Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words…

Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things.
-- Elise Boulding

Driving through town the other day with a car full of delightful passengers, I stated – with some dismay – that we could not joyride and take in the sights of the area because I had recently spent over $60 to fill my gas-guzzling SUV. While each of the passengers – including me – grew sour-faced, we looked around at the other vehicles on the road and realized that most of them were gas-guzzling trucks and SUVs as well! None of us on the road could ride free. We all had to make a straight shot to where we were going then go directly back to where we came from or risk having to refill the tank too soon.

One of my passengers remarked that driving a smaller car would eliminate the use of lots of gas while another countered with, "You can't get as much stuff in a smaller car." Somebody else then said, "Well, why do you have to carry so much stuff?"

Well, ding, ding, ding, that's the point! And the question is not only why do we have to carry so much stuff, but why do we have to have so much stuff to begin with?

When I first moved into my house almost 20 years ago, I believed I needed to fill it with stuff – furniture, fixtures, decorations, all the things I thought said "comfort" or "home." Years later, I look around at all this stuff and wonder WTH I was thinking. I have become a frequent visitor to the Goodwill donation sites around town, giving away just about everything I've accumulated over the years. But I still have tons of stuff in my house.

Which ultimately spills over to my truck. I carry a bin in the trunk to collect odds and ends but it often becomes cluttered with stuff from the house, stuff we should have taken back into the house when we got out of the car. Eventually all that stuff weighs my car down, which means I end up burning more fuel.

And speaking of extra pounds, what about all the pounds we keep on our bodies? Certainly that adds to the weight we carry in our cars. We've got to get rid of that trunk junk, too.

And what about all the negative emotions, worries, and past hurts/pains we carry around with us? That's extra weight to our psyches and shoulders, weight we shouldn't carry around. You know what happens with all that emotional weight to consider, carry, and deal with – we end up trying to cover up/hide from/compensate for the sense of lack/discomfort/fear/uncertainty/chaos the weight brings. And we do it by accumulating more stuff! More stuff to carry, house, and hold onto.

It's easy to make a run to Goodwill, call the ARC, give your stuff away on Freecycle, or upload it for sale on Craigslist. It's easy to pare down what you eat. And, sometimes – ((sometimes)), it's easy to monitor what you allow to enter your consciousness. But unless we make mindful lifestyle changes, we'll be constantly saddled with unnecessary stuff to tend. In order to make life uncomplicated/lighter/less cumbersome/simpler, we must think differently about the stuff around us. We must evaluate the necessity of all that we allow into our lives, make careful decisions about the things we choose to own, and eliminate for good the things that we don't need. And, while sometimes these are hard choices, we must make them for our health, sanity, and freedom.

Eliminating the unnecessary from your life, be it furniture, material possessions, cars, friends, or worry, makes life simpler, even happier. Fewer possessions means not having to keep up with stuff, clean it, care for it, and most importantly, have a place for it. Think on this – if you don't have a lot of stuff, you don't have to have a big house to put stuff in, which means smaller heating/cooling and electricity costs (read: less energy consumption), smaller mortgage/rent, and even fewer repairs. It also means being intentional about valuing and maintaining calm, clutter free, less-is-more space, and including only those things that meet your everyday needs, speak to who you are, and bring you tranquility, comfort, and joy. Having less stuff in your home means you can really be at home.

And when you begin to eliminate stuff from your home, reducing or disposing of the other stuff in your life becomes more deliberate as well. Who says we have to have 800 Facebook friends? We don't keep in touch with 800 friends at one time, do we? We don't have all 800 friends at our house at one time, do we? Really, if you think about it, we may only have 20 – 30 people in our everyday lives, 20 – 30 people (if that) who have easy access to us daily. Yeah, it feels good to keep in touch your old childhood friends; they are special. But, really, if you hadn't kept up with them before Facebook, would you really miss them now?

Okay, maybe... Anyway, this isn't a scribe about Facebook, but it wouldn't hurt to consider who you give right of entry /attention to. Some people make life harder than it has to be.

And consider our eating habits. Needing only to eat when necessary – and not just because we're hungry for something – might mean that we would eat on purpose and be healthier. This means we'd eat more grains, fruits, and fresh vegetables; more legumes which are excellent sources of fiber and protein; and, of course, drinking more water. And none of this means you have to spend an exorbitant amount of money. It could mean a weekly visit to the local farmers market or growing your own fruits and vegetables – from pots on the patio, if you want to; finding a natural food store and stocking up on grains and beans to add to your home- or farm-grown vegetables, and drinking water straight from the tap you pay for every month! Just add a filter to the faucet to eliminate the yucky taste of chlorine and whatever else the city uses to purify the water.

If you eat healthier, you'll find yourself losing unnecessary body weight, and there's no way you'll want to put it back on! Exercising even a little preserves a healthy weight. It also increases mental sharpness, improves your mood, and greatly diminishes the stress that can make you ball into the fetal position and want to forget it all.

