home business. You said to yourself, “a big company like this, they’ll never miss this stuff. Besides I helped them make their profits, I deserve to take these perks.” In the middle of the night last night, it occurred to you, when you moved all the reasons why out of the way, that what you were doing was stealing. Ashamed and embarrassed about your actions, you cried. Then, in an attempt to feel better, you said, “the devil made me do it.”
Clever line; quick tactic, passing off the responsibility of your actions to somebody else. If there was ever anybody to blame, certainly your scandalous and distressing actions belong to the devil’s division.
But what about the gift of free will? The gift of free choice? Can the devil, the enemy, actually make you do anything without your choosing?
We do things, good and bad, based on our own ideas. Blaming our bad ideas and choices on another force is convenient and done so casually that before we realize it, we’ve taken ourselves off the hook as though we were mere puppets in the unfolding of unpleasant events of our lives, like we had no part in them whatsoever. Isn’t it irrational to not hold yourself accountable for the things you do?
But how funny is it that we don’t relinquish accountability when the good stuff has happened for us? Then it’s all about what we did. Why be accountable for the good and not the bad? Again, that’s just not rational thinking.
Both the enemy and God tell us what to do. You can think of it if you wish as the wicked angel on one shoulder and the moral angel on the other, both whispering in your ear the path to travel. On most occasions, one voice is just as loud as the other and both offer solutions that will remedy the problem, of course, however, with different ends. It’s your choice whose instructions and what end you will follow.
But don’t blame the devil when you make a bad choice. Just as you ignore God, you can certainly ignore the enemy’s taunts.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 6, 2007
Love makes your soul crawl out of its hiding place.
-- Zora Neale Hurston
When you finally give in to love, to the possibilities of love, to the rain or shine of love, things start to happen. Your skin clears up – perhaps because the endorphins your body releases during the high of love stimulate your immune system which then kills the bacteria that tries to escape through the pores in your face. Your body gets loosened – maybe because you become more conscious of the extra 20 pounds you’ve packed on since your hiatus from love, so you quicken your exercise routine which relaxes your tired bones and better circulates your blood. Your hair does magical things – probably because, since you want to be sure you’re looking good for your honey, you’ve found the extra time and money to get it trimmed or your ends clipped which makes your hair respond much differently than when you used to just pull it back in a ponytail or let a short afro rule your crown. Your voice is sweeter – say your honey’s name; don’t you sound sweet? Even your walk has a unique bounce – you’ve remembered how to twist your hips and enliven your swagger.
When you finally give in to love, the birds, the cicadas, and the crickets sing your tune – every tweet, hum, and rubbing together of the legs work together to accentuate the natural melody and mood you hear and feel in your head and heart. Every song on the radio is your song – from Fantasia’s “When I See U,” Musiq’s “Teachme,” and Ruben’s “Make Ya Feel Beautiful” to Big & Rich’s “Lost in This Moment,” Tim and Faith’s “I Need You,” and Little Big Town’s “A Little More You.” Even Frederic Chopin’s “Nocturne No. 2 in E Flat Major, Op. 9, No. 2” and the cyclic clanging of a bell and chanting monks in a Tibetan monastery do it for you when you’re head over heels in love.
Everything smells different, fresher; people look different; keener; and the world turns just right, right enough for you to have all the time in the world for loving your honey.
And all this because love tapped on the door of your soul’s hiding place.
Aren’t you glad you answered?
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Zora Neale Hurston
When you finally give in to love, to the possibilities of love, to the rain or shine of love, things start to happen. Your skin clears up – perhaps because the endorphins your body releases during the high of love stimulate your immune system which then kills the bacteria that tries to escape through the pores in your face. Your body gets loosened – maybe because you become more conscious of the extra 20 pounds you’ve packed on since your hiatus from love, so you quicken your exercise routine which relaxes your tired bones and better circulates your blood. Your hair does magical things – probably because, since you want to be sure you’re looking good for your honey, you’ve found the extra time and money to get it trimmed or your ends clipped which makes your hair respond much differently than when you used to just pull it back in a ponytail or let a short afro rule your crown. Your voice is sweeter – say your honey’s name; don’t you sound sweet? Even your walk has a unique bounce – you’ve remembered how to twist your hips and enliven your swagger.
