I am a woman and you are a man and I have always known it. If you love me, tell me so. Don’t approach me as you would an enemy. I am on your side and have always been. We have survived, and we may just be able to teach the world a lesson.
‑‑ Fran Sanders

We women and men, we’re a team. When one is winning, both of us are winning; when one is down, the other’s down, too. When one of us is hurt, we both weep; and when one of us is happy, both of us are lifted up. We complement each other, providing for one another that which the other needs. We are yin and yang, fire and water, noun and verb. We are the unity of opposites, balancing, supplementing, and completing one another. We are as the ancient philosopher Heraclitus mused, “The road up and the road down are the same thing.”

But as good as all that sounds, sometimes the hardest thing to do is see man and woman as bonafide partners making the world spin, twist, and turn together.

It’s extremely hard when we treat each other as objects – sexual objects, money objects – and not as humans with feelings. It’s even more difficult to fathom men and women as collaborators in the churning of life when we entertain and encourage misogyny and misandry. When the messages we give and receive define men as “dogs” and women as “female dogs,” how easy is it to consider that man or that woman your teammate?

At every moment and opportunity, our task as lovers of one another should be to confront and refute the negativity, pessimism, and contemptuousness that keep us women and men from embracing each another and our differences, regardless of our personal and painful experiences. Whoa, that’s a mouthful! Here it is again: At every moment and opportunity, our task as lovers of one another should be to confront and refute the negativity, pessimism, and contemptuousness that keep us women and men from embracing each another and our differences, regardless of our personal and painful experiences.

When we don’t challenge the derision, we perpetuate the myths, stereotypes, lies, and deceit, and, of course, never move to the next level. We never become one, never become whole. We remain disconnected, disjointed, and never strong enough to elevate ourselves or unite our families and community.

Imagine who we would be if we could honor one another; respect, consider, and cover one another. Imagine what our meeting would be if we realized we’re on the same road and each day slowed up to greet, kiss, and hug each other as we walked about the road. Imagine that our meeting in the middle of the road tilted the world back into perfect balance.

Sadiqqa © 2007

I ran [for the presidency] because someone had to do it first.
-- Shirley Chisholm

Somebody has to do the job in the way you do; someone has to carry the load the way you carry it; and somebody’s got to represent in the way that you do. You’re the one and only one to do that. You’re the first.

Perhaps you’re the first in your family to become a medical doctor or doctor of philosophy. Perhaps you’re the first to own your own business or be the head of a major corporation. Perhaps you’re the only one in your family who’s ever owned a home or been able to afford a home in the more expensive and exclusive parts of town. Perhaps you’re the first of your lineage to move the heck out of the projects.

Maybe you’re the first and only one in your office to ever hold the position you do, perhaps the job was created just for you. Maybe you’re the first minority in your field and you’ve been asked to chair the team that will write the profession’s diversity manual. Maybe you’re the first person to sensitively speak to the masses about a sure and cohesive solution for understanding and accepting differences. Maybe you’re the first one who can get the nation to talk honestly about its deep-rooted, subconscious, and habitual issues of race.

Maybe you are the first to participate in a national health study; the first to receive a new vaccine; the first volunteer to undergo national drug testing clinical trials that could help discover the answer to the world’s greatest medical enigma although it could put your long-term health in jeopardy. Maybe you’d be the first to admit you’re scared, but the success of these trials is bigger and far more critical than your fear.

If you’re the first, you can write your name in the annals of history. You are forever memorialized and a legacy by which others frame and shape their lives. But being the first also carries with it great responsibilities. You not only have to pave the way, you have to pave a righteous way. Everybody’s watching you; most are watching in awe and they’re looking to see how it’s done, what you’ve done to set the foundation. You owe them a pretty picture, a good story, a fine blueprint that will help them advance and improve what you’ve laid down.

Then, you can move on to the next thing and be the first to do that too.

Sadiqqa © 2007

I’ve been going through. But, I’m okay.
-- Anonymous

Amid the stuff in your life that hurts, amid the struggles that sometimes take your breath away, in the middle of the uncertainty that feels as though it’ll never clear, when everything looks bleak and threatens to stay blue forever, somewhere there’s a voice within that is still singing, still praising, and still versed to move on and over.

Underneath the rock, the earthworm rests. But when it rains, he is forced above ground where there is very little oxygen and too much sun for his light sensitive body. On his way back home, he’s nipped by a bird but not caught, then clipped by a shoe but not smashed. In the end, he returns to his rock, scraped and worn out, but still in one solid, unbroken piece. Still okay.

Pushed into a clearing by ambitious developers, fair game to all predators, the deer runs madly to the other side of the road toward delicious-looking brush only to be side-swiped by an SUV and left bruised and disorientated along the edge of the road. Anxiously yet slowly pushing herself off the ground, the deer hobbles back through the clearing, finds thick brush in which to hide, rest, and mend her wounds, then listens to and follows closely the familiar sounds that will lead her to denser and safer thickets. She’s a bit out of her comfort zone, scared out of her deer mind, but she’s finding her way. She’s still okay.

With every night, there may come loneliness or bad dreams. But attached to every night is a morning, and if you can make it to morning, you’re still okay. Never are you so far under that a breeze, a breath from God, can’t hit your face to remind you that you can still breath and thus improve the adverse situations and circumstances in which you find yourself. At all times, you are still okay, and never is there too much to handle, too much to sort out, or too much to confront that you can’t still make it through.

You may be worn and torn and the shackles and shanks may have left you sore, sad, mad, busted, and disgusted. But, thank you Jesus, even in the middle of the stuff, you’re still capable and cool, in control and unmoved. You’re still okay.

Sadiqqa © 2007

There will be times when you feel misunderstood and alone. Never dwell on these things. Take time to listen to your heart, spend time with your Self. Avoid at all costs the temptation to place yourself in unhealthy, unproductive, and dishonorable situations just to avoid being alone with the depth of what you feel.
-- Yawfah Shakor

Ever knew anybody that so hated to be alone with themselves that they would do just about anything or be with just about anybody to avoid spending time alone? They so dislike or mistrust being by themselves that they surround themselves with stuff, stuff that occupies their thoughts and time and keeps them from focusing on who, where, and why they are. As a matter of fact, the last time they were forced to have a little quiet time alone with themselves, they were so frightened of the noise in the silence, they vowed never again to be quiet.

Geez, what chaos they must feel.

Oh. Sorry. Was that your toe?

Is that you? One who finds it difficult to sit with your Self and mull through your emotions, motivations, and responses to life? Are you are unable to find, face, and follow your inner voice, that persistent voice that speaks righteously from your soul about who you really are. Is it you who is unable to question and answer yourself honestly or find sense of balance because you won’t take the time to check in with you? Is it you who only understands your Self through the eyes and thoughts of others?

You border your Self by things – big things like material items that make you look like you’re important, unflustered, and protected, and other big things like bravado, pretentiousness, and narcissism. You even hold tight to little things like trinkets and knick-knacks and keeping up with whose car, house, and job are bigger and better than yours. All that stuff simply takes up space in your brain and day and doesn’t get you a step closer to understanding who you are and what you have to contribute to the world.

You drown yourself in work so you won’t have to think about how you feel, what hurts, and the length of time it takes to heal, like ignoring the pain will make it miraculously disappear instead of meet you around every corner. You listen to your music very loudly so you won’t hear the baggage rattling around in your head. You drink your way past the pain of being alone, numbing yourself so you won’t have to figure out how to handle what’s underneath. On many mornings you wake to a warm body next to you but have no idea who it is or how it got there, but can it stay so you don’t have to be alone to think?

You walk past mirrors without looking in them so you won’t have to meet the look in your eyes, the look that says you hurt, you’re angry, you’re ashamed and afraid because to do so would mean you’d have to stop, be quiet, and examine the things that make you scared and uncomfortable. Even when you brush your teeth and comb your hair, you only see your teeth and hair, not a reflection of your beauty or the perfection of your heart. You’ve covered them up for so long, avoided nurturing them for this long, you can’t see anything but a body before the mirror. And on that body, you’ve placed just enough to gather you another evening of not being alone.

What are you gonna do? Stay in a place that keeps your mind occupied and away from the dark, hurtful, and confusing places? What ends up happening then? You end up with more stuff to cover up and hide from, repeating the same cycle over and over again.

Today, start to open the closet and look inside. You don’t have to move quickly and you don’t have to do it all today. Just start. It won’t be easy. It won’t be obvious. Seek professional assistance when you need to. Instead of running from it and to something or somebody, start taking the stuff off the shelves, little by little, examining it, crying over it, peeling it apart. Then bag it up the garbage truck.

Today is that day to never care again that you’re alone.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb, that’s where the fruit is.
-- T. Burton

Imagine that the treasure you want, the opportunity of a lifetime, is at the end of the road, but the road is full of dips and bends, valleys and mountains, and cracks and gaps. Along the road toward your prize, you are likely to experience forks in the road that are both appealing and complicated, and you’ll come upon road blocks that seem as long as the Great Wall of China but only as thick as the skin you wear. You may step in a sinkhole here or there that cripples your efforts, be thrown off your path by errant drivers, and, on occasion, you might get so tired, bored, and fed up from your trip, you may decide to just give up and look to another goal.

