… the cool underside of a pillow… dreaming on the riverbank… going to sleep with a line through every item on the things-to-do list… enjoying morning coffee on the terrace of your hotel room... finding each other being only the beginning… driving along country roads through woodland valleys that smell of the earth… discovering your own quiet joy… thinking of the day, of your home, of your family, of things past, of things to come… being the happiest in our lives…
-- Barbara Ann Kipfer, “14,000 Things to be Happy About”
Happily you had a peaceful night’s sleep last night and this morning you woke to find yourself in your right mind and body. Thankfully you were able to put one foot in front of the other and make it to the bath to prepare for the day, then find clean and/or comfortable clothing to wrap your precious body. Gratefully you ate a smart breakfast and stepped out of your door and onto the roadways before traffic began to build. With a smile you reached your destination, and the greetings you received upon your entrance were genial and jovial.
But, wait, let’s go back and look at the details of your day so far, for it’s truly the little things that delight you at your core.
While you slept peacefully, you were covered with the softest, fuzziest, warmest blanket. The pillows cuddled your head and supported your neck just so. When the alarm sounded, it did not buzz annoyingly, nor did loud music blare to startle you awake. Instead the sound was a gentle and constant hum that woke you. Upon waking, you were aware of your even breathing, the birds chirping and the wind chime delicately tinkling. After your morning prayer, you noticed the stillness and peacefulness in your home and throughout your Spirit. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you marveled at how healthy you felt – your blood was flowing freely, your muscles didn’t ache (too much), nothing was swollen, and nothing hurt.
In the bathroom, you sat in a warm bath and enjoyed the solace of water on the muscles that did ache. Lotioned and scented, your choice of attire perfectly accentuated the lines and curves of your body and you appreciated how they adapted to and flattered you. The reflection in the mirror confirmed that you are fine.
At breakfast, your banana was just ripe, the poached egg was perfect, your toast had just the right amount of spread, and the fresh-brewed Kenyan coffee was splendid. With time to spare, you secured your cozy home, bid it well, got in your equally comfortable car and drove at an easy speed to the job you’ve always wanted. Upon arrival, you were acknowledged, complimented on your day’s chic and tenor, and left alone to conduct your morning rituals.
There are so many things to be happy about, especially when you consider the little things. What little things make you happy, and can you ride on them to get you through the day to a happy evening and another happy day?
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 28, 2007
Feb 27, 2007
If the flowers you draw don’t look like anyone else’s, that’s good.
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, “Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”
Folks say you move to your own beat; that the drum you dance to was created especially for you. You have your own way about you, and it’s indefinable and exceptional. You are a breath of fresh and innovative air; your spirit is the only one of its kind. You are cut from fabric that’s no longer in stock, and, because you know the predictable, familiar, and often stale life that exists inside the box, you choose to think and live outside of it. As a matter of fact, there’s not a box within miles of where you’re stationed.
Though some wish you were more conventional, more orthodox and obedient, you know if you tried, it’d still come off as unruly and rebellious, perhaps looking something like an orange Boubou on Wall Street. You relish in your uncommonness and take pleasure in making each day something out of the ordinary. You’re a forward-thinking ground-breaker, usually well ahead of others as you journey through life. You flow freely and fluently, with the expectation that good things will come your way. But, some think you’re eccentric, peculiar, even flaky and far-out.
But didn’t they say the same things about Jesus? Wasn’t He too much for most folks to believe and digest? The people who followed the law, those who lived in the box and were afraid to believe anything different could exist to replace the old rules, never ceased calling Jesus a peculiar nonconformist. Jesus went about undoing, removing, and pulling apart just about everything people had always believed, freely going from city to city to show and do a new thing, fluently speaking the way He wanted and acting the way He felt best; even telling people (in so many words) if they kept pooh-poohing Him, He wasn’t going to take them to the place where they could get their own extraordinariness. While on earth, Jesus was uncommon, cut from His own cloth, rebellious, and so far-out, when they tried to kill Him, he ascended to the sky to live forever. As far as unconventional goes, Jesus is the Brotha to top!
So, you’re in good company. And what better company could you want? Be as uncommon and as different as you will. And if your flowers should ever begin to look like anybody else’s, consider painting stars.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, “Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”
Folks say you move to your own beat; that the drum you dance to was created especially for you. You have your own way about you, and it’s indefinable and exceptional. You are a breath of fresh and innovative air; your spirit is the only one of its kind. You are cut from fabric that’s no longer in stock, and, because you know the predictable, familiar, and often stale life that exists inside the box, you choose to think and live outside of it. As a matter of fact, there’s not a box within miles of where you’re stationed.
Though some wish you were more conventional, more orthodox and obedient, you know if you tried, it’d still come off as unruly and rebellious, perhaps looking something like an orange Boubou on Wall Street. You relish in your uncommonness and take pleasure in making each day something out of the ordinary. You’re a forward-thinking ground-breaker, usually well ahead of others as you journey through life. You flow freely and fluently, with the expectation that good things will come your way. But, some think you’re eccentric, peculiar, even flaky and far-out.
But didn’t they say the same things about Jesus? Wasn’t He too much for most folks to believe and digest? The people who followed the law, those who lived in the box and were afraid to believe anything different could exist to replace the old rules, never ceased calling Jesus a peculiar nonconformist. Jesus went about undoing, removing, and pulling apart just about everything people had always believed, freely going from city to city to show and do a new thing, fluently speaking the way He wanted and acting the way He felt best; even telling people (in so many words) if they kept pooh-poohing Him, He wasn’t going to take them to the place where they could get their own extraordinariness. While on earth, Jesus was uncommon, cut from His own cloth, rebellious, and so far-out, when they tried to kill Him, he ascended to the sky to live forever. As far as unconventional goes, Jesus is the Brotha to top!
So, you’re in good company. And what better company could you want? Be as uncommon and as different as you will. And if your flowers should ever begin to look like anybody else’s, consider painting stars.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 26, 2007
… it’s sometimes easier to stay caught up in the busy schedules and demanding roles than it is to slow down and look at yourself.
-- Serita Jakes
Your job requires that you wear many hats – you’re the director, implementer, and evaluator. Oh, and you make the coffee and fix the leaky toilet. At home you tirelessly plan the meals, prepare the meals, clean up after the meals, read them bedtime stories, tuck them into bed, prepare for the next day, get everybody up the next morning, go to work, work 8 hours, come home, plan the meals, prepare the meals, clean… This friend has an issue that needs your attention; that friend has a circumstance that requires your analysis; and the friend over there has a situation for which you are being asked to provide a remedy.
You run around all day, feverishly moving from one task to the next. You carry on 3 conversations at once – one on the cell phone, one by email, and another with a person standing before you. You walk so fast people wonder whether you’re being chased, and when you talk you sound like the town auctioneer taking $10 bids on a trip to the Bahamas. When you get home at night it’s all you can do to keep your eyes open to find the bed. You are absolutely too busy, too tired, and too engaged in everybody else’s stuff to give care and consideration to your Self.
When was the last time you took a good look at yourself, not just a look in the mirror, but a hard, beneath the surface, not what everybody else thinks look? When you looked, did you actually see someone who’s got it all figured out and under control and capable of handling someone else’s stuff without missing a beat? Did you actually see someone who has moved beyond the childhood issues and traumas and who has placed them all in proper perspective and can use them as lessons to help others navigate their journey toward healing and good health? Did you actually see someone who could sit back on his/her laurels and not worry about the next meal or dollar for all was guaranteed to be perfect and copasetic? You didn’t see anybody like that?
Oh, you didn’t actually take a good look. What, are you afraid of something or is it too much work?
It should feel disconcerting to live your life without caring for your Self and your own needs. It should feel like an act of duplicity to place other selves before your Self and not go within to unearth and examine things so that you have a clearer view of what you’re working with and what you’re offering to others. It’s a blatant act of self-neglect to not look completely and honesty at your Self, and it’s even more abusive to release the unexamined Self on other unexamined selves.
Think of your Self as you would a cluttered workspace. There are piles and piles of stuff – important papers on top of books on top of cardboard boxes on top of nondescript Rubbermaids stacked in the far corner spilling over one another. The stacks are so high and menacing that even thinking about poring through them is a daunting and insurmountable task. So instead of tackling the clutter, you place a table covering over the piles and a plant on top of the table covering, pretending there’s nothing underneath.
Until the day something comes along to knock the plant and all the stuff underneath the table covering to the floor. Now look – you’re exposed, broken, scattered, and messy.
If you’re not stopping to look at yourself, taking inventory, releasing what no longer serves you and creating new ideas and perspectives, at some point, your Self will spill out and away. The pressure will propel itself and you’ll spew out like a water spiket. Better to take a good look at you before you come out and scare the acca-bacca out of you and anybody in your range.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Serita Jakes
Your job requires that you wear many hats – you’re the director, implementer, and evaluator. Oh, and you make the coffee and fix the leaky toilet. At home you tirelessly plan the meals, prepare the meals, clean up after the meals, read them bedtime stories, tuck them into bed, prepare for the next day, get everybody up the next morning, go to work, work 8 hours, come home, plan the meals, prepare the meals, clean… This friend has an issue that needs your attention; that friend has a circumstance that requires your analysis; and the friend over there has a situation for which you are being asked to provide a remedy.
You run around all day, feverishly moving from one task to the next. You carry on 3 conversations at once – one on the cell phone, one by email, and another with a person standing before you. You walk so fast people wonder whether you’re being chased, and when you talk you sound like the town auctioneer taking $10 bids on a trip to the Bahamas. When you get home at night it’s all you can do to keep your eyes open to find the bed. You are absolutely too busy, too tired, and too engaged in everybody else’s stuff to give care and consideration to your Self.
When was the last time you took a good look at yourself, not just a look in the mirror, but a hard, beneath the surface, not what everybody else thinks look? When you looked, did you actually see someone who’s got it all figured out and under control and capable of handling someone else’s stuff without missing a beat? Did you actually see someone who has moved beyond the childhood issues and traumas and who has placed them all in proper perspective and can use them as lessons to help others navigate their journey toward healing and good health? Did you actually see someone who could sit back on his/her laurels and not worry about the next meal or dollar for all was guaranteed to be perfect and copasetic? You didn’t see anybody like that?
Oh, you didn’t actually take a good look. What, are you afraid of something or is it too much work?
It should feel disconcerting to live your life without caring for your Self and your own needs. It should feel like an act of duplicity to place other selves before your Self and not go within to unearth and examine things so that you have a clearer view of what you’re working with and what you’re offering to others. It’s a blatant act of self-neglect to not look completely and honesty at your Self, and it’s even more abusive to release the unexamined Self on other unexamined selves.