When you finally give in to love, the birds, the cicadas, and the crickets sing your tune – every tweet, hum, and rubbing together of the legs work together to accentuate the natural melody and mood you hear and feel in your head and heart. Every song on the radio is your song – from Fantasia’s “When I See U,” Musiq’s “Teachme,” and Ruben’s “Make Ya Feel Beautiful” to Big & Rich’s “Lost in This Moment,” Tim and Faith’s “I Need You,” and Little Big Town’s “A Little More You.” Even Frederic Chopin’s “Nocturne No. 2 in E Flat Major, Op. 9, No. 2” and the cyclic clanging of a bell and chanting monks in a Tibetan monastery do it for you when you’re head over heels in love.
Everything smells different, fresher; people look different; keener; and the world turns just right, right enough for you to have all the time in the world for loving your honey.
And all this because love tapped on the door of your soul’s hiding place.
Aren’t you glad you answered?
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 5, 2007
Your problem is you’ve put yourself in a box, you’ve labeled the box, and you never let yourself step out of that box.
-- “Skeith,” from the book, “You Made Me Love You,” by Joanne Goodman
Are you really into accounting spreadsheets, straight-laced navy and black business suits, and board meetings with high-faluting self-important people, or do you long to be an artist painting on a scenic balcony in the south of France overlooking the Mediterranean coastline? What about a musician playing on international stages before millions and winning Grammy Awards, American Music Awards, World Music Awards, and the coveted Pulitzer Prize in Music? Or an entrepreneur who started a multi-national business on $50, a hobby, and magnanimous faith?
Or, what, did you get caught up in mama and daddy’s post-civil rights era conundrum – you know, the “now we can realistically aspire to be doctors, lawyers, and corporate execs” – and get trapped in a reliable and dependable job with guaranteed benefits, a pension, and a monotonous, ho-hum routine? Are you playing it safe by doing what’s expected, limiting your abilities and outlook, and putting your dreams and passions away for sometimes later, maybe after retirement from your corporate job, or for summer’s when you’re on vacation from 9 months of teaching?
There’s nothing wrong with living inside a knowable, unsurprising box. It’s comfortable and familiar in there. You’ve carved out a corner for yourself that allows you to see all 6 walls of the box, and really, you’ve decorated quite nicely. The trouble is your body – your spirit – is tiring of the same view; it’s tiring of holding itself in bent and stiff. It’s tired of being ignored.
Your spirit and the passions inside want to stretch out, live, and take center stage. They want to not be what mama an’ em said you should be; they want you to balk at traditional and conventional living and embrace them with all you’ve got. They want to show the world who you really are. And no matter what you do to quiet them, they will still exist and continue to rise, cut up, and make noise until you let them breathe and have their way.
Do something different; do what your heart desires. Maybe you’re not ready to give up the comfort of your box, but don’t wait too long. Cardboard eventually disintegrates and its contents lose their flavor and freshness.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- “Skeith,” from the book, “You Made Me Love You,” by Joanne Goodman
Are you really into accounting spreadsheets, straight-laced navy and black business suits, and board meetings with high-faluting self-important people, or do you long to be an artist painting on a scenic balcony in the south of France overlooking the Mediterranean coastline? What about a musician playing on international stages before millions and winning Grammy Awards, American Music Awards, World Music Awards, and the coveted Pulitzer Prize in Music? Or an entrepreneur who started a multi-national business on $50, a hobby, and magnanimous faith?
Or, what, did you get caught up in mama and daddy’s post-civil rights era conundrum – you know, the “now we can realistically aspire to be doctors, lawyers, and corporate execs” – and get trapped in a reliable and dependable job with guaranteed benefits, a pension, and a monotonous, ho-hum routine? Are you playing it safe by doing what’s expected, limiting your abilities and outlook, and putting your dreams and passions away for sometimes later, maybe after retirement from your corporate job, or for summer’s when you’re on vacation from 9 months of teaching?
There’s nothing wrong with living inside a knowable, unsurprising box. It’s comfortable and familiar in there. You’ve carved out a corner for yourself that allows you to see all 6 walls of the box, and really, you’ve decorated quite nicely. The trouble is your body – your spirit – is tiring of the same view; it’s tiring of holding itself in bent and stiff. It’s tired of being ignored.
Your spirit and the passions inside want to stretch out, live, and take center stage. They want to not be what mama an’ em said you should be; they want you to balk at traditional and conventional living and embrace them with all you’ve got. They want to show the world who you really are. And no matter what you do to quiet them, they will still exist and continue to rise, cut up, and make noise until you let them breathe and have their way.