Imagine that you do decide to travel each dip, bend, valley, mountain, fork, road block and sinkhole, and at each juncture, you find your trek more difficult. But you also find that as you progress along your path, you become stronger and begin to get pieces of ammo not only necessary for making each leg of the journey meaningful and irreplaceable, but for appreciating and caring for that treasure at the end of the long, tough road. You place what you get and learn in the armory of your brain and pull them out as necessary. And what you get along the way, nobody can take from you nor can it be left behind.

Imagine that some days of moving toward your opportunity are slower than others or some days you want the world to stop it’s moving so fast. Some days you may be afraid to take another step for fear it’s the wrong one and you’ll get stuck or grow stagnant. Other days, you know without a doubt you’re moving in the right and righteous direction.

Imagine that to get to the treasure at the end of the road, you must meet the challenges along the way and follow the road in its entirety no matter the conditions. You wouldn’t have to do it alone, God the pilot will usher you there. All you need to remember is that everything on the road, no matter what or who it is, is in your path to equip you for handling the journey on the way and glory at the end.
Sadiqqa © 2007

Every man is born into the world to do something unique and something distinctive and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done.
‑‑ Benjamin E. Mays

Just as no one can steal, or still, your blessings, no one can do your thing in this world for or better than you. Whether you believe it or not, feel it or not, God placed you here for some great purpose, be it big or small in anyone else’s eyes. Possibly you’ve been placed here to show the world what true compassion looks like as you travail each day teaching the children, feeding the hungry, smoothing balm on aches and pains, and offering encouragement to those who’ve lost their way. Perhaps you came to show us how to push past our limits as we watch you gracefully climb over impossible mountains of doubt, swim effortlessly through channels of fear, and shuttle confidently through a universe full of hopelessness. Just maybe your purpose is to be a vessel to anyone who needs a drink.

God gave you hands for serving and a heart for loving. God gave you talents and genius, power and imagination. These gifts were given to you freely, and while others may share your talents, genius, and abilities, you add to them a special and exclusive touch, one that we cannot do without for it helps make the world a better and more interesting place to live in.

Thank you for what you do.

Sadiqqa © 2007

... people can only be who they are. Expecting them to be who we want them to be, or to operate beyond their level of understanding and development, is an exercise in frustration for us and is unfair to them. We’d best accept folks as they are, or let them grow on without us.
-- Susan Taylor

We expect a lot from our partners. We expect them to think like us, to think rationally and sensitively. We expect them to put themselves in our shoes and instinctively know how we’re feeling. We expect them to always be tuned in and available to us whenever we need them.

However, half the time we’re never really sure what we ourselves are thinking, our own perceptions of what is sound and logical are often flawed, we haven’t even attempted to walk in anybody else’s shoes, and most of the time, we aren’t even available to ourselves. But, we expect our honey-loves to be everything we need them to be at all times. Some of us even spend our lives trying to change them into the storybook King or Queen we just know they are dying to be.

In the throes of an everyday relationship, it’s easy to forget that the other person is not your invention that can simply be erased or torn down and put back together in a more suitable form. The person you love is not clay, at least not your clay, to resculpt into another being that is more manageable, amenable, and acceptable. No, this person that you’ve invited into your life to love you already has definite and well-established ideas about how to live and love. That’s not to say that people can’t or don’t change with a little help. But that’s just a nudge, not a twist of the arm or the deployment of manipulative and clever tactics.

At the prelude of every day we love and live with our honeys, we must remember that we and they come from different places of experience, perspective, and awareness. On any given day and time, honey just doesn’t look like you want him or her to look, or honey is not acting the way you think honey should. In that case, your only responsibility is to love them through the differences, talking with them, listening to them, and sharing honestly with one another so that the two of you can find middle ground that makes you sweeter together.

That’s hard work. But it’s much less energy that battling at a game of tug-of-war that can only end in hurt feelings and resentment. Imagine the rewards of letting your honey just Be.

Sadiqqa © 2007

If your tears fall, let ‘em fall. Don’t wipe ‘em no more.
-- Erv Gotti

You’re human. You hurt. Cry.

You’re overjoyed and it feels good to your soul. Cry.

You’re a woman. You’re a man. Cry.

The world bunched your panties in a wad, popped your bra, and has you upside down by the jock strap. Cry.

You don’t have to suck it up and be a big girl about it. You don’t have to hide or numb how you feel. You feel it, it causes pain, you cry.

When the tears run down your face, if they gush like fountains and rivers or trickle like a leaky faucet, whether you’re happy or sad, in public or private, in the right or wrong, let them fall. Don’t wipe them anymore.

Sadiqqa © 2007

I must learn to love the fool in me – the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.
-- Theodore Isaac Rubin

Looking in the mirror and seeing that fine specimen you are is easy to do when your hair is in place, your face is flawless, and your clothes are stylish. It’s easy to blink at that beautiful vision in the mirror when all your bills are paid and there’s still money left over, your health is stellar, you’re well loved, and you’ve conquered that big problem at work and you’re well on your way to a big promotion. But what about the days when you’re not a shining star, the days when your booty does stink? Is the picture in the mirror just as pretty?

So you’re loud. Even your own eardrums pound from the pressure of your voice. Maybe you live inside your head too much, or maybe you share every thought that comes into your head, whether anyone wants to know them or not.

Maybe you fall in love too quickly or love too hard. Maybe you don’t trust yourself enough to open up to love, let alone another human being. Maybe you can love them and leave them, or perhaps you thrive on possessing a lover. Maybe all you really want is someone to take out the trash and keep the yard cut and landscaped. Maybe you’re looking for a love to sink the teeth of your life into.

Maybe you cry a lot, at little things and big, in public and in private. Maybe when you cry, you are a sniveling idiot and nothing calms you until you’ve gotten it all out. Or maybe the last time you shed a tear, you recall being rocked, fed, burped, and changed into a fresh diaper.

Maybe you’re not a card sender though you do think of others often. Maybe you don’t call or return calls or emails as often as others wish you would. Maybe you call and wish others well, even when you don’t know them. Maybe you’re a social genius and everyone else is just lame.

Could be you don’t like people, Christmas, chocolate, or sex. Maybe all you want to do is be around others, eat chocolate, and have sex like every day is Christmas. Perhaps you thrive by your feelings. Or maybe you operate on logic and fact and believe anyone who doesn’t is destined to a life of impracticality and foolishness. Maybe you lie, steal, cheat, overeat, and overspend – usually all in one day. Maybe you’re too honest and have a tendency toward anorexia and Christmas and chocolate turn your stomach more than anything in this world or the next.

Maybe you’re a hoarder or a minimalist; a spender or a saver; artistic or somewhat bland. The truth of the matter is whoever you are, you are who you are and you may as well sit down and get comfortable with that. All of your illogical, reckless, and brainless idiosyncrasies are minced with your sensible and clever habits and together they make you who you are. Perhaps you are made up of extremes, there’s nothing middle ground about you. Maybe you lean more toward this maximum than that one. Or, perhaps you want to refine a trait or diminish one or two so they don’t overshadow the qualities you most admire. But, you are who you are. Accept that.

Others probably have.

Sadiqqa © 2007

The most important elements of any relationship are trust and respect. When you trust someone enough to be honest with them, you grow to respect them and yourself. Where there is trust and respect, intimacy resides. When you are afraid to let others see you exactly as you are, you are bound to lack fulfillment and satisfaction.
-- Iyanla Vanzant

You laid your head on a welcoming lap for a tender hand to caress and comfort it and tell you the world isn’t such a bad place. You can lie there in that lap for as long as you want to and even cry if you need to. You can watch a soothing candle burning in your view and listen to the soft sounds in the background, the sound of guitars and waves on a breezy summer night along a secluded gulf bordering the shores of the Atlantic, or Pacific, or Mediterranean. You can rest assured under the touch of that hand that the world is not such a bad place.

Your favorite meal was prepared and dessert is just around the corner. There are no voices except that of the one caressing your head. In the peaceful quiet, the voice speaks softly to you, saying “I want always to know who you are at every change in your life. Even if who you are becomes someone I don’t understand. Tell me, show me what I need to do or be when you’re in a mood, any mood, when your moods change. Teach me how to love you during your changes.

“You’ve trusted me with you. You’ve put yourself in my hands. I pray to God each day that my hands remain strong so that I can care for you in the ways you need. I love you, every part of you, your habits, both the sane and the insane, your moods and melody. You are a beautiful song. I even love that you turn the toilet tissue this way instead of that way and that you put empty ice trays back in the freezer.

“I love your one hip that’s higher than the other and the stories you tell me about growing up belittling those hips. I love you even more as you share with me the woes of the bewildered journeys you’ve taken just to be the person you are today. I’m listening when you say it wasn’t easy so I can be sure you never have to experience those kinds of difficult times with me. I love laughing with you – remember when we did that crazy thing, how we laughed into the wee hours of the morning? I love you laughing.

“And thank you for not turning me away when I was hurting bad last week. Thanks for being available for me. That meant a lot. You know I’ve never felt at ease letting my guard down, I was always taught not to. You allowed me to spill my fears at your feet and you didn’t judge me or snub me, and you didn’t receive my stuff as though it were a burden to you or our life together. You were kind and open and willing to let me not have to be strong or tough at that moment in my life. You just took my stuff, helped me lay it at the altar, and you prayed for me. Thank you for the way you loved me, the way you loved me through that. It made me feel safe. I’ve never felt so free. Or whole. Or healed.

“This world is not such a bad place with love like this.

“Are you ready for dessert now?”