Think of your Self as you would a cluttered workspace. There are piles and piles of stuff – important papers on top of books on top of cardboard boxes on top of nondescript Rubbermaids stacked in the far corner spilling over one another. The stacks are so high and menacing that even thinking about poring through them is a daunting and insurmountable task. So instead of tackling the clutter, you place a table covering over the piles and a plant on top of the table covering, pretending there’s nothing underneath.
Until the day something comes along to knock the plant and all the stuff underneath the table covering to the floor. Now look – you’re exposed, broken, scattered, and messy.
If you’re not stopping to look at yourself, taking inventory, releasing what no longer serves you and creating new ideas and perspectives, at some point, your Self will spill out and away. The pressure will propel itself and you’ll spew out like a water spiket. Better to take a good look at you before you come out and scare the acca-bacca out of you and anybody in your range.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 23, 2007
The woman whispered, “God, speak to me,” and a meadowlark sang, but she did not hear. So she yelled, “God, speak to me!” and the thunder rolled across the sky, but the woman did not listen. The woman looked around and said, God, let me see you,” and a star shone brightly, but she did not notice. And the woman shouted, “God, show me a miracle!” and a life was born, but the woman did not know. So she cried out in despair, “Touch me God, and let me know you are here!” whereupon God reached down and touched the woman. But she brushed the butterfly away and walked away unknowingly.
-- Author Unknown
You should have gotten gas last night. This morning, your car wouldn’t even turn over. While you waited in your driveway for roadside assistance to bring you some gas, something clearly said to you go back inside the house and be sure you blew out your morning candle. Thinking hard then believing you did blow the candle out, you continued to wait, reading an article in the newspaper about the neighborhood school’s effort to warn kids about the dangers of playing with matches. Along came roadside assistance smelling like the fumes from the gas can he was carrying and you thought to yourself that you’re glad you’re not a smoker.
You’ve been feeling like it was time to leave that dead-end job. Even thinking of going back to school for an advanced degree so that you could be your own boss, run your own company, and concentrate on your own bottom-line. Well, today when you walked in to work, 45 minutes late from the gas faux pas, your boss handed you a pink slip and a small box and said only take what you brought and thanks for your service.
You get back in your car with your box of belongings and feel extremely uneasy, though you’re not really sure it’s because you lost your job. Nevertheless, to ease your stress, you find a masseuse and pay an arm and a leg just to get your back rubbed. Finally, you head home, not really wanting to, but somehow your car steers you there. As you get closer your uneasiness increases, especially when you see the fire trucks parked in front of your smoking home and water hoses spraying water into a hole in your roof – right into the area where you were burning your morning candle.
How is it we miss the gentle voice of God only to be startled by a much more disruptive one?
In order for us to see, feel, and hear God, He often has to get in our face and practically hold us to the wall for us to get that it’s Him. Most of the time we’re expecting a booming Hollywood voice followed by claps of thunder, a darkening sky, and the earth opening up. But God doesn’t always speak like a train in the night. Often His expressions are gentle whispers like the wind or sweet melodies like the robin’s song. Sometimes God’s voice is loud and thunderous; sometimes He does appear in a modern-day burning bush and the heavy smoke that shows the way, truth, and light. But more often than not, God speaks to us and shows himself in our everyday experiences and meanderings in very quiet and common ways.
Right now, be quiet. Be still. Can you hear God speaking? Can you see God? Do you feel God?
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Author Unknown
You should have gotten gas last night. This morning, your car wouldn’t even turn over. While you waited in your driveway for roadside assistance to bring you some gas, something clearly said to you go back inside the house and be sure you blew out your morning candle. Thinking hard then believing you did blow the candle out, you continued to wait, reading an article in the newspaper about the neighborhood school’s effort to warn kids about the dangers of playing with matches. Along came roadside assistance smelling like the fumes from the gas can he was carrying and you thought to yourself that you’re glad you’re not a smoker.
You’ve been feeling like it was time to leave that dead-end job. Even thinking of going back to school for an advanced degree so that you could be your own boss, run your own company, and concentrate on your own bottom-line. Well, today when you walked in to work, 45 minutes late from the gas faux pas, your boss handed you a pink slip and a small box and said only take what you brought and thanks for your service.
You get back in your car with your box of belongings and feel extremely uneasy, though you’re not really sure it’s because you lost your job. Nevertheless, to ease your stress, you find a masseuse and pay an arm and a leg just to get your back rubbed. Finally, you head home, not really wanting to, but somehow your car steers you there. As you get closer your uneasiness increases, especially when you see the fire trucks parked in front of your smoking home and water hoses spraying water into a hole in your roof – right into the area where you were burning your morning candle.
How is it we miss the gentle voice of God only to be startled by a much more disruptive one?
In order for us to see, feel, and hear God, He often has to get in our face and practically hold us to the wall for us to get that it’s Him. Most of the time we’re expecting a booming Hollywood voice followed by claps of thunder, a darkening sky, and the earth opening up. But God doesn’t always speak like a train in the night. Often His expressions are gentle whispers like the wind or sweet melodies like the robin’s song. Sometimes God’s voice is loud and thunderous; sometimes He does appear in a modern-day burning bush and the heavy smoke that shows the way, truth, and light. But more often than not, God speaks to us and shows himself in our everyday experiences and meanderings in very quiet and common ways.
Right now, be quiet. Be still. Can you hear God speaking? Can you see God? Do you feel God?
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 22, 2007
Perhaps during the Lenten season we should stop praying for others as if we were virtuous enough to do so. Perhaps we should take off our righteous robes just long enough during this 40 days to put ashes on our own heads, to come before God with a new humility that is willing to confess, “Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner.” Maybe we should be willing to prostrate ourselves before God and plead, “Lord, in my hand no price I bring; simply to the cross I cling.” That might put us in a position to hear God in ways that we have not heard Him in a long time. And it may be the beginning of a healing for which we have so longed.
O Lord, begin with me. Here. Now.
--Dennis Bratcher, “The Season of Lent”
Each day we spend a good amount of time praying for the well-being of others. We pray that their needs be met and that all their sins be washed away. We pray for others who are sick, that they be made hale and hearty. We pray for those suffering from maladies and burdens that keep them from rising, taking up their mat, and going forth, and our prayers are for those who have less than we do – God please bless them with increase and the necessities of life. We pray these prayers of intercession because we earnestly want those blessings for others. We care about others so we beseech God to love, bless, and take care of the issues of their hearts.
On this second day of the Lenten season, turn the table around and have a “come to Jesus” meeting with yourself. Ask God to help you examine your heart and life and to place a reflective mirror before you so that you can see the places in you that have been scarred by your own disobedience and recklessness. Ask God to reveal the spaces in your heart you’ve made empty from rash and unmindful living. In the asking, admit that your transgressions have thrust you further from the Will of God and that you’ve set yourself off the path far too many times. Humbly pour your troubles on the altar for threshing, clarification, and resolution.
After your penitence, seek God in your everyday experiences. Be mindful of God’s presence, for just as Jesus was tempted during his 40 days in the wilderness, you will be tempted also. The enemy will try to coax you into betraying yourself and the sacrifices you’re making during this time. Your flesh will be weak; some days may be too hard; maybe you’ll begin to believe your sacrifices were too ambitious so you may look for excuses to give in. Don’t be deterred. The presence of God is with you, in you, and cheering for your deliverance and restoration.
At the end of these reverent 40 days is the renaissance – a new beginning and a fresh start. Because you have purged and preened, you can walk in newness and confidence that you have been blessed and the old stuff is no longer attached to your being. You can breathe lighter and longer for you no longer carry the weight of a cross that has been unexamined and left unresolved.
Blessed be these next 40 days of your life, and may the journey fine-tune and lay perfect foundation for the rest of your days.
Sadiqqa © 2007
O Lord, begin with me. Here. Now.
--Dennis Bratcher, “The Season of Lent”
Each day we spend a good amount of time praying for the well-being of others. We pray that their needs be met and that all their sins be washed away. We pray for others who are sick, that they be made hale and hearty. We pray for those suffering from maladies and burdens that keep them from rising, taking up their mat, and going forth, and our prayers are for those who have less than we do – God please bless them with increase and the necessities of life. We pray these prayers of intercession because we earnestly want those blessings for others. We care about others so we beseech God to love, bless, and take care of the issues of their hearts.
On this second day of the Lenten season, turn the table around and have a “come to Jesus” meeting with yourself. Ask God to help you examine your heart and life and to place a reflective mirror before you so that you can see the places in you that have been scarred by your own disobedience and recklessness. Ask God to reveal the spaces in your heart you’ve made empty from rash and unmindful living. In the asking, admit that your transgressions have thrust you further from the Will of God and that you’ve set yourself off the path far too many times. Humbly pour your troubles on the altar for threshing, clarification, and resolution.
After your penitence, seek God in your everyday experiences. Be mindful of God’s presence, for just as Jesus was tempted during his 40 days in the wilderness, you will be tempted also. The enemy will try to coax you into betraying yourself and the sacrifices you’re making during this time. Your flesh will be weak; some days may be too hard; maybe you’ll begin to believe your sacrifices were too ambitious so you may look for excuses to give in. Don’t be deterred. The presence of God is with you, in you, and cheering for your deliverance and restoration.
At the end of these reverent 40 days is the renaissance – a new beginning and a fresh start. Because you have purged and preened, you can walk in newness and confidence that you have been blessed and the old stuff is no longer attached to your being. You can breathe lighter and longer for you no longer carry the weight of a cross that has been unexamined and left unresolved.
Blessed be these next 40 days of your life, and may the journey fine-tune and lay perfect foundation for the rest of your days.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 21, 2007
You gotta see it before you see it or you never will see it.
-- Karen Clark Sheard, “It’s Not Over”
You can see it. A manor on the mountain overlooking the city below. A 3-car garage for the S-Class Benz, the Continental Bentley, and the Bavaria boat. Timeshares in St. Lucia, Cabo San Lucas, the Canary Islands, and a beach house in St Helena’s Bay, South Africa. And just look at them – 3.28 kids, a spouse that caters to your every need, 2 healthy greyhounds, a miniature horse, and a pond at the bottom of the mountain for your very own freshwater fish. A career with no glass ceiling and no crabs in the barrel. A boss – no, what boss? You are the boss , and you operate a state-of-the-art, cutting edge, frontier of knowledge multinational conglomerate. Wow! There it is. See it?