And once there's less of you physically, you'll want less of yourself to be consumed. No more hectic schedules or burdensome obligations and commitments to clutter your mind and time – you didn't lose all that material and physical weight to do more stuff; you're paring it all down. Because the less you do, the less stretched and more focused you are. Oh yeah, we can do many things; we're awesome multitaskers. But, really, do you want to do so much? And, do you do all the things you do well, or do you just meet the mark with the hundreds of things you're obligated to do? Think about it – if you did one or a few things, wouldn't you do them/be so much better? Happier?

Ultimately, we must become more frugal, or thrifty and prudent, in our ways. The more we have, the less we have – less freedom/happiness/peace. The more we have, the less we and our opportunities are. We become what we have and all the material/physical stuff we have keeps us limited in some capacity. Being frugal means being free to live.

I'm for giving up on the "American Dream" of consumerism and obsession with material abundance. I'm for living simple – owning, having, eating, doing, and being that which does not hinder living. I want to be thoughtful about the way I use energy, time, space, and myself. I've enlisted the help of Leo Babauta, Tsh Oxenreider, and Courtney Carver. It's all a process, but these are working for me and a lifestyle change that'll lead to peace, happiness, and freedom.

Freedom to joyride with delightful passengers because we're not hindered by gas prices!

So, why do I drive a gas-guzzling SUV? Vanity, I guess. There are certainly thousands of cars on the market I'd look good in that boast better fuel efficiency than my brown Explorer. But while giving up the brown truck is not (necessarily) in the near future for me, driving more efficiently by cutting down on my trips via a pared down schedule and carrying less junk in the trunks is certainly on the menu. The joyrides will just have to wait.

I will act now.

I will act now. I will act now. I will act now. Henceforth, I will repeat these words each hour, each day, every day, until the words become as much a habit as my breathing, and the action which follows becomes as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids. With these words I can condition my mind to perform every action necessary for my success. I will act now. I will repeat these words again and again and again… If I delay, success will become wed to another and lost to me forever. This is the time. This is the place. I am the person.
-- Og Mandino

 To sit at the computer for hours on end moving cartoon characters around a diner or fashion boutique, providing speedy customer service to hungry, cranky, and impatient fictional characters while trying to keep them from becoming dissatisfied with your service, talking to the programmed characters as though they can hear and respond, and trying to earn big tips and achieve the expert status so items can be bought to create a better looking restaurant or stylish shop has got to be the worst use of my time ever!

Nonetheless, I am a Diner Dash/Fashion Dash fan!

Wait, did I say fan? I meant fanatic!

I've played Diner Dash and Fashion Dash for hours a day, pausing only long enough to refill my coffee, fix the kid a plate (not meal, plate), and take a QUICK bathroom break. Each time I get to a new level, I say to myself, "After this level, I'm going to stop and go get something done." Levels later, it's dark outside, my kid is hungry again, and nothing has gotten done. I've even played so much that I've dreamed of playing in my sleep!

And can I tell you how disappointed I am when I actually finish the whole game, expert levels and all! What a let down as I try to figure out what to do next!

Researchers say these kinds of time management games are good for helping you think on your feet and help improve memory, concentration, and mental speed. There must be something to this because while I strategically seat the boutique's old ladies next to one another so they can gossip, I can listen to and sing music, think on a problem I'm having, and monitor what GG is doing in her room!

But, really, I'm not fooling myself. Scoring an extra 100 points because the diners were fed expediently doesn't provide me with any life points. Yeah, playing helps me think and come up with solutions to quandaries, but, really, I use these games to escape reality/time/responsibilities. In the midst of going from level to level, I often ask myself, "what else could I be doing, what would I rather be doing?" I can quickly come up with an impressive list of other things to do.

What I've found is that while I'm building brain matter, I'm not using it if I don't apply it to do the other things I could/would rather be doing. What good does better eyesight, enhanced problem-solving skills, or increased perceptual/spatial ability do when I stay caught in a web doing the same thing day-in and day-out? What is the benefit of greater focus, improved hand-eye coordination, and greater boosts in dopamine that help to reduce stress when I seem to chase my tail instead of stepping outside my circle of comfort and actually going for some of the things on the list of what I would rather be doing instead of playing the stinking games all day? What good is better brain activity if I'm only using it on brainless, rote, everyday activity? That's like tactically seating Flo's customers at a table then not feeding them so they end up leaving.

Yeah, so my frame of reference is Diner Dash…

Really, the time that it takes to seat 4 feisty businesswomen away from a cranky, crying baby and her family is the time I could have spent sharpening my own feisty business woman skills or keeping my cranky kid from disturbing others.

The time it takes to design a new boutique is the same time it takes to craft a new "Thought…,." Putting in a jewelry display or new dressing booth does not beat writing a scribe that could shed light on a new way of living and being.

Cleaning up the spilled meal of a Diner Dash family is in no way as remarkable as repairing a relationship or checking in with friends and family.

