Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.
-- Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC
On any given day, children in schools and throughout neighborhoods are bullied. The U.S. Department of Justice reports that 1 out of every 4 children is bullied and that such bullying is mental, verbal, and physical. Our natural inclination is to either jack the bullies up by their collars or support the victims by infusing them with skills and strategies that will keep them from getting bullied. However, research indicates that a multidimensional approach is better, one that includes constructively activating and engaging all the bystanders silently and unresponsively watching the violence. Teaching bystanders – other kids, teachers, and parents – intervention skills is critical to maintaining learning and living environments that are safe, caring, and optimal places for our children to grow into conscientious citizens. Bystanders are key to creating these environments by acting in ways that will alleviate pressure and violence.
Likewise, each of us experience incidents of bullying in our adult worlds, and like our children, most of us don’t have the skills of intervention to make the bullying stop. In many cases the bullying, or discrimination and harassment, we experience is monstrous and just punishing the bullies or using our coping skills to protect ourselves from the bullies is ineffective. We still run or hide when the bullies come looking for us. As with our kids, the oppressive incidents we need to fight require each and every one of us who stand by be galvanized, organized, and in motion to defeat the bullies we face.
Never in more that 40 years have the tyrants we face today been more bold in repudiating justice. Never have they been more indifferent to our call for fairness and decency. Our bullies are overt and in our faces as they place our children in jail on vindictive charges, disregard blatant acts of hate, disparage working single mothers, and feel free to bombard us with self-serving, paternalistic, fundamentalist beliefs and babble. And while many of the incidents are not directly inflicted upon us, if it happens to one of us, it can happen to each of us. Thus, it is imperative that we not just watch it happen. We who are watching from the sidelines must do something.
But what do we do and how can we do it?
So glad you asked. First, we’ve got to join arms. We have to know the fights were up against require more than one, two, or a few people carrying the signs, making the speeches, and marching down the street. The fights we’re fighting require numbers, large numbers. And even if we don’t agree on every point, we’ve still got to stand united; there’ll be time enough for whittling down the fine points. There is strength in numbers; they can make a difference and positively impact the outcome of an issue.
Next, we must tell the bully to stop. Firmly and clearly we must tell our oppressors that what they are doing is unacceptable and they must discontinue the crap they’re doing at once. Bring out the facts, quote them correct and impassive theory and law.
Then, we do what we’ve done – support, encourage, and comfort the victim. We’ve been to Jena, we’ve been to DC, and now we’re going to the Louisiana state capital to appeal to the Governor on behalf of our children. We act as “villages” to all the children in the community, and we counter the erroneous beliefs and babble about our lives with our truth in song and spoken word. We’ve done a great job at supporting those who are hurting.
Lastly, we need to make sure we tell on the bully. Tell a person of authority. Because the D.A. and judge in Jena wouldn’t stop, would not listen, would not be reasonable, we told Congress and Congress ate some assets out and called for an investigation of federal and state judicial system practices.
None of these steps is easy and so many of us will choose, have chosen, to stay on the sidelines out of complacency and fear of retaliation. After all, who among us wants a noose on our doorknob?
However, in order for our children to be more than victims and bystanders, in order for them to experience and enjoy the fullness of life, we must be examples of conquerors. Each of us must take positive action to end the injustices perpetrated upon us by standing up to the brutes that try to intimidate and disenfranchise us. We owe it to our children to make the bullying stop.
We owe it to our children.
Get equipped. Act now.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Oct 18, 2007
Oct 17, 2007
Take each day as it comes.
-- Author Unknown
But, what if each day comes with illness and pain?
What if each day comes with confusion and heartache?
What if each day of your life is filled with so much of what you don’t want, you hate to see a new one turn over?
You still must take life one day at a time, no matter where your life stands. With each day, you must live in the moments and do the best that you can with each of them. You can’t live tomorrow today and you can’t go back to yesterday. All you have is today and right now.
If right now you’re living with pain, make a conscious decision to enjoy life anyway. Distract yourself from your pain, tell it to kiss your assets. Do some relaxation therapy like meditation or visual imagery – you can imagine yourself at this very moment free of pain, carefree, on the beach, butterball naked, can’t you?
If taking each day as it comes means that at this very moment you have to suffer through a broken heart, so be it. Grieve your loss. Whether it be the loss of someone you loved through death or a broken relationship or the loss of your human faculties, feel your feelings and think them through; don’t run from them or deny them, call the hurt and anger what it is. Then, do something for somebody else; love on yourself, and spend time with friends and family who make you laugh and feel good about living.
As you take each day as it comes, some days, even lots of days, may not be so good, but you can’t rush your life, this day, or this moment. They come as they come and they’ll go no faster than they’re supposed to. Live each day patiently, slowly, purposefully, and in God’s grace, even when they are less than you like.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Author Unknown
But, what if each day comes with illness and pain?
What if each day comes with confusion and heartache?
What if each day of your life is filled with so much of what you don’t want, you hate to see a new one turn over?