You can see it. A ranch house on a Magnolia tree-lined street surrounded by a wrought iron fence with grass freshly mowed and tulips, roses, and calla lilies planted aplenty. A 2-car garage and a workshop out back. An extensive art collection garnered from the most renowned and important artists in the country and abroad. Intelligent kids, the ultimate honey, and a vacation in the mountains planned for the end of the month; a trip to the beach mid-summer; and later in the year, an Alaskan cruise for two. Wow! There it is. See it?
You can see it. Your home – paid off. Your bills – paid with money left over. A full tank of gas in the Camry. Food in the cabinets. A clean house with comfortable surroundings in a safe and friendly neighborhood. An abundance of love in your life. Work worth waking up for and being tired from. Pristine health and a hearty spiritual life. Wow! There it is. See it?
All it takes to get this and more is to see it in your mind. If you can see it in your head, you can put arms and legs to it, save the money for it, take the steps toward it, draw deliberate plans on it, scout your options, pray for guidance and discernment, and share the dream with others, and then, it’s just a matter of time before it’s actually yours.
Consider the alternative – you don’t have a dream to contemplate and you can’t see beyond this little bit right here. How can you expect to have anything other than what you already have? You may even think that what you have is already enough. But imagine, if you would, that there is more to enough, that you deserve more than enough, that enough is only a bare minimum and ultimately insufficient. Any of what you dream, any of the good stuff you see in your mind, could be yours if you simply see it happening in your life.
Whether it’s a mansion, a tree-lined street, your bills paid off, better health, or just the lights on when you get home, there it is. See it?
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Karen Clark Sheard, “It’s Not Over”
You can see it. A manor on the mountain overlooking the city below. A 3-car garage for the S-Class Benz, the Continental Bentley, and the Bavaria boat. Timeshares in St. Lucia, Cabo San Lucas, the Canary Islands, and a beach house in St Helena’s Bay, South Africa. And just look at them – 3.28 kids, a spouse that caters to your every need, 2 healthy greyhounds, a miniature horse, and a pond at the bottom of the mountain for your very own freshwater fish. A career with no glass ceiling and no crabs in the barrel. A boss – no, what boss? You are the boss , and you operate a state-of-the-art, cutting edge, frontier of knowledge multinational conglomerate. Wow! There it is. See it?
You can see it. A ranch house on a Magnolia tree-lined street surrounded by a wrought iron fence with grass freshly mowed and tulips, roses, and calla lilies planted aplenty. A 2-car garage and a workshop out back. An extensive art collection garnered from the most renowned and important artists in the country and abroad. Intelligent kids, the ultimate honey, and a vacation in the mountains planned for the end of the month; a trip to the beach mid-summer; and later in the year, an Alaskan cruise for two. Wow! There it is. See it?
You can see it. Your home – paid off. Your bills – paid with money left over. A full tank of gas in the Camry. Food in the cabinets. A clean house with comfortable surroundings in a safe and friendly neighborhood. An abundance of love in your life. Work worth waking up for and being tired from. Pristine health and a hearty spiritual life. Wow! There it is. See it?
All it takes to get this and more is to see it in your mind. If you can see it in your head, you can put arms and legs to it, save the money for it, take the steps toward it, draw deliberate plans on it, scout your options, pray for guidance and discernment, and share the dream with others, and then, it’s just a matter of time before it’s actually yours.
Consider the alternative – you don’t have a dream to contemplate and you can’t see beyond this little bit right here. How can you expect to have anything other than what you already have? You may even think that what you have is already enough. But imagine, if you would, that there is more to enough, that you deserve more than enough, that enough is only a bare minimum and ultimately insufficient. Any of what you dream, any of the good stuff you see in your mind, could be yours if you simply see it happening in your life.
Whether it’s a mansion, a tree-lined street, your bills paid off, better health, or just the lights on when you get home, there it is. See it?
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 20, 2007
There’s a strength that comes from knowing who you are in God that removes the fear of relationships. It allows you to be authentically who you are and to be honest with those whom God allows into your life.
-- B. Heard, commentary from the Women of Color Study Bible
You’ll continually find here in these scribes much talk about knowing and loving who you are. When you know yourself – knowing what makes you think, act, and feel the way you do; knowing what you want to receive from and give to life; and being aware of your strengths and flaws, cool and fears, likes and dislikes, and feats and failures - you’re better able to constructively discern and navigate the world around you and be in relationship with others who walk upon this earth with you. And when you love yourself, even and especially given what you know about yourself, you have conquered half of the battle necessary for victorious living.
An even greater carrot in the battle is knowing who you are as God’s precious lamb. The Bible clearly states that as children of God we are divine, compassionate, gentle, intelligent, justice-seeking, peaceful, and virtuous precious flesh. That description right there should give each us enough to leave behind our fears and say, “So what?” to our flaws, learn from our failures, and go forward in love and confidence to graciously receive others in our lives.
Therein lies the problem.
Often the closer others get to us, the more intimate our relationships become, the more likely we are to undo and unforgive ourselves, make excuses for that little thing we do, shut them down, or just run and disappear in the opposite direction. We are so afraid that as others get to really know us, when they get in our stuff and watch the unbecoming and precarious ways we wallow and grope in our madness, they’ll become dissuaded, disgusted, and completely turned off. Then, we’ll be alone. And who on earth wants to be alone?
God is convincing us daily that we are awesome, no matter what! God made us in the image of His Son, and you know, Jesus is all that. As you begin to really know who you are in God, to see yourself the way God sees you and love yourself in the way God wants you to love you, whatever anybody else sees as you reveal yourself to them, whether it’s good or junky, is okay. And whatever their response is to your revelations is okay, too. You trust God with you and in you, and, because of that assurance, you can risk yourself to others and be confident in your interactions with them.
When you’re aware of who you are AND how God informs that you, your total environment and the relationships within it are healthy, authentic, sound, and the life-affirming.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- B. Heard, commentary from the Women of Color Study Bible
You’ll continually find here in these scribes much talk about knowing and loving who you are. When you know yourself – knowing what makes you think, act, and feel the way you do; knowing what you want to receive from and give to life; and being aware of your strengths and flaws, cool and fears, likes and dislikes, and feats and failures - you’re better able to constructively discern and navigate the world around you and be in relationship with others who walk upon this earth with you. And when you love yourself, even and especially given what you know about yourself, you have conquered half of the battle necessary for victorious living.
An even greater carrot in the battle is knowing who you are as God’s precious lamb. The Bible clearly states that as children of God we are divine, compassionate, gentle, intelligent, justice-seeking, peaceful, and virtuous precious flesh. That description right there should give each us enough to leave behind our fears and say, “So what?” to our flaws, learn from our failures, and go forward in love and confidence to graciously receive others in our lives.
Therein lies the problem.
Often the closer others get to us, the more intimate our relationships become, the more likely we are to undo and unforgive ourselves, make excuses for that little thing we do, shut them down, or just run and disappear in the opposite direction. We are so afraid that as others get to really know us, when they get in our stuff and watch the unbecoming and precarious ways we wallow and grope in our madness, they’ll become dissuaded, disgusted, and completely turned off. Then, we’ll be alone. And who on earth wants to be alone?
God is convincing us daily that we are awesome, no matter what! God made us in the image of His Son, and you know, Jesus is all that. As you begin to really know who you are in God, to see yourself the way God sees you and love yourself in the way God wants you to love you, whatever anybody else sees as you reveal yourself to them, whether it’s good or junky, is okay. And whatever their response is to your revelations is okay, too. You trust God with you and in you, and, because of that assurance, you can risk yourself to others and be confident in your interactions with them.
When you’re aware of who you are AND how God informs that you, your total environment and the relationships within it are healthy, authentic, sound, and the life-affirming.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 19, 2007
In the scheme of it all, Jesus is still coming back to collect His children and take them home.
-- S-LAM
Your computer, holding all your livelihood, crashed yesterday. The bill collectors, unrelenting and unforgiving, wanted their money 3 weeks ago. The proposal, the one that will secure your professional credibility and financial stability, is due tomorrow by 4:30pm EST and you’re still awaiting 2 signatures and a memorandum of agreement. The baby, your little precious one, is crying right now, again; and your blood pressure is soaring, despite the diuretic regimen and sodium-free life you live.
Both rear tires and the one on the driver’s side have *$#!% nails in them. The neighbor’s raggedy dog has dragged somebody’s nasty trash through your yard, yet again. The oncologist’s office called and said to please call back as soon as you get this message, and your honey, the love of your life, just quit you, no explanations or apologies.
If there was ever a time to stress, lose your mind, and scream at the top of your lungs, this is that one.
But you know what? Jesus is coming back. Wait, even before He gets here, it’s all okay. In the big picture, none of this is that deep. Period.
Really.
The stuff we deal with on a daily basis is annoying, inconvenient, distressing, and even unbearable, and most times we can’t see around our stuff; think there’s no way imaginable we’ll ever be able to overcome the thing; and certainly this is the case that’s going to throw us over the edge where the sharks will catch our fall. This, right here, feels like the end of the world. Well, if it is the end of the world, hopefully you’ve lived righteously and honorably so that God can say, “well done, jump in the chariot baby and let’s ride to the next level.”
It’s hard to move past how you’re feeling about all the ugly stuff that’s happening. You’re so caught up in it, even believing that it’ll all be okay is way beyond what you can grasp, and for anyone to suggest such means they haven’t got a clue. But after you’ve sat in your stuff for a while and turned it over and over, realizing that maybe there is nothing YOU can do about it, perhaps finding peace with it looks like believing (or convincing yourself) that it’s been worked out (for your good, by the way) and that you have to move on because life is much bigger than this thing right here that’s stopping you in this space.
You can’t just wish stuff away; sometimes you can’t even form your lips to say a prayer to pray the stuff away. But in the end - before the end – it’s really okay. Jesus is the reason for any season of your life, and if you can breathe, pray, cry, laugh, and work your way through all the stupid, inopportune, and excruciating stuff of your life, with the greatest amount of self-respect and decorum you can afford, it’s all okay - now, tomorrow, and the day the Lord comes to pick you up for your turn in heaven.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- S-LAM
Your computer, holding all your livelihood, crashed yesterday. The bill collectors, unrelenting and unforgiving, wanted their money 3 weeks ago. The proposal, the one that will secure your professional credibility and financial stability, is due tomorrow by 4:30pm EST and you’re still awaiting 2 signatures and a memorandum of agreement. The baby, your little precious one, is crying right now, again; and your blood pressure is soaring, despite the diuretic regimen and sodium-free life you live.
