Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God?
-- 1 Corinthians 6:19 (Today’s English Version)
With the Spirit of God inside you, you are a magnificent and marvelous being. You are dynamic, fearless, and spirited. You step lively, live righteously, and hold your head up high. Because the Holy Spirit is within you, you are one with God, treating yourself and His children with dignity and kindness. You are holy. You are divine. You are perfect.
Housing the Spirit of the Lord in your body, you have awesome power and ability. Your aptitude is above average, and your gifts are exceptional. There is nothing you can’t accomplish, nothing you can’t achieve. Grandness leaks from every pore in your blessed temple and self-assuredness beams from you like a glowing golden aura. With the Spirit of God flowing through you, you are unstoppable even when your enemies crowd you with obstacles and aggravation.
The Spirit of the Lord that resides in your precious temple radiates goodness, compassion, and love, and it makes you look and feel at peace when all others in the world are restless, joyless, uncaring, and cold. With the Spirit in you, you have the wherewithal to serve like the Lord, to be as humble as Jesus, and to turn your cheek as many times as you are offended. With the Spirit inside, you know you’re never alone, never empty, never without, and you can make it around every hairpin bend in the road.
Your body, the sacred temple, is free of poisons, free of disingenuous and insensible living. You protect the Spirit within from negative and distressing thoughts; drug and alcohol abuse; domestic abuse; overwork; overeating; hunger; sleeplessness; sex without commitment and intimacy; extra weight; scrapes and scars; the wrong foods; the wrong sources of energy; and debilitating fear. You stay clear of these ills and keep your Self balanced and prostrate because you don’t want to betray, insult, destroy, or prostitute the Spirit within.
The Spirit of God within your dear body beats and streams better and greater than your heart and blood and replenishes breath and life. If the Spirit of the Lord did not live inside you, you’d be no more that ashen flesh and dry bones. The Spirit within oils and keeps in motion every single part of you on every single day.
Spirit just wanted to remind you.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 30, 2007
Apr 27, 2007
We already know who and what we are not. We talk about it every chance we get... We point it out to ourselves to make sure we don’t forget it... Just for today, offer yourself the love and acceptance you need to move yourself beyond who you have not been and what you did not do.
-- Iyanla Vanzant, “Until Today”
Yeah, so you’re not this and you don’t know that, and you’ve never been there. Well, if you’re not this and don’t know that, and you haven’t been there, who, then are you and what do you know? Where have you been?On the back of that long and unending list you regularly whip out of who you’re not, what you don’t know, what you can’t stand, where you’ll never be, and what you won’t acquiesce to is a page of who you are, what you know, what you can stand, where you will go, and what you will give in to. Heck, it may even be 2 or 3 pages if you really give yourself credit.It’s far too easy and effortless to think of your lack and give it more voice than that which is plenteous and rich about you. Why is that? Why is it easier to put yourself down, punch holes in your abilities, shirk your potential, deflect a compliment, or turn away from an admiring glance than it is to love yourself, hold yourself in high esteem, say “thank you” to honest praise, and look back when they look at you?
Could it be that maybe somewhere along the way, somebody told you that you really weren’t all you believed yourself to be, and they said it so much, you believed them? Perhaps somewhere along the way you compared yourself to somebody you believed had more, did more, knew more, so they must have been more. Possibly somebody told you that you didn’t have the right to believe yourself capable, to take pride in how you look and feel, and that to do so was arrogant, snobbish, stuck-up, and, therefore, sinful. Somebody took your self-regard and you can’t figure out how to get it back or recreate it for this point on.
Or maybe nobody was there to help you feel affirmed and acceptable. Perhaps, at some point in your life, you were left to fend for, define, cheer, and trust only yourself, but you didn’t have or develop the right tools or means to properly shape and mold your sense of self and confidence. Maybe nobody ever came around to love you well so that you’d have ample examples of how to do that for yourself.
And now, the way you respond to any of it is to focus on what’s wrong, what hurts, and every deficit you can come up with. Then you fade to the background and carry on about your insufficiency and shortages.
From this point on, give yourself some credit. As a matter of fact, give yourself lots of credit, all the credit you deserve because you are and you know, you can and you do. Practice talking about your assets and give it the all the power you’ve given to scarcity and imperfection.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Iyanla Vanzant, “Until Today”
Yeah, so you’re not this and you don’t know that, and you’ve never been there. Well, if you’re not this and don’t know that, and you haven’t been there, who, then are you and what do you know? Where have you been?On the back of that long and unending list you regularly whip out of who you’re not, what you don’t know, what you can’t stand, where you’ll never be, and what you won’t acquiesce to is a page of who you are, what you know, what you can stand, where you will go, and what you will give in to. Heck, it may even be 2 or 3 pages if you really give yourself credit.It’s far too easy and effortless to think of your lack and give it more voice than that which is plenteous and rich about you. Why is that? Why is it easier to put yourself down, punch holes in your abilities, shirk your potential, deflect a compliment, or turn away from an admiring glance than it is to love yourself, hold yourself in high esteem, say “thank you” to honest praise, and look back when they look at you?
Could it be that maybe somewhere along the way, somebody told you that you really weren’t all you believed yourself to be, and they said it so much, you believed them? Perhaps somewhere along the way you compared yourself to somebody you believed had more, did more, knew more, so they must have been more. Possibly somebody told you that you didn’t have the right to believe yourself capable, to take pride in how you look and feel, and that to do so was arrogant, snobbish, stuck-up, and, therefore, sinful. Somebody took your self-regard and you can’t figure out how to get it back or recreate it for this point on.
Or maybe nobody was there to help you feel affirmed and acceptable. Perhaps, at some point in your life, you were left to fend for, define, cheer, and trust only yourself, but you didn’t have or develop the right tools or means to properly shape and mold your sense of self and confidence. Maybe nobody ever came around to love you well so that you’d have ample examples of how to do that for yourself.
And now, the way you respond to any of it is to focus on what’s wrong, what hurts, and every deficit you can come up with. Then you fade to the background and carry on about your insufficiency and shortages.
From this point on, give yourself some credit. As a matter of fact, give yourself lots of credit, all the credit you deserve because you are and you know, you can and you do. Practice talking about your assets and give it the all the power you’ve given to scarcity and imperfection.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 26, 2007
Debt is slavery.
-- Michael Baisden
Seemed like such a simple purchase; didn’t cost but a couple hundred, and it looked great on. Whatever, you thought, you’ll just pay double the minimum balance and have your credit card paid off in no time; what, you’ve only got $1,000 on the card, another $200 won’t kill you. But before you left the boutique, you’d bought 2 pair of shoes, purses to match, scarves, a hat, and jewelry that had to be carried in a bag all by itself. Now you’re in for paying off an additional $850. Hmmm, what’ll be double the minimum payment on that 21% interest rate card?
But it didn’t stop there. When you went to dinner that evening, you used a different credit card. You knew you were close to the limit but thought you could eat and drink just under the limit. Well, you went over your limit, and when you gave the server your card, you prayed to all the patron saints that it’d go through. As the server returned to the table with a smile on his face and pen in hand, you felt relieved and signed the receipt as though you didn’t have a care in the world. However, when the bill came, the credit card company had charged you an over-the-limit fee of $37.50 and snatched your low introductory rate of 4.9% because you’d gone over the limit (remember the fine print?). But give them credit for not wanting to embarrass you while you were out for a nice dinner.
Then, new tires on your SUV; $500 on the MasterCard. Dental work; a co-pay of $250 on the Visa. Membership dues and fees to the sorority, the fitness club, your professional organizations, and the neighborhood association; $600 on the Visa. Annual donations to 3 of your favorite charities; $150 on your MasterCard. Six birthday parties, 2 anniversaries, 4 baby showers, 1 wedding, and 1 retirement party; $1,825 between Macy’s, Neiman Marcus, Sears, Home Depot, Lord & Taylor, and Costco Wholesale. Christmas, New Years, Valentines, Easter, Secretary’s Day, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, Father’s Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas again, and every other day in between; $5,355 between all 17 credit cards you have. Your total credit card debt; massively priceless.
Now, dolefully holding your head in your hands, you try to figure out how to stop the creditors from calling you and where you can find more money, and while you know robbing a bank could land you in jail, you actually entertain the thought of going to jail just so the creditors would stop calling you.
Worrying about your debt has impacted every aspect of your life – your home life, job, friendships, intimate relationships, and most of all your ability maintain a pleasant mood and perspective on life. You’ve lost sleep worrying about your debt and you walk around as though debt was a noticeable monkey on your back. Debt has made you a slave, and until you control it, you will be forced to work for it and pray that it doesn’t beat you senseless and leave you in a ditch for dead.
Of course, financial consultants offer a myriad of solutions for minimizing and eliminating your debt. The trick is to choose one and stick with it. Financial experts Michelle Singletary and Suze Orman advise paying off the cards with the highest interest rate first while Dave Ramsey suggests using any extra funds to pay off debts by the smallest to the largest balance, a sort of system of “quick wins.” All of them recommend that you examine yourself and your spending motivations. Only then can you develop a debt busting plan that works for you.
Whatever your plan, do it. There’s no reason to be bound by the chains of debt. You owe it to yourself and your children to fix it and live a better future. Cut up the cards, live on one, and get yourself together.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Michael Baisden
Seemed like such a simple purchase; didn’t cost but a couple hundred, and it looked great on. Whatever, you thought, you’ll just pay double the minimum balance and have your credit card paid off in no time; what, you’ve only got $1,000 on the card, another $200 won’t kill you. But before you left the boutique, you’d bought 2 pair of shoes, purses to match, scarves, a hat, and jewelry that had to be carried in a bag all by itself. Now you’re in for paying off an additional $850. Hmmm, what’ll be double the minimum payment on that 21% interest rate card?
But it didn’t stop there. When you went to dinner that evening, you used a different credit card. You knew you were close to the limit but thought you could eat and drink just under the limit. Well, you went over your limit, and when you gave the server your card, you prayed to all the patron saints that it’d go through. As the server returned to the table with a smile on his face and pen in hand, you felt relieved and signed the receipt as though you didn’t have a care in the world. However, when the bill came, the credit card company had charged you an over-the-limit fee of $37.50 and snatched your low introductory rate of 4.9% because you’d gone over the limit (remember the fine print?). But give them credit for not wanting to embarrass you while you were out for a nice dinner.
Then, new tires on your SUV; $500 on the MasterCard. Dental work; a co-pay of $250 on the Visa. Membership dues and fees to the sorority, the fitness club, your professional organizations, and the neighborhood association; $600 on the Visa. Annual donations to 3 of your favorite charities; $150 on your MasterCard. Six birthday parties, 2 anniversaries, 4 baby showers, 1 wedding, and 1 retirement party; $1,825 between Macy’s, Neiman Marcus, Sears, Home Depot, Lord & Taylor, and Costco Wholesale. Christmas, New Years, Valentines, Easter, Secretary’s Day, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, Father’s Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas again, and every other day in between; $5,355 between all 17 credit cards you have. Your total credit card debt; massively priceless.
Now, dolefully holding your head in your hands, you try to figure out how to stop the creditors from calling you and where you can find more money, and while you know robbing a bank could land you in jail, you actually entertain the thought of going to jail just so the creditors would stop calling you.