Sadiqqa © 2007

I don’t have to do it all. I just have to do my thing.
-- Esther Davis-Thompson, MotherLove: Reinventing a Good and Blessed Future for Our Children

Everyday we hear and see things that tug at our hearts and senses. The news headlines racial injustice throughout American cities; hate crimes; rising resentment against immigrants; war in Iraq and Afghanistan; conflicts in Rwanda, Somalia, and Darfur; failing peace talks in the Middle East; melting icebergs, rising sea levels, and global warming; abused children; achievement gaps; illiteracy; Wall Street surges and dives; recalled food; identity fraud; drug trafficking; fires; floods; HIV/AIDS; dirty water; kids in trouble; marriages in trouble; narcissism; and the list goes on. All of this circulates in our minds, gripping pieces and parts of our Souls, revving us to find the cure and solution for all of it. Unfortunately, we’re often left feeling tired, overwhelmed, and hopeless just thinking about it.

Well, you don’t have to do it all. You don’t even have to think about all of it. You are not required to solve all the problems of the world. You are only obligated to do what you can as best you can.

Hmm, that’s worth repeating - you are not required to solve all the problems of the world. You are only obligated to do what you can as best you can.

The key to not becoming overwhelmed and hopeless – sorry, you will get tired – is to take the piece of an issue that you can handle, the portion of it that speaks to you, and do with it what you do best. Use your time and talents to solve a problem in the way that works for you. Perhaps you are most passionate about ending global illiteracy but taking on this large effort is more than you can fathom doing alone. So join one or two of the many volunteer literacy programs in your community and teach a child or adult to read. One drop in the bucket may not seem like a lot, but it’s one more in the bucket toward ending one of the world’s problems.

Maybe world hunger breaks your heart. And just maybe you love to cook. Consider making a few meals for hungry families in your community over the holidays. You may not have fed the globe, but you kept a few people from starvation.

Maybe abused and abandoned children have a soft spot in your heart. Consider adopting or being a foster parent to a child who believes he’ll never have a safe place to call home or a family of his own. Perhaps that’s one less hurting child.

Maybe you sing. Consider using your melodic voice to raise the spirits of the “seasoned” in the nursing centers or teaching children to appreciate real music. Maybe you have the gift of gab. Consider teaching someone how to pray.

You don’t have to save the world. That’s what Jesus came to do. You only have to do what you can with what you have. You can only do what’s in your personal capacity.

This perceived little bit is your opportunity to serve. Serve as you can, who you can, and as best you can. That’ll make the biggest difference in the world.
Sadiqqa © 2007

Call me the Pro-Black militant Grinch or the Ebony Ebenezer Scrooge, but I detest this time of year. This is the time of year that the whole world turns lily white and those that aren’t white wish they were. White Jesus, white Santa, white elves! What’s an Afrocentric brotha to do; pour myself a cup of eggnog and go off singing “I'm dreamin’ of a white Christmas?”
-- Min. Paul Scott

The minister makes a great point, albeit a bit cynical. But where do we African Americans find ourselves during this holiday season?

For starters, we find ourselves in the same places we do during the rest of the year – visibly absent from the mainstream of American life. Nary a commercial, a television show, or movie is about our lives. Okay, a few, but wouldn’t it be nice to see something all the time that has to do with us? If you didn’t know better, you’d think everybody in America was white!

But that’s not a bad thing. To be missing from the dumb stuff is good. To not be caught up in the tabloids, that’s good. To not have our laundry aired on national television, that’s even better. But to be overlooked and disregarded during this blessed time of the year, well, that’s just not cool.

But although it’s not cool, it’s okay. What’s important to us, to all, at this time of year are the blessings in the season – the opportunities to spend time with family and friends, giving gifts from the heart, thinking about a new year to come. Even bigger than all that is the birthday of our Lord and Savior who, without Him, we’d all be living under an old covenant, absent of mercy and atonement for the stupid stuff we do, which is the stuff that shows up on television. What’s most important about this season is not missing. Jesus is the reason for the season.

So no matter how many “white” Christmas we see on television, hear on the radio, or see walking down the street, remember the season is greater than what you see or who you don’t see. The season is bigger than all that. His name is Jesus.
Sadiqqa © 2007

People (both black and white) feel as though black women can’t accomplish much because there is no father in the home. What American society fails to realize is that black women have led single households since slavery. Our families have been torn apart since our arrival here, but it hasn’t stopped us from producing senators, congressmen, presidential candidates, secretaries of state, doctors, lawyers, accountants, engineers, authors, internationally renowned artists, presidents of major American companies, and strong black women and men.
-- Dolly C. Turner

National statistics indicate that single-parent homes are increasingly on the rise and that by 2010, we can expect for most children to have lived in a single-parent home at least some part of their lives. These statistics also point out that many of the children living in lone-parent homes, particularly those led by females, suffer a grave injustice as they are more susceptible to poverty, school and health problems, and are more likely to not get along well with others. While these statistics and summations are generalizations, they are held as fact by most of America, even some of you reading this “Thought...,.”

But, and mind you that is one of the strongest buts you’ll read today, where love, loving discipline, structure, and unconditional regard for one another exist in a home – whether that home is led by one parent or two – there is a successful and thriving family, and family, whatever the make and number, is what sustains and protects any child.

Living in a single-parent household does not necessarily compromise how well prepared children are for school. Living in a single-parent household does not mean a child is destined for jail or a life on the streets. Living in a single-parent household does not mean a child or his or her parent is doomed to destitution, depravity, or cycles and repeat episodes of single parenthood. Sure, there may be days where there are only pennies to spend and bills piled higher than high because there’s only one income. There maybe reckless boy children who crave more attention of any kind so they act out in response, or girl children who have jagged edges that cry out to be shaped and covered by the presence and love of a father in the household. But where the loving arms of a family take over – where people are important to each other and offer each other love and support; where each member listens, observes, and asks questions; where everybody gets to share their fears, angers, resentments, joys, and concerns without fear of being ridiculed or rejected; where each person can reach out for support from extended family, friends, churches, and strong neighborhood networks; where each person knows and is regularly in touch with God and their spirituality – the greater the likelihood that a single family flourishes.

Look back at our history, even look as close as your neighbors or your own family. Single-parent families are not tragedies or examples for fatalistic statistics. They are families, families that are full of love, affection, and strong bonds that grow through and because of every glitch and hardship. Some single-parent households might even have the advantage of a grandparent in the household. How’s that for richness?

Certainly the statistics should not be denied. Some single-parent families do have more problems and are in need of more help. But, then, how does that make them any different from some two-parent families that also struggle to make the bills, put food on the table, and keep their kids from failing school?
Sadiqqa © 2007

You can’t ask to start over just because you’re losing the game.
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, “Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”

It’s your turn to kick the ball. The bases are loaded, there’s one out, and your teammates are counting on you. The pitcher, the big burly kid from around the way, looks at you with a scowl, his most menacing scowl, the one that usually makes you flinch. Ah, but this time, you’re not giving his scowl any attention. This time you’re determined to kick that ball right over everybody’s head and bring your team home and to victory. This time, you’re going to kick that ball high and wide, not like last time 2 times when you kicked the ball directly behind your head then stomped off the kickball field and went home. No, this time, you’re going to kick that ball well.

Okay, so here comes the ball. Ooh, look at that spin on that red rubber ball! Look at the dirt and rock it’s kicking up! You can hear the rubber of the ball spinning and burning as it’s coming your way! The last 2 times the ball was coming at you like that, you called a time-out and swore you had a rock stuck in the bottom of your Chuck Taylor All-Stars that was making your foot hurt. This time, though, there are no rocks to give your attention to. You’ve got to kick the ball.

You set your eye on that fast ball, get your kick stance ready, and start a little run up on the ball, kicking up some dirt of your own. You position your body so that your aim is straight for the mean muggers head; you want to knock him out – even though the last 2 times you aimed at him, you ended up flat on your butt with dust circling your head. This time, he better be ready because the ball’s coming straight for him.

Suddenly the kickball spins on a rock that causes it to bounce and change direction. Good, you get another chance. This time you decide that instead of aiming for the scowler or kicking it in the outfield over everybody’s head, you’ll just make it a grounder, a fast one, that’ll burn anybody’s hand that tries to stop it. That’ll give you some time to at least make it to first base and send one of your teammates home. But then, the last 2 times you tried to ground the ball, one was bunt that mean menace caught and happily threw at your butt; the other landed in a muddy ditch which the team made you go get. This time, though, you’ll have more control with your grounder and make everybody have to jump over it until it slows down.

You’re back in kick position. Here comes the ball! You start your dusty run! POW! The ball flies way into the outfield! Everybody’s watching just where the ball will go, everybody except you. You’ve taken off. You touch the sticks at 1st base, the smashed tin cans at 2nd base, and just as you get ready to head for the bricks at 3rd base, the ball is back in the infield and you decide you better stay on 2nd. The last time you made it this far, you thought you’d chance it and make a run for 3rd, but you got caught in the middle of the 2 bases and burned for 20 minutes after the 2nd baseman threw the ball at your chest. This time you’ll stay on base until you’re sure you can make it to 3rd. At least you brought 2 of your teammates home.