Both rear tires and the one on the driver’s side have *$#!% nails in them. The neighbor’s raggedy dog has dragged somebody’s nasty trash through your yard, yet again. The oncologist’s office called and said to please call back as soon as you get this message, and your honey, the love of your life, just quit you, no explanations or apologies.
If there was ever a time to stress, lose your mind, and scream at the top of your lungs, this is that one.
But you know what? Jesus is coming back. Wait, even before He gets here, it’s all okay. In the big picture, none of this is that deep. Period.
Really.
The stuff we deal with on a daily basis is annoying, inconvenient, distressing, and even unbearable, and most times we can’t see around our stuff; think there’s no way imaginable we’ll ever be able to overcome the thing; and certainly this is the case that’s going to throw us over the edge where the sharks will catch our fall. This, right here, feels like the end of the world. Well, if it is the end of the world, hopefully you’ve lived righteously and honorably so that God can say, “well done, jump in the chariot baby and let’s ride to the next level.”
It’s hard to move past how you’re feeling about all the ugly stuff that’s happening. You’re so caught up in it, even believing that it’ll all be okay is way beyond what you can grasp, and for anyone to suggest such means they haven’t got a clue. But after you’ve sat in your stuff for a while and turned it over and over, realizing that maybe there is nothing YOU can do about it, perhaps finding peace with it looks like believing (or convincing yourself) that it’s been worked out (for your good, by the way) and that you have to move on because life is much bigger than this thing right here that’s stopping you in this space.
You can’t just wish stuff away; sometimes you can’t even form your lips to say a prayer to pray the stuff away. But in the end - before the end – it’s really okay. Jesus is the reason for any season of your life, and if you can breathe, pray, cry, laugh, and work your way through all the stupid, inopportune, and excruciating stuff of your life, with the greatest amount of self-respect and decorum you can afford, it’s all okay - now, tomorrow, and the day the Lord comes to pick you up for your turn in heaven.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 16, 2007
She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.
-- Robin Williams, from the movie "Good Will Hunting"
You're a night owl; she's a morning person, powered each day by a rich cup of fresh brewed Peruvian java! You'd love a home in the mountains; for him, mountains mean de-icing the car at 5am and shoveling the snow just to get to the car. You want to read, he wants to talk – about work. You want steak for dinner; she prefers tofu and sprouts. You want to hang out with the boys; she wants you to stay in with her, again.
There are no rods spared on the kids' behinds around your house. But you can guarantee when they aren't, you and she, who doesn't believe in butt whippings, will have some terse words. She just bought another pair of "must-have" black shoes. This after last night's conversation about better budgeting, spending less, and saving for rainy days to come. Your work hours have become longer and more erratic; she and the kids seemed to have developed a new life of their own. She wants to make love with you for the fourth time this week; you're physically drained from working and remind her, "Baby, it's just Tuesday."
Sometimes the person we love and choose life with exists on our opposite pole, and it often seems unlikely that you and he/she could ever meet and create peace and agreement between you. You wonder how you ever accepted such huge differences in your outlooks and behaviors and whether you just need to simply acquiesce to the differences because that's just who you and he/she are. And, well, life really isn't that bad… right?
Because you and he/she love one other and are committed to a loving, lasting relationship, and because you know he/she wants to move beyond these differences, there is no way you can simply give in and become even further apart. You've got to find mid-points and connecting pieces that create balance for the relationship, balance that helps each partner see themselves in the other and find themselves at a perfect spot, in a perfect place, with the differences flattened to mere footnotes.
Maybe the mid-points look like this – "If we live in the mountains, we both shovel the snow at 5am or park the car at the end of the hill and walk down to it together." "Hang with your boys Thursday or Friday night, but Saturday night belongs to me." "Let's talk about which behaviors warrant beatings instead of breaking off a switch for everything." "I will limit my work to the weekdays and turn my cell phone off after 9pm." "I'll evenly spread my love-making requirements out through the course of the week, if you'll not work so much on the weekends and after 9pm."
Or some negotiation and balance thereof.
You owe yourselves opportunities to find your center, draw from one another, and make the differences mesh. Remember that her spontaneity and unconditional faith in you attracted you to her in the first place, and your respect and need for his stability, drive, and sexiness are the traits that keep you regarding him as home. It's up to you two to reconnect and link those opposite parts that make you one entity, whole, and perfect for one another.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Robin Williams, from the movie "Good Will Hunting"
You're a night owl; she's a morning person, powered each day by a rich cup of fresh brewed Peruvian java! You'd love a home in the mountains; for him, mountains mean de-icing the car at 5am and shoveling the snow just to get to the car. You want to read, he wants to talk – about work. You want steak for dinner; she prefers tofu and sprouts. You want to hang out with the boys; she wants you to stay in with her, again.
There are no rods spared on the kids' behinds around your house. But you can guarantee when they aren't, you and she, who doesn't believe in butt whippings, will have some terse words. She just bought another pair of "must-have" black shoes. This after last night's conversation about better budgeting, spending less, and saving for rainy days to come. Your work hours have become longer and more erratic; she and the kids seemed to have developed a new life of their own. She wants to make love with you for the fourth time this week; you're physically drained from working and remind her, "Baby, it's just Tuesday."
Sometimes the person we love and choose life with exists on our opposite pole, and it often seems unlikely that you and he/she could ever meet and create peace and agreement between you. You wonder how you ever accepted such huge differences in your outlooks and behaviors and whether you just need to simply acquiesce to the differences because that's just who you and he/she are. And, well, life really isn't that bad… right?
Because you and he/she love one other and are committed to a loving, lasting relationship, and because you know he/she wants to move beyond these differences, there is no way you can simply give in and become even further apart. You've got to find mid-points and connecting pieces that create balance for the relationship, balance that helps each partner see themselves in the other and find themselves at a perfect spot, in a perfect place, with the differences flattened to mere footnotes.
Maybe the mid-points look like this – "If we live in the mountains, we both shovel the snow at 5am or park the car at the end of the hill and walk down to it together." "Hang with your boys Thursday or Friday night, but Saturday night belongs to me." "Let's talk about which behaviors warrant beatings instead of breaking off a switch for everything." "I will limit my work to the weekdays and turn my cell phone off after 9pm." "I'll evenly spread my love-making requirements out through the course of the week, if you'll not work so much on the weekends and after 9pm."
Or some negotiation and balance thereof.
You owe yourselves opportunities to find your center, draw from one another, and make the differences mesh. Remember that her spontaneity and unconditional faith in you attracted you to her in the first place, and your respect and need for his stability, drive, and sexiness are the traits that keep you regarding him as home. It's up to you two to reconnect and link those opposite parts that make you one entity, whole, and perfect for one another.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 15, 2007
When we love someone our love becomes demonstrable or real only through our exertion – through the fact that for someone (or for ourselves) we take an extra step or walk an extra mile. Love is not effortless; to the contrary, love is effortful!
-- M. Scott Peck
The person that told you love would be easy - that all you gotta do is love them, stay beside them, tell them how special they are, then love them some more - should be slapped in the mouth with a fat fish. The movies and 30-minute situation comedies make love look so easy, logical, and salvageable. By the time the credits roll, everything is hunky dory, love has conquered all, the Neilson ratings put this show at number 1, and the Oscar goes to…
You've even got some friends that make love-giving and -receiving appear simple and painless. Always laughing together, going out on dates together, even dancing under the moonlight when they feel the urge. Bless their hearts. Shoot them.
In your years of experience, you've come to know that love-giving, -receiving, and -keeping are just not easy, even on a sunny day with no clouds in sight. In some cases, love and its expressions have looked like a job that pays only enough to keep the house note paid and the lights on, but never enough to feed you. Sometimes love and its stuff look like the mug shot of a wiry-haired blind schizophrenic - not pretty, never stable enough to focus or hold your energies, causing you to be paranoid about its existence in your life, but caught, nonetheless, in its grasp.
The pull and tug you go through just to keep love flickering tire your emotional muscles. The redefining of what you thought you knew about love, about yourself, and about human nature become second nature, but only if done in concert with your lover, through consistent and honest communication, and a desire to use the new definitions and subtexts for reaching your next levels together. Love requires hashing and rehashing until it becomes something strong and serviceable. You've got to look deeply into your lover and open yourself to him or her, going to the very bottom, throwing out stuff that won't work here, and filling in the gaps with salve, glue, tears to douse and revive dry bones, vigorous laughter that echoes and bounces around like a racquetball, and fervent prayers to keep it all stitched up and functioning. And none of this is easy or effortless; sometimes it's downright drudgery. As a matter of fact, it may require an advanced degree with ongoing professional development!
The only reason your friends can love this way is because they've put in blood, sweat, and tears work. They've gone the extra mile and taken the extra step, over and over again. And it's only because they did this they even want to keep laughing and dancing with one another. They have become doctors of love. Yeah, go 'head, look to them.
Don't fool yourself, it's not easy. If you want love - real solid, gutsy, scaling-all-buildings love - you've got to work at it. Anything less is a sit-com and should be put out of its misery.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- M. Scott Peck
The person that told you love would be easy - that all you gotta do is love them, stay beside them, tell them how special they are, then love them some more - should be slapped in the mouth with a fat fish. The movies and 30-minute situation comedies make love look so easy, logical, and salvageable. By the time the credits roll, everything is hunky dory, love has conquered all, the Neilson ratings put this show at number 1, and the Oscar goes to…
You've even got some friends that make love-giving and -receiving appear simple and painless. Always laughing together, going out on dates together, even dancing under the moonlight when they feel the urge. Bless their hearts. Shoot them.
In your years of experience, you've come to know that love-giving, -receiving, and -keeping are just not easy, even on a sunny day with no clouds in sight. In some cases, love and its expressions have looked like a job that pays only enough to keep the house note paid and the lights on, but never enough to feed you. Sometimes love and its stuff look like the mug shot of a wiry-haired blind schizophrenic - not pretty, never stable enough to focus or hold your energies, causing you to be paranoid about its existence in your life, but caught, nonetheless, in its grasp.
The pull and tug you go through just to keep love flickering tire your emotional muscles. The redefining of what you thought you knew about love, about yourself, and about human nature become second nature, but only if done in concert with your lover, through consistent and honest communication, and a desire to use the new definitions and subtexts for reaching your next levels together. Love requires hashing and rehashing until it becomes something strong and serviceable. You've got to look deeply into your lover and open yourself to him or her, going to the very bottom, throwing out stuff that won't work here, and filling in the gaps with salve, glue, tears to douse and revive dry bones, vigorous laughter that echoes and bounces around like a racquetball, and fervent prayers to keep it all stitched up and functioning. And none of this is easy or effortless; sometimes it's downright drudgery. As a matter of fact, it may require an advanced degree with ongoing professional development!