You still must take life one day at a time, no matter where your life stands. With each day, you must live in the moments and do the best that you can with each of them. You can’t live tomorrow today and you can’t go back to yesterday. All you have is today and right now.
If right now you’re living with pain, make a conscious decision to enjoy life anyway. Distract yourself from your pain, tell it to kiss your assets. Do some relaxation therapy like meditation or visual imagery – you can imagine yourself at this very moment free of pain, carefree, on the beach, butterball naked, can’t you?
If taking each day as it comes means that at this very moment you have to suffer through a broken heart, so be it. Grieve your loss. Whether it be the loss of someone you loved through death or a broken relationship or the loss of your human faculties, feel your feelings and think them through; don’t run from them or deny them, call the hurt and anger what it is. Then, do something for somebody else; love on yourself, and spend time with friends and family who make you laugh and feel good about living.
As you take each day as it comes, some days, even lots of days, may not be so good, but you can’t rush your life, this day, or this moment. They come as they come and they’ll go no faster than they’re supposed to. Live each day patiently, slowly, purposefully, and in God’s grace, even when they are less than you like.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Oct 16, 2007
I wasn’t as smart then as I am now. But who ever is?
-- Tina Turner
A long time ago, say, maybe 25 years ago, you wore the infamous Jheri Curl. Every 6 weeks or so you chemically loosened your tight curls with a cold wave kit, set them with another chemical on perm rollers, added yet another chemical to keep the curl in, poured on some SoftSheen Care Free Curl® activator, slept in a plastic bag every night, damaged several collars beyond repair, and avoided at all times being without an 8 ounce bottle of $6 curl activator. Today, your hair has recovered. It’s grown back after being lost to breakage, the texture is again pliable, and hardly anybody remembers the bald spots. The repair only took 15 years. Thank God you only wore that curl for 5 years!
Remember in high school how fine you thought his bow legs and strut were, how you believed it was cool the way he acted loud-mouthed with the teachers and some of the adults in the neighborhood, and how you felt special when he commented on the size of your butt and breasts thinking he actually noticed you? Remember when you and he finally went out and his boys seemed to come out of nowhere eyeing you like buzzards, licking their lips, and asking you for a “chance?” Remember how you pulled out your mace and whistle as they started to pull on your clothes? You still cringe when you see a pack of guys together, but now at least you’re able to discern what’s really cool. And, at last check, bow-legged and belligerent won’t be back on the streets until 2032.
Last week, she asked you if she looked fat in those pants. Of course you weren’t born yesterday so you tell her, “No, baby. You actually look great.” Feeling proud of yourself for coming up with such a quick and considerate response, you continue to pour praise and great compliments on her. She’s warmed by the admiration and wants to treat you to dinner at your favorite 5-star restaurant. When you prepare to leave, she’s wearing the pants she asked you about, looking all but slim and sexy. With a grimace on your face you said, “You’re wearing those?”
Perhaps a more honest response would have served you better. How’s your soup this week?
We’re all party to things we wished we hadn’t said or done, things that seem so beyond stupid now, things we wish we could do all over again. But, you can’t, and life does go on. We learn from our mistakes, and hopefully we learn to do things better, with more sense, and much more prudence.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Tina Turner
A long time ago, say, maybe 25 years ago, you wore the infamous Jheri Curl. Every 6 weeks or so you chemically loosened your tight curls with a cold wave kit, set them with another chemical on perm rollers, added yet another chemical to keep the curl in, poured on some SoftSheen Care Free Curl® activator, slept in a plastic bag every night, damaged several collars beyond repair, and avoided at all times being without an 8 ounce bottle of $6 curl activator. Today, your hair has recovered. It’s grown back after being lost to breakage, the texture is again pliable, and hardly anybody remembers the bald spots. The repair only took 15 years. Thank God you only wore that curl for 5 years!
Remember in high school how fine you thought his bow legs and strut were, how you believed it was cool the way he acted loud-mouthed with the teachers and some of the adults in the neighborhood, and how you felt special when he commented on the size of your butt and breasts thinking he actually noticed you? Remember when you and he finally went out and his boys seemed to come out of nowhere eyeing you like buzzards, licking their lips, and asking you for a “chance?” Remember how you pulled out your mace and whistle as they started to pull on your clothes? You still cringe when you see a pack of guys together, but now at least you’re able to discern what’s really cool. And, at last check, bow-legged and belligerent won’t be back on the streets until 2032.
Last week, she asked you if she looked fat in those pants. Of course you weren’t born yesterday so you tell her, “No, baby. You actually look great.” Feeling proud of yourself for coming up with such a quick and considerate response, you continue to pour praise and great compliments on her. She’s warmed by the admiration and wants to treat you to dinner at your favorite 5-star restaurant. When you prepare to leave, she’s wearing the pants she asked you about, looking all but slim and sexy. With a grimace on your face you said, “You’re wearing those?”
Perhaps a more honest response would have served you better. How’s your soup this week?