Flying from cartoon boutique to cartoon boutique has nothing on walking in the park, driving down the highway past old barns and grazing cows, or flying over the earth headed to a real boutique.

Serving different foods to play customers compares very little to enjoying the good foods offered by restaurants in and outside the city. Or creating a garden to eat my own food off my own land.

Seating the Starlets and Heiresses next to the Gentlemen so they can get their flirt on never beats flirting or connecting in real life, especially when the regard is returned!

You'll be glad to know that for Lent I have given up playing Diner Dash, Fashion Dash, Gem Swap, Mahjong Solitaire, and any other computer game. Instead, I'm listening for God and taking on some of the things on the could/would rather list. Forty days is time enough to break a habit and act on what's real.

They say if you put the newly acquired brain skills to work, they stick around. I'm going to act now before my brain turns to mush!

I’m choosing happiness over suffering

I'm choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.
-- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

 I've spent a lot of time worrying/unsettled/discontented over a countless number of things – money (not enough of it)/work (too much of it)/love and relationships (little understanding of them). I've worried over my weight, my hair, my hips, my home, and my heart. I've worried that on tomorrow there would be even more to worry about than today.

I've worn worry like it was an exotic perfume. I'd place a dab of anxiety on my neck and chest; slap some fret on my thighs; and smear a bit of melancholy on the pulse points of my wrists, knees, and ankles. Then, I'd leave my house, engage my friends and family, and talk with the babies at school reeking of the rotten smell of worry. I should have tossed that decanter of funk a long time ago. It has chafed and fatigued my shoulders and made it difficult to discern the more pleasant scents of assurance/contentment/joy/fun. How I wish I'd realized earlier that this scent was too heavy for my sanctified frame. Instead, I continued to reapply it every day.

If only I'd ingested Matthew 6:25-34 which implores me to not worry about anything 'cause, very simply, Jehovah Jireh , the God who provides, got me. I wonder how many years I've taken off my life because of so much worry.

Humph, I won't worry about that.

In its place, I'm opting to concern myself with the way Elohim cares and provides for me and how, in the scheme of it all, I've never missed a beat. Sure, I've fallen a few times, scraped my knees and ego, had my heart broken. But Elohim always picked me up and salved me down real good in powerful grace and mercy, breathed fresh and better life/opportunities/possibilities into my mind, heart, and soul so I could keep going/rise to a new level/see, experience, and love a new me. I'm replacing worry for the Word on my life – that Elohim holds my right hand and helps me (Isaiah 41:13), that Elohim will give me rest from my burdens (Matthew 11:28), and that Elohim is always present in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1). Why, then, should I worry over anything?

Instead, I'm choosing to concern myself about things like what kinds of vegetables to plant in my garden next week. Perhaps I'll plant some spinach, bush beans or pole beans, green peppers, and banana peppers. I'll plant some kale or collards, cucumbers, and tomatoes; maybe a few herbs like thyme, rosemary, oregano, and chives. I'm pretty excited about using my dad's tiller. I remember when he had a fabulous vegetable garden every summer! And, I can't wait to channel my grandfather and Aunt Ruby while tending this food in the soil! Imagine how much praying and praising I can do in my own little garden. No worries will be aloud there!

And it's time – past time – to paint my house, both inside and out. Instead of worrying about things I can't change or control, I'm going to chew on whether to paint my bedroom a shade of green that conveys a cheerful, optimistic energy or an earthy shade like "fallen timber" or "fresh brew" to remind me of my wholesomeness, warmth, and honesty. The shutters and porch need a bit of attention – heck, the whole house is in need of love and care. And my yard could use a mimosa or dogwood tree? How about I throw myself into turning my house back into a home instead of throwing myself into a tailspin of worry about what only Elohim is in charge of.

And there was a woodpecker in the neighborhood the other day. How about I watch for her and her other friends (the cardinals, warblers, blue jays, mourning doves, sparrows, and the hummingbird that peeked into my picture window last summer)? Maybe I'll set them up a couple of birdhouses. Instead of distressing over Elohim's children, I'll listen to and watch His morning song makers.

Ooh, and I want to learn Spanish, write daily, and cut myself some slack! Drink some good wine and cook good, healthy food. Dance through the house to Parliament-Funkadelic and Lonnie Liston Smith; talk with my friends over coffee, Moscato, and soul-stirring music. Go hiking and whitewater rafting; vacation by the lake and get up early to watch the fish jump while drinking scrumptious cups of coffee and eating homemade waffles! Coach some people through life, hang out my own shingle, and watch it blow in the wind.

No more worrying or distressing. I'm tired of its weight, stench, and missed opportunities. Sure, some things will cross my mind and make me twist my lips in wonder, but no more agonizing/losing sleep/cocooning. Life is too short and I only have one to live. The bandit of worry has stolen, killed, and destroyed long enough. Jesus came so that I would have life more abundantly and, starting now, I will not continue to dis what Jesus came to do.

I'm making room for the good stuff. No worries, just life's good stuff. Bring. It. On!