The next kicker bunts the ball, gets a foul, then gets out and pouts back to the curb, cussing everybody that’s in his way. You know what he’s feeling. He hears the jeers and blame and feels really bad about himself. You know this because the last 7 times you did the same thing and everybody heckled you, you felt the same way. But you don’t have a lot of time to think on it because the next kicker’s up and he kicks the ball into the infield. You have enough time to run to 3rd base. You stop there, one foot on the bricks another headed in the direction of home. You can’t wait to make your grand entrance into the backpack that serves as home. The next kicker grounds it and mean mugger stops it with his foot, looks at you, and dares you to move. The last time you took the dare, you tripped over your shoe laces, scratched up both knees and an elbow, swallowed some dirt, and got out. This time, you’ll stay put.

The bases are loaded and there are 2 outs. The street lights begin to flicker so you know this is the last run of the game. The kicker eyes the bases. Scowler checks out the bases. You call a time-out to tie your shoes. When you finish and get back in position, scowler rolls the ball with as much force and fierceness as he can. The kicker sends it into the outfield, you take off to homebase and the other runners follow. You are overjoyed! You made it! This is the first time you’ve ever made it! You played a good game. You played with strategy, awareness, and thoughtfulness. You are very proud of yourself as you make it to your porch just as the streetlights come all the way on.

So, what’s the point?

Who knows?

But it was just a helluva kickball game!

Sadiqqa © 2007

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
-- Maya Angelou

Each of us is a survivor of something. Our forebearers, be they Africans, Italians, Cubans, Jews, Mexicans, Native Americans or whomever, survived the ride to and/or living in this country. Daily we survive bigotry and racism, media slander and outright abuse. Every day women survive misogyny, men survive misandry, and all of us survive misanthropy. Each of us has endured hurtful relationships, betrayal, dishonesty, anger, and loneliness. Some of us have lived on through bad or missed medical and emotional diagnosis; others of us have lived on through miseducation and faulty information. Each of us has survived the passing away of loved ones. We’ve each survived an overabundance of stuff that had the potential to stain our souls and break our backs. We are, no doubt, survivors.

But after we survived, we did even more – we lived to tell about it. And each time we told our story, we grew, blossomed, peaked, shined, and matured.

Think on the slave and holocaust narratives that provide first-hand accounts of the experience of bondage and genocide, and how each of these stories acquaints us with unimaginable struggle and torment. Imagine that each time a story was told, its teller found solace, rest, and peace as they released the words and memories of their experiences and that each narrative told was purposefully shared to implore and instruct us to live free and well. Each storyteller lives on as we read and reflect on their chronicles and gain or renew our strength and courage to do just what they hoped for us. Through us, they not only survived, they thrived.

After surviving the Jim Crow era, living through inferior treatment and accommodations, we prospered, owning our own homes and businesses and teaching our children more than survival ways of thinking and behaving. And though we’ve sweat and oftentimes gotten off center, possibly our ancestors are proud of and avenged by our increase. Likewise, despite our disheartening efforts at love and relationships, despite the emotional bashings we’ve received by trusting in one another, we’ve remained steadfast in our attempts to find and be in love. We’ve suffered disappointing experiences and their fateful aftermath, yet we’ve not given up on love because we knew to do so would be a casualty, an act of unmitigated personal and communal betrayal, an overthrowing of the resilience within us. Instead, we’ve trusted and given of ourselves again, each time growing a little more, shaking off the bruises, and rising a little higher.

We’re thrivers, not just survivers. We haven’t just lived to see another day and whatever that day brings. We know how to find the joy and blessings in that day because survival taught us there was more to living than just getting by, that there was grace when we got over the hump, and the lessons to be learned and taught would sustain and perpetuate us and those we touched. At this very hour, each of us can shout and sing for not only making it through, but for flourishing after the fires and storms of our lives. We are even more beautiful because we survived.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Can’t sleep? Try counting your blessings.
-- Author Unknown

Not that counting your blessings would put you to sleep. As a matter of fact, you may find yourself getting up from the bed to do a halleluiah dance!

First, that you have a bed to lay your head in is a blessing in itself. The National Coalition for the Homeless estimates that there are more than three million homeless people in America, people who have no restful or personal bed of their own. And the borrowed and provisional beds or pallets they have don’t live in a warm and comfortable home. Your bed is housed in a home that is your own, surrounded by other stuff that’s yours too. You may be renting or your mortgage may be sky high, you may even feel you’re a paycheck close to making a pallet on the street for yourself, but right now, you have a place to call home and lie in a bed that’s all yours. Count those blessings.

What about the meal you ate for dinner. It may have been from the greasy fast food joint down the street; it may have been leftovers; it may have been gourmet. Whatever it was, you had a meal that many didn’t have. According to America’s Second Harvest, the nation’s food bank network, in 2005, 35.1 million Americans lived in food insecure, or hungry, households. And you, unlike many of these people, don’t have to choose between a meal and other necessities like rent, mortgage, medicine, or medical care. You make enough money and have enough insurance to cover those costs. Count all those blessings. And, by the way, did you wait awhile, at least 2 hours, before you ate and went to bed? You know undigested food will wrap around you like gauze and strip you of some of your blessings very quickly, right?

And, speaking of making enough money, you do, don’t you? Okay, at least enough to handle the necessities, maybe even buy and save a little extra. You have a job, maybe it’s the one you want, maybe it’s less than to be desired. Nonetheless you have income. Count the fact that you have choices – you can choose to stay at your present job or you can find a new one, possibly create your own job. And you can do that because you have the skills and knowledge you need to find the information and resources to make that happen. As a matter of fact, you have blueprints of an idea that could work if you would take it off the paper and go with it. The fact is you have options that make never being penniless feasible for the rest of your life. Wow, count that blessing!

Most importantly, count the fact that you have life a blessing, and that with this life you can do anything you desire. Anything! You can climb a mountain. You can teach a kid. You can clothe a nation. You can sing butt naked in the park on a sunny afternoon. You may be stared at, chased, or arrested but you can do it if you want to. You can do whatever you want. And by now, you’ve counted so many blessings, those named here and those between the lines, that you’re either sleepy from thinking, tired from all the energy you expended in your prayer dance, or Jesus has stroked you to sleep in preparation for another day of blessings to come. Whatever your state, you’ve been blessed. Go ahead and sleep now.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Here’s the horse – what happened to the prince?
-- Mother Love, “Listen Up, Girlfriends”

A long time ago, most of us – at least the ladies – heard about the tales of the knight who would ride in on his white horse to rescue us from the evil queen, place a jeweled crown on our head, then lead us into happily ever after. Sometimes we heard that tall, dark, and handsome would come along and sweep us off our feet giving us the world in return for simple affection. A few of us were told that after we kissed a few frogs a prince would surely appear and be forever indebted to us for helping to restore his true greatness.

Well, somebody lied ‘cause it’s a whole bunch of us just sitt’n on the curb, wait’n. And most of us been doused so badly in frog juice that even if tall, dark, and handsome did show up, he wouldn’t stay long ‘cause of the stench stuck to us. Even the evil queen left us alone!

What in the hell happened?! We fell hook, line, and sinker for the Cinderella and Snow White dreams, didn’t we? We really thought our private dick, oops, detective Shaft was going to show up in his ‘71 Plymouth Satellite Sebring and whisk us off to wherever our hearts desired.

Now, that’s not to say that some of us didn’t find our prince charming. As a matter of fact, quite a few of us reading this “Thought...” have sought and found a few jewels and those of us still holding out hope applaud you in your feat and want to know where we need to go to get our treasure.

Oh, and brothers, don’t think you are exempt from the tales. Somebody – that same somebody who sold us ladies on the fairy tales – told you that the love of your life would be less than 130 pounds, have long flowing hair, and should defer to your demands and requests. You got jacked, too!

Okay, so what’s real? Listen up, girlfriends – your man may ride in on a horse and provide the things your heart needs and desires. What if his horse comes from his farm? At least you know he’s relatively self-sufficient – he can grow and raise his own food.

And brothers, listen up – what if she weighs more than you do, has hair shorter than yours, and walks to the beat of her own drum but makes you feel like you always knew you could feel about love and life? Would she be your queen?

Get real, let go of the fantasies ‘cause they keep tripping you up. Pay attention to the guy down the street who may not have a corporate job and may not exercise the social graces or sophistication you think he should. He has a heart of gold and treasures every breath you take. So what if you can’t carry her across the threshold without losing your balance. It’s a guarantee you’ve got someone to stand up with you when times get tough. Perhaps once you’ve let go of the fairy stories you may find that you have standing next to you your noble knight or beloved queen.

Sadiqqa © 2007

No matter how challenging our lives may seem, life will never be as tough for us as it was for our parents and the preceding generations.
-- Susan Taylor

Few of us reading this “Thought…,” had to ride the back of the bus or drink from the “Negroes only” water fountains. Fewer of us were denied the right to vote, deprived of a fair and equal education, or had to sharecrop to live. None of us experienced the back-breaking, mind-stealing reigns of slavery, or traveling prostrate in chains and our own feces from one continent to another against our will. None of us can even imagine carrying a big-a crucifix on our backs that is at least twice our weight then hung from it and left to die for somebody else’s wrongs.

So what’s our problem?

Well, yeah, we’ve still got other issues. We live with a justice system that levies penalties and punishments on us like the sun rises and sets. We depend on an educational system to teach our children and that system doesn’t even tolerate or accommodate the viewpoints, perceptions, or special needs of our children. And we are bound by a flawed political system, a democracy that ignores and discounts the unprivileged and disenfranchised people it was established to serve and protect. But if we keep the irons in the fire and our Selves at the altar, we can manage, change, or overcome all that.