We’re all party to things we wished we hadn’t said or done, things that seem so beyond stupid now, things we wish we could do all over again. But, you can’t, and life does go on. We learn from our mistakes, and hopefully we learn to do things better, with more sense, and much more prudence.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Oct 15, 2007
To gauge your level of self-love, all you have to do is ask yourself, what have my romantic relationships been like? If your answer is that you’re currently in a committed, mutually satisfying relationship, you rate high on the scale of self-love. If you have a pattern of picking relationships that have been abusive and demeaning, or if you’ve thought that most of the men who cared about you were “boring” or “losers,” that too says a lot about how you feel about yourself. If you haven’t been in a committed relationship at all, or if you’ve convinced yourself that you “shouldn't even bother getting out of the house because there is no one out there,” that’s a sign that you’re creating scarcity for yourself because you feel unworthy of love.
-- Brenda L. Richardson and Brenda Wade, What Mama Couldn't Tell Us About Love
Perhaps when you find it difficult to open your heart to receive your honeylove, barring other adverse reasons, it could be a sign that you don’t feel worthy enough to receive that honey and all he or she has to give and share with you. Maybe you don’t feel emotionally capable of maintaining the relationship. Maybe you don’t love yourself enough to love another.
Or, maybe that honey’s just not your type.
While an inability to cultivate and maintain a loving and committed relationship can speak to a lack of self-love, perhaps an even more thorough gauge of determining your load of self-love can be found in the way you treat your career, finances, physical and mental health, and other important aspects of your life. Think about your job. Did you get to work on time today? Did you spend an unreasonable amount of time on the email sending jokes and chain mails? Have you spent most of the morning talking about your weekend, catching up on everybody else’s, and gossiping about the co-worker that everybody habitually talks about? All of these are a reflection on you, your work ethic, and your character. If you have love for your Self, you’ve gone above and beyond the normal call to set yourself apart from the rest of the latecomers and break room chatterers.
Is your checkbook always out of balance? Are you always paying bank fees for insufficient funds? Do you check your account online everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day? Don’t you owe it to the Self you love to make and keep your finances in order? You don’t want to end up penniless, do you? That wouldn’t honor the Self you know and love.
And what about your physical health? How’s your weight? Are you eating healthy foods? Is everything internal working as it should? Have you been to the doctor for a check-up lately? Have you been to the dentist? And your mental health? What do you do to preserve it? Do you take a day off just to rest and replenish, thinking of nothing but rest while you’re taking off. Do you laugh, have some fun? Do you seek professional psychological help when you feel the need to? Are you loving your Self enough to acknowledge when you’re not doing these things then scheduling the necessary appointments to take care of your Self?
Self-love is more than lighting scented candles, taking a warm aromatherapy baths, drinking chamomile tea, and relaxing. Those are just the icing, or maybe the bandages. Self-love is examining recurrent patterns of neglect and scarcity in your life, getting to the root cause of those feelings and events, then making plans to rectify where you’re lacking. It is only after your issues, circumstances, and situations have been examined and you tell your Self some hard truths, forgiving your Self, coming up with viable resolutions for change, and realizing that each and every person in this world is looking for real ways to love and appreciate themselves, that you can burn a candle, take a sweet-smelling bath, and relax.
George Benson (and the old Whitney) sang that the greatest love of all was learning to love yourself. Until you can do that, not only will your life remain lonely and chaotic, you’ll keep chasing your tail trying to figure out why it’s always bruised.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Brenda L. Richardson and Brenda Wade, What Mama Couldn't Tell Us About Love
Perhaps when you find it difficult to open your heart to receive your honeylove, barring other adverse reasons, it could be a sign that you don’t feel worthy enough to receive that honey and all he or she has to give and share with you. Maybe you don’t feel emotionally capable of maintaining the relationship. Maybe you don’t love yourself enough to love another.
Or, maybe that honey’s just not your type.
While an inability to cultivate and maintain a loving and committed relationship can speak to a lack of self-love, perhaps an even more thorough gauge of determining your load of self-love can be found in the way you treat your career, finances, physical and mental health, and other important aspects of your life. Think about your job. Did you get to work on time today? Did you spend an unreasonable amount of time on the email sending jokes and chain mails? Have you spent most of the morning talking about your weekend, catching up on everybody else’s, and gossiping about the co-worker that everybody habitually talks about? All of these are a reflection on you, your work ethic, and your character. If you have love for your Self, you’ve gone above and beyond the normal call to set yourself apart from the rest of the latecomers and break room chatterers.
Is your checkbook always out of balance? Are you always paying bank fees for insufficient funds? Do you check your account online everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day? Don’t you owe it to the Self you love to make and keep your finances in order? You don’t want to end up penniless, do you? That wouldn’t honor the Self you know and love.
And what about your physical health? How’s your weight? Are you eating healthy foods? Is everything internal working as it should? Have you been to the doctor for a check-up lately? Have you been to the dentist? And your mental health? What do you do to preserve it? Do you take a day off just to rest and replenish, thinking of nothing but rest while you’re taking off. Do you laugh, have some fun? Do you seek professional psychological help when you feel the need to? Are you loving your Self enough to acknowledge when you’re not doing these things then scheduling the necessary appointments to take care of your Self?