The only reason your friends can love this way is because they've put in blood, sweat, and tears work. They've gone the extra mile and taken the extra step, over and over again. And it's only because they did this they even want to keep laughing and dancing with one another. They have become doctors of love. Yeah, go 'head, look to them.
Don't fool yourself, it's not easy. If you want love - real solid, gutsy, scaling-all-buildings love - you've got to work at it. Anything less is a sit-com and should be put out of its misery.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 14, 2007
Those who love each other tell each other a thousand times without talking.
-- Chinese Proverb
Love is shown in your sleeping rituals, his leg wrapped around your leg. It can be felt in the gentle urgency of your 4:00 a.m. touch, tender, yet eager. Love is seen in the sated gazes after your best moment.
Love is tasted in your coffee as she fixes it with just the right amount of cream and never skimps on your required 2 tablespoons of sugar. Love is in the ease with which your car runs because he checks its oil and fluid levels each Tuesday morning before you leave for work. Love is on your cell phone because he sent a text asking whether he should pick up the dinner before he comes home from work. Love is waiting at home because you prepared his favorite meal.
Love feels like the pat on the back you give your son as he works on his quadratic formulas and polynomials. Love is heard amid the evening's varied conversations about school, upcoming Cinderella slumber parties, work, and life's treatment of everybody in general. Love is like the bubbly strawberry waters of bath time, the care exhibited in choosing and laying out tomorrow's clothes, the signing of permission forms to go on the class field trip next week, and the preparing of tomorrow's healthy lunches fit for the Prince, Princess, King and Queen.
Love looks like the time you take tucking your daughter in bed and her every last excuse to be close to you before she gives in to sleep - "Mommy, can we read the story one more time?" "Daddy, will you rock me to sleep?" Love is the one more time you give in to her pleas.
Love is the way your dog sits beside your feet, covering them with her head. Love is her moving when you move and following you through the house until you're still again so she can sit back down beside you and cover your feet again.
Love is felt in the silence as you and he listen to the late night news together, shaking your heads in unison at the outrageous news the broadcaster reports, then later laughing in concert at David Letterman's jokes.
Love is turning the lights off, kissing good night, and starting it all over again.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Chinese Proverb
Love is shown in your sleeping rituals, his leg wrapped around your leg. It can be felt in the gentle urgency of your 4:00 a.m. touch, tender, yet eager. Love is seen in the sated gazes after your best moment.
Love is tasted in your coffee as she fixes it with just the right amount of cream and never skimps on your required 2 tablespoons of sugar. Love is in the ease with which your car runs because he checks its oil and fluid levels each Tuesday morning before you leave for work. Love is on your cell phone because he sent a text asking whether he should pick up the dinner before he comes home from work. Love is waiting at home because you prepared his favorite meal.
Love feels like the pat on the back you give your son as he works on his quadratic formulas and polynomials. Love is heard amid the evening's varied conversations about school, upcoming Cinderella slumber parties, work, and life's treatment of everybody in general. Love is like the bubbly strawberry waters of bath time, the care exhibited in choosing and laying out tomorrow's clothes, the signing of permission forms to go on the class field trip next week, and the preparing of tomorrow's healthy lunches fit for the Prince, Princess, King and Queen.
Love looks like the time you take tucking your daughter in bed and her every last excuse to be close to you before she gives in to sleep - "Mommy, can we read the story one more time?" "Daddy, will you rock me to sleep?" Love is the one more time you give in to her pleas.
Love is the way your dog sits beside your feet, covering them with her head. Love is her moving when you move and following you through the house until you're still again so she can sit back down beside you and cover your feet again.
Love is felt in the silence as you and he listen to the late night news together, shaking your heads in unison at the outrageous news the broadcaster reports, then later laughing in concert at David Letterman's jokes.
Love is turning the lights off, kissing good night, and starting it all over again.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 13, 2007
I’m lost without you, can’t help myself. How does it feel to know that I love you baby?
-- “Lost Without You” as recorded by Robin Thicke
Ah yes, he feels good to your Soul and has made his mark on your heart and in your life. He’s all you’ve ever asked for – smart, ambitious, self-sufficient, and, yes honey, he’s fine. He makes you laugh with his life’s stories and cry because of them – a balance only accomplished because of his need to share honestly and meaningfully with you. He’s a breath of fresh air, fully involved in life and evolved through life which ultimately inspires your life. He makes you want to keep your toes polished and the saddlebags at a minimum so you’ll always be physically attractive to him. He rouses you to improve your culinary skills so that you can amply feed him fully and righteously. And while, on the real, his horse may be beige, taupe, or damn near brown, and his coat-of-arms may be a bit crumpled he can still sweep your big assets off the ground and fly you to the moon, or at least somewhere down the street from the moon’s sister, the sun. He’s real, solid, sexy, and you adore him.
But somewhere along the way, they told you a man like this was too good to be true. They said a man like this, a love that feels like this, can’t be true, or logical, for that matter, and certainly won’t last, so, girl, you need to get over it and just go find you a man who can help you pay the bills and take care them kids. They said you must be crazy out of your mind holding out like that for some supercalifragilistic love. Go’n girl, they said, and just settle for some meat and potatoes, and maybe you can get a Big-K Cola in a paper cup on the side.
Well, first ask yourself, who is this “they” and what difference does it make what “they” say?
There is not a soul that can negate how you feel. Nor is there one who should tell you how you should feel. You know how you feel. When he’s away, you miss him. When he’s near, you can’t get enough. You do feel lost without him and, no, you can’t help it. While you know you’re not really “lost” – you know you’re right here, living a full and productive – parts of you are longing and hungry for his oomph and chi that simply complement you vim and vigor. You do love him, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And, you know what, everything in the world isn’t meant to be logical, especially not love and what you feel for the man who curls your toes just by saying your name. That is absolutely okay.
And, they can...
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- “Lost Without You” as recorded by Robin Thicke
Ah yes, he feels good to your Soul and has made his mark on your heart and in your life. He’s all you’ve ever asked for – smart, ambitious, self-sufficient, and, yes honey, he’s fine. He makes you laugh with his life’s stories and cry because of them – a balance only accomplished because of his need to share honestly and meaningfully with you. He’s a breath of fresh air, fully involved in life and evolved through life which ultimately inspires your life. He makes you want to keep your toes polished and the saddlebags at a minimum so you’ll always be physically attractive to him. He rouses you to improve your culinary skills so that you can amply feed him fully and righteously. And while, on the real, his horse may be beige, taupe, or damn near brown, and his coat-of-arms may be a bit crumpled he can still sweep your big assets off the ground and fly you to the moon, or at least somewhere down the street from the moon’s sister, the sun. He’s real, solid, sexy, and you adore him.
But somewhere along the way, they told you a man like this was too good to be true. They said a man like this, a love that feels like this, can’t be true, or logical, for that matter, and certainly won’t last, so, girl, you need to get over it and just go find you a man who can help you pay the bills and take care them kids. They said you must be crazy out of your mind holding out like that for some supercalifragilistic love. Go’n girl, they said, and just settle for some meat and potatoes, and maybe you can get a Big-K Cola in a paper cup on the side.
Well, first ask yourself, who is this “they” and what difference does it make what “they” say?
There is not a soul that can negate how you feel. Nor is there one who should tell you how you should feel. You know how you feel. When he’s away, you miss him. When he’s near, you can’t get enough. You do feel lost without him and, no, you can’t help it. While you know you’re not really “lost” – you know you’re right here, living a full and productive – parts of you are longing and hungry for his oomph and chi that simply complement you vim and vigor. You do love him, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And, you know what, everything in the world isn’t meant to be logical, especially not love and what you feel for the man who curls your toes just by saying your name. That is absolutely okay.
And, they can...
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 12, 2007
.. Maybe we'll live and learn; maybe we'll crash and burn. Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave, maybe you'll return. Maybe you'll never find, maybe we won't survive. But maybe we'll grow, we never know, baby you and I, we're just ordinary people, we don't know which way to go…
-- "Ordinary People" as recorded by John Legend
You love her. She completes you, makes your world round and full. She understands you, better than you understand yourself most of the time. Your Selves are molded together; she pumps your blood, you support her organs, you and she breathe on the same beat and feed good stuff to one another's soul. She thinks your thoughts; you finish her sentences, even read her mind. You feel her touch, hear her breath, smell her scent even when she's far away; she's all over you. You see inside her and find what you need to just be. She's your strength, your security, and the place you find your truest, easiest Self. You grow with her; come alive with her; create, advance, and improve because of her. She is you, the woman God ordained and appointed for you; the one to whom you have given your rib.
But, good Lord, she infuriates you so badly sometimes that all you want to do is snatch that rib back and chew the gristle into little itty bitty pieces, then spit it out, sit on the couch, and watch a game or a Clint Eastwood movie! Geez, this woman!
But, then, you know you can't live without her. So you just go to another room or sleep on the couch. Or, maybe you just hang up the phone, don't call for a day or so. After your frustration subsides, you pick right back up where you left off loving her. And she loves you so she's there to receive you... until the next time, when it happens all over again. John Legend sings, "Sometimes it's heaven sent, [then] we head back to hell again, we kiss and we make up on the way."
And so love goes…
The love of fantasy, the light-hearted, sugar-coated things that you grew up believing about love and relationships fade in the throes of living love in reality. It's not all roses and daisies. It's not picture perfect, and sometimes the picture is so out of focus and indistinguishable, you wonder is this love at all. Your relationship has no blueprint. There is no instruction manual, only reminiscences of love you've seen or tried in the past. Your really don't know which way to go.
We bring a lot to our relationships. Sometimes we're emotionally healthy; most times we aren't. Sometimes we're bullheaded and selfish, and crack under the pressure and responsibilities love places over us. But sometimes the weight of love is what we need to stay grounded. Sometimes the up and down is what keeps us attuned to one another and fighting for the life of one another. And while, on a good day, love only makes sense in your head, it's up to you and her to make love look like and work the way you need it to. No guidebooks, no standards or true archetypes. Just you and she, ordinary people who love each other, trying to figure out which way to go.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- "Ordinary People" as recorded by John Legend
You love her. She completes you, makes your world round and full. She understands you, better than you understand yourself most of the time. Your Selves are molded together; she pumps your blood, you support her organs, you and she breathe on the same beat and feed good stuff to one another's soul. She thinks your thoughts; you finish her sentences, even read her mind. You feel her touch, hear her breath, smell her scent even when she's far away; she's all over you. You see inside her and find what you need to just be. She's your strength, your security, and the place you find your truest, easiest Self. You grow with her; come alive with her; create, advance, and improve because of her. She is you, the woman God ordained and appointed for you; the one to whom you have given your rib.