Worrying about your debt has impacted every aspect of your life – your home life, job, friendships, intimate relationships, and most of all your ability maintain a pleasant mood and perspective on life. You’ve lost sleep worrying about your debt and you walk around as though debt was a noticeable monkey on your back. Debt has made you a slave, and until you control it, you will be forced to work for it and pray that it doesn’t beat you senseless and leave you in a ditch for dead.
Of course, financial consultants offer a myriad of solutions for minimizing and eliminating your debt. The trick is to choose one and stick with it. Financial experts Michelle Singletary and Suze Orman advise paying off the cards with the highest interest rate first while Dave Ramsey suggests using any extra funds to pay off debts by the smallest to the largest balance, a sort of system of “quick wins.” All of them recommend that you examine yourself and your spending motivations. Only then can you develop a debt busting plan that works for you.
Whatever your plan, do it. There’s no reason to be bound by the chains of debt. You owe it to yourself and your children to fix it and live a better future. Cut up the cards, live on one, and get yourself together.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 25, 2007
Some weeks you really need a Saturday on a Wednesday.
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, ““Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”
The papers in your inbox seem to be multiplying by the hour. The phone keeps ringing and the emails keep coming (and none of them are the fun jokes you’d really like to read). People are in and out of your office needing your opinion, signature, and shoulder. You’ve got a meeting scheduled at 9:15 to go over the plans for the lunch meeting which will be held to discuss the 4:30 meeting. At 8:00 p.m., you’ve got a family meeting to discuss how to meet everybody’s needs. On top of that, your secretary exchanged your dark roast Brazilian java with some fancy French vanilla cinnamon blend. Ugh! While there’s no doubt you love your job and your family, today you could really use a break (and a fresh cup of real coffee).
And you don’t need just any break. You need a day where the only sound you hear from your deluxe sound alarm clock is a digital quality rain storm, Zen melody, mountain stream, waterfall, songbirds, or ocean surf which you actually don’t hear because you’re sleeping so soundly. You need a day where when (and if) you do get out of your down comforter bed, it’s late. But that’s okay because nothing is required of you so you leisurely eat buttery light waffles and drink mango mimosas while sitting on the chaise lounge of the deck reading a novel by your favorite author. You need a day where you can forget the time, the inbox, and the meetings. You need a day like a Saturday.
As a matter of fact, you need a few Saturdays in a row. Saturdays where you –
What? You don’t recognize these Saturdays? You say these aren’t the way your Saturdays are? You say your Saturdays are errand days; days where you catch up on yard work, the laundry, and the kids? You use Saturdays to pay bills and balance your checkbook? Grocery shop? Take the dog to the vet? Clean the fish tank? Scrub the floors? Clean the closets? Dust the trinkets? Clean behind the refrigerator? Sometimes you use the day to do the work you brought home? You’re kidding, right? Every Saturday? Geez, now Saturday sounds like just another work day.
It’s no wonder you’re so smashed today if you did all that stuff and more like it on Saturday.
It’s because we stuff our Saturdays so tightly with all the errands, designs, and demands that by the time Wednesday rolls around, we’re already spent and in need of some down time. Saturday becomes just another day, not one that is made for relaxing and taking time for ourselves. Certainly there are things we must do on Saturdays because it’s impossible to do them during the week’s working days. But is it necessary to do those things every Saturday? Can’t we use one Saturday to listen to the clock’s ocean waves, drink a refreshing mimosa, and not be responsible for anything?
Commit to making at least one Saturday each month a day of relaxation and quiet. Perhaps then the workdays may not seem so tiring and overwhelming and when Wednesday comes around, it can just be the hump day that sees the glory coming on Saturday.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, ““Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”
The papers in your inbox seem to be multiplying by the hour. The phone keeps ringing and the emails keep coming (and none of them are the fun jokes you’d really like to read). People are in and out of your office needing your opinion, signature, and shoulder. You’ve got a meeting scheduled at 9:15 to go over the plans for the lunch meeting which will be held to discuss the 4:30 meeting. At 8:00 p.m., you’ve got a family meeting to discuss how to meet everybody’s needs. On top of that, your secretary exchanged your dark roast Brazilian java with some fancy French vanilla cinnamon blend. Ugh! While there’s no doubt you love your job and your family, today you could really use a break (and a fresh cup of real coffee).
And you don’t need just any break. You need a day where the only sound you hear from your deluxe sound alarm clock is a digital quality rain storm, Zen melody, mountain stream, waterfall, songbirds, or ocean surf which you actually don’t hear because you’re sleeping so soundly. You need a day where when (and if) you do get out of your down comforter bed, it’s late. But that’s okay because nothing is required of you so you leisurely eat buttery light waffles and drink mango mimosas while sitting on the chaise lounge of the deck reading a novel by your favorite author. You need a day where you can forget the time, the inbox, and the meetings. You need a day like a Saturday.
As a matter of fact, you need a few Saturdays in a row. Saturdays where you –
What? You don’t recognize these Saturdays? You say these aren’t the way your Saturdays are? You say your Saturdays are errand days; days where you catch up on yard work, the laundry, and the kids? You use Saturdays to pay bills and balance your checkbook? Grocery shop? Take the dog to the vet? Clean the fish tank? Scrub the floors? Clean the closets? Dust the trinkets? Clean behind the refrigerator? Sometimes you use the day to do the work you brought home? You’re kidding, right? Every Saturday? Geez, now Saturday sounds like just another work day.
It’s no wonder you’re so smashed today if you did all that stuff and more like it on Saturday.
It’s because we stuff our Saturdays so tightly with all the errands, designs, and demands that by the time Wednesday rolls around, we’re already spent and in need of some down time. Saturday becomes just another day, not one that is made for relaxing and taking time for ourselves. Certainly there are things we must do on Saturdays because it’s impossible to do them during the week’s working days. But is it necessary to do those things every Saturday? Can’t we use one Saturday to listen to the clock’s ocean waves, drink a refreshing mimosa, and not be responsible for anything?
Commit to making at least one Saturday each month a day of relaxation and quiet. Perhaps then the workdays may not seem so tiring and overwhelming and when Wednesday comes around, it can just be the hump day that sees the glory coming on Saturday.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 24, 2007
If it hurts, stop doing it.
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, ““Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”
Potato chips! That’s your favorite thing. You could eat them at anytime and with anything; and there’s NO way you could eat just one. However, your doctor’s report cited exorbitant levels of trans-fat flowing through your bloodstream as the main culprit that made your cholesterol so high it caused your arteries to narrow and impede the supply of nutrients and oxygen to your heart. One (or two and a few) more chip, your doctor confirmed, and you may create a blockage that results in a heart attack.
Your doctor also suggested that exercising more would not only help you lose the weight that heavily impacts your high blood pressure, fleeting heart muscles, low insulin production, and knee and ankle health, it would increase your metabolism so you could burn the unwanted fats in your body more quickly and evenly. She even went as far as recommending a specific medium-impact exercise routine, one that would get your heart rate pumping for at least 45 minutes, 4 times per week. She recommended a daily vitamin, increasing your intake of dark leafy greens and a variety of fruits, and drinking lots of water to replenish your body’s store of natural energy.
But what you wanted was a 16 ounce bag of chips, and a 16 ounce bag of chips is what you had while you kicked your swollen feet up on the couch.
Now, as you wonder whether the flashing lights are that of the ambulance carrying you to the hospital or of your life passing before your eyes as you take you last breaths, you vow to stop eating what you shouldn’t, eat what you should, and exercise for 2 hours each day. You promise the heavens that you’ll never ever again look at a bag of chips let alone anything that’s related to chips – potatoes, fries, even Irish people. You feel a sudden, violent jerk as you realize you’re being resuscitated, and you pray for one last chance as your heart beat gets slower and slower. You hear “clear!,” but your poor, suffocating heart has stopped. The flashing lights are replaced by a bright light. And all because of a bag of chips. You couldn’t stop eating even one. Time of death? Too soon to mention.
So, maybe it’s not as extreme as this, and maybe it’s not just a chip. Maybe it’s a diet full of fried and greasy foods followed by healthy doses of sweets and sodas, then a long sprawl onto the couch.
Or maybe your vice is overspending on immaterial items then having no money for left to pay the mortgage that’s 3 months behind and heading for foreclosure. Perhaps it’s living with a partner who mistreats and abuses you and your children when he/she is angry or simply feels like it; or maybe you repeatedly sleep around just to feel wanted, valuable, and loved and the results have now proven detrimental to your health, safety, and longevity. Whatever the thing is that’s hurting you, the thing that has the potential to put your health and life in jeopardy, seek counseling or medical assistance, process it to the core, accept the recommended solutions and direction, then, with as much effort as it takes, work through it.
If it hurts, stop doing it. Don’t pay the consequences that come with continuing to hurt yourself.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, ““Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”
Potato chips! That’s your favorite thing. You could eat them at anytime and with anything; and there’s NO way you could eat just one. However, your doctor’s report cited exorbitant levels of trans-fat flowing through your bloodstream as the main culprit that made your cholesterol so high it caused your arteries to narrow and impede the supply of nutrients and oxygen to your heart. One (or two and a few) more chip, your doctor confirmed, and you may create a blockage that results in a heart attack.
Your doctor also suggested that exercising more would not only help you lose the weight that heavily impacts your high blood pressure, fleeting heart muscles, low insulin production, and knee and ankle health, it would increase your metabolism so you could burn the unwanted fats in your body more quickly and evenly. She even went as far as recommending a specific medium-impact exercise routine, one that would get your heart rate pumping for at least 45 minutes, 4 times per week. She recommended a daily vitamin, increasing your intake of dark leafy greens and a variety of fruits, and drinking lots of water to replenish your body’s store of natural energy.
But what you wanted was a 16 ounce bag of chips, and a 16 ounce bag of chips is what you had while you kicked your swollen feet up on the couch.
Now, as you wonder whether the flashing lights are that of the ambulance carrying you to the hospital or of your life passing before your eyes as you take you last breaths, you vow to stop eating what you shouldn’t, eat what you should, and exercise for 2 hours each day. You promise the heavens that you’ll never ever again look at a bag of chips let alone anything that’s related to chips – potatoes, fries, even Irish people. You feel a sudden, violent jerk as you realize you’re being resuscitated, and you pray for one last chance as your heart beat gets slower and slower. You hear “clear!,” but your poor, suffocating heart has stopped. The flashing lights are replaced by a bright light. And all because of a bag of chips. You couldn’t stop eating even one. Time of death? Too soon to mention.
So, maybe it’s not as extreme as this, and maybe it’s not just a chip. Maybe it’s a diet full of fried and greasy foods followed by healthy doses of sweets and sodas, then a long sprawl onto the couch.
Or maybe your vice is overspending on immaterial items then having no money for left to pay the mortgage that’s 3 months behind and heading for foreclosure. Perhaps it’s living with a partner who mistreats and abuses you and your children when he/she is angry or simply feels like it; or maybe you repeatedly sleep around just to feel wanted, valuable, and loved and the results have now proven detrimental to your health, safety, and longevity. Whatever the thing is that’s hurting you, the thing that has the potential to put your health and life in jeopardy, seek counseling or medical assistance, process it to the core, accept the recommended solutions and direction, then, with as much effort as it takes, work through it.
If it hurts, stop doing it. Don’t pay the consequences that come with continuing to hurt yourself.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 23, 2007
You can make chores fun by telling people you’re Cinderella.