So, what’s our problem? Most of us have access to healthcare that can save our lives. Most of us make enough money to take care of ourselves and our families. Most of us work at jobs in which we are competent and that provide some sense of satisfaction and pride. Most of us lay our heads down each evening in a safe and comfortable domicile.

Face it, we’re privileged. We don’t have to march and picket and boycott too much these days. Most of the time if we just vote or visit the capitol hills, union halls, or NAACPs of our cities, we get what we need. Sometimes we have to do a little bit more to be heard or taken seriously but, for the most part, we’ve pretty much got it made in the shade.

But while we do enjoy some privileges, and even though we don’t have the same challenges our parents endured, we can’t sit on our laurels and think that we’ve so got it made that we forget how far we’ve come and then fail to teach and prepare our children to make things better than they are. We’ve got to teach our children to require more, to expect the best when they do their best, and to keep a fighting spirit alive within. We’ve got to be sure our babies find their voice and know how to use it for the maintenance and progression of our community and the world at large. Each of us must be sure our children understand who they are, why they are, and what they are expected to return to the earth. These things we must teach for it was these things we were taught by those who came before us.

So while we are much better off than our parents and their parents, to rest now, kick our feet up, and teach no more is suicide and a slap in the face to our foreparents.

Sadiqqa © 2007

What are you waiting for? With all you say you want, there is a dream for you to follow; a goal for you to set; a plan for you to make; a project for you to begin; an idea for you to act on; a possibility for you to explore; an opportunity for you to grab; a choice for you to make. If not, you shouldn’t have anything to talk about.
-- Iyanla Vanzant

In other words, pee, or get off the pot! Don’t just think about what can happen, what needs to be done, or what you figure you can do. Do it!

So there are obstacles that seem larger than life. Analyze them. Break them apart little by little. Climb and conquer them one by one. Move on.

So you’ve got naysayers in both ears. Hear them. Hear them not. Weigh what they say. Squash them and prove ‘em wrong. Shut them up.

So you’re afraid of failing, succeeding, losing, being wrong, getting hurt. Acknowledge your fear. Feel it in your bones. Pick it apart, douse it with water, smother its fire. Ride with your fear, ride it out of here, then do the damn thing anyway.

In other words, pee, or get off the pot. What are you waiting for?

Sadiqqa © 2007

Each of us has the right and responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, the we need to gather our resolve, and carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well.
-- Maya Angelou

If you don’t like where you are, there’s no reason you have to stay there, right?

Okay, how about this – if you have no idea where you want to go or what you want to do, you don’t have to stay confused. Right?

Yes, that’s right. But then, the question becomes how do you go about figuring out what you want and what road you take to get there. How do you sift through all you think you want, through all you know to find an answer? Is it okay to put some of what you want and know on the shelf and just go for this one thing right here right now? Then, are you abandoning some stuff? What if you shelve the wrong thing? What if later you take something off the shelf, will it still be okay? Or will it have expired and no longer be of use?

How do you rattle through your everyday routine of making this end meet that end, caring for yourself and your vast responsibilities, and move beyond what’s comfortable, stable, dependable, and ordinary to step off the road to another direction? How do you wake up from a long, monotonous slumber? By an alarm clock that signals boredom and fatigue? One that rings loudly to tell you your life is passing you by? An alarm clock that rings the same way it did yesterday morning and the sound you hear is the wake up call that says your comfortable life is a downer and you’re just as dull as your life?

How so you move forward without grasping at straws, trying this thing, spending that time and that dime, taking 2 steps back for every chance you take? Or, how do you move forward without doubting and finding every reason to stay put? How do you take a chance, even when you’re afraid? Do you dissect and face every thing you fear, or do you chalk the panic and apprehension up to commonsense and sanity? Do commonsense and sanity then keep you stagnant and stuck where you are?

Or do commonsense and sanity make you ask yourself right and righteous questions and help you keep all that’s important to you in perspective while you seek new directions and opportunities? Do you resolve that just because you prefer reason over spontaneity, it doesn’t mean you don’t want excitement?

Do you then define excitement as enthusiasm, enthusiasm about something more than what you already know, something out of the ordinary, something off the beaten and worn path, and then determine that some area of your life will be immediately submitted and exposed to excitement, enthusiasm, adventure, and inspiration and that there’s nothing stopping you at this moment from finding it and doing whatever the thing is that can bring you joy or difference or positive change in your life? Don’t you then, at that very moment, no longer feel stuck? Less confused?

Then, it is right. You don’t have to stay where you are.

Sadiqqa © 2007

The essential message of unconditional love is one of liberation: you can be whoever you are, express all your thoughts and feelings with absolute confidence. You do not have to be fearful that love will be taken away. You will not be punished for your openness or honesty. There is no admission price to my love, no rental fees or installment payments to be made. There may be days when disagreements and disturbing emotions may come between us. There may be times when psychological or physical miles may lie between us. But I have given you the word of my commitment. I have set my life on a course. I will not go back on my word to you. So feel free to be yourself, to tell me of your negative and positive reactions, of your warm and cold feelings. Unconditional Love means that I cannot always predict my reaction or guarantee my strength, but one thing is certain: I am committed to your growth and happiness. I will always accept you. I will always love you!
-- Anonymous

I give you me, for I shared my hopes and my joys with you and you listened. I shared my sorrows and my fears and you didn’t taunt me or turn away. My secrets stayed between us, my fantasies were not bantered. When my moods were sour and my tongue curt, you waited. When I clawed and kicked at you, you waited again. When I ignored you or searched for something I thought was better, you waited, and waited some more. Thank you, thank you for waiting for me.

I give you my heart, the place where you’ve lived; my mind, the place that you work. I give you my ears to hear all that you say. I give you my eyes to take in all that you present. My hands will forever be held out to you, and they will forever care for you. I will walk in your direction as you lead us through our days, and I’ll show you the way when it’s my time to navigate. I’ll be your advocate, your audience, your devotee.

I give you me for I trust you with me. I feel safe in your care and completely loving in your charge. I embrace the freedom of loving you for I am free to love you and you only. I am free to express the extent of my love for you. I am free to dig within the depths of my love and bring out its treasures just for you. I am free to uncover my veiled passion and shower you with its effects. I am free to love you because you’ve loved me openly, patiently, slowly and endlessly. I promise you the same time, patience, gentleness, and devotion you’ve given me. For you, I am wholeheartedly and unconditionally yours.

I give you me to understand and accept our differences. I accept them and grow into them, expecting that we will have uncomfortable moments, and we’ll probably retreat into our separate worlds. But we’ll be okay and return to one another. I acknowledge that we have independent lives, our own friends, our own ways of viewing the world. But we’ll be okay and we’ll always return to one another. I’ll return to you each day so that we can begin a new day of understanding and acceptance together.

I give you me, unconditionally.

Sadiqqa © 1998

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.
-- Thomas Edison

Ever wonder where you’d be and what you’d be doing if you didn’t doubt yourself so much, punch holes in your every idea, or second guess yourself in every other breath? Do you think if can’t, won’t, and shouldn’t weren’t the main characters of your conversations or in your mind, maybe you could move beyond stuck?

What if you really believed in yourself, in your capabilities, and you could cheer yourself on even when the tasks felt too big or too difficult? What if you trusted yourself enough to exercise and stand on your abilities and resources, moving about this life with certainty and confidence, only hesitating to make sure you had everything you needed to make it all go well? What if you loved yourself over your questions?

What if you could see yourself the way God sees you?

If only you could give up comfortable or doing just enough to get by. If only you could give up being afraid to live on the radar. What if you could give up living in the box, going with the flow, following the routine, doing it the way it’s always been done, and living another day just like yesterday? What if you weren’t so afraid to allow others to see the real you?

What if you weren’t afraid to speak up? Of not having all the answers when asked? Of losing? Of not having enough? Of being alone? Of looking stupid? Of all that would be asked of you? What if you weren’t afraid of working hard and long only to get tired and disappointed?

What if you actually talked with the scary looking kids standing on the corner? What if you went ahead and took that test you’ve been putting off to go back to school? What if you told her you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her? What if she then said “yes?”

What if you just trusted that when you gave all you had it would all be alright?

The truth is there’s nothing stopping you from doing any and all of what you’re capable of doing. That is, nothing but you. You’re the one standing in your way. Now, granted, someone or something may have thwarted your confidence long ago with their pessimism and disapproval, and they made you believe you couldn’t accomplish anything you set your mind to. But now, you have the power to erase that and move on. You may need to seek professional assistance and enlist the help of Jesus when your doubt is too cumbersome and back-breaking. But, certainly if you want to do better than just the little bit you’ve done, you’ve no choice but to get rid of the doubts and move out the way.

Are you living your life halfway? What’s the point of that?

Sadiqqa © 2007

Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.
-- Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC

On any given day, children in schools and throughout neighborhoods are bullied. The U.S. Department of Justice reports that 1 out of every 4 children is bullied and that such bullying is mental, verbal, and physical. Our natural inclination is to either jack the bullies up by their collars or support the victims by infusing them with skills and strategies that will keep them from getting bullied. However, research indicates that a multidimensional approach is better, one that includes constructively activating and engaging all the bystanders silently and unresponsively watching the violence. Teaching bystanders – other kids, teachers, and parents – intervention skills is critical to maintaining learning and living environments that are safe, caring, and optimal places for our children to grow into conscientious citizens. Bystanders are key to creating these environments by acting in ways that will alleviate pressure and violence.