Do something different; do what your heart desires. Maybe you’re not ready to give up the comfort of your box, but don’t wait too long. Cardboard eventually disintegrates and its contents lose their flavor and freshness.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 4, 2007
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
-- Leo Buscaglia
This Monday morning, on your way in to the office, you traveled the same route you do each work day. You impassively passed by the morning walkers, joggers, and porch sitting coffee drinkers in your neighborhood. You expressionlessly drove around the mailman and the other morning travelers leaving their driveways. You stopped by your usual morning eatery to get your regular sausage biscuit with grape jelly, hash brown, and strong cup of coffee and indifferently handed the cashier your money. You apathetically passed the people on the corner with their signs for work and food; you disinterestedly saw the bus stop regulars climbing aboard; and you impassively passed the guy who rides his bicycle in to work every morning.
When you greeted your teammate with a soulless grunt, you didn’t notice the look of anguish on his face, the one that begged for someone to listen to the story of his weekend and hear the pained words on his heart. Instead, you nonchalantly headed for your office and, trying not to appear aloof, decided against shutting your door. You began solemnly digging into your work responsibilities, deliberately shutting down every opportunity for morning banter and affability.
During the regular Monday morning team meeting, you vehemently attacked every review, criticized each plan of action, and stalemated the advancement of the current team project. While your assessments may have been accurate and astute, their delivery was less than civil and genteel.
By mid-morning, you had managed to ignore, discount, and annoy the people you live around each day. What real difference have you made in the world today? And in what shape did you leave your home?
Sure, Monday mornings are a drag. It’s hard to recover from even the mildest weekend of just sleeping in. But is that any reason to treat the world around you with disregard?
Imagine the warmth a smile to the porch sitters and walkers would have generated this morning. Imagine if you’d smiled and said “thank you” to the cashier at the restaurant, the next person in line may have had a better chance at receiving more gracious service. A simple “good morning!” to the corner people probably would have made them feel less invisible, and had you simply engaged your teammate in clearing his mind and heart, maybe you’d be guaranteed a more amiable working relationship and environment and maybe you could have taken into consideration the hard work others put into their jobs, gently critiquing their efforts, helping them to make the most of constructive criticism.
Maybe you wouldn’t now be looking for an aspirin to alleviate your headache and the pain in your shoulders.
Maybe you’d get more work done.
Maybe you wouldn’t get ignored on your way home.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Leo Buscaglia
This Monday morning, on your way in to the office, you traveled the same route you do each work day. You impassively passed by the morning walkers, joggers, and porch sitting coffee drinkers in your neighborhood. You expressionlessly drove around the mailman and the other morning travelers leaving their driveways. You stopped by your usual morning eatery to get your regular sausage biscuit with grape jelly, hash brown, and strong cup of coffee and indifferently handed the cashier your money. You apathetically passed the people on the corner with their signs for work and food; you disinterestedly saw the bus stop regulars climbing aboard; and you impassively passed the guy who rides his bicycle in to work every morning.
When you greeted your teammate with a soulless grunt, you didn’t notice the look of anguish on his face, the one that begged for someone to listen to the story of his weekend and hear the pained words on his heart. Instead, you nonchalantly headed for your office and, trying not to appear aloof, decided against shutting your door. You began solemnly digging into your work responsibilities, deliberately shutting down every opportunity for morning banter and affability.
During the regular Monday morning team meeting, you vehemently attacked every review, criticized each plan of action, and stalemated the advancement of the current team project. While your assessments may have been accurate and astute, their delivery was less than civil and genteel.
By mid-morning, you had managed to ignore, discount, and annoy the people you live around each day. What real difference have you made in the world today? And in what shape did you leave your home?
Sure, Monday mornings are a drag. It’s hard to recover from even the mildest weekend of just sleeping in. But is that any reason to treat the world around you with disregard?
Imagine the warmth a smile to the porch sitters and walkers would have generated this morning. Imagine if you’d smiled and said “thank you” to the cashier at the restaurant, the next person in line may have had a better chance at receiving more gracious service. A simple “good morning!” to the corner people probably would have made them feel less invisible, and had you simply engaged your teammate in clearing his mind and heart, maybe you’d be guaranteed a more amiable working relationship and environment and maybe you could have taken into consideration the hard work others put into their jobs, gently critiquing their efforts, helping them to make the most of constructive criticism.
Maybe you wouldn’t now be looking for an aspirin to alleviate your headache and the pain in your shoulders.
Maybe you’d get more work done.