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, ““Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”
The grind of day-to-day, same ol’, regular, predictable, rote, and routine living is putting a damper on your otherwise cheerful and outgoing spirit. Each day is so familiar you wonder whether the calendar actually changes or if you’re stuck in an echoing time warp. Your daily activities are so repetitious you can and have conducted them with your eyes closed and your mind in Neverland looking for the happily ever after.
So, why not pretend you’re in Neverland? Why not pretend you’re someone else and tell everybody you’re that someone else? Children do it all the time and you know they’re having a great time.
Imagine you’re Father Time, able to will time to move forward to get you through this day as quickly as possible, or backwards so you can revisit and/or correct a situation that haunts you. Or imagine that you are riding across the sky on a magic carpet, pouring genie juice on each person you know and love to grant them their greatest desires. Or maybe you’d be a Prince or Princess that the world reveres and obeys, and nobody’d dare cross you with the trivialities of the day or hour...
Okay, so maybe you’re not accustomed to freeplay and visualization and it takes a lot for you to really imagine yourself as someone else. Perhaps you suppose this visual exercise pointless, and suffering the raised eyebrows of the people you tell that you’re Big Bird isn’t really all that fun (although I beg to differ). But hopefully, in an effort to bring frivolity and less predictability into your day, you can imagine what specific characters may feel and allow some of that whimsy into your life as you go about your regularly scheduled day. Ask yourself – how would your favorite dwarf (of Snow White’s gang of seven) get through a day like yours? How would Wonder Woman, Shazam, Cosby’s Brown Hornet, or Underdog handle the conundrums of your habitual situations? What would plain turned belle Cinderella do with the rats, dogs, and pumpkins you experience on a regular basis?
Maybe it’s still too unimaginable but the point is think outside the norm, to think in terms of the extraordinary, unusual, and uncommon to find some fun to dress up the day and remove the drudgery you’re feeling.
Challenge yourself to think as a child would. Their perspectives are often fresher, unencumbered, and healthier, and they don’t get stuck much in a rut.
Better still, make yourself an imaginary friend or two. They’re you’re friends; nobody’ll know they exist... unless you tell them just to enjoy the raised eyebrows.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, ““Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”
The grind of day-to-day, same ol’, regular, predictable, rote, and routine living is putting a damper on your otherwise cheerful and outgoing spirit. Each day is so familiar you wonder whether the calendar actually changes or if you’re stuck in an echoing time warp. Your daily activities are so repetitious you can and have conducted them with your eyes closed and your mind in Neverland looking for the happily ever after.
So, why not pretend you’re in Neverland? Why not pretend you’re someone else and tell everybody you’re that someone else? Children do it all the time and you know they’re having a great time.
Imagine you’re Father Time, able to will time to move forward to get you through this day as quickly as possible, or backwards so you can revisit and/or correct a situation that haunts you. Or imagine that you are riding across the sky on a magic carpet, pouring genie juice on each person you know and love to grant them their greatest desires. Or maybe you’d be a Prince or Princess that the world reveres and obeys, and nobody’d dare cross you with the trivialities of the day or hour...
Okay, so maybe you’re not accustomed to freeplay and visualization and it takes a lot for you to really imagine yourself as someone else. Perhaps you suppose this visual exercise pointless, and suffering the raised eyebrows of the people you tell that you’re Big Bird isn’t really all that fun (although I beg to differ). But hopefully, in an effort to bring frivolity and less predictability into your day, you can imagine what specific characters may feel and allow some of that whimsy into your life as you go about your regularly scheduled day. Ask yourself – how would your favorite dwarf (of Snow White’s gang of seven) get through a day like yours? How would Wonder Woman, Shazam, Cosby’s Brown Hornet, or Underdog handle the conundrums of your habitual situations? What would plain turned belle Cinderella do with the rats, dogs, and pumpkins you experience on a regular basis?
Maybe it’s still too unimaginable but the point is think outside the norm, to think in terms of the extraordinary, unusual, and uncommon to find some fun to dress up the day and remove the drudgery you’re feeling.
Challenge yourself to think as a child would. Their perspectives are often fresher, unencumbered, and healthier, and they don’t get stuck much in a rut.
Better still, make yourself an imaginary friend or two. They’re you’re friends; nobody’ll know they exist... unless you tell them just to enjoy the raised eyebrows.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 20, 2007
Everybody who comes into this world gets caught up in the cycles that people around them are fighting. There’s no way you can avoid dealing with the problems that your parents and family have probably inherited from their parents and family. But I know that you don’t have to spend your life trapped in those cycles. You can finish them and move forward.
-- Bertice Berry, Ph.D.
You never knew the presence or support of a father. You never knew what it felt like to be covered and cared for by a loving dad who protected and provided for you and showed you daily what it took for two adults to successfully communicate and work together to make a home comfortable and safe, and life pleasant and enjoyable. You never saw your mother slow down, breathe, and let go even a little because she had a partner she could depend on, and you never saw her held and loved and happy and made to feel beautiful, interesting, and important by a father who not only loved her womanly ways, but also loved who she was as a person.
So now, lying in your arms is an 8 pound newborn, gentle, delicate, and in need of her father’s brand of comfort and love. You have no idea how to give it and much less about where to reach inside yourself and pull it from. You’re scared, just as your father was, and you want to hand the baby back to her mama and run, just like your father did. Only you remember the emptiness and abandon you felt growing up without your father around and know you’d not wish that kind of pain and confusion on anyone. Looking at this little precious one, thinking of the first smile, the first words, birthdays, school days, boyfriend days, sad and happy days to come, you decide right then and there that the cycle of fatherlessness in your family ends with you, no matter how scary and awesome this responsibility is, or how clueless and inept you feel just holding this fragile little life you helped create in your hands. At that moment, your father, his absent father, and all the others in your life who walked away are redeemed and set free.
There are so many damaging cycles in our lives worth breaking, whether they are those passed down or those we’ve created and imposed upon ourselves. The power to change our thinking and behavior is always with us, as long as we recognize the dysfunction and disservice of the cycles we perpetuate. Whether it’s something simple like cutting off the butt of the roast because mama and grandmamma did; being the first in a long line of family members to move out of public or subsidized housing into your own home; saving your money instead of spending every last dime on material possessions; or not leaving the scene (a job, relationship, the church, etc.) when things don’t go your way, but sticking around to make and see change, cycles can be broken so that those who watch us and those who come after us can have a fuller life, and we can move on to something more worthwhile, deserving, and meant exclusively for us.
Pay attention to the cycles in your life and determine whether they need to be alleviated so that you can move forward, instead of spinning the rest of your life like a hamster in a trance.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Bertice Berry, Ph.D.
You never knew the presence or support of a father. You never knew what it felt like to be covered and cared for by a loving dad who protected and provided for you and showed you daily what it took for two adults to successfully communicate and work together to make a home comfortable and safe, and life pleasant and enjoyable. You never saw your mother slow down, breathe, and let go even a little because she had a partner she could depend on, and you never saw her held and loved and happy and made to feel beautiful, interesting, and important by a father who not only loved her womanly ways, but also loved who she was as a person.
So now, lying in your arms is an 8 pound newborn, gentle, delicate, and in need of her father’s brand of comfort and love. You have no idea how to give it and much less about where to reach inside yourself and pull it from. You’re scared, just as your father was, and you want to hand the baby back to her mama and run, just like your father did. Only you remember the emptiness and abandon you felt growing up without your father around and know you’d not wish that kind of pain and confusion on anyone. Looking at this little precious one, thinking of the first smile, the first words, birthdays, school days, boyfriend days, sad and happy days to come, you decide right then and there that the cycle of fatherlessness in your family ends with you, no matter how scary and awesome this responsibility is, or how clueless and inept you feel just holding this fragile little life you helped create in your hands. At that moment, your father, his absent father, and all the others in your life who walked away are redeemed and set free.
There are so many damaging cycles in our lives worth breaking, whether they are those passed down or those we’ve created and imposed upon ourselves. The power to change our thinking and behavior is always with us, as long as we recognize the dysfunction and disservice of the cycles we perpetuate. Whether it’s something simple like cutting off the butt of the roast because mama and grandmamma did; being the first in a long line of family members to move out of public or subsidized housing into your own home; saving your money instead of spending every last dime on material possessions; or not leaving the scene (a job, relationship, the church, etc.) when things don’t go your way, but sticking around to make and see change, cycles can be broken so that those who watch us and those who come after us can have a fuller life, and we can move on to something more worthwhile, deserving, and meant exclusively for us.
Pay attention to the cycles in your life and determine whether they need to be alleviated so that you can move forward, instead of spinning the rest of your life like a hamster in a trance.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 19, 2007
Dry your eyes... And put your toughskin back on.
-- Big Mama (from the Showtime series “Soul Food”)
“Ba-blam!!” you slam the door as you walk in the house after another long day of grueling and pointless work. You pace for a while, then stand akimbo drumming your foot. You just can’t believe it.
Once again, things did not go your way; they didn’t work out the way you’d planned. You thought things would go one way and they turned out much differently. And now you’re crushed, disappointed. Actually, you’re angry – no, you’re pissed off. You can’t figure out what made them do such a thing when everything was set and settled to take off. And their attitudes! They gave you so much grief when all you were was kind and considerate. You could have spent your time doing something else, but no, you spent it trying to make that thing work and, now, look what’s happened! Not what you planned at all. It makes you so mad thinking about it you could just... just... cuss! Well, just who the blankety do they think they are blanking up your blank blank program?!
And this isn’t the first time. Everyday they mess with your thing. They just won’t leave you alone! They’ve got something to say about every little thing. And because you’re so passionate about and committed to the thing, it hurts when they toy with you. Really, what they’re doing is messing with your heart strings, pulling at them and jerking you this way and that way. Sometimes you can ignore them, most days, they’re right in your face aggravating the blank out of you. You’re so frustrated and hurt you fall on the couch and cry buckets of tears, pleading to the heavens for these beep-beeps to stop and leave you the blip-blip-blop alone.
So be angry, be sad, and never let anybody convince you it’s not okay to be angry or sad. Those are basic emotions. And never let anyone tell you that when you’re angry or sad you shouldn’t curse, cuss, or cry. Those are expressions of your emotions. Sometimes just letting it all out solves the problem, or at least alleviates the frustrations mounting inside so they don’t eat you up and cause all types of stress-related illnesses. Cuss and fuss about it; cry about it, even throw a full-fledged private tantrum, letting your legs and arms flail and your fist hit the floor repeatedly. Get you a good workout
Just be careful you don’t hurt yourself in your tirades. And be careful that when you cuss and throw fits you’re in a private place. No need of burning bridges you may still need to get the thing done.
Then, after you cuss, fuss, and cry, straighten your clothes and dry your eyes, get something cool to drink. Pray about it, ask God for help and healing (and to quickly repair any damage you caused as a result of your explosion), listen to what’s being said inside of you, then, pop your collar, go back out there and give ‘em hell while you do what you do best - your thing.
Blankety-blank blank what they’ve got to say, and never let them see you sweat!
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Big Mama (from the Showtime series “Soul Food”)
“Ba-blam!!” you slam the door as you walk in the house after another long day of grueling and pointless work. You pace for a while, then stand akimbo drumming your foot. You just can’t believe it.