Likewise, each of us experience incidents of bullying in our adult worlds, and like our children, most of us don’t have the skills of intervention to make the bullying stop. In many cases the bullying, or discrimination and harassment, we experience is monstrous and just punishing the bullies or using our coping skills to protect ourselves from the bullies is ineffective. We still run or hide when the bullies come looking for us. As with our kids, the oppressive incidents we need to fight require each and every one of us who stand by be galvanized, organized, and in motion to defeat the bullies we face.

Never in more that 40 years have the tyrants we face today been more bold in repudiating justice. Never have they been more indifferent to our call for fairness and decency. Our bullies are overt and in our faces as they place our children in jail on vindictive charges, disregard blatant acts of hate, disparage working single mothers, and feel free to bombard us with self-serving, paternalistic, fundamentalist beliefs and babble. And while many of the incidents are not directly inflicted upon us, if it happens to one of us, it can happen to each of us. Thus, it is imperative that we not just watch it happen. We who are watching from the sidelines must do something.

But what do we do and how can we do it?

So glad you asked. First, we’ve got to join arms. We have to know the fights were up against require more than one, two, or a few people carrying the signs, making the speeches, and marching down the street. The fights we’re fighting require numbers, large numbers. And even if we don’t agree on every point, we’ve still got to stand united; there’ll be time enough for whittling down the fine points. There is strength in numbers; they can make a difference and positively impact the outcome of an issue.

Next, we must tell the bully to stop. Firmly and clearly we must tell our oppressors that what they are doing is unacceptable and they must discontinue the crap they’re doing at once. Bring out the facts, quote them correct and impassive theory and law.

Then, we do what we’ve done – support, encourage, and comfort the victim. We’ve been to Jena, we’ve been to DC, and now we’re going to the Louisiana state capital to appeal to the Governor on behalf of our children. We act as “villages” to all the children in the community, and we counter the erroneous beliefs and babble about our lives with our truth in song and spoken word. We’ve done a great job at supporting those who are hurting.

Lastly, we need to make sure we tell on the bully. Tell a person of authority. Because the D.A. and judge in Jena wouldn’t stop, would not listen, would not be reasonable, we told Congress and Congress ate some assets out and called for an investigation of federal and state judicial system practices.

None of these steps is easy and so many of us will choose, have chosen, to stay on the sidelines out of complacency and fear of retaliation. After all, who among us wants a noose on our doorknob?

However, in order for our children to be more than victims and bystanders, in order for them to experience and enjoy the fullness of life, we must be examples of conquerors. Each of us must take positive action to end the injustices perpetrated upon us by standing up to the brutes that try to intimidate and disenfranchise us. We owe it to our children to make the bullying stop.

We owe it to our children.

Get equipped. Act now.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Take each day as it comes.
-- Author Unknown

But, what if each day comes with illness and pain?

What if each day comes with confusion and heartache?

What if each day of your life is filled with so much of what you don’t want, you hate to see a new one turn over?

You still must take life one day at a time, no matter where your life stands. With each day, you must live in the moments and do the best that you can with each of them. You can’t live tomorrow today and you can’t go back to yesterday. All you have is today and right now.

If right now you’re living with pain, make a conscious decision to enjoy life anyway. Distract yourself from your pain, tell it to kiss your assets. Do some relaxation therapy like meditation or visual imagery – you can imagine yourself at this very moment free of pain, carefree, on the beach, butterball naked, can’t you?

If taking each day as it comes means that at this very moment you have to suffer through a broken heart, so be it. Grieve your loss. Whether it be the loss of someone you loved through death or a broken relationship or the loss of your human faculties, feel your feelings and think them through; don’t run from them or deny them, call the hurt and anger what it is. Then, do something for somebody else; love on yourself, and spend time with friends and family who make you laugh and feel good about living.

As you take each day as it comes, some days, even lots of days, may not be so good, but you can’t rush your life, this day, or this moment. They come as they come and they’ll go no faster than they’re supposed to. Live each day patiently, slowly, purposefully, and in God’s grace, even when they are less than you like.

Sadiqqa © 2007

I wasn’t as smart then as I am now. But who ever is?
-- Tina Turner

A long time ago, say, maybe 25 years ago, you wore the infamous Jheri Curl. Every 6 weeks or so you chemically loosened your tight curls with a cold wave kit, set them with another chemical on perm rollers, added yet another chemical to keep the curl in, poured on some SoftSheen Care Free Curl® activator, slept in a plastic bag every night, damaged several collars beyond repair, and avoided at all times being without an 8 ounce bottle of $6 curl activator. Today, your hair has recovered. It’s grown back after being lost to breakage, the texture is again pliable, and hardly anybody remembers the bald spots. The repair only took 15 years. Thank God you only wore that curl for 5 years!

Remember in high school how fine you thought his bow legs and strut were, how you believed it was cool the way he acted loud-mouthed with the teachers and some of the adults in the neighborhood, and how you felt special when he commented on the size of your butt and breasts thinking he actually noticed you? Remember when you and he finally went out and his boys seemed to come out of nowhere eyeing you like buzzards, licking their lips, and asking you for a “chance?” Remember how you pulled out your mace and whistle as they started to pull on your clothes? You still cringe when you see a pack of guys together, but now at least you’re able to discern what’s really cool. And, at last check, bow-legged and belligerent won’t be back on the streets until 2032.

Last week, she asked you if she looked fat in those pants. Of course you weren’t born yesterday so you tell her, “No, baby. You actually look great.” Feeling proud of yourself for coming up with such a quick and considerate response, you continue to pour praise and great compliments on her. She’s warmed by the admiration and wants to treat you to dinner at your favorite 5-star restaurant. When you prepare to leave, she’s wearing the pants she asked you about, looking all but slim and sexy. With a grimace on your face you said, “You’re wearing those?”

Perhaps a more honest response would have served you better. How’s your soup this week?

We’re all party to things we wished we hadn’t said or done, things that seem so beyond stupid now, things we wish we could do all over again. But, you can’t, and life does go on. We learn from our mistakes, and hopefully we learn to do things better, with more sense, and much more prudence.

Sadiqqa © 2007

To gauge your level of self-love, all you have to do is ask yourself, what have my romantic relationships been like? If your answer is that you’re currently in a committed, mutually satisfying relationship, you rate high on the scale of self-love. If you have a pattern of picking relationships that have been abusive and demeaning, or if you’ve thought that most of the men who cared about you were “boring” or “losers,” that too says a lot about how you feel about yourself. If you haven’t been in a committed relationship at all, or if you’ve convinced yourself that you “shouldn't even bother getting out of the house because there is no one out there,” that’s a sign that you’re creating scarcity for yourself because you feel unworthy of love.
-- Brenda L. Richardson and Brenda Wade, What Mama Couldn't Tell Us About Love

Perhaps when you find it difficult to open your heart to receive your honeylove, barring other adverse reasons, it could be a sign that you don’t feel worthy enough to receive that honey and all he or she has to give and share with you. Maybe you don’t feel emotionally capable of maintaining the relationship. Maybe you don’t love yourself enough to love another.

Or, maybe that honey’s just not your type.

While an inability to cultivate and maintain a loving and committed relationship can speak to a lack of self-love, perhaps an even more thorough gauge of determining your load of self-love can be found in the way you treat your career, finances, physical and mental health, and other important aspects of your life. Think about your job. Did you get to work on time today? Did you spend an unreasonable amount of time on the email sending jokes and chain mails? Have you spent most of the morning talking about your weekend, catching up on everybody else’s, and gossiping about the co-worker that everybody habitually talks about? All of these are a reflection on you, your work ethic, and your character. If you have love for your Self, you’ve gone above and beyond the normal call to set yourself apart from the rest of the latecomers and break room chatterers.

Is your checkbook always out of balance? Are you always paying bank fees for insufficient funds? Do you check your account online everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day? Don’t you owe it to the Self you love to make and keep your finances in order? You don’t want to end up penniless, do you? That wouldn’t honor the Self you know and love.

And what about your physical health? How’s your weight? Are you eating healthy foods? Is everything internal working as it should? Have you been to the doctor for a check-up lately? Have you been to the dentist? And your mental health? What do you do to preserve it? Do you take a day off just to rest and replenish, thinking of nothing but rest while you’re taking off. Do you laugh, have some fun? Do you seek professional psychological help when you feel the need to? Are you loving your Self enough to acknowledge when you’re not doing these things then scheduling the necessary appointments to take care of your Self?

Self-love is more than lighting scented candles, taking a warm aromatherapy baths, drinking chamomile tea, and relaxing. Those are just the icing, or maybe the bandages. Self-love is examining recurrent patterns of neglect and scarcity in your life, getting to the root cause of those feelings and events, then making plans to rectify where you’re lacking. It is only after your issues, circumstances, and situations have been examined and you tell your Self some hard truths, forgiving your Self, coming up with viable resolutions for change, and realizing that each and every person in this world is looking for real ways to love and appreciate themselves, that you can burn a candle, take a sweet-smelling bath, and relax.

George Benson (and the old Whitney) sang that the greatest love of all was learning to love yourself. Until you can do that, not only will your life remain lonely and chaotic, you’ll keep chasing your tail trying to figure out why it’s always bruised.

Sadiqqa © 2007

It ain’t nothing to find no starting place in the world. You just start from where you find yourself.
-- August Wilson

And where you find yourself is perhaps where you’re supposed to be.