Self-love is more than lighting scented candles, taking a warm aromatherapy baths, drinking chamomile tea, and relaxing. Those are just the icing, or maybe the bandages. Self-love is examining recurrent patterns of neglect and scarcity in your life, getting to the root cause of those feelings and events, then making plans to rectify where you’re lacking. It is only after your issues, circumstances, and situations have been examined and you tell your Self some hard truths, forgiving your Self, coming up with viable resolutions for change, and realizing that each and every person in this world is looking for real ways to love and appreciate themselves, that you can burn a candle, take a sweet-smelling bath, and relax.
George Benson (and the old Whitney) sang that the greatest love of all was learning to love yourself. Until you can do that, not only will your life remain lonely and chaotic, you’ll keep chasing your tail trying to figure out why it’s always bruised.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Oct 10, 2007
It ain’t nothing to find no starting place in the world. You just start from where you find yourself.
-- August Wilson
And where you find yourself is perhaps where you’re supposed to be.
Think about it, right now you are where you are because of the path you’ve chosen. Maybe that path was ordained by God; maybe you chose that path because it was the easiest choice to make. Whatever the reason for the path, that’s the one you’re on. And, quite possibly, the laws of God’s universe require that you be on at this path at this point in your life.
You have the job you’re supposed to have right now. The honeylove in your life is who you’re supposed to be with right now. The circumstances and situations you’re in right now are those meant for you right now. Why? Who knows? Maybe it’s another law – the law of nothing in this world being by coincidence. Everything is on purpose and right now the things that are happening with you are happening on purpose because that’s the way life goes.
Now whether where you are is a good place or a station you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy is not the issue, though some of those desperate places you’re in are because of the enemy. The issue is that at each moment you have the opportunity to stay where you are, churning and thrashing water, chasing your tail, and making circles in the dust, or you can start over, start fresh, start something new. But even in staying still or starting over, whichever you choose, it’s the thing that’s supposed to be happening.
Perhaps you find that thought disconcerting and you feel your efforts powerless, even inconsequential. Perhaps the thought is liberating and frees you to think conscientiously about every juncture of your life so that you can make the most of it. However you feel, know it’s always your choice to move or stay still. But, whatever your choice, it is right where you are supposed to be.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- August Wilson
And where you find yourself is perhaps where you’re supposed to be.
Think about it, right now you are where you are because of the path you’ve chosen. Maybe that path was ordained by God; maybe you chose that path because it was the easiest choice to make. Whatever the reason for the path, that’s the one you’re on. And, quite possibly, the laws of God’s universe require that you be on at this path at this point in your life.
You have the job you’re supposed to have right now. The honeylove in your life is who you’re supposed to be with right now. The circumstances and situations you’re in right now are those meant for you right now. Why? Who knows? Maybe it’s another law – the law of nothing in this world being by coincidence. Everything is on purpose and right now the things that are happening with you are happening on purpose because that’s the way life goes.
Now whether where you are is a good place or a station you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy is not the issue, though some of those desperate places you’re in are because of the enemy. The issue is that at each moment you have the opportunity to stay where you are, churning and thrashing water, chasing your tail, and making circles in the dust, or you can start over, start fresh, start something new. But even in staying still or starting over, whichever you choose, it’s the thing that’s supposed to be happening.
Perhaps you find that thought disconcerting and you feel your efforts powerless, even inconsequential. Perhaps the thought is liberating and frees you to think conscientiously about every juncture of your life so that you can make the most of it. However you feel, know it’s always your choice to move or stay still. But, whatever your choice, it is right where you are supposed to be.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Oct 9, 2007
If we would trust life and ourselves a little more, we would do what comes naturally, what we are good at, giving it all that we’ve got. If we would stop looking for fame and fortune we might find we are sitting on a goldmine of ideas and abilities. If we would stop blaming others and being ashamed of ourselves, there would be no way we could expect or accept anything less than the best from ourselves and for ourselves. If we would stop chasing castles in the sky and do what we can do, where we are, the world would probably appreciate it and reward us greatly.
-- Iyanla Vanzant
Go ‘head, dare you.
Dare you today to be void of pretense and posturing. Dare you to drop the façade, the public image, the outward show. Dare you to be who you are uncovered and bare, raw and unfettered, uninhibited and natural. Dare you to be honest, wide open, forthcoming, and available. Dare you to be simple, uncomplicated, and stress-free. Dare you to be real.
Double dare you right now to be dream big, bigger, as big as you can, then build. Double dare you to trust yourself, step out on your trust, and make your dreams come true. Double dog dare you to go get what you want.
Super double dog dare you to not be afraid of yourself, your ambitions, your obstacles. Super double dog dare you to conquer the obstacles and turn them into opportunities to get better, brighter, faster, stronger, tougher, cleverer, and higher.