Once again, things did not go your way; they didn’t work out the way you’d planned. You thought things would go one way and they turned out much differently. And now you’re crushed, disappointed. Actually, you’re angry – no, you’re pissed off. You can’t figure out what made them do such a thing when everything was set and settled to take off. And their attitudes! They gave you so much grief when all you were was kind and considerate. You could have spent your time doing something else, but no, you spent it trying to make that thing work and, now, look what’s happened! Not what you planned at all. It makes you so mad thinking about it you could just... just... cuss! Well, just who the blankety do they think they are blanking up your blank blank program?!
And this isn’t the first time. Everyday they mess with your thing. They just won’t leave you alone! They’ve got something to say about every little thing. And because you’re so passionate about and committed to the thing, it hurts when they toy with you. Really, what they’re doing is messing with your heart strings, pulling at them and jerking you this way and that way. Sometimes you can ignore them, most days, they’re right in your face aggravating the blank out of you. You’re so frustrated and hurt you fall on the couch and cry buckets of tears, pleading to the heavens for these beep-beeps to stop and leave you the blip-blip-blop alone.
So be angry, be sad, and never let anybody convince you it’s not okay to be angry or sad. Those are basic emotions. And never let anyone tell you that when you’re angry or sad you shouldn’t curse, cuss, or cry. Those are expressions of your emotions. Sometimes just letting it all out solves the problem, or at least alleviates the frustrations mounting inside so they don’t eat you up and cause all types of stress-related illnesses. Cuss and fuss about it; cry about it, even throw a full-fledged private tantrum, letting your legs and arms flail and your fist hit the floor repeatedly. Get you a good workout
Just be careful you don’t hurt yourself in your tirades. And be careful that when you cuss and throw fits you’re in a private place. No need of burning bridges you may still need to get the thing done.
Then, after you cuss, fuss, and cry, straighten your clothes and dry your eyes, get something cool to drink. Pray about it, ask God for help and healing (and to quickly repair any damage you caused as a result of your explosion), listen to what’s being said inside of you, then, pop your collar, go back out there and give ‘em hell while you do what you do best - your thing.
Blankety-blank blank what they’ve got to say, and never let them see you sweat!
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 18, 2007
When you open your heart, you are ready for communion and your lovemate appears. You aren’t looking for perfection. You see a relationship as a chance for both you and your partner to unfold and develop. When you are loving, you are doing God’s work. You are living the truth of your being; you’re in perfect balance, so you feel strong and secure. You’ve come to the relationship with a full cup. You have love bubbling up inside you, so you’re not needy, not looking for your partner to give you what you are giving yourself. Your honey’s love adds sweetness to an already satisfying life. Loving gives you grace and divine understanding. You love your partner despite any faults – because you love yourself in spite of your own.
-- Susan Taylor
Well that’s a mouthful, huh? Sounds like something from one of those relationship-building, self-help, inspirational/motivational books that’s got all the answers about how to live your life in perfect harmony with your partner, huh? The rich and affirming language probably reminds you of poetry and prose suitable for couples who dance and sway to their song every day of their loving lives, huh? You’re hearing birds chirp beautiful melodies and each song they sing accentuates the true and lasting love found and made between two people who have found a home in one another, huh?
Okay, my bad. The words aren’t that syrupy.
But they can feel like it when you’re struggling to love and accept your Self despite your collection of stumblings and shortcomings and allow someone in your life who brings the potential of true and lasting love. Those flowery words can certainly feel foreign, out of reach, and unconvincing when you feel like an empty container that can’t be filled because you can not get beyond your mistakes, how you’ve hurt before, self-pitying self-preservation, and pride. And, no matter how the one who’s trying to love you pushes, presses, and shows themselves approved, you can no more accept Susan Taylor’s words as truth than you can accept that there’s a man on the moon watching you as you read this.
Each of us is undoubtedly flawed, but each of us is still deserving of true love. We deserve to be in intimate relationships that affirm and complement who we are and make us feel as though we are supported, covered, and capable of doing anything we set our minds to simply because we’ve got true love and a great honey on our side. It is when we can nurture ourselves through our stuff, still believe we are capable and clever beings, and forgive ourselves for any frailties and mistakes that we can lovingly and unselfishly accept the love we deserve into our life and intimate space. But not before then.
Can you look beyond your faults, see beyond the obvious, know that brighter days are just beyond the bend, and work toward wholeness; or will you continue to wallow in self-pity, tear yourself apart, and stay unglued? If you do the latter, any and all words of love will seem sugary, idealistic, and worthless.
In order to receive the love you deserve from someone else, you must first give your Self the love you deserve. The same level of gentleness you expect to receive from your partner is the same, if not better, that you must give to yourself. If you can’t and don’t give it to your Self, don’t try it on somebody else. It just won’t work. I t fails every time.
The first step toward greeting the words of truth above is doing what you need to cultivate inner peace. Anything else is futile.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Susan Taylor
Well that’s a mouthful, huh? Sounds like something from one of those relationship-building, self-help, inspirational/motivational books that’s got all the answers about how to live your life in perfect harmony with your partner, huh? The rich and affirming language probably reminds you of poetry and prose suitable for couples who dance and sway to their song every day of their loving lives, huh? You’re hearing birds chirp beautiful melodies and each song they sing accentuates the true and lasting love found and made between two people who have found a home in one another, huh?
Okay, my bad. The words aren’t that syrupy.
But they can feel like it when you’re struggling to love and accept your Self despite your collection of stumblings and shortcomings and allow someone in your life who brings the potential of true and lasting love. Those flowery words can certainly feel foreign, out of reach, and unconvincing when you feel like an empty container that can’t be filled because you can not get beyond your mistakes, how you’ve hurt before, self-pitying self-preservation, and pride. And, no matter how the one who’s trying to love you pushes, presses, and shows themselves approved, you can no more accept Susan Taylor’s words as truth than you can accept that there’s a man on the moon watching you as you read this.
Each of us is undoubtedly flawed, but each of us is still deserving of true love. We deserve to be in intimate relationships that affirm and complement who we are and make us feel as though we are supported, covered, and capable of doing anything we set our minds to simply because we’ve got true love and a great honey on our side. It is when we can nurture ourselves through our stuff, still believe we are capable and clever beings, and forgive ourselves for any frailties and mistakes that we can lovingly and unselfishly accept the love we deserve into our life and intimate space. But not before then.
Can you look beyond your faults, see beyond the obvious, know that brighter days are just beyond the bend, and work toward wholeness; or will you continue to wallow in self-pity, tear yourself apart, and stay unglued? If you do the latter, any and all words of love will seem sugary, idealistic, and worthless.
In order to receive the love you deserve from someone else, you must first give your Self the love you deserve. The same level of gentleness you expect to receive from your partner is the same, if not better, that you must give to yourself. If you can’t and don’t give it to your Self, don’t try it on somebody else. It just won’t work. I t fails every time.
The first step toward greeting the words of truth above is doing what you need to cultivate inner peace. Anything else is futile.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 17, 2007
When you are standing in front of the mountain, resist the feeling of overwhelm. Move the piece of sand closest to you; that [one that] is easy to pick up.
-- Iyanla Vanzant
That project is a monumental undertaking. It’s got bits and parts and pieces to it that will take well over the allotted time and patience you’ve budgeted for. There is so much to do to make it all happen – place a call here, meet with these people, then meet again with another set of people; form many mini focus groups, conduct market surveys; draft a proposal; run the numbers with the accountant; hash over legalities with the attorneys; check in again with management; make sure the signatures all happen on the same day; develop the brochure, write the press release, send the obligatory thank you messages. Just thinking about it has made you tired, stressed, and wanting to stick your head back under the covers.
For the hundredth time you’ve told your kid to clean her room and it seems no threat convinces her of the seriousness of your command. “Clean your room!” you bark. “Do it now!” you demand, but nothing happens except tears, obstinance, and frustration on both ends.
You love him, he loves you, and you know right now, at this very moment, he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Thus, you commit yourself to him, leave your home and your job just to be in a place near him. Two months later you are headed to mama and daddy’s house, insulted, disappointed, and broke because he told you he was not ready, needed more time, and was scared out of his mind.
We always see the big picture and try to take on the whole thing at once instead of breaking the task into small and manageable parts. In most cases we bite off more than we can chew and try to swallow it whole with nothing to wash it down but exhaustion and exasperation. There’s no way to accomplish that big project without a list, a competent team to delegate to, and a good night’s rest each night. Without any of them, how could you successfully accomplish the project? And, it’s almost impossible for a child to follow a hollow plan like “clean your room!” without a specific flowchart – “put your dirty clothes in the hamper; close the hamper. Pick up each crayon, marker, and piece of artwork you’ve created and place them in the art basket. Make you bed with the sheet pulled all the way to the top of the bed with the ends tucked under the mattress, then put your three favorite dolls on the bed and the others in the toy chest, ...”
And, of course, when you take the relationship slowly, step-by-step, and little-by-little, you get the opportunity to court, as grandma an’ ‘em used to say. You get the chance to look at him as he manages his life, watch yourself as you negotiate a relationship with him, figure out if you can tolerate his stuff, let him determine whether yours is within livable limits, and get to know most of what you and he need to know in order to determine whether you even want to discuss a future together. All that does not happen in a day’s time, and, in some cases, even within a year.
Don’t try to do it all immediately. Take your time and ask for help in getting the big things accomplished. Chip away slowly at the mountain, develop and follow your plan, and in time you’ll find that the mountain is now only a hill, or better yet, a level piece of land. Remember climbing anything makes your calves strong and you need that physical strength to keep you moving and chipping away at the other mountains.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Iyanla Vanzant
That project is a monumental undertaking. It’s got bits and parts and pieces to it that will take well over the allotted time and patience you’ve budgeted for. There is so much to do to make it all happen – place a call here, meet with these people, then meet again with another set of people; form many mini focus groups, conduct market surveys; draft a proposal; run the numbers with the accountant; hash over legalities with the attorneys; check in again with management; make sure the signatures all happen on the same day; develop the brochure, write the press release, send the obligatory thank you messages. Just thinking about it has made you tired, stressed, and wanting to stick your head back under the covers.
For the hundredth time you’ve told your kid to clean her room and it seems no threat convinces her of the seriousness of your command. “Clean your room!” you bark. “Do it now!” you demand, but nothing happens except tears, obstinance, and frustration on both ends.
You love him, he loves you, and you know right now, at this very moment, he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Thus, you commit yourself to him, leave your home and your job just to be in a place near him. Two months later you are headed to mama and daddy’s house, insulted, disappointed, and broke because he told you he was not ready, needed more time, and was scared out of his mind.
We always see the big picture and try to take on the whole thing at once instead of breaking the task into small and manageable parts. In most cases we bite off more than we can chew and try to swallow it whole with nothing to wash it down but exhaustion and exasperation. There’s no way to accomplish that big project without a list, a competent team to delegate to, and a good night’s rest each night. Without any of them, how could you successfully accomplish the project? And, it’s almost impossible for a child to follow a hollow plan like “clean your room!” without a specific flowchart – “put your dirty clothes in the hamper; close the hamper. Pick up each crayon, marker, and piece of artwork you’ve created and place them in the art basket. Make you bed with the sheet pulled all the way to the top of the bed with the ends tucked under the mattress, then put your three favorite dolls on the bed and the others in the toy chest, ...”