Think about it, right now you are where you are because of the path you’ve chosen. Maybe that path was ordained by God; maybe you chose that path because it was the easiest choice to make. Whatever the reason for the path, that’s the one you’re on. And, quite possibly, the laws of God’s universe require that you be on at this path at this point in your life.

You have the job you’re supposed to have right now. The honeylove in your life is who you’re supposed to be with right now. The circumstances and situations you’re in right now are those meant for you right now. Why? Who knows? Maybe it’s another law – the law of nothing in this world being by coincidence. Everything is on purpose and right now the things that are happening with you are happening on purpose because that’s the way life goes.

Now whether where you are is a good place or a station you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy is not the issue, though some of those desperate places you’re in are because of the enemy. The issue is that at each moment you have the opportunity to stay where you are, churning and thrashing water, chasing your tail, and making circles in the dust, or you can start over, start fresh, start something new. But even in staying still or starting over, whichever you choose, it’s the thing that’s supposed to be happening.

Perhaps you find that thought disconcerting and you feel your efforts powerless, even inconsequential. Perhaps the thought is liberating and frees you to think conscientiously about every juncture of your life so that you can make the most of it. However you feel, know it’s always your choice to move or stay still. But, whatever your choice, it is right where you are supposed to be.

Sadiqqa © 2007

If we would trust life and ourselves a little more, we would do what comes naturally, what we are good at, giving it all that we’ve got. If we would stop looking for fame and fortune we might find we are sitting on a goldmine of ideas and abilities. If we would stop blaming others and being ashamed of ourselves, there would be no way we could expect or accept anything less than the best from ourselves and for ourselves. If we would stop chasing castles in the sky and do what we can do, where we are, the world would probably appreciate it and reward us greatly.
-- Iyanla Vanzant

Go ‘head, dare you.

Dare you today to be void of pretense and posturing. Dare you to drop the façade, the public image, the outward show. Dare you to be who you are uncovered and bare, raw and unfettered, uninhibited and natural. Dare you to be honest, wide open, forthcoming, and available. Dare you to be simple, uncomplicated, and stress-free. Dare you to be real.

Double dare you right now to be dream big, bigger, as big as you can, then build. Double dare you to trust yourself, step out on your trust, and make your dreams come true. Double dog dare you to go get what you want.

Super double dog dare you to not be afraid of yourself, your ambitions, your obstacles. Super double dog dare you to conquer the obstacles and turn them into opportunities to get better, brighter, faster, stronger, tougher, cleverer, and higher.

Dare you to lead the way, be a pioneer, set the trail to blaze. Dare you to make a difference. Dare you to shape the solution that solves the problem. Quadruple dare you to keep us alive, make us safe, and keep us feeling whole. Dare you in epic proportions to love us even when we’re unlovable, especially when we’re unlovable.

Go ‘head, dare you.

Sadiqqa © 2007

People misunderstand happiness. They think it’s the absence of trouble. That’s not happiness, that’s luck. Happiness is the ability to live well alongside trouble.
-- Rachel Kadish, Tolstoy Lied: A Love Story

Have you ever thought that as soon as you get through this thing you’re going through, this thing you’ve been going through for a very long time, this thing that just never seems to be different or go away – have you ever thought that as soon as it does, you’ll be happy?

Have you thought that perhaps what you’re going through means you can’t be, shouldn’t be happy? So you walk around always worried, always grumpy, never having fun, always wishing this thing would go away so that you can find yourself some happiness and fulfillment? You’re miserable and depressed, the people around you don’t want to be around you because you’re always irritable and complaining, and there seems to be no end to your troubles or your sour moods. You wait for your turn, looking for the rainbow, all the while moping around and wishing for a different set of circumstances. If only you could be happy, you think.

The truth of the matter is you can be happy. There’s no reason for you to be walking around God’s green earth unhappy and denying yourself opportunities to be happy. Without a doubt life can be hard and confusing and can have you caught in a wringer at any time. But even when despair seems to be your only friend, happiness is merely a breath away.

It comes down to thinking of your situation differently than you normally would, of looking at a larger picture of your life than the one you’re currently hanging on to, and giving yourself room and permission to experience something more than your current place. All of that means unlearning or defying some habits and going against the feelings of the moment. It means looking into those moments and pulling from them energy, excitement, and harmony that supersede all anguish. It means acknowledging that your stuff exists, stinks, hurts, and needs resolution, but choosing to be in high spirits, relaxed, and free from anxiety in spite of the stuff. It means staring your stuff in the face, taking a deep breath then saying, “so what, you can’t steal or still my joy!”

So you have no money; you can still be happy knowing that the money you’ve spent has sustained you and your family. Maybe your health is failing you. You can still be happy because you’re here right now breathing and being loved. You sleep alone, but you can still be happy because you know you’re too fabulous to sleep alone forever, so in the meantime, you bless your honey wherever he or she is.

Though happiness can be fleeting, you deserve to experience it. And no matter what your life looks or feels like, it’s up to you to seek happiness at every turn. Right beside your worries, underneath your troubles, behind your heartache, in the bigger picture – there is where you will find happiness. Go get it.

Sadiqqa © 2007

“... where would you like for me to be?”
-- Sébakkha’s psalm

“... if I were anywhere,” Sébakkha said, “I’d be at sea, drifting lazily on the waves. I’d have to have you with me, so we could sail together anywhere...

He said, “I’d be in your heart, in your mind, gyrating inside your soul, making myself at home in your body’s living room... I’d be inside of you, and outside of you, and around you. I’d border your shadow. Inside you, I’d feel every thought you have; I’d make myself every thought you’d have...

“Anywhere?” he asked. “I’d be at the beginning and the ending of your day. I’d be in the middle of your day, at the heart of your hour, its minutes and seconds.

“I’d be in your dreams,” Sébakkha purred.

“I’d be anywhere, preparing a place for you, a place for us, where I’d wake up to you every morning, pray and plan over guava juice with you each morning, greet you lovingly when we’ve returned from our day’s work, share my evening with you every night, share my bed with you every night, sharing my self with your self as many nights as you could take me. And then, we’d begin all over again the next day, for the rest of our days.

He said, “Baby, I’d be wherever you needed me to be - at your feet when they’re sore, holding your hands when they’re cold, standing beside you, behind you, around you, for you.” That’s what Sébakkha said.

The Sébakkha said, “I’d be anywhere, posing as your shelter if your house blew away, standing as your family when death takes your folks away, looking like you if you lost your way...

“I’d be on your shelf, so I could watch you sleep. I’d be in your book so you could read me. I’d be in your favorite song so you could sing me. I’d be in the air so you could breathe me. I’d be in your perfume, and I’d stay on all day. I’d be on your person; you’d wear me so well.

“Where,” Sébakkha asked as he turned down the lights, “would you like for me to be?”

Sadiqqa © 2007

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.
-- Cher

When love finds you, will you be receptive?

When love comes rising through the cracks looking for you, as it most certainly will – when it’s your turn – will it find you healthy and whole? Will it find you caring meticulously for your body and mind, eating the right foods, drinking liquids responsibly, and regularly exercising your body and mind? When love grows up through the cement, will you be healthy enough to pull it up?

When it taps you on the left shoulder, will you already be happy with yourself? Will you already be satisfied with your life? Will you already feel complete and know that you are beautiful, important, and desirable and that love only comes to complement the wonderful creature you are? Will you know without a doubt that you are worth loving, worth covering, and worth being adored and celebrated? Will you let love kiss and hold you and you kiss and hold love back?

Will you invite love into a clean and clear spirit, nestle it into an already functioning sense of joyfulness and peace? Will love feel welcome in the space of you?

Or, when it slips through, will it be crowded out by bags of stuff? Stuff so thick and tough and unexamined that it suffocates before it even has a chance to blossom? Will love come face-to-face with disbelief, mistrust, defiance, and disregard and have no choice but to rot and die? Will love be extinguished by bitterness and brokenness then balk forever from you, never again to be seen in your neck of the woods?

Just what will love find when it comes through for you?

Sadiqqa © 2007

Be respectful, but keep it real.
-- Michael Baisdon

Perhaps the reason race relations have not progressed is because we don’t talk with one another. Perhaps the reason we don’t talk is because we don’t think the other listens. Perhaps they don’t listen because sometimes when we Black folks talk, we tend to shout.

Who in the hell wants to be yelled at?

There’s a fine art to getting your point across. It takes savvy. It takes gracefulness. It doesn’t require that you shout, point fingers, place your hands on your hips, or roll your neck. Likewise, keeping it real doesn’t mean you have to call somebody on the carpet or, for affect, add expletives to the truth as you shout in people’s faces. The truth can be heard without all the drama.

At all times, though, say what needs to be said and to whom it needs to be said. Never be afraid to voice your opinion and needs, for thoughts left unspoken remain only thoughts.

So how should you tell others how you feel and what you need? Again, it’s all about art. Case, in point –

Your workplace is made up of lots of people, but the majority of them are not your race or ethnicity or religion or gender or whatever. You find in many cases that you have become the posture child for your race, ethnicity, religion, or gender and feel on occasion innately responsible for representing the difference and showing the office that your people are actually astute folks who should be considered and revered. Mostly, however, you spend a lot of your time feeling tired from representing and resentful because your officemates have prejudices.