Dare you to lead the way, be a pioneer, set the trail to blaze. Dare you to make a difference. Dare you to shape the solution that solves the problem. Quadruple dare you to keep us alive, make us safe, and keep us feeling whole. Dare you in epic proportions to love us even when we’re unlovable, especially when we’re unlovable.
Go ‘head, dare you.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Iyanla Vanzant
Go ‘head, dare you.
Dare you today to be void of pretense and posturing. Dare you to drop the façade, the public image, the outward show. Dare you to be who you are uncovered and bare, raw and unfettered, uninhibited and natural. Dare you to be honest, wide open, forthcoming, and available. Dare you to be simple, uncomplicated, and stress-free. Dare you to be real.
Double dare you right now to be dream big, bigger, as big as you can, then build. Double dare you to trust yourself, step out on your trust, and make your dreams come true. Double dog dare you to go get what you want.
Super double dog dare you to not be afraid of yourself, your ambitions, your obstacles. Super double dog dare you to conquer the obstacles and turn them into opportunities to get better, brighter, faster, stronger, tougher, cleverer, and higher.
Dare you to lead the way, be a pioneer, set the trail to blaze. Dare you to make a difference. Dare you to shape the solution that solves the problem. Quadruple dare you to keep us alive, make us safe, and keep us feeling whole. Dare you in epic proportions to love us even when we’re unlovable, especially when we’re unlovable.
Go ‘head, dare you.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Oct 8, 2007
People misunderstand happiness. They think it’s the absence of trouble. That’s not happiness, that’s luck. Happiness is the ability to live well alongside trouble.
-- Rachel Kadish, Tolstoy Lied: A Love Story
Have you ever thought that as soon as you get through this thing you’re going through, this thing you’ve been going through for a very long time, this thing that just never seems to be different or go away – have you ever thought that as soon as it does, you’ll be happy?
Have you thought that perhaps what you’re going through means you can’t be, shouldn’t be happy? So you walk around always worried, always grumpy, never having fun, always wishing this thing would go away so that you can find yourself some happiness and fulfillment? You’re miserable and depressed, the people around you don’t want to be around you because you’re always irritable and complaining, and there seems to be no end to your troubles or your sour moods. You wait for your turn, looking for the rainbow, all the while moping around and wishing for a different set of circumstances. If only you could be happy, you think.
The truth of the matter is you can be happy. There’s no reason for you to be walking around God’s green earth unhappy and denying yourself opportunities to be happy. Without a doubt life can be hard and confusing and can have you caught in a wringer at any time. But even when despair seems to be your only friend, happiness is merely a breath away.
It comes down to thinking of your situation differently than you normally would, of looking at a larger picture of your life than the one you’re currently hanging on to, and giving yourself room and permission to experience something more than your current place. All of that means unlearning or defying some habits and going against the feelings of the moment. It means looking into those moments and pulling from them energy, excitement, and harmony that supersede all anguish. It means acknowledging that your stuff exists, stinks, hurts, and needs resolution, but choosing to be in high spirits, relaxed, and free from anxiety in spite of the stuff. It means staring your stuff in the face, taking a deep breath then saying, “so what, you can’t steal or still my joy!”
So you have no money; you can still be happy knowing that the money you’ve spent has sustained you and your family. Maybe your health is failing you. You can still be happy because you’re here right now breathing and being loved. You sleep alone, but you can still be happy because you know you’re too fabulous to sleep alone forever, so in the meantime, you bless your honey wherever he or she is.
Though happiness can be fleeting, you deserve to experience it. And no matter what your life looks or feels like, it’s up to you to seek happiness at every turn. Right beside your worries, underneath your troubles, behind your heartache, in the bigger picture – there is where you will find happiness. Go get it.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Rachel Kadish, Tolstoy Lied: A Love Story
Have you ever thought that as soon as you get through this thing you’re going through, this thing you’ve been going through for a very long time, this thing that just never seems to be different or go away – have you ever thought that as soon as it does, you’ll be happy?
Have you thought that perhaps what you’re going through means you can’t be, shouldn’t be happy? So you walk around always worried, always grumpy, never having fun, always wishing this thing would go away so that you can find yourself some happiness and fulfillment? You’re miserable and depressed, the people around you don’t want to be around you because you’re always irritable and complaining, and there seems to be no end to your troubles or your sour moods. You wait for your turn, looking for the rainbow, all the while moping around and wishing for a different set of circumstances. If only you could be happy, you think.
The truth of the matter is you can be happy. There’s no reason for you to be walking around God’s green earth unhappy and denying yourself opportunities to be happy. Without a doubt life can be hard and confusing and can have you caught in a wringer at any time. But even when despair seems to be your only friend, happiness is merely a breath away.
It comes down to thinking of your situation differently than you normally would, of looking at a larger picture of your life than the one you’re currently hanging on to, and giving yourself room and permission to experience something more than your current place. All of that means unlearning or defying some habits and going against the feelings of the moment. It means looking into those moments and pulling from them energy, excitement, and harmony that supersede all anguish. It means acknowledging that your stuff exists, stinks, hurts, and needs resolution, but choosing to be in high spirits, relaxed, and free from anxiety in spite of the stuff. It means staring your stuff in the face, taking a deep breath then saying, “so what, you can’t steal or still my joy!”