And, of course, when you take the relationship slowly, step-by-step, and little-by-little, you get the opportunity to court, as grandma an’ ‘em used to say. You get the chance to look at him as he manages his life, watch yourself as you negotiate a relationship with him, figure out if you can tolerate his stuff, let him determine whether yours is within livable limits, and get to know most of what you and he need to know in order to determine whether you even want to discuss a future together. All that does not happen in a day’s time, and, in some cases, even within a year.
Don’t try to do it all immediately. Take your time and ask for help in getting the big things accomplished. Chip away slowly at the mountain, develop and follow your plan, and in time you’ll find that the mountain is now only a hill, or better yet, a level piece of land. Remember climbing anything makes your calves strong and you need that physical strength to keep you moving and chipping away at the other mountains.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 16, 2007
There is a moment in each day that Satan can not find.
-- Blake
There is a moment in each day that Satan cannot find. When is that moment for you?
Is it in the first hours of the new morning when the birds are waking, the dewdrops are freshest, the moon is departing for the sun, and your senses are most in tuned with creation? Is it when your waking thoughts are tender as they come alert, your breathing is steady and peaceful, and your eyes have yet to open to wipe away sleep’s serenity? Or is it in the ending hours of your day when all is well in your abode, the lights are out, and the tranquility of sleep embraces you once again? Can the enemies of worry and discord be found in either of those moments?
Maybe the enemy cannot enter in the time spent in conscious and righteous communion with your family and friends. Maybe the enemies of inattentiveness and negligence can find no space to counter the unconditional regard family members show one another when each is listening intently, touching and being touched, and loving wholeheartedly. Perhaps there’s no space for the enemy of judgment in the honest exchanges between friends whose sole agenda is to love, support, and help one another reach their greatest potential. Enemies are far from present in those moments.
Even in pain and grief, the enemies of despondency and hopelessness can have a hard time getting inside to do damage when you are loving your Self by being kind to your heart, gentle with your spirit, and forgiving your mistakes, oversights, and imperfections. The enemy is blocked behind that covering.
In your communion with God, when you keep you heart focused on God’s movement in you, the enemies of distraction and faithlessness can’t even come close to making an appearance. The enemy’s light is dimmed and put out when you sincerely go before God and place your Self in Him. Enemies are shut down like water on fire, evaporating like steam to travel elsewhere.
Whenever that moment is for you, stay in it, bask in it. Breathe it deeply! Praise God for it! The moment, minute, hour, or day is so sweet and magnificent that even if the enemy could find it, the enemy can in no way penetrate it and fill it with darkness and disquiet. There are certainly moments when the enemy is present and at work, but whatever we had to do to keep the enemy out at specified times is the same thing that’s necessary at all times so that we won’t be squashed by the sure pervasiveness of the enemy.
There is a moment in each day that Satan, the enemy, cannot find. When is your moment?
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Blake
There is a moment in each day that Satan cannot find. When is that moment for you?
Is it in the first hours of the new morning when the birds are waking, the dewdrops are freshest, the moon is departing for the sun, and your senses are most in tuned with creation? Is it when your waking thoughts are tender as they come alert, your breathing is steady and peaceful, and your eyes have yet to open to wipe away sleep’s serenity? Or is it in the ending hours of your day when all is well in your abode, the lights are out, and the tranquility of sleep embraces you once again? Can the enemies of worry and discord be found in either of those moments?
Maybe the enemy cannot enter in the time spent in conscious and righteous communion with your family and friends. Maybe the enemies of inattentiveness and negligence can find no space to counter the unconditional regard family members show one another when each is listening intently, touching and being touched, and loving wholeheartedly. Perhaps there’s no space for the enemy of judgment in the honest exchanges between friends whose sole agenda is to love, support, and help one another reach their greatest potential. Enemies are far from present in those moments.
Even in pain and grief, the enemies of despondency and hopelessness can have a hard time getting inside to do damage when you are loving your Self by being kind to your heart, gentle with your spirit, and forgiving your mistakes, oversights, and imperfections. The enemy is blocked behind that covering.
In your communion with God, when you keep you heart focused on God’s movement in you, the enemies of distraction and faithlessness can’t even come close to making an appearance. The enemy’s light is dimmed and put out when you sincerely go before God and place your Self in Him. Enemies are shut down like water on fire, evaporating like steam to travel elsewhere.
Whenever that moment is for you, stay in it, bask in it. Breathe it deeply! Praise God for it! The moment, minute, hour, or day is so sweet and magnificent that even if the enemy could find it, the enemy can in no way penetrate it and fill it with darkness and disquiet. There are certainly moments when the enemy is present and at work, but whatever we had to do to keep the enemy out at specified times is the same thing that’s necessary at all times so that we won’t be squashed by the sure pervasiveness of the enemy.
There is a moment in each day that Satan, the enemy, cannot find. When is your moment?
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 13, 2007
I refuse to be judged by the values of another culture. I am a Black woman, and I will stand as best I can in that imagery.
-- Bernice Reagon, “Black Women and Liberation Movements”
The assaults of late on Black women are not new. Since we entered this country, we’ve been repeatedly diminished, made invisible, criticized, denigrated, defined, and labeled to fit images that served to strip us of our innate power and strength. We’ve suffered through a myriad of assaults on our hair; facial features; hips and butts; and big, boisterous, opinionated, and aggressive personalities, attitudes, and expressions – all of which, to this country, are too big and too much which equate to us not being enough. It’s some hard work defending ourselves while trying to live good and honest lives amid the onslaught of attacks. Makes you wanna holler!
So what are we to do? How do we stop the assaults? Well, really, we can’t. People will say, do, and feel as they wish, no matter how many times or how much they’re penalized, yelled at, or told how nasty their assaults are. You just can’t stop the assaults.
Or can you?
I’m convinced that what’s most important in any situation is your response and reaction in it. When you’re trounced and judged because of your race, gender, ethnicity, sexuality, age, socioeconomic status, whatever, and you find yourself angry and insulted, and your only remedy is to require an apology then demand they never be seen in public again, you’re only operating on the surface of the issue, and on that easy level, nothing gets resolved. At least not for you.
In order for the assaults to no longer affect us, we’ve got to look deeper at how they impact us, why they chafe so, and how we protect ourselves so that the steady stream of attacks simply roll off our backs and not slip into our epidermis to further infest us with more debilitating doubt about our worth, beauty, femininity, and capabilities. We’ve got to ask and search ourselves about what was said or done that caused the pang and twinge in us when we heard or saw it. Was there something we recognized? Were we reminded of the ancient and deep-rooted perceptions and notions of us created in slavery and passed down from generation to generation; perceptions that we ingested consciously and unconsciously that we’ve not examined, worked out, or stopped and which, in due course, have caused raw, sore, and angry places within us that make every rude and discourteous uttering, sound bite, and gesture an attack on who we are and can’t help but be – Black women?
Have we accepted everything derogatory ever said about us and allowed it to be our measuring stick for the way society sees and regards us? Instead of shielding and protecting ourselves from the assaults by defining ourselves for ourselves and not becoming complacent when the subject is not about us, we cry foul when the assaults come raining in then demand no one has a right to do or say such things. But really, they have just as much right to say and do offensive things as you have right to protect your psyche and esteem from being turned upside down by the barrage of offenses.
Of course, this is not to suggest the assaults should be ignored. On the contrary, they should be dealt with and the perpetrators held accountable. But only on the premise that the assaults are rude, an intrusion to the function and fabric of society, and offensive to every single person who hears and sees them, not because they’ve hurt us and bent a little more of our already fragile collective esteem.
It doesn’t matter what anyone says or feels about you; they’re going to say it and feel it forever. What matters is what you respond to and how you allow it to shape or misshape your life. Maybe if they see it doesn’t deter us or really change who we are or how we produce and contribute, just maybe they’d stop assaulting us.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Bernice Reagon, “Black Women and Liberation Movements”
The assaults of late on Black women are not new. Since we entered this country, we’ve been repeatedly diminished, made invisible, criticized, denigrated, defined, and labeled to fit images that served to strip us of our innate power and strength. We’ve suffered through a myriad of assaults on our hair; facial features; hips and butts; and big, boisterous, opinionated, and aggressive personalities, attitudes, and expressions – all of which, to this country, are too big and too much which equate to us not being enough. It’s some hard work defending ourselves while trying to live good and honest lives amid the onslaught of attacks. Makes you wanna holler!
So what are we to do? How do we stop the assaults? Well, really, we can’t. People will say, do, and feel as they wish, no matter how many times or how much they’re penalized, yelled at, or told how nasty their assaults are. You just can’t stop the assaults.
Or can you?
I’m convinced that what’s most important in any situation is your response and reaction in it. When you’re trounced and judged because of your race, gender, ethnicity, sexuality, age, socioeconomic status, whatever, and you find yourself angry and insulted, and your only remedy is to require an apology then demand they never be seen in public again, you’re only operating on the surface of the issue, and on that easy level, nothing gets resolved. At least not for you.
In order for the assaults to no longer affect us, we’ve got to look deeper at how they impact us, why they chafe so, and how we protect ourselves so that the steady stream of attacks simply roll off our backs and not slip into our epidermis to further infest us with more debilitating doubt about our worth, beauty, femininity, and capabilities. We’ve got to ask and search ourselves about what was said or done that caused the pang and twinge in us when we heard or saw it. Was there something we recognized? Were we reminded of the ancient and deep-rooted perceptions and notions of us created in slavery and passed down from generation to generation; perceptions that we ingested consciously and unconsciously that we’ve not examined, worked out, or stopped and which, in due course, have caused raw, sore, and angry places within us that make every rude and discourteous uttering, sound bite, and gesture an attack on who we are and can’t help but be – Black women?
Have we accepted everything derogatory ever said about us and allowed it to be our measuring stick for the way society sees and regards us? Instead of shielding and protecting ourselves from the assaults by defining ourselves for ourselves and not becoming complacent when the subject is not about us, we cry foul when the assaults come raining in then demand no one has a right to do or say such things. But really, they have just as much right to say and do offensive things as you have right to protect your psyche and esteem from being turned upside down by the barrage of offenses.
Of course, this is not to suggest the assaults should be ignored. On the contrary, they should be dealt with and the perpetrators held accountable. But only on the premise that the assaults are rude, an intrusion to the function and fabric of society, and offensive to every single person who hears and sees them, not because they’ve hurt us and bent a little more of our already fragile collective esteem.
It doesn’t matter what anyone says or feels about you; they’re going to say it and feel it forever. What matters is what you respond to and how you allow it to shape or misshape your life. Maybe if they see it doesn’t deter us or really change who we are or how we produce and contribute, just maybe they’d stop assaulting us.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 12, 2007
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we take so long to begin living it.
-- Author Unknown
The turquoise seas of Cozymel, Mexico where the seaweed floats ashore each morning. The length, history, and adventure of Route 66. The waves of color in the Alaskan night sky. A well-maintained and healthy body. Loving someone with unbridled passion and completely immersing yourself in the love they’re giving you. One day, you anticipate, you’ll get to enjoy all these things. In the meantime, you’ve got to pay the mortgage, childcare, food bill, car note, and every other little thing. Cozymel, abs of steel, and committed love will just have to wait.
But how long will they have to wait? So far they’ve waited so long for your time and attention, they don’t even register anymore as desires. They’re merely faint musings that seem more like fantasy.