But on days when you can stomach the differences, you go about making friends, real friends with whom you share things in common. You begin to earn their trust as well as that of the office for knowing and doing your job well, and being an upstanding person with a pleasing personality and a natural facility to care for others. You present yourself as fair, approachable, likable, reliable, knowledgeable and professional, and as your officemates begin to rely on you as part of the office team, your opinions and needs become integral to the culture and environment of the office. And –

BAM!!,

There it is! The point that you can stand up and speak up about the issues that are on your mind. The point where you can have honest conversation and have your arguments and beliefs received as credible and worth listening to. It is only after you have presented yourself as one of the team to be respected and valued that you can be heard and taken seriously about anything. You may even be able to throw in a neck or eye roll at that point.

You still can’t shout though. Nobody wants to be shouted at.

This doesn’t mean they’ll change their minds about the differences, but at least you’ve gotten your ideas across. Maybe somebody’s mind and life will be changed. It starts with just one anyway.

The point is, keeping it real doesn’t mean you have to shout or be mean or even dredge up years and lifetimes of injustices. All you have to do is be respectful, trustworthy, and truthful. Speak up, but speak righteously.

Sadiqqa © 2007

I hope I’ve contributed to your civility.
-- Rev. Jesse Jackson to Bill O’Reilly at the end of an interview on “The O’Reilly Factor”

Hey, Bill O’Reilly! Guess what?! All Black people don’t like chitterlings and watermelon, and all of us can’t dance!

Surprise!

And guess what else? A large number of Black folks are college educated and middle class, and most of us who came from or run female-headed households are not dangling below the poverty line or leaving our children behind!

Another big surprise, eh?

Oh, and check this out! We put our pants and shirts on just like you. We put gas in our cars and complain about the high prices of oil just like you. We’re baffled by the war, our choice of presidential candidates, taxes, and the depletion of the ozone layer just like you. And we’re as appalled by selected sound bites as you are.

Still surprised?

Get over it!

While some our perspectives about life in America may differ, when it comes down to an evening at home, loving our families, educating our children, earning our living, and worshipping a God we believe in, we all do it. And, we usually do it in the same way – civilly, respectfully, and in ways that successfully sustain our livelihood.

Seriously, we’ve lived in America together for quite some time now, and while you believe yourself economically and socially superior, we still live together and often mimic one another so much, who actually knows where you begin and we end?

Really though, get to know us – the way we know you – not by what you’ve seen on television (it has all Black folks depicted as gang bangers, poverty-stricken, or supporters of substandard lifestyles and habits) and not by the few you’ve passed on the street who make you nervous and declare you’re all afraid of us. And, please, not by the loud-mouthed of us who show up for the photo-ops and speaking engagements. Discern us from them. Please.

The next time you visit Sylvia’s, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles, or Joe’s Barbecue on the other side of the railroad tracks, instead of looking for differences then talking about them in ways you believe will sooth your paternalistic soul and make you feel comfortable, shut up and eat your damned food!

Sadiqqa © 2007

All life has its own current. Are you moving with it - or are you struggling upstream?
-- Oprah Winfrey

Over the weekend a friend explained that she had learned how to flow with life. Earlier in her life, she’d insistently fought against the currents and felt the ground of sand slide swiftly away from under her feet. Now, seasoned by life and experiences, my friend floats freely with the waves of life, makes friends with the jellyfish and albatrosses, and prayerfully, gracefully, and peacefully receives whatever washes ashore.

Oh that we could each embrace this attitude.

Imagine if you would the constant tides of the sea motioning at some times as gentle wind-blown ripples that meet a waiting shoreline; at other times an ocean’s current is as ferocious as a lion pursuing and consuming its prey. Most times, though, the sea is as calm as the sun rising and setting, and not even a storm passing over can change its constitution. The ocean is the ocean and it flows any which way it chooses.

Much like life. Life flows in many different directions, in many different ways. Sometimes life is up, marked by triumphs and celebrations, then, in the blink of an eye, it can be down, with sadness and pain around every corner. Most times, life is somewhere in between the extremes wanting you to just ride its surf.

Oh that we could just ride.

It’s only when you simply allow life to take you along its currents, whatever they may be, that you become stronger and more capable of managing all that swims and surfaces through its currents. It’s when you stop fighting the strong undertow of life that you begin to float and experience life in a new way. When you give in to life’s many uncertainties, carrying with you the lifeboat of faith and life jacket of love, even when it feels as though you will drown amid the circumstances and situations life presents; when you cease trying to beat back the currents of life, punching at it as though you could make it do what you want and getting angry, sullen, and fatigued as life takes on its own shape; when you simply accept that you’re a pawn and all of life is waiting for you to relax so it can give you all it wishes for you to have; then, and only then, can you finally be free.

Oh that we could be open to that which begets such freedom.

Hoist your sail and move with life’s flow. After all, swimming daily against the current can wear you out, distract your course, and bury you beneath the sea.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Stop when you’re full.
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, “Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”

Remember when your mama said you could not leave the table or take a drink until you’d eaten everything on your plate? Remember that she said you had to play outside or inside, not both, so stop slam’n that screen door!? Remember when you had to kiss and hug everybody at the party goodnight when it was time for you to go to bed, even that great aunt with the bad Polident® grip?

Well, today you’re a grownup and you never have to do any of that again. As a matter of fact, you don’t have to do much of what you don’t want to do ever again. Aside from the essentials like going to work, paying the bills, eating, sleeping, and a plethora of other odd fundamentals, whenever you think you’ve had enough, just stop.

Which can actually be one of the hardest things to do. For example, how easy is it to stop loving someone even when that person has taken your head and heart through so many hurtful places? You want to stop, you want to not feel; you’ve had enough, it’s hurting you. But, you just can’t stop.

Or, how easy is it to let go of a job that’s not taking you anywhere, that’s comfortable and stable, even though comfortable and stable aren’t increasing your pay or bringing you satisfaction? You gotta feed the kids, right?

And how easy is it to stop enabling your first-born child who depends on you to bail him out of his troubles, so much so you’ve mortgaged your home again just to post bail, jeopardized your mental, and subsequently, your physical health worrying over his well-being, and not moved him any closer to the resolution of his issues? How easy is it to stop holding up your baby and just let him go to fend for himself and learn his lessons the hard way?

It’s not easy. Something deep in our spirits pushes us to go on, to give more, give it another try, and stay until it’s all said and done. After all, not stopping is our claim to fame, that’s what got us to this point and place in our lives. Had your great ancestors stopped when enough was enough, would you even be reading this scribe?

Maybe. Maybe not. But for the sake of your own welfare and that of your children and those watching, if you’ve had enough, by all and any means necessary, stop. When you pronounce that you’re full and don’t want anymore, when you push back from the table of selfish and insensitive relationships, self-denigration, doubt, fear, resentment, depression, and loneliness, then you can make thoughtful and appropriate decisions and changes in your life. It is only then that you can really say you are a grownup.

Sadiqqa © 2007

The Power structure is not going to save us – never has and never will. We have to take things into our own hands and save ourselves.
-- Camille Cosby

Last evening’s nightly news programs and “magazines” – Hardball with Chris Matthews, Hannity and Colmes, Anderson Cooper 360°, and all the other programs with professional talking heads – covered one story and one story only – the latest adventures and calamities of O.J. Simpson.

After covering Orenthal James as the main topic, blood for oil – oops – the war in Iraq was the topic. If not those 2 items, the talk was of President Bush’s nomination of Michael Mukasey for Attorney General and General Petraeus’ “it’s working” surge. Or, switch to another talking heald and it was MoveOn.org’s bashing of Rudy Giuliani and Hillary Clinton’s new take on an old universal healthcare plan. If none of those were the topics, it was certain to be Iran’s nuclear arsenal, Greenspan’s criticism, Blackwater’s ban, a polygamist’s trial, ACLU’s support of Larry Craig, or another recalled brand of bagged salad for suspected E. coli contamination. All important issues and events with very significant ramifications.

But did the atrocious events in Jena, Louisiana appear as anybody’s story or even as an item on the ticker tape rolling across the screen?

Even Black Republican and 2 time candidate Alan Keyes made the CNBC ticker tape for his entrance as a candidate into the 2008 presidential race.

Is this just another indication of how Black people are marginalized and ignored, or was I just watching the wrong channels?

Isn’t the social injustice, spurred by a racist district attorney in a small town of about 3,000 people, that impacts not only the victims and their families but the country as a whole, newsworthy? Isn’t it worthy of the same, if not more, fanatical media attention that Kevin Federline got being the target of an assassination plot? When thousands of Black and white people will converge on a city the size of Jena to ensure their presence is felt and voices heard regarding the inequity of the charges and treatment of Black students and people, doesn’t Sally Field’s cursing and political banter at the Emmy’s Sunday night pale in comparison?

Face it, nobody’s talking about Black people or what’s important to us, so you know nobody’s coming to save us. Don’t look for nobody. Don’t hold your breath for ‘em.

Which is just as well because nobody knows what we need better than we do. History has proven time and again that the only way we’ll realize freedom and justice is to go get it for ourselves – which is what we’ll seek on September 20 in Jena. The only way we’ll grasp economic security and social stability is to build for ourselves with our own pooled capital and resources, then spend our dollars among ourselves. We can’t wait for others to do for us what needs to be done by us. The mainstream news media won’t do it and local, state and federal governments certainly won’t do it. Besides, self-help doesn’t need the help of the media or any administration.

Stay tuned in to Tom Joyner, Michael Baisden, Russ Parr, NPR’s News and Notes with Farai Chideya and the entire roundtable, Steve Harvey, and all the other Black media outlets who have kept the Jena Six issue at the forefront of America, even and especially without the conventional radar.

Sadiqqa © 2007