But, good Lord, she infuriates you so badly sometimes that all you want to do is snatch that rib back and chew the gristle into little itty bitty pieces, then spit it out, sit on the couch, and watch a game or a Clint Eastwood movie! Geez, this woman!
But, then, you know you can't live without her. So you just go to another room or sleep on the couch. Or, maybe you just hang up the phone, don't call for a day or so. After your frustration subsides, you pick right back up where you left off loving her. And she loves you so she's there to receive you... until the next time, when it happens all over again. John Legend sings, "Sometimes it's heaven sent, [then] we head back to hell again, we kiss and we make up on the way."
And so love goes…
The love of fantasy, the light-hearted, sugar-coated things that you grew up believing about love and relationships fade in the throes of living love in reality. It's not all roses and daisies. It's not picture perfect, and sometimes the picture is so out of focus and indistinguishable, you wonder is this love at all. Your relationship has no blueprint. There is no instruction manual, only reminiscences of love you've seen or tried in the past. Your really don't know which way to go.
We bring a lot to our relationships. Sometimes we're emotionally healthy; most times we aren't. Sometimes we're bullheaded and selfish, and crack under the pressure and responsibilities love places over us. But sometimes the weight of love is what we need to stay grounded. Sometimes the up and down is what keeps us attuned to one another and fighting for the life of one another. And while, on a good day, love only makes sense in your head, it's up to you and her to make love look like and work the way you need it to. No guidebooks, no standards or true archetypes. Just you and she, ordinary people who love each other, trying to figure out which way to go.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 9, 2007
Before you get in someone’s face, be sure your breath doesn’t stink.
-- A Kindergarten student reprimanded for running down the hallway
Do you remember as a child when your teacher leaned over you to help you with your reading or just stood close to you as they lectured, and you smelled the remnants of coffee, a pack of Kool, Pall Mall, Marlboros or Virginia Slims, and whatever else they ate that left that unpleasant smell floating in their mouth? You would try your hardest, without being impolite or conspicuous, to move away from the stale smell only to have that teacher move closer to you because she believed you weren’t really listening or paying attention. Of course nothing’s changed; teachers still drink coffee, smoke cigarettes (though far less than when we were younger), eat bad-breath-producing food, and then get in a kid’s face to get their point across. And there’s not a peppermint in the world that can kill any of it!
Now you’re the adult, trying still to forget sensory memories of “teacher breath,” and people have gotten in your face. Not only is their breath foul, so is their message. And the message is not only foul because of the intrusion and assault it’s placed on you, the messenger has some funky issues of their own that completely disqualify him/her from being in your face in the first place. You know these people – the ones who are gripped and hell-bent on telling you how and why to arrange the matters in your life, when every failure and breakdown in theirs sticks out like spicy mustard on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. They’re always ready to tell you what is wrong, where you went wrong, and how wrong you will remain if you do not follow their simple solutions. These are the folks who have all your answers but none for their own situations or circumstances, and, in many cases, even less awareness that something is not right for them.
This is not to suggest that other people can’t help you see some of your difficulties even though they stumble in their own stuff. Sometimes others do have or discover your cure while they’re going through and desperately seeking a way out of their frustrations. In fact, the best way to receive your deliverance is to help someone else receive theirs. This is not an indictment on watching (or ministering) over the welfare of others, but of not looking in a mirror to see the thorn in your own eye. Jesus cautions that pointing the finger at other’s faults without checking yourself first is hypocritical and certainly counter to the ways in which He wants us to respond to one another.
Believe it or not, teachers can taste the bad smell and know they should put something sweet in their mouths to lighten the odor. However, they don’t because they can’t stop. Time is of the essence. They are bound by the Standards which must be covered in a short period of time. Conversely, the spoilsport who never ceases to stop their unqualified interference into your space often has no idea he’s raggedy, and will continue to be in your space until you stop the madness in its tracks. Whatever gave them space to believe they could tend your welfare must be exorcised and a new arrangement negotiated. If you want them out of your face, space, and business, put them out (lovingly, if you can), then shut the door (quietly, if you can) to any mention of your stuff.
Anything different will always call up memories of “teacher breath.”
Sadiqqa © 2008
-- A Kindergarten student reprimanded for running down the hallway
Do you remember as a child when your teacher leaned over you to help you with your reading or just stood close to you as they lectured, and you smelled the remnants of coffee, a pack of Kool, Pall Mall, Marlboros or Virginia Slims, and whatever else they ate that left that unpleasant smell floating in their mouth? You would try your hardest, without being impolite or conspicuous, to move away from the stale smell only to have that teacher move closer to you because she believed you weren’t really listening or paying attention. Of course nothing’s changed; teachers still drink coffee, smoke cigarettes (though far less than when we were younger), eat bad-breath-producing food, and then get in a kid’s face to get their point across. And there’s not a peppermint in the world that can kill any of it!
Now you’re the adult, trying still to forget sensory memories of “teacher breath,” and people have gotten in your face. Not only is their breath foul, so is their message. And the message is not only foul because of the intrusion and assault it’s placed on you, the messenger has some funky issues of their own that completely disqualify him/her from being in your face in the first place. You know these people – the ones who are gripped and hell-bent on telling you how and why to arrange the matters in your life, when every failure and breakdown in theirs sticks out like spicy mustard on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. They’re always ready to tell you what is wrong, where you went wrong, and how wrong you will remain if you do not follow their simple solutions. These are the folks who have all your answers but none for their own situations or circumstances, and, in many cases, even less awareness that something is not right for them.
This is not to suggest that other people can’t help you see some of your difficulties even though they stumble in their own stuff. Sometimes others do have or discover your cure while they’re going through and desperately seeking a way out of their frustrations. In fact, the best way to receive your deliverance is to help someone else receive theirs. This is not an indictment on watching (or ministering) over the welfare of others, but of not looking in a mirror to see the thorn in your own eye. Jesus cautions that pointing the finger at other’s faults without checking yourself first is hypocritical and certainly counter to the ways in which He wants us to respond to one another.
Believe it or not, teachers can taste the bad smell and know they should put something sweet in their mouths to lighten the odor. However, they don’t because they can’t stop. Time is of the essence. They are bound by the Standards which must be covered in a short period of time. Conversely, the spoilsport who never ceases to stop their unqualified interference into your space often has no idea he’s raggedy, and will continue to be in your space until you stop the madness in its tracks. Whatever gave them space to believe they could tend your welfare must be exorcised and a new arrangement negotiated. If you want them out of your face, space, and business, put them out (lovingly, if you can), then shut the door (quietly, if you can) to any mention of your stuff.
Anything different will always call up memories of “teacher breath.”
Sadiqqa © 2008
Feb 8, 2007
You are beautiful! The Spirit of God shines through you. The Spirit of God is at home in you. Your hands impart the warmth of the sun. Your voice can sound as a thousand harps on a celebration day in heaven. You move with the grace and mystery of the moon.
-- Esther Davis-Thompson, “MotherLove”
You are beautiful. Every single detail about you makes you entirely appealing. It’s the way your eyes sparkle when you look upon a thing, any thing. It’s the way you keep your head to the sky to not only look to God for your answers, but also to watch the birds, clouds, and all that nature presents in it firmament. It’s the way you sway when you walk as if you were the ocean’s waters moving gracefully and decidedly about the earth. It’s all in your presence, the sheer power and tenderness of it, that lights up every room you enter and unfurls every heart you touch. You sure are fine.
You are awesome. So awesome. Even in adversity, your hope comes through to prove that you are loyal, unshakable, and capable of initiating the change you need in your life. You volley well when you are thrown disorder that seeks to disrupt your life, whipping it instead into something that will complement the extraordinary Self you are. You look good putting it all together, even with the frown it makes you don. Your magnetism resides in the diligence with which you labor, so the frown serves only as an expression of prudence and sincerity. You are truly exceptional.
You are amazing. The way you allow others to see underneath the surface, treating vulnerability and transparency with honor and requisites for free and honest living, that’s awesome. The boldness of such actions put you far above any imperfections, for as you’ve become astutely aware of your dysfunctions, you’ve placed them on the table to sift through, dismantle, and discard. You’ve done the work that others only talk about, and you’ve encouraged and led those around you to do the same. My how phenomenal you are.
You are, you are, and you are. With out a doubt, you are.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Esther Davis-Thompson, “MotherLove”
You are beautiful. Every single detail about you makes you entirely appealing. It’s the way your eyes sparkle when you look upon a thing, any thing. It’s the way you keep your head to the sky to not only look to God for your answers, but also to watch the birds, clouds, and all that nature presents in it firmament. It’s the way you sway when you walk as if you were the ocean’s waters moving gracefully and decidedly about the earth. It’s all in your presence, the sheer power and tenderness of it, that lights up every room you enter and unfurls every heart you touch. You sure are fine.
You are awesome. So awesome. Even in adversity, your hope comes through to prove that you are loyal, unshakable, and capable of initiating the change you need in your life. You volley well when you are thrown disorder that seeks to disrupt your life, whipping it instead into something that will complement the extraordinary Self you are. You look good putting it all together, even with the frown it makes you don. Your magnetism resides in the diligence with which you labor, so the frown serves only as an expression of prudence and sincerity. You are truly exceptional.
You are amazing. The way you allow others to see underneath the surface, treating vulnerability and transparency with honor and requisites for free and honest living, that’s awesome. The boldness of such actions put you far above any imperfections, for as you’ve become astutely aware of your dysfunctions, you’ve placed them on the table to sift through, dismantle, and discard. You’ve done the work that others only talk about, and you’ve encouraged and led those around you to do the same. My how phenomenal you are.
You are, you are, and you are. With out a doubt, you are.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 7, 2007
All these furnaces of trial as they are, purify and ennoble the man who has to pass through them. -- Samuel Ringgold Ward, abolitionist and newspaper editor
All our lives we've been faced with a multitude of challenges. Each day can bring a simple test for you to scale or those that seem to knock the very life from you. And sometimes problems do knock you out – so low you can't fathom getting up, recovering, forgiving or forgetting. But remember that issue that pledged to rip your skin off this time last Wednesday, the one that left you heartbroken, cheated, and just plain angry? Today it's not the big fire-breathing dragon it was then, is it? It may still haunt you, but it didn't kill you. In fact, it did make you stronger, wiser, and much more alert. AND, guess what? You're still here!