Will you wait so long to travel to the places you’d like to visit that by the time you get there, you’re unable to get around without a cane, walker, or Hoveround? Will you put off loving and being loved for so long that you end up settling for any love that comes along just to experience that energy before you perish? Will you wait for the kids to grow up and leave home before you actually do the things you’ve longed to do?
Who says the kids’ll even leave home? Who says you’ll even have time?
All we have is right now, and right now is the time to live, do, and be. Even if it’s a small thing or a short distance, get the thing and visit that place now. Don’t wait. Don’t put it off. Start living and enjoying life now. The clock is ticking and your time is running out.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Author Unknown
The turquoise seas of Cozymel, Mexico where the seaweed floats ashore each morning. The length, history, and adventure of Route 66. The waves of color in the Alaskan night sky. A well-maintained and healthy body. Loving someone with unbridled passion and completely immersing yourself in the love they’re giving you. One day, you anticipate, you’ll get to enjoy all these things. In the meantime, you’ve got to pay the mortgage, childcare, food bill, car note, and every other little thing. Cozymel, abs of steel, and committed love will just have to wait.
But how long will they have to wait? So far they’ve waited so long for your time and attention, they don’t even register anymore as desires. They’re merely faint musings that seem more like fantasy.
Will you wait so long to travel to the places you’d like to visit that by the time you get there, you’re unable to get around without a cane, walker, or Hoveround? Will you put off loving and being loved for so long that you end up settling for any love that comes along just to experience that energy before you perish? Will you wait for the kids to grow up and leave home before you actually do the things you’ve longed to do?
Who says the kids’ll even leave home? Who says you’ll even have time?
All we have is right now, and right now is the time to live, do, and be. Even if it’s a small thing or a short distance, get the thing and visit that place now. Don’t wait. Don’t put it off. Start living and enjoying life now. The clock is ticking and your time is running out.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 11, 2007
The stone has been rolled away. Don’t trip over the pebbles.
-- Rev. Neely Williams
You are standing in the clearing and the weather looks fine – not a cloud in the sky. You came through your wilderness experience that was not only full of grueling emotional, spiritual, and physical challenges, it also presented valuable opportunities to turn your life around and walk in newness of life. And so you’ve set out to do that.
Except, nobody believes you’ve changed. Nobody understands your transformation. On top of that, you’re not even sure how to live in this new way. Should you walk this way and talk that way? How should you dress? Should your new slogan be, “I’m blessed and highly favored” when people ask how you’re doing? What should you do to convince everybody that you’ve changed? And just why don’t they believe you’ve changed? Were you that bad before that it seems highly unlikely for you to be anybody other than who you were? You weren’t really that bad, certainly not as bad as a whole bunch of folk who will remain nameless. Who do these people think they are not believing you have changed? Can’t they look at you and tell you’re somebody new? You’ll just have to show them, huh?
The stone, that huge rock that blocked the entrance of Jesus’ tomb, was been rolled away and pushed aside. Underneath it and beside it were pebbles, sand, and dirt. When Mary Magdalene and the disciples went to the tomb looking for Jesus and only found His wrappings, they got caught up in the pebbles – believing the person that spoke to them was the gardener, trying to beat one another to the tomb to actually get a look see that Jesus really wasn’t there – instead of remembering Jesus’ own words about His death and resurrection which, of course, was the bigger picture.
So it is with us. After our own transformation, we get caught up on the pebbles, the small stuff that keeps us from focusing on the big picture, the real point of having gone through and survived our storm. We forget that we didn’t go through it to remain stagnated or to even care what others think of who we are and where we’re going. We made it through so that we could have a clearer and fuller life experience, one that is free from uncertainly and built upon the promises God made to us so that we could go out into the world and tell everybody how good God is.
When Jesus went to heaven, we were made whole. Don’t cut yourself in pieces by sweating the small stuff and tripping over the pebbles. There’s no need to focus on anything other than the promise of salvation and life eternal. Nothing else is more important.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Rev. Neely Williams
You are standing in the clearing and the weather looks fine – not a cloud in the sky. You came through your wilderness experience that was not only full of grueling emotional, spiritual, and physical challenges, it also presented valuable opportunities to turn your life around and walk in newness of life. And so you’ve set out to do that.
Except, nobody believes you’ve changed. Nobody understands your transformation. On top of that, you’re not even sure how to live in this new way. Should you walk this way and talk that way? How should you dress? Should your new slogan be, “I’m blessed and highly favored” when people ask how you’re doing? What should you do to convince everybody that you’ve changed? And just why don’t they believe you’ve changed? Were you that bad before that it seems highly unlikely for you to be anybody other than who you were? You weren’t really that bad, certainly not as bad as a whole bunch of folk who will remain nameless. Who do these people think they are not believing you have changed? Can’t they look at you and tell you’re somebody new? You’ll just have to show them, huh?
The stone, that huge rock that blocked the entrance of Jesus’ tomb, was been rolled away and pushed aside. Underneath it and beside it were pebbles, sand, and dirt. When Mary Magdalene and the disciples went to the tomb looking for Jesus and only found His wrappings, they got caught up in the pebbles – believing the person that spoke to them was the gardener, trying to beat one another to the tomb to actually get a look see that Jesus really wasn’t there – instead of remembering Jesus’ own words about His death and resurrection which, of course, was the bigger picture.
So it is with us. After our own transformation, we get caught up on the pebbles, the small stuff that keeps us from focusing on the big picture, the real point of having gone through and survived our storm. We forget that we didn’t go through it to remain stagnated or to even care what others think of who we are and where we’re going. We made it through so that we could have a clearer and fuller life experience, one that is free from uncertainly and built upon the promises God made to us so that we could go out into the world and tell everybody how good God is.
When Jesus went to heaven, we were made whole. Don’t cut yourself in pieces by sweating the small stuff and tripping over the pebbles. There’s no need to focus on anything other than the promise of salvation and life eternal. Nothing else is more important.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 10, 2007
Such as I am, I am a precious gift...
-- Zora Neale Hurston
It doesn’t matter whether you’re short, tall, fat or thin, you are special. From the top of your head (nappy or not) to the tip of your toe (crusty or not), every single thing about is precious, priceless, and near perfect. God made you nothing less than in His perfect image and even with your flaws, shortcomings, mistakes, and annoying idiosyncrasies, you are still awesome!
You may have warts, pimples that explode upon impact, perpetually sour breath, or sweat glands that overact even when you’re not active. Your feet may smell, your personality may be unpleasant, you may live with a devastatingly debilitating disease, your sexuality may make others uncomfortable, or you may live well below the poverty line and scrape and scrap your way through life. You are still a precious gift, and there’s not a soul who can take that away from you.
This ultimately means you must live as though you’re a precious gift. You have to treat your Self gently, kindly, and with the care you’d afford the finest china. You must honor your entire packaging, the wrappings and the contents alike. You can never allow your “bow” to be crumpled when you give yourself to someone, and you must be sure that what you’re giving of your gifted Self embodies that which is special, priceless, and precious. Most importantly, you can never let anybody convince you that you aren’t a gift and thus have you acting like you are just something regular and ordinary. There is nothing about you that is regular or ordinary.
The world needs the valuable gift of you, whatever your stuffing and covering. Keep being (and believing in) the gift that others need and appreciate.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Zora Neale Hurston
It doesn’t matter whether you’re short, tall, fat or thin, you are special. From the top of your head (nappy or not) to the tip of your toe (crusty or not), every single thing about is precious, priceless, and near perfect. God made you nothing less than in His perfect image and even with your flaws, shortcomings, mistakes, and annoying idiosyncrasies, you are still awesome!
You may have warts, pimples that explode upon impact, perpetually sour breath, or sweat glands that overact even when you’re not active. Your feet may smell, your personality may be unpleasant, you may live with a devastatingly debilitating disease, your sexuality may make others uncomfortable, or you may live well below the poverty line and scrape and scrap your way through life. You are still a precious gift, and there’s not a soul who can take that away from you.
This ultimately means you must live as though you’re a precious gift. You have to treat your Self gently, kindly, and with the care you’d afford the finest china. You must honor your entire packaging, the wrappings and the contents alike. You can never allow your “bow” to be crumpled when you give yourself to someone, and you must be sure that what you’re giving of your gifted Self embodies that which is special, priceless, and precious. Most importantly, you can never let anybody convince you that you aren’t a gift and thus have you acting like you are just something regular and ordinary. There is nothing about you that is regular or ordinary.
The world needs the valuable gift of you, whatever your stuffing and covering. Keep being (and believing in) the gift that others need and appreciate.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 9, 2007
Difficulties prepare you for victory. Disease prepares you for health. Confusion prepares you for clarity. Hopelessness prepares you for purpose. Failure prepares you for success. Poverty prepares you for prosperity. Criticism prepares you for acceptance. Pain prepares you for joy. Anger prepares you for forgiveness. Ignorance prepares you for the truth. Loneliness prepares you for love...
-- Iyanla Vanzant
In this Lenten season, you travailed thoughtfully and intentionally inside the jungle of your personal wilderness. You looked under rocks; dug through old and unfertile clay soil; and uprooted weeds and other life forms you couldn’t name or provided no fragrance, appeal, or function. You’ve convened and struggled with the wild animals of emotion, ego, and attitude, and on some days, you lost the fight and came up even surlier than before. Other days you conquered, or at least tamed, the beasts and attained complete control over these wayward creatures. Today, you’re grateful for the work you’ve done, and the clearing out of this wilderness is just up ahead.
But don’t leave the wilderness empty-handed. There are treasures you’ve found that you can’t leave behind.
In the storm, when you dug through fear, you found feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt; you found the triple threats of shame, fault, and guilt. You uncovered disappointments of long ago and the mistrust that comes from harboring this disillusionment. Underneath all this was a lack of faith and belief that God loves you just as you are and placed you on this earth to fulfill a purpose. But you also discovered the power of surrender and gave up critical self-judgment in favor of self-acceptance and compassion for your imperfect Self. Consequently you recovered faith, both in God and your Self, and now you know all is well and will be well even when you can’t see it.
In the deep of the wilderness, you peeled away the layers off loneliness and found years of drama strategically created to mask or divert the loneliness, and dead, dry bones kept alive via the strands and threads of your longings. Peeling back desperation, you found depression, and stripping away depression, you found raw and overwhelming feelings of abandonment that stemmed from some distant experience and the vague memory of it. But, then you discovered you weren’t really alone, that Jesus sat with you at every moment, and, that when you sat quietly, you could actually hear Jesus calling you to come from behind your lonely places, filling you with every single thing you needed to feel in good company. You found the ability to transform your thinking about being alone and appreciated that periods of solitude were opportunities to meditate, reflect, and be still so that you could begin to welcome other people and things into your life without involving them in scenes and situations.
While wandering around the dry lands of your valley, you took the top off your disorder and found disobedience to God and the laws of nature. You looked at your mistakes and carelessness and saw that they were marked by impatience and imbalance. At the bottom of the barrel you again discovered fear – fear of failure, fear of success, fear of abandonment, and a busload of other worries. But in the chaos, you realized how everything is connected in some way and discovered that maybe there was no need to start everything over; perhaps you could piece together parts to create order. You accept that you must be accountable for and to these parts which ultimately requires instituting inactive, yet available, discipline and real love for your Self. You know now that there is an alignment between the order of your issues and proximity to God and you are now convinced that harmony can exist in this life of yours.
