Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people.
-- André Dubus

They’ll notice everything about me, they always do. They’ll see that one of my ears is higher than the other and that my left eyebrow is longer than the right. Damn, when I smile, my lips aren’t even... should I smile like this or should I show my teeth? Aw hell, look at those stains! Are they looking at my clothes? Aw hell, I think they’re commenting on how short I am? I wonder if they think I’ve got that “short-man’s” complex, or if because I’m short, everything about me is “short.” Y’know, I think I’ll just cancel this date/interview/night out with the boys. I’m not feeling my best.

Can you believe this guy, putting his life on hold because he’s concerned about what other people will see and think about him? Can you believe his modesty and bashfulness is keeping him from experiencing some of the joys of life?

Oh you can, huh? You say you’re sort of shy too, huh? Hopefully not to the point that you’d rather shut your life down, though.

Probably at the core, each of us carries a bit of shyness within us, a little modesty and caution about stepping out before others to show what we can do. On any given day, it’s sometimes difficult to leave your home, already self-conscious and ill at ease, to pass a group of people who, in your mind, are glaring at your long eyebrow, almost certainly listening to you intently to catch mistakes and misconstruction, and seemingly judging you for every flaw and lapse you have and make.

We do have a tendency to do those things, you know.

But you can rest assured that as you leave your home, self-consciously and all, others have done so as well, hoping to not be looked at too closely or judged erratically and unfavorably. Most of the people you come in contact with could care less about how you look; they’re caught up on their own hang-ups and barely have time to survey you. Some do, of course, and they do so because they’re either envious or jealous of you, or they’re admiring your style and taking mental notes so they can recreate it in themselves. At least it helps to think about it that way when you walk past their gazing eyes.

In the long run, though, you just have to realize and accept that human nature is to be peer. That’s just what we do. Set your shyness aside, do it despite the discomfort, and get the train moving so you can get the most out of life.

Sadiqqa © 2007