What if the 10 million captives on the ships that sailed through the Middle Passage had not willed themselves to live? Imagine your ancestors treated as savages, shackled to one another, breathing the other's tainted air, not knowing where they were headed, but trusting God to protect them from the ravages imposed upon them, imagine they had perished. We may not have been conceived to ensure tragedies such as this never happen again.
Had Black folk been privy to the esteemed halls of higher education, HBCUs may have never been born to produce some of the finest leaders and thinkers of our time. Had Oprah not divulged and survived her sexual and drug abuse, would she be able to empower others beyond their circumstances? If Ida B. Wells' friends had not been lynched and she forced from her home in Memphis, it's quite possible laws would not exist that outlaw the practice of lynching, and, like Billie Holliday, we'd still see strange fruit hanging from some Southern trees. And if Judas had not betrayed Jesus, would we receive eternal life?
There's always a lesson and blessing in the struggle as nothing just happens by coincidence. While you're going through it, it may be hard to see how it's all connected. It may be difficult to smile, work, eat or any other thing necessary for healthy functioning. But on the other side, just over the mountain, after acknowledgement and honest appraisal of the dysfunction, lay the peace you've always sought and the love your heart craves. And because you went through and made it, you are available to minister to others and capable of receiving peace, love and so much more. Let your pain and suffering heal the world. Speak from it; conquer as a result of it. From your pain, bring about a new thing.
Sadiqqa © 2007
All our lives we've been faced with a multitude of challenges. Each day can bring a simple test for you to scale or those that seem to knock the very life from you. And sometimes problems do knock you out – so low you can't fathom getting up, recovering, forgiving or forgetting. But remember that issue that pledged to rip your skin off this time last Wednesday, the one that left you heartbroken, cheated, and just plain angry? Today it's not the big fire-breathing dragon it was then, is it? It may still haunt you, but it didn't kill you. In fact, it did make you stronger, wiser, and much more alert. AND, guess what? You're still here!
What if the 10 million captives on the ships that sailed through the Middle Passage had not willed themselves to live? Imagine your ancestors treated as savages, shackled to one another, breathing the other's tainted air, not knowing where they were headed, but trusting God to protect them from the ravages imposed upon them, imagine they had perished. We may not have been conceived to ensure tragedies such as this never happen again.
Had Black folk been privy to the esteemed halls of higher education, HBCUs may have never been born to produce some of the finest leaders and thinkers of our time. Had Oprah not divulged and survived her sexual and drug abuse, would she be able to empower others beyond their circumstances? If Ida B. Wells' friends had not been lynched and she forced from her home in Memphis, it's quite possible laws would not exist that outlaw the practice of lynching, and, like Billie Holliday, we'd still see strange fruit hanging from some Southern trees. And if Judas had not betrayed Jesus, would we receive eternal life?
There's always a lesson and blessing in the struggle as nothing just happens by coincidence. While you're going through it, it may be hard to see how it's all connected. It may be difficult to smile, work, eat or any other thing necessary for healthy functioning. But on the other side, just over the mountain, after acknowledgement and honest appraisal of the dysfunction, lay the peace you've always sought and the love your heart craves. And because you went through and made it, you are available to minister to others and capable of receiving peace, love and so much more. Let your pain and suffering heal the world. Speak from it; conquer as a result of it. From your pain, bring about a new thing.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 6, 2007
Be careful what you set your heart on, for it will surely be yours.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We’re settling into the new year and you are well into a nice groove. You’re now writing ‘07 instead of ‘06; you’ve organized the linen closet, scrubbed the corners of each room, and given away 12 pairs of shoes. You are fully committed and involved in that grueling exercise regime you plotted; your regular intake of dark leafy greens, fruits, whole grains, and only lean portions of protein have become your daily norm; and your doctor says you’re in the best health of your life! And just look at all the blessings you’ve collected! In the first month of 2007 alone, you have added over $1200 to your interest-bearing savings account. Big props on landing that long-term money-making-in-your-sleep account. That 6-figure house you just sold should have you sitting pretty for awhile. Congrats on getting that awesome platinum princess-cut 5-carat diamond rock placed on your finger. And didn’t you just put that last mortgage check in the mail this morning? Ain’t God good!
Wait, you did ask for these blessings, right? You did ask God to consecrate your harvest and increase your bounty, didn’t you? Okay, so maybe it hasn’t happened just yet. That’s okay; it’s still early in the year.
Remember that Sunday morning when the Spirit hit you even before you stepped into Church, and you avowed in all sincerity and dedication that beginning that day, however God chose to use you, He could certainly send you. But, when your cousin, who is phenomenal for borrowing money and forgetting to pay it back, called you with yet another request for the use of your money, did you even answer the telephone? When that family who needed a place to stay the other evening approached you about using your extra bedroom, didn’t you tell them your house was being repainted and that even you had to stay with your mama? Doesn’t your mama stay with you? And, when it was your turn - as indicated on your refrigerator calendar - to use your special recipe to make the beans for Friday night dinner at the shelter, didn’t you strategically forget to even buy the beans, but once you got to the shelter to “help” out, you ate 2 plates of the others’ food and took three plates home – one for later in the evening, one for tomorrow, and one to freeze for next week?
Wait, you did ask to be used, right? You weren’t just led by that great gospel song you heard before getting out of the car to go into Church that Sunday morning, right? It was the Word that resonated in your Spirit that made you want to go for God, right? Oh, it’s early in the year; that’s right.
Are the feelings of panic, frustration, and anger you feel at not having yet received what you asked God for the same feelings you have for not giving God what He asked you for? You asked God for all these blessings and God asked you to serve Him; to be His voice, feet, and hands; to find your joy in Him, not things. You said you would. God said He’d give you grace and the desires of your heart if you delight (serve and find joy) in Him. So do you? Hmmm, perhaps because you’ve been a little self-centered about stepping out of your comfort areas to serve is the reason those blessings you’re expecting haven’t come into fruition yet.
You asked for it – to be blessed AND to be made available to others in need. Both receiving and giving are serious business; don’t play with them. One doesn’t happen absent the other; they are dependant upon one another. When you give of yourself, blessing others, attending their needs as you can, you miraculously receive two-fold in return. All that you desire is yours as you open your heart and serve even the least of these. You must willingly and unpretentiously allow God to use you and not be selective about how He has chosen to do that. That’s how and when it all pans out.
So go on. Get used. You said you would go. God promises, you’ll get yours.
Sadiqqa © 2008
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We’re settling into the new year and you are well into a nice groove. You’re now writing ‘07 instead of ‘06; you’ve organized the linen closet, scrubbed the corners of each room, and given away 12 pairs of shoes. You are fully committed and involved in that grueling exercise regime you plotted; your regular intake of dark leafy greens, fruits, whole grains, and only lean portions of protein have become your daily norm; and your doctor says you’re in the best health of your life! And just look at all the blessings you’ve collected! In the first month of 2007 alone, you have added over $1200 to your interest-bearing savings account. Big props on landing that long-term money-making-in-your-sleep account. That 6-figure house you just sold should have you sitting pretty for awhile. Congrats on getting that awesome platinum princess-cut 5-carat diamond rock placed on your finger. And didn’t you just put that last mortgage check in the mail this morning? Ain’t God good!
Wait, you did ask for these blessings, right? You did ask God to consecrate your harvest and increase your bounty, didn’t you? Okay, so maybe it hasn’t happened just yet. That’s okay; it’s still early in the year.
Remember that Sunday morning when the Spirit hit you even before you stepped into Church, and you avowed in all sincerity and dedication that beginning that day, however God chose to use you, He could certainly send you. But, when your cousin, who is phenomenal for borrowing money and forgetting to pay it back, called you with yet another request for the use of your money, did you even answer the telephone? When that family who needed a place to stay the other evening approached you about using your extra bedroom, didn’t you tell them your house was being repainted and that even you had to stay with your mama? Doesn’t your mama stay with you? And, when it was your turn - as indicated on your refrigerator calendar - to use your special recipe to make the beans for Friday night dinner at the shelter, didn’t you strategically forget to even buy the beans, but once you got to the shelter to “help” out, you ate 2 plates of the others’ food and took three plates home – one for later in the evening, one for tomorrow, and one to freeze for next week?
Wait, you did ask to be used, right? You weren’t just led by that great gospel song you heard before getting out of the car to go into Church that Sunday morning, right? It was the Word that resonated in your Spirit that made you want to go for God, right? Oh, it’s early in the year; that’s right.
Are the feelings of panic, frustration, and anger you feel at not having yet received what you asked God for the same feelings you have for not giving God what He asked you for? You asked God for all these blessings and God asked you to serve Him; to be His voice, feet, and hands; to find your joy in Him, not things. You said you would. God said He’d give you grace and the desires of your heart if you delight (serve and find joy) in Him. So do you? Hmmm, perhaps because you’ve been a little self-centered about stepping out of your comfort areas to serve is the reason those blessings you’re expecting haven’t come into fruition yet.
You asked for it – to be blessed AND to be made available to others in need. Both receiving and giving are serious business; don’t play with them. One doesn’t happen absent the other; they are dependant upon one another. When you give of yourself, blessing others, attending their needs as you can, you miraculously receive two-fold in return. All that you desire is yours as you open your heart and serve even the least of these. You must willingly and unpretentiously allow God to use you and not be selective about how He has chosen to do that. That’s how and when it all pans out.
So go on. Get used. You said you would go. God promises, you’ll get yours.
Sadiqqa © 2008
Feb 5, 2007
The nourisher must learn to be nourished.
-- Bishop T. D. Jakes
A friend asked if I were to receive a gift card, where would I want it to be from. Of course the first thing that came from my survivalist brain and mouth was, “Kroger, or the Super-Walmart so I can multitask.” She then reminded me that my baby and my home were not what she asked me about, that both of them already had more stuff than anybody could ever imagine. “You,” she insisted. “I'm asking about you.”
Now, I could have argued with her, as I’m prone to do, that my kid, my home, and my dog are extensions of me and whatever made them happy and comfortable certainly made me so. I could have told her that when they’re alright, I’m alright. But that would have been cheating (and a lie). That line of thinking qualifies as allowing other stuff to define you, speak for you, and be you. To fill your voids and cover up your sense of lack and longing. To shape your day so it won’t seem pointless, satisfy your need to be busy so you won’t go crazy, and confirm that you are alive, although only to meet the desires of everybody else.
So, while I paused and thought, and wavered and thought, and then thought some more, she challenged me to use the next seven months to figure out what I liked. Okay, I’ll take the challenge and the clock is ticking.