You found gratitude where there was bitterness; healing where there was hell; and discernment where nothing was clear and everything bore a question. Pack your bag full of what you found; it’s all useful for the rest of your life’s journey.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Iyanla Vanzant
In this Lenten season, you travailed thoughtfully and intentionally inside the jungle of your personal wilderness. You looked under rocks; dug through old and unfertile clay soil; and uprooted weeds and other life forms you couldn’t name or provided no fragrance, appeal, or function. You’ve convened and struggled with the wild animals of emotion, ego, and attitude, and on some days, you lost the fight and came up even surlier than before. Other days you conquered, or at least tamed, the beasts and attained complete control over these wayward creatures. Today, you’re grateful for the work you’ve done, and the clearing out of this wilderness is just up ahead.
But don’t leave the wilderness empty-handed. There are treasures you’ve found that you can’t leave behind.
In the storm, when you dug through fear, you found feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt; you found the triple threats of shame, fault, and guilt. You uncovered disappointments of long ago and the mistrust that comes from harboring this disillusionment. Underneath all this was a lack of faith and belief that God loves you just as you are and placed you on this earth to fulfill a purpose. But you also discovered the power of surrender and gave up critical self-judgment in favor of self-acceptance and compassion for your imperfect Self. Consequently you recovered faith, both in God and your Self, and now you know all is well and will be well even when you can’t see it.
In the deep of the wilderness, you peeled away the layers off loneliness and found years of drama strategically created to mask or divert the loneliness, and dead, dry bones kept alive via the strands and threads of your longings. Peeling back desperation, you found depression, and stripping away depression, you found raw and overwhelming feelings of abandonment that stemmed from some distant experience and the vague memory of it. But, then you discovered you weren’t really alone, that Jesus sat with you at every moment, and, that when you sat quietly, you could actually hear Jesus calling you to come from behind your lonely places, filling you with every single thing you needed to feel in good company. You found the ability to transform your thinking about being alone and appreciated that periods of solitude were opportunities to meditate, reflect, and be still so that you could begin to welcome other people and things into your life without involving them in scenes and situations.
While wandering around the dry lands of your valley, you took the top off your disorder and found disobedience to God and the laws of nature. You looked at your mistakes and carelessness and saw that they were marked by impatience and imbalance. At the bottom of the barrel you again discovered fear – fear of failure, fear of success, fear of abandonment, and a busload of other worries. But in the chaos, you realized how everything is connected in some way and discovered that maybe there was no need to start everything over; perhaps you could piece together parts to create order. You accept that you must be accountable for and to these parts which ultimately requires instituting inactive, yet available, discipline and real love for your Self. You know now that there is an alignment between the order of your issues and proximity to God and you are now convinced that harmony can exist in this life of yours.
You found gratitude where there was bitterness; healing where there was hell; and discernment where nothing was clear and everything bore a question. Pack your bag full of what you found; it’s all useful for the rest of your life’s journey.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 6, 2007
All of us have “Good Friday” moments in which a stone has been rolled against the door or our despair, our doubts, our disappointments and defeats. No escape seems possible. But thanks be to Christ and his example, we are delivered out of the finality of suffering and death.
-- E. Anne Henning Byfield
Our suffering, our pain, the tarnishing affects of our stuff, won’t last forever – Jesus made that so. When He came to earth, the promises of peace, salvation, forgiveness, and everlasting life were made to us, and that covenant is with us always to grasp and own even when we’re at the deepest, darkest point or our grim and painful stuff.
As Jesus lived His life on earth, He continually showed us definitive examples of how to live, love, and serve so that we, too, can find favor in our Father’s eyes. Amid unbelievers, hypocrites, and persecutors, Jesus kept focus on His purpose and never stopped living the mission set before Him, even when He was in the worst pain imaginable and felt God had abandoned Him.
In His dying, Jesus freed us, made us whole, and gave us reasons to look forward to our tomorrows. When He ascended into heaven, opening its gates for even the most stained souls, Jesus gave us equal access to the Kingdom of God.
So there’s no reason to hold on to the pain. There’s no reason our hardships should keep us downtrodden or define us and our life’s journey. There’s light in the wilderness that shows the clearing that leads to deliverance from the jungles we’d occupied. We’ve been given a way out, up, and over, and so long as we believe with our whole heart, mind, and body; press on despite the quicksand, tangle of wild life, and other jungle weaponry; and reach for even the hem of Jesus, we are destined to overcome, be more than conquerors, and bask in precious victory!
Our wilderness experience is coming to an end. Praise be for deliverance!
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- E. Anne Henning Byfield
Our suffering, our pain, the tarnishing affects of our stuff, won’t last forever – Jesus made that so. When He came to earth, the promises of peace, salvation, forgiveness, and everlasting life were made to us, and that covenant is with us always to grasp and own even when we’re at the deepest, darkest point or our grim and painful stuff.
As Jesus lived His life on earth, He continually showed us definitive examples of how to live, love, and serve so that we, too, can find favor in our Father’s eyes. Amid unbelievers, hypocrites, and persecutors, Jesus kept focus on His purpose and never stopped living the mission set before Him, even when He was in the worst pain imaginable and felt God had abandoned Him.
In His dying, Jesus freed us, made us whole, and gave us reasons to look forward to our tomorrows. When He ascended into heaven, opening its gates for even the most stained souls, Jesus gave us equal access to the Kingdom of God.
So there’s no reason to hold on to the pain. There’s no reason our hardships should keep us downtrodden or define us and our life’s journey. There’s light in the wilderness that shows the clearing that leads to deliverance from the jungles we’d occupied. We’ve been given a way out, up, and over, and so long as we believe with our whole heart, mind, and body; press on despite the quicksand, tangle of wild life, and other jungle weaponry; and reach for even the hem of Jesus, we are destined to overcome, be more than conquerors, and bask in precious victory!
Our wilderness experience is coming to an end. Praise be for deliverance!
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 5, 2007
If you are having a bad day, get another one and get it quick.
-- Rissie Harris
It was cold this morning when you got out of bed. On the way to the bathroom, you stepped over your kids’ toys, the same toys you kept reminding them to pick up last night. Geez, who left the seat up, and why are you the only one who ever replaces the toilet tissue?!
You had to yell at each kid at least 7 times for them to get a move on or they’d be late for school. Somehow the coffee beans didn’t fully brew so they floated around your coffee cup, leaving specks of black in your mouth and stuck to and between your teeth. And you cannot, no matter how you angle your head and the floss, get that piece of leftover chicken from between your back teeth. It’s uncomfortable and it aches. And what’s that pain in your knee about?
The news reports said taxes were going up today. Yesterday, your boss said there’s a freeze on salary increases. Gas prices are at an all-time high; your gas tank and wallet are on empty. Where are the keys to the car? Why aren’t the kids ready? Who left the milk out of the refrigerator? Did you pay the light bill? Where’s the invoice? Who’s that yelling? You’re out of Advil! Why aren’t the kids ready?!
You’re having a stressful day and it’s not even 8:00 a.m. yet. At this rate, what’ll the rest of your day be like?
Stop right now. Take a deep breath. Deeper. Hold it for 10 seconds. While you’re holding it, pray, “Jesus, this day is your day. It is a great day and nothing in it can frustrate, stress, or defeat me.” Let the breath go. Take another deep breath, say it again, ““Jesus, this day is your day. It is a great day and nothing in it can frustrate, stress, or defeat me.” Let the breath go. Do this as many times as you need to, each time allowing yourself to come down and feel calm.
Now, start over, right where you are. Slow down, do one thing at a time. No multi-tasking, this is not the day for your superpowers. Instead focus your attention on one issue until it’s resolved or filed. You may not finish all you’d intended, you might even get behind schedule. But realize nothing gets done well when you are frustrated and distracted, and you owe it to yourself and those around you to give and do your very best. Besides, you deserve one day to go in slow motion. At least you changed how your day was unfolding.
Tomorrow when you get up, it may still be cold, the kids may be just as slow, and the economy will still be out of your favor, but at least you gave yourself permission today to start it over and slow it down. Who knows, you may decide that tomorrow and the days to follow should be spent in this mode.
Or, you can squash all this, go home sick, and just start over tomorrow.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Rissie Harris
It was cold this morning when you got out of bed. On the way to the bathroom, you stepped over your kids’ toys, the same toys you kept reminding them to pick up last night. Geez, who left the seat up, and why are you the only one who ever replaces the toilet tissue?!
You had to yell at each kid at least 7 times for them to get a move on or they’d be late for school. Somehow the coffee beans didn’t fully brew so they floated around your coffee cup, leaving specks of black in your mouth and stuck to and between your teeth. And you cannot, no matter how you angle your head and the floss, get that piece of leftover chicken from between your back teeth. It’s uncomfortable and it aches. And what’s that pain in your knee about?
The news reports said taxes were going up today. Yesterday, your boss said there’s a freeze on salary increases. Gas prices are at an all-time high; your gas tank and wallet are on empty. Where are the keys to the car? Why aren’t the kids ready? Who left the milk out of the refrigerator? Did you pay the light bill? Where’s the invoice? Who’s that yelling? You’re out of Advil! Why aren’t the kids ready?!
You’re having a stressful day and it’s not even 8:00 a.m. yet. At this rate, what’ll the rest of your day be like?
Stop right now. Take a deep breath. Deeper. Hold it for 10 seconds. While you’re holding it, pray, “Jesus, this day is your day. It is a great day and nothing in it can frustrate, stress, or defeat me.” Let the breath go. Take another deep breath, say it again, ““Jesus, this day is your day. It is a great day and nothing in it can frustrate, stress, or defeat me.” Let the breath go. Do this as many times as you need to, each time allowing yourself to come down and feel calm.
Now, start over, right where you are. Slow down, do one thing at a time. No multi-tasking, this is not the day for your superpowers. Instead focus your attention on one issue until it’s resolved or filed. You may not finish all you’d intended, you might even get behind schedule. But realize nothing gets done well when you are frustrated and distracted, and you owe it to yourself and those around you to give and do your very best. Besides, you deserve one day to go in slow motion. At least you changed how your day was unfolding.
Tomorrow when you get up, it may still be cold, the kids may be just as slow, and the economy will still be out of your favor, but at least you gave yourself permission today to start it over and slow it down. Who knows, you may decide that tomorrow and the days to follow should be spent in this mode.
Or, you can squash all this, go home sick, and just start over tomorrow.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 4, 2007
Sometimes you just have to sit with your pain before you can release it.
-- Anonymous
This pain and its frustrations won’t go away. You’ve lived with them for a long time. At times, you wear your pain like a broach over the heart or use it as a shield blocking anything, good and bad, from entering or penetrating your soul. You’ve given the pain arms, legs, and a brain, and even wear it like an old tattered robe – it covers, but it also exposes you to the elements and questioning eyes. You hate the pain, hate the way it makes you feel, hate its control over your life, but you live with it anyway.
To get rid of it, you’ve got to look at it and feel it. Sit with it.
Okay, yeah, it’s hard to just sit with pain. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t exist and we wouldn’t be having this discourse, right? The pain hurts and it’s ugly, so we run from it. We run and deny it, giving time and attention instead to issues and situations that purposely distract and distance us from the pain, our Selves, and any other thing that brings us discomfort.