So you have no money; you can still be happy knowing that the money you’ve spent has sustained you and your family. Maybe your health is failing you. You can still be happy because you’re here right now breathing and being loved. You sleep alone, but you can still be happy because you know you’re too fabulous to sleep alone forever, so in the meantime, you bless your honey wherever he or she is.
Though happiness can be fleeting, you deserve to experience it. And no matter what your life looks or feels like, it’s up to you to seek happiness at every turn. Right beside your worries, underneath your troubles, behind your heartache, in the bigger picture – there is where you will find happiness. Go get it.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Oct 5, 2007
“... where would you like for me to be?”
-- Sébakkha’s psalm
“... if I were anywhere,” Sébakkha said, “I’d be at sea, drifting lazily on the waves. I’d have to have you with me, so we could sail together anywhere...
He said, “I’d be in your heart, in your mind, gyrating inside your soul, making myself at home in your body’s living room... I’d be inside of you, and outside of you, and around you. I’d border your shadow. Inside you, I’d feel every thought you have; I’d make myself every thought you’d have...
“Anywhere?” he asked. “I’d be at the beginning and the ending of your day. I’d be in the middle of your day, at the heart of your hour, its minutes and seconds.
“I’d be in your dreams,” Sébakkha purred.
“I’d be anywhere, preparing a place for you, a place for us, where I’d wake up to you every morning, pray and plan over guava juice with you each morning, greet you lovingly when we’ve returned from our day’s work, share my evening with you every night, share my bed with you every night, sharing my self with your self as many nights as you could take me. And then, we’d begin all over again the next day, for the rest of our days.
He said, “Baby, I’d be wherever you needed me to be - at your feet when they’re sore, holding your hands when they’re cold, standing beside you, behind you, around you, for you.” That’s what Sébakkha said.
The Sébakkha said, “I’d be anywhere, posing as your shelter if your house blew away, standing as your family when death takes your folks away, looking like you if you lost your way...
“I’d be on your shelf, so I could watch you sleep. I’d be in your book so you could read me. I’d be in your favorite song so you could sing me. I’d be in the air so you could breathe me. I’d be in your perfume, and I’d stay on all day. I’d be on your person; you’d wear me so well.
“Where,” Sébakkha asked as he turned down the lights, “would you like for me to be?”
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Sébakkha’s psalm
“... if I were anywhere,” Sébakkha said, “I’d be at sea, drifting lazily on the waves. I’d have to have you with me, so we could sail together anywhere...
He said, “I’d be in your heart, in your mind, gyrating inside your soul, making myself at home in your body’s living room... I’d be inside of you, and outside of you, and around you. I’d border your shadow. Inside you, I’d feel every thought you have; I’d make myself every thought you’d have...
“Anywhere?” he asked. “I’d be at the beginning and the ending of your day. I’d be in the middle of your day, at the heart of your hour, its minutes and seconds.
“I’d be in your dreams,” Sébakkha purred.
“I’d be anywhere, preparing a place for you, a place for us, where I’d wake up to you every morning, pray and plan over guava juice with you each morning, greet you lovingly when we’ve returned from our day’s work, share my evening with you every night, share my bed with you every night, sharing my self with your self as many nights as you could take me. And then, we’d begin all over again the next day, for the rest of our days.
He said, “Baby, I’d be wherever you needed me to be - at your feet when they’re sore, holding your hands when they’re cold, standing beside you, behind you, around you, for you.” That’s what Sébakkha said.
The Sébakkha said, “I’d be anywhere, posing as your shelter if your house blew away, standing as your family when death takes your folks away, looking like you if you lost your way...
“I’d be on your shelf, so I could watch you sleep. I’d be in your book so you could read me. I’d be in your favorite song so you could sing me. I’d be in the air so you could breathe me. I’d be in your perfume, and I’d stay on all day. I’d be on your person; you’d wear me so well.
“Where,” Sébakkha asked as he turned down the lights, “would you like for me to be?”
Sadiqqa © 2007
Oct 4, 2007
If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.
-- Cher
When love finds you, will you be receptive?
When love comes rising through the cracks looking for you, as it most certainly will – when it’s your turn – will it find you healthy and whole? Will it find you caring meticulously for your body and mind, eating the right foods, drinking liquids responsibly, and regularly exercising your body and mind? When love grows up through the cement, will you be healthy enough to pull it up?
When it taps you on the left shoulder, will you already be happy with yourself? Will you already be satisfied with your life? Will you already feel complete and know that you are beautiful, important, and desirable and that love only comes to complement the wonderful creature you are? Will you know without a doubt that you are worth loving, worth covering, and worth being adored and celebrated? Will you let love kiss and hold you and you kiss and hold love back?
Will you invite love into a clean and clear spirit, nestle it into an already functioning sense of joyfulness and peace? Will love feel welcome in the space of you?