Maybe you wouldn’t get ignored on your way home.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Jun 1, 2007
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean, if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
-- Mohandas K. Gandhi
The main story on the evening news last night was about immigrant boys in gangs who had committed heinous crimes throughout the city. The crimes committed were horrifying and varied, and caused shame and embarrassment among their parents and other people in their community. Meanwhile, other citizens of the city began to clutch their purses even tighter and call their representatives to advise tougher immigration laws.
A few rotten apples don’t bring the whole tree down.
Some of the kids in the neighborhood all wear the same color shirts. They are always huddled up and one guy seems to be preaching or lecturing to the others. They all flock to the same familiar car and disperse like roaches when the light of the police cars come down the street. The neighbors keep their doors locked and windows closed; nobody even sits on their large ornate porches. When the children selling cookie dough and magazines for the annual school fundraisers come around, the people won’t even open the doors, believing these kids are also up to no good.
All the chips in the bag aren’t crumbs.
Your history with the opposite sex has been eventful, yet discouraging. You throw yourself wholeheartedly into your relationships but end up, after each of them, let down, betrayed, and declaring never again to give your heart away. But this one feels different; no silly games, honest conversation, sincere concern for your well-being; this one feels different. But your instincts fooled you before. They all initially felt good, then, just when you’d begun to believe again, they ended sourly and hurtfully. You’re afraid to go there again.
A few monkeys don’t stop no show.
The man running the 7-Eleven looks like Osama. Sure, he’s run that corner store for many, many years, but, these days, you can’t be too sure. Your signature on the petition would be the last one needed to convince your neighbors to stop patronizing his store.
A rotten place on the banana doesn’t make the whole banana bad.
There’ll always be a few who make it tough for the masses. There’ll always be voices louder than the masses, and there’ll always be appalling actions by a few that overshadow the good deeds of the masses. But don’t throw in the towel on the whole bunch. Just because some white people treated black folks unfairly, doesn’t mean all white people are the devil. Just because some African Americans and Latinos hold down the cells in prison, doesn’t mean all of either race are criminals. And just because that person treated you like a dog doesn’t mean everybody will.
Have faith in people and only castigate the individuals who cause the pain and trouble. Don’t let single impressions guide your reactions to all people in the world. None of us are them; we’re only us.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Mohandas K. Gandhi
The main story on the evening news last night was about immigrant boys in gangs who had committed heinous crimes throughout the city. The crimes committed were horrifying and varied, and caused shame and embarrassment among their parents and other people in their community. Meanwhile, other citizens of the city began to clutch their purses even tighter and call their representatives to advise tougher immigration laws.
A few rotten apples don’t bring the whole tree down.
Some of the kids in the neighborhood all wear the same color shirts. They are always huddled up and one guy seems to be preaching or lecturing to the others. They all flock to the same familiar car and disperse like roaches when the light of the police cars come down the street. The neighbors keep their doors locked and windows closed; nobody even sits on their large ornate porches. When the children selling cookie dough and magazines for the annual school fundraisers come around, the people won’t even open the doors, believing these kids are also up to no good.
All the chips in the bag aren’t crumbs.
Your history with the opposite sex has been eventful, yet discouraging. You throw yourself wholeheartedly into your relationships but end up, after each of them, let down, betrayed, and declaring never again to give your heart away. But this one feels different; no silly games, honest conversation, sincere concern for your well-being; this one feels different. But your instincts fooled you before. They all initially felt good, then, just when you’d begun to believe again, they ended sourly and hurtfully. You’re afraid to go there again.
A few monkeys don’t stop no show.
The man running the 7-Eleven looks like Osama. Sure, he’s run that corner store for many, many years, but, these days, you can’t be too sure. Your signature on the petition would be the last one needed to convince your neighbors to stop patronizing his store.
A rotten place on the banana doesn’t make the whole banana bad.
There’ll always be a few who make it tough for the masses. There’ll always be voices louder than the masses, and there’ll always be appalling actions by a few that overshadow the good deeds of the masses. But don’t throw in the towel on the whole bunch. Just because some white people treated black folks unfairly, doesn’t mean all white people are the devil. Just because some African Americans and Latinos hold down the cells in prison, doesn’t mean all of either race are criminals. And just because that person treated you like a dog doesn’t mean everybody will.
Have faith in people and only castigate the individuals who cause the pain and trouble. Don’t let single impressions guide your reactions to all people in the world. None of us are them; we’re only us.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)