I’m convinced that the task of focusing on your Self, your needs, likes, and dislikes is not always an easy one. The world makes it very difficult for you to give that kind of serious thought/energy to your Self. The demands of the day require that you be, know, have, and do, and to proceed otherwise is treason. The way of the world is to supply its demands and make your Self available just because it calls.
But that’s only if you buy-in and concede to what the world is serving. What would the world look like - what would we look like - if we actually took that time to intentionally and carefully think about our Selves? If we were to sift to the core of our Selves and pay attention to our inner ambiance, might we become self-centered and narcissistic, seeking only that which brings pleasure and satisfaction to our Selves? Or, would it be possible that as we begin to purposefully consider (and embrace) our Selves, we also begin to love others fully and freely, without requirement, reserve, or exception? Would we take the low road or the high road?
Although being self-absorbed may sometimes feel emancipating and the order of the hour, Brother Jesus commanded that we take the path far above the ground and love others as we love ourselves. And, if you accept that the real purpose for your life is to serve God, then at the outset, you’ve got to love (consider, reflect on, respect, care about) yourself. Essentially this means you’ve got to spend some time with you, getting to know you, feeding good stuff to yourself, so you can get all your love on.
Simple. Right?
So, what do you like? What do you need? Who are you? How do you care for your Self? When was the last time you did something just for you? If someone were to buy you a gift card, where would it be from? The clock is ticking…………
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Bishop T. D. Jakes
A friend asked if I were to receive a gift card, where would I want it to be from. Of course the first thing that came from my survivalist brain and mouth was, “Kroger, or the Super-Walmart so I can multitask.” She then reminded me that my baby and my home were not what she asked me about, that both of them already had more stuff than anybody could ever imagine. “You,” she insisted. “I'm asking about you.”
Now, I could have argued with her, as I’m prone to do, that my kid, my home, and my dog are extensions of me and whatever made them happy and comfortable certainly made me so. I could have told her that when they’re alright, I’m alright. But that would have been cheating (and a lie). That line of thinking qualifies as allowing other stuff to define you, speak for you, and be you. To fill your voids and cover up your sense of lack and longing. To shape your day so it won’t seem pointless, satisfy your need to be busy so you won’t go crazy, and confirm that you are alive, although only to meet the desires of everybody else.
So, while I paused and thought, and wavered and thought, and then thought some more, she challenged me to use the next seven months to figure out what I liked. Okay, I’ll take the challenge and the clock is ticking.
I’m convinced that the task of focusing on your Self, your needs, likes, and dislikes is not always an easy one. The world makes it very difficult for you to give that kind of serious thought/energy to your Self. The demands of the day require that you be, know, have, and do, and to proceed otherwise is treason. The way of the world is to supply its demands and make your Self available just because it calls.
But that’s only if you buy-in and concede to what the world is serving. What would the world look like - what would we look like - if we actually took that time to intentionally and carefully think about our Selves? If we were to sift to the core of our Selves and pay attention to our inner ambiance, might we become self-centered and narcissistic, seeking only that which brings pleasure and satisfaction to our Selves? Or, would it be possible that as we begin to purposefully consider (and embrace) our Selves, we also begin to love others fully and freely, without requirement, reserve, or exception? Would we take the low road or the high road?
Although being self-absorbed may sometimes feel emancipating and the order of the hour, Brother Jesus commanded that we take the path far above the ground and love others as we love ourselves. And, if you accept that the real purpose for your life is to serve God, then at the outset, you’ve got to love (consider, reflect on, respect, care about) yourself. Essentially this means you’ve got to spend some time with you, getting to know you, feeding good stuff to yourself, so you can get all your love on.
Simple. Right?
So, what do you like? What do you need? Who are you? How do you care for your Self? When was the last time you did something just for you? If someone were to buy you a gift card, where would it be from? The clock is ticking…………
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 2, 2007
Eventually the bill for lying to yourself for all these years comes due. You wake up one morning crazed with longing. A cord snaps inside, and everything in you cries out for something more: wholeness, depth, communion, freedom, genuine intimacy, and a peace within.
-- Rev. Dr. Renita J. Weems, from "What Matters Most: Ten Lessons in Living Passionately from the Song of Solomon"
Ahh! There you are standing on the balcony of St. Lucia’s Coconut Bay Resort and Spa, overlooking dreamy black and white sands and the luscious blue-green waters of the Atlantic shores. The fan above wistfully rotates sending a refreshing waft of warm air to ease the heat of the island’s sun. The sound of syncopated drums and a rasping voice calling for an end to oppression and injustice play pleasurably in the background, and the vitalizing taste of fresh strawberries, kiwi, grapes, pomegranates, plantains, and pineapples still linger on your tongue. Then you hear him snoring. You realize you're dreaming... and where did you get that funny taste in your mouth?
Actually, you’re in your kitchen, standing in front of the sink, nursing coffee too strong and wishing for a bigger house so you didn’t have to hear your husband’s snoring in the next room. (Or, maybe you could keep the house and get a different husband. Nah, they all snore.)
You scratch your scarfed-head and tug at your worn bathrobe and you wonder, where has all your joy gone? Where have your feelings of worthiness and purpose escaped. When did you allow them to leave and will you ever get them back?
Now, these musings haven’t come out of nowhere. You’re very familiar with this line of questioning. See, for many years you’ve wondered where you lost your happiness and optimism, your sense of passion and vitality. You remember when you were the life of the party, the one who was last to leave the joint, and the first to open her home for an impromptu bash. You’ve looked for your joy everywhere and you’re convinced it’s got to be somewhere between, “Do you take…?” and “I do,” or the kids and their needs, or between the 9 – 5 (or 6 or 7…) and the 24/7 of cooking, cleaning, and feeding everybody else’ desires at home. Or maybe you left it under the Mother Board, Usher Board, or otherwise bored at church. Wherever your stuff is, you desperately need it back.
Or maybe you never really had it, or at least not a good enough grip on it for it to even be recognized as joy. Perhaps you set it down to grab hold of this existence – the one that gives you someone to sleep next to and take care of the trash and oil and tire changes. Perhaps what you set down to accept this choice never really had a chance to materialize as happiness because everybody always told you what you needed was a spouse and he would in turn make you happy and provide you with everything you needed. And so if you were not happy, which they emphasized was never guaranteed anyway, you would have enough other stuff so that you could just look over being happy and simply exist inside the brace of a marital union. So how in the hell do you uncover or seize joy and ultimate wholeness if you never fully knew it in the first place and whatever you thought you knew got misplaced anyway, you ask as you take the last sip of bad coffee.
Now don’t get it wrong – you love your family, your church work, and your job – most of the time. And, really, you wouldn’t trade a thing for them… you think. But something inside you is parched and diminishing. Something doesn’t feel right. Something is incomplete. Something is aching for life that is deeper and richer and it won't be ignored. You’ve been able to set these feelings aside for some time now, but this is the year of Jubilee and no longer can you be a slave to mere survival and someone else’s decisions.
So you go to shake your husband awake, not realizing that you’re still on auto-pilot relying on him to bring you some joy (or attention and appreciation) when it hits you that whatever it is you need to do to find completion is not in another person; it’s in you, it belongs to you, and now is the time for you to call it to the surface. But how?
By trusting yourself. Trusting that you have all the answers you need to make you life what you want it to be. Trusting that while you love your family, they are not the end all and treating them as such not only drains you, but them as well. The stuff your feeling is requiring you to honor yourself, to sit with yourself and meditate on how each emotion feels within you. To ride those emotions and give them room to fully breathe. You are required to go beyond the labels and assumptions, putting on paper what and who you want to be and burning to a crisp that which no longer serves you on this part of your life’s journey. Tell your family and your friends what you need. They may not understand and may give you more grief than anybody else ever would. But if you stop this process of growth and evolvement, you’ll perish.
Trust God that this is your opportunity to get it right, make it work for you, and find the peace you need. Let everybody be and go find the You you’re in need of.
We’re praying for you.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- Rev. Dr. Renita J. Weems, from "What Matters Most: Ten Lessons in Living Passionately from the Song of Solomon"
Ahh! There you are standing on the balcony of St. Lucia’s Coconut Bay Resort and Spa, overlooking dreamy black and white sands and the luscious blue-green waters of the Atlantic shores. The fan above wistfully rotates sending a refreshing waft of warm air to ease the heat of the island’s sun. The sound of syncopated drums and a rasping voice calling for an end to oppression and injustice play pleasurably in the background, and the vitalizing taste of fresh strawberries, kiwi, grapes, pomegranates, plantains, and pineapples still linger on your tongue. Then you hear him snoring. You realize you're dreaming... and where did you get that funny taste in your mouth?
Actually, you’re in your kitchen, standing in front of the sink, nursing coffee too strong and wishing for a bigger house so you didn’t have to hear your husband’s snoring in the next room. (Or, maybe you could keep the house and get a different husband. Nah, they all snore.)
You scratch your scarfed-head and tug at your worn bathrobe and you wonder, where has all your joy gone? Where have your feelings of worthiness and purpose escaped. When did you allow them to leave and will you ever get them back?
Now, these musings haven’t come out of nowhere. You’re very familiar with this line of questioning. See, for many years you’ve wondered where you lost your happiness and optimism, your sense of passion and vitality. You remember when you were the life of the party, the one who was last to leave the joint, and the first to open her home for an impromptu bash. You’ve looked for your joy everywhere and you’re convinced it’s got to be somewhere between, “Do you take…?” and “I do,” or the kids and their needs, or between the 9 – 5 (or 6 or 7…) and the 24/7 of cooking, cleaning, and feeding everybody else’ desires at home. Or maybe you left it under the Mother Board, Usher Board, or otherwise bored at church. Wherever your stuff is, you desperately need it back.
Or maybe you never really had it, or at least not a good enough grip on it for it to even be recognized as joy. Perhaps you set it down to grab hold of this existence – the one that gives you someone to sleep next to and take care of the trash and oil and tire changes. Perhaps what you set down to accept this choice never really had a chance to materialize as happiness because everybody always told you what you needed was a spouse and he would in turn make you happy and provide you with everything you needed. And so if you were not happy, which they emphasized was never guaranteed anyway, you would have enough other stuff so that you could just look over being happy and simply exist inside the brace of a marital union. So how in the hell do you uncover or seize joy and ultimate wholeness if you never fully knew it in the first place and whatever you thought you knew got misplaced anyway, you ask as you take the last sip of bad coffee.
Now don’t get it wrong – you love your family, your church work, and your job – most of the time. And, really, you wouldn’