Or, when it slips through, will it be crowded out by bags of stuff? Stuff so thick and tough and unexamined that it suffocates before it even has a chance to blossom? Will love come face-to-face with disbelief, mistrust, defiance, and disregard and have no choice but to rot and die? Will love be extinguished by bitterness and brokenness then balk forever from you, never again to be seen in your neck of the woods?
Just what will love find when it comes through for you?
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Cher
When love finds you, will you be receptive?
When love comes rising through the cracks looking for you, as it most certainly will – when it’s your turn – will it find you healthy and whole? Will it find you caring meticulously for your body and mind, eating the right foods, drinking liquids responsibly, and regularly exercising your body and mind? When love grows up through the cement, will you be healthy enough to pull it up?
When it taps you on the left shoulder, will you already be happy with yourself? Will you already be satisfied with your life? Will you already feel complete and know that you are beautiful, important, and desirable and that love only comes to complement the wonderful creature you are? Will you know without a doubt that you are worth loving, worth covering, and worth being adored and celebrated? Will you let love kiss and hold you and you kiss and hold love back?
Will you invite love into a clean and clear spirit, nestle it into an already functioning sense of joyfulness and peace? Will love feel welcome in the space of you?
Or, when it slips through, will it be crowded out by bags of stuff? Stuff so thick and tough and unexamined that it suffocates before it even has a chance to blossom? Will love come face-to-face with disbelief, mistrust, defiance, and disregard and have no choice but to rot and die? Will love be extinguished by bitterness and brokenness then balk forever from you, never again to be seen in your neck of the woods?
Just what will love find when it comes through for you?
Sadiqqa © 2007
Oct 3, 2007
Be respectful, but keep it real.
-- Michael Baisdon
Perhaps the reason race relations have not progressed is because we don’t talk with one another. Perhaps the reason we don’t talk is because we don’t think the other listens. Perhaps they don’t listen because sometimes when we Black folks talk, we tend to shout.
Who in the hell wants to be yelled at?
There’s a fine art to getting your point across. It takes savvy. It takes gracefulness. It doesn’t require that you shout, point fingers, place your hands on your hips, or roll your neck. Likewise, keeping it real doesn’t mean you have to call somebody on the carpet or, for affect, add expletives to the truth as you shout in people’s faces. The truth can be heard without all the drama.
At all times, though, say what needs to be said and to whom it needs to be said. Never be afraid to voice your opinion and needs, for thoughts left unspoken remain only thoughts.
So how should you tell others how you feel and what you need? Again, it’s all about art. Case, in point –
Your workplace is made up of lots of people, but the majority of them are not your race or ethnicity or religion or gender or whatever. You find in many cases that you have become the posture child for your race, ethnicity, religion, or gender and feel on occasion innately responsible for representing the difference and showing the office that your people are actually astute folks who should be considered and revered. Mostly, however, you spend a lot of your time feeling tired from representing and resentful because your officemates have prejudices.
But on days when you can stomach the differences, you go about making friends, real friends with whom you share things in common. You begin to earn their trust as well as that of the office for knowing and doing your job well, and being an upstanding person with a pleasing personality and a natural facility to care for others. You present yourself as fair, approachable, likable, reliable, knowledgeable and professional, and as your officemates begin to rely on you as part of the office team, your opinions and needs become integral to the culture and environment of the office. And –
BAM!!,
There it is! The point that you can stand up and speak up about the issues that are on your mind. The point where you can have honest conversation and have your arguments and beliefs received as credible and worth listening to. It is only after you have presented yourself as one of the team to be respected and valued that you can be heard and taken seriously about anything. You may even be able to throw in a neck or eye roll at that point.
You still can’t shout though. Nobody wants to be shouted at.
This doesn’t mean they’ll change their minds about the differences, but at least you’ve gotten your ideas across. Maybe somebody’s mind and life will be changed. It starts with just one anyway.
The point is, keeping it real doesn’t mean you have to shout or be mean or even dredge up years and lifetimes of injustices. All you have to do is be respectful, trustworthy, and truthful. Speak up, but speak righteously.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Michael Baisdon
Perhaps the reason race relations have not progressed is because we don’t talk with one another. Perhaps the reason we don’t talk is because we don’t think the other listens. Perhaps they don’t listen because sometimes when we Black folks talk, we tend to shout.
Who in the hell wants to be yelled at?
There’s a fine art to getting your point across. It takes savvy. It takes gracefulness. It doesn’t require that you shout, point fingers, place your hands on your hips, or roll your neck. Likewise, keeping it real doesn’t mean you have to call somebody on the carpet or, for affect, add expletives to the truth as you shout in people’s faces. The truth can be heard without all the drama.
At all times, though, say what needs to be said and to whom it needs to be said. Never be afraid to voice your opinion and needs, for thoughts left unspoken remain only thoughts.