But you can only do that for so long and you either examine the core of the pain, or you find your Self succumbing to habits and behaviors that take your conscious mind to another place, a place that numbs the affects of pain and its consequences. Alcohol, drugs, work, whatever the vice, you’re looking for something to freeze and dull the pain, if only temporarily. Or, maybe you find yourself trying to fill the voids and emptiness left by pain, and sex or the security of a relationship have become the bandages you repeatedly misuse to cover up, pour in the gaps and holes, and hide you from your pain. But when unsettled pain erupts and surfaces like blood from a fresh cut, reminding you of its existence, it not only knocks the wind from you, it also takes your partner(s) down with you. Like truth, pain crushed to earth, rises again and again, and it doesn’t stop until it is examined and resolved.
Thus, it takes courage, self-will, and Jesus to sit with your pain, open it up, look it in the eye, pull it apart piece by piece, and thoughtfully and lovingly put every discovery in its proper place, no matter how long it takes or how badly it hurts. Intentionally sitting with your pain gives you pause and room for reflection, and it’s in that quiet space that you hear God giving you answers to the lingering prayers of your heart, salve to relieve your hurts, and divine healing from all that troubles you.
Sit with your pain. There’s no other way to get it out of your life. The more you sit with it, the smaller it gets, and eventually, you’ll be able to blow it away.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Anonymous
This pain and its frustrations won’t go away. You’ve lived with them for a long time. At times, you wear your pain like a broach over the heart or use it as a shield blocking anything, good and bad, from entering or penetrating your soul. You’ve given the pain arms, legs, and a brain, and even wear it like an old tattered robe – it covers, but it also exposes you to the elements and questioning eyes. You hate the pain, hate the way it makes you feel, hate its control over your life, but you live with it anyway.
To get rid of it, you’ve got to look at it and feel it. Sit with it.
Okay, yeah, it’s hard to just sit with pain. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t exist and we wouldn’t be having this discourse, right? The pain hurts and it’s ugly, so we run from it. We run and deny it, giving time and attention instead to issues and situations that purposely distract and distance us from the pain, our Selves, and any other thing that brings us discomfort.
But you can only do that for so long and you either examine the core of the pain, or you find your Self succumbing to habits and behaviors that take your conscious mind to another place, a place that numbs the affects of pain and its consequences. Alcohol, drugs, work, whatever the vice, you’re looking for something to freeze and dull the pain, if only temporarily. Or, maybe you find yourself trying to fill the voids and emptiness left by pain, and sex or the security of a relationship have become the bandages you repeatedly misuse to cover up, pour in the gaps and holes, and hide you from your pain. But when unsettled pain erupts and surfaces like blood from a fresh cut, reminding you of its existence, it not only knocks the wind from you, it also takes your partner(s) down with you. Like truth, pain crushed to earth, rises again and again, and it doesn’t stop until it is examined and resolved.
Thus, it takes courage, self-will, and Jesus to sit with your pain, open it up, look it in the eye, pull it apart piece by piece, and thoughtfully and lovingly put every discovery in its proper place, no matter how long it takes or how badly it hurts. Intentionally sitting with your pain gives you pause and room for reflection, and it’s in that quiet space that you hear God giving you answers to the lingering prayers of your heart, salve to relieve your hurts, and divine healing from all that troubles you.
Sit with your pain. There’s no other way to get it out of your life. The more you sit with it, the smaller it gets, and eventually, you’ll be able to blow it away.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 3, 2007
If you need a little taste of the pain you will create when you do not allow yourself to grow, stick your feet in the shoes you wore to your high school prom.
-- Iyanla Vanzant
You still run with your high school buddies trying to do the same stuff you did back in the day. Of course it’s more than 20 years later; you’re 50 pounds heavier; your stamina is lacking, and your instincts are sharper, but your reflexes and response time are slower and suspect. That’s why pulling the same sorry stunts from 20 plus years earlier land you on your bad back and soft butt every time you try them.
You believe that if you buy that thing, people will regard you as prestigious, influential, successful, and powerful – all traits you’ve sought for many years. Of course it’ll max your credit card again, and you’ll have to borrow from your parents for next month’s mortgage bill. You’ll have to eat Ramen noodles for awhile, but they’re not so bad, right? And what’s a month or so without electricity? It’s not cold out right now and candles would be romantic and soothing while you sat with that thing you bought.
He said he’d never do it again, that there’d be no next time. So you took him back, again. Now, bloody with a cracked rib and broken jaw, he stands on the other side of the door begging you to open it and let him come back home. She’s beautiful, sometimes too beautiful to be with you, you often think. She thinks so too and uses every occasion to step out on you. But you take her back each time and each time she steps back out.
If you do what you’ve always done, they say you get what you always got. You get nothing and nothing is stagnation personified. You get emptied and emptiness leads to filling up on whatever comes your way, which may again lead to nothing.
What if the caterpillar refused to shed the skin that was to become her cocoon, the place that perfectly nurtured her growing body and spirit? What if winter’s trees remained bare and dry during every season of the year? What if the seasons decided to stay stuck on mid-February winter? What if a spring bud remained tightly closed and never bloomed, repressing itself because it was afraid to be or show something other than a bud? Fortunately for those of us who are lovers of beauty, God’s supernatural power gives all these things sense enough to grow and evolve. Each by the hand and breath of God finds something within itself to push out in search of a better day, a larger perspective, greater freedom, and boundless beauty. And you can imagine that change can’t be easy for any of them either – the transition from winter to spring does bring out the sap eating bugs, and it’s definitely lonely in a cocoon. But why run the risk of losing out on blessings, newness, and opportunities because change is unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and unpredictable? Take a lesson from nature – grow, evolve, advance, improve.
Better yet, think of your size 6 high school prom shoes on your size 10 feet. Let them go; get new shoes.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Iyanla Vanzant
You still run with your high school buddies trying to do the same stuff you did back in the day. Of course it’s more than 20 years later; you’re 50 pounds heavier; your stamina is lacking, and your instincts are sharper, but your reflexes and response time are slower and suspect. That’s why pulling the same sorry stunts from 20 plus years earlier land you on your bad back and soft butt every time you try them.
You believe that if you buy that thing, people will regard you as prestigious, influential, successful, and powerful – all traits you’ve sought for many years. Of course it’ll max your credit card again, and you’ll have to borrow from your parents for next month’s mortgage bill. You’ll have to eat Ramen noodles for awhile, but they’re not so bad, right? And what’s a month or so without electricity? It’s not cold out right now and candles would be romantic and soothing while you sat with that thing you bought.
He said he’d never do it again, that there’d be no next time. So you took him back, again. Now, bloody with a cracked rib and broken jaw, he stands on the other side of the door begging you to open it and let him come back home. She’s beautiful, sometimes too beautiful to be with you, you often think. She thinks so too and uses every occasion to step out on you. But you take her back each time and each time she steps back out.
If you do what you’ve always done, they say you get what you always got. You get nothing and nothing is stagnation personified. You get emptied and emptiness leads to filling up on whatever comes your way, which may again lead to nothing.
What if the caterpillar refused to shed the skin that was to become her cocoon, the place that perfectly nurtured her growing body and spirit? What if winter’s trees remained bare and dry during every season of the year? What if the seasons decided to stay stuck on mid-February winter? What if a spring bud remained tightly closed and never bloomed, repressing itself because it was afraid to be or show something other than a bud? Fortunately for those of us who are lovers of beauty, God’s supernatural power gives all these things sense enough to grow and evolve. Each by the hand and breath of God finds something within itself to push out in search of a better day, a larger perspective, greater freedom, and boundless beauty. And you can imagine that change can’t be easy for any of them either – the transition from winter to spring does bring out the sap eating bugs, and it’s definitely lonely in a cocoon. But why run the risk of losing out on blessings, newness, and opportunities because change is unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and unpredictable? Take a lesson from nature – grow, evolve, advance, improve.
Better yet, think of your size 6 high school prom shoes on your size 10 feet. Let them go; get new shoes.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Apr 2, 2007
I’ve been waiting for you to come and sit here – beside me, behind me, around me. I’ve been waiting for you to be here to hold me; generous arms, craving arms. Never let me go. I’ve been waiting for your love to love on me so my soul could be free. Come on, love on me.
-- lam
Each of us, no matter how busy, successful, or sufficient-as-one we are, wants to be touched, held, and loved on. All of us, at some time or another – if not at all times – require the warmth and connection that being held brings; every one of us needs to be touched in soft and tender ways; and every single one of us wants the sated and complete feeling that comes with being doted and loved on. Whether we acknowledge these longings or not, whether we cover or replace them with work, children and parenting, running a household, church (church?), shopping, etc., at the crux of who we are is the desire to be held and loved on.
In this scribe, being held and loved on is not just a hug from your kid – although that’s probably the greatest hug your ever receive. Instead, this is suggesting the kind of hug that arouses your sensual sense; one that excites your insides, tingles and involuntarily spreads and curls your toes, and causes you to shiver ever so slightly. And while being loved is certainly a pinnacle of life, being loved on – considered, kissed, embraced sensitively, sensually, and passionately – eases parts of the soul that can only be touched when fed in this delicate and adoring manner.
Take an inventory of what’s going on around you. Are you being loved on? Being loved on looks like him putting gas in your car because he knows you hate to; having your need anticipated, not having to ask, simply because she is perceptive and in harmony with you; finding a love note under your pillow; getting a surprise gift just because she knew you’d enjoy it; talking together, shutting out the rest of the world, giving and receiving undivided and involved attention; getting a massage from him just because he loves the way your skin feels in his hand; cuddling a little before the alarm goes off; making love thoughtfully and slowly, amorously tuning in to one another’s sounds and trembles – even if the alarm is going off; and getting a phone call or email that says “You were incredible!”
Ah, being held and loved on... what sensually human thing could be better?
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- lam
Each of us, no matter how busy, successful, or sufficient-as-one we are, wants to be touched, held, and loved on. All of us, at some time or another – if not at all times – require the warmth and connection that being held brings; every one of us needs to be touched in soft and tender ways; and every single one of us wants the sated and complete feeling that comes with being doted and loved on. Whether we acknowledge these longings or not, whether we cover or replace them with work, children and parenting, running a household, church (church?), shopping, etc., at the crux of who we are is the desire to be held and loved on.
In this scribe, being held and loved on is not just a hug from your kid – although that’s probably the greatest hug your ever receive. Instead, this is suggesting the kind of hug that arouses your sensual sense; one that excites your insides, tingles and involuntarily spreads and curls your toes, and causes you to shiver ever so slightly. And while being loved is certainly a pinnacle of life, being loved on – considered, kissed, embraced sensitively, sensually, and passionately – eases parts of the soul that can only be touched when fed in this delicate and adoring manner.
Take an inventory of what’s going on around you. Are you being loved on? Being loved on looks like him putting gas in your car because he knows you hate to; having your need anticipated, not having to ask, simply because she is perceptive and in harmony with you; finding a love note under your pillow; getting a surprise gift just because she knew you’d enjoy it; talking together, shutting out the rest of the world, giving and receiving undivided and involved attention; getting a massage from him just because he loves the way your skin feels in his hand; cuddling a little before the alarm goes off; making love thoughtfully and slowly, amorously tuning in to one another’s sounds and trembles – even if the alarm is going off; and getting a phone call or email that says “You were incredible!”
Ah, being held and loved on... what sensually human thing could be better?
Sadiqqa © 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)