So how should you tell others how you feel and what you need? Again, it’s all about art. Case, in point –
Your workplace is made up of lots of people, but the majority of them are not your race or ethnicity or religion or gender or whatever. You find in many cases that you have become the posture child for your race, ethnicity, religion, or gender and feel on occasion innately responsible for representing the difference and showing the office that your people are actually astute folks who should be considered and revered. Mostly, however, you spend a lot of your time feeling tired from representing and resentful because your officemates have prejudices.
But on days when you can stomach the differences, you go about making friends, real friends with whom you share things in common. You begin to earn their trust as well as that of the office for knowing and doing your job well, and being an upstanding person with a pleasing personality and a natural facility to care for others. You present yourself as fair, approachable, likable, reliable, knowledgeable and professional, and as your officemates begin to rely on you as part of the office team, your opinions and needs become integral to the culture and environment of the office. And –
BAM!!,
There it is! The point that you can stand up and speak up about the issues that are on your mind. The point where you can have honest conversation and have your arguments and beliefs received as credible and worth listening to. It is only after you have presented yourself as one of the team to be respected and valued that you can be heard and taken seriously about anything. You may even be able to throw in a neck or eye roll at that point.
You still can’t shout though. Nobody wants to be shouted at.
This doesn’t mean they’ll change their minds about the differences, but at least you’ve gotten your ideas across. Maybe somebody’s mind and life will be changed. It starts with just one anyway.
The point is, keeping it real doesn’t mean you have to shout or be mean or even dredge up years and lifetimes of injustices. All you have to do is be respectful, trustworthy, and truthful. Speak up, but speak righteously.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Oct 2, 2007
I hope I’ve contributed to your civility.
-- Rev. Jesse Jackson to Bill O’Reilly at the end of an interview on “The O’Reilly Factor”
Hey, Bill O’Reilly! Guess what?! All Black people don’t like chitterlings and watermelon, and all of us can’t dance!
Surprise!
And guess what else? A large number of Black folks are college educated and middle class, and most of us who came from or run female-headed households are not dangling below the poverty line or leaving our children behind!
Another big surprise, eh?
Oh, and check this out! We put our pants and shirts on just like you. We put gas in our cars and complain about the high prices of oil just like you. We’re baffled by the war, our choice of presidential candidates, taxes, and the depletion of the ozone layer just like you. And we’re as appalled by selected sound bites as you are.
Still surprised?
Get over it!
While some our perspectives about life in America may differ, when it comes down to an evening at home, loving our families, educating our children, earning our living, and worshipping a God we believe in, we all do it. And, we usually do it in the same way – civilly, respectfully, and in ways that successfully sustain our livelihood.
Seriously, we’ve lived in America together for quite some time now, and while you believe yourself economically and socially superior, we still live together and often mimic one another so much, who actually knows where you begin and we end?
Really though, get to know us – the way we know you – not by what you’ve seen on television (it has all Black folks depicted as gang bangers, poverty-stricken, or supporters of substandard lifestyles and habits) and not by the few you’ve passed on the street who make you nervous and declare you’re all afraid of us. And, please, not by the loud-mouthed of us who show up for the photo-ops and speaking engagements. Discern us from them. Please.
The next time you visit Sylvia’s, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, or Joe’s Barbecue on the other side of the railroad tracks, instead of looking for differences then talking about them in ways you believe will sooth your paternalistic soul and make you feel comfortable, shut up and eat your damned food!
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Rev. Jesse Jackson to Bill O’Reilly at the end of an interview on “The O’Reilly Factor”
Hey, Bill O’Reilly! Guess what?! All Black people don’t like chitterlings and watermelon, and all of us can’t dance!
Surprise!
And guess what else? A large number of Black folks are college educated and middle class, and most of us who came from or run female-headed households are not dangling below the poverty line or leaving our children behind!
Another big surprise, eh?
Oh, and check this out! We put our pants and shirts on just like you. We put gas in our cars and complain about the high prices of oil just like you. We’re baffled by the war, our choice of presidential candidates, taxes, and the depletion of the ozone layer just like you. And we’re as appalled by selected sound bites as you are.
Still surprised?
Get over it!
While some our perspectives about life in America may differ, when it comes down to an evening at home, loving our families, educating our children, earning our living, and worshipping a God we believe in, we all do it. And, we usually do it in the same way – civilly, respectfully, and in ways that successfully sustain our livelihood.
Seriously, we’ve lived in America together for quite some time now, and while you believe yourself economically and socially superior, we still live together and often mimic one another so much, who actually knows where you begin and we end?
Really though, get to know us – the way we know you – not by what you’ve seen on television (it has all Black folks depicted as gang bangers, poverty-stricken, or supporters of substandard lifestyles and habits) and not by the few you’ve passed on the street who make you nervous and declare you’re all afraid of us. And, please, not by the loud-mouthed of us who show up for the photo-ops and speaking engagements. Discern us from them. Please.
The next time you visit Sylvia’s, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, or Joe’s Barbecue on the other side of the railroad tracks, instead of looking for differences then talking about them in ways you believe will sooth your paternalistic soul and make you feel comfortable, shut up and eat your damned food!
Sadiqqa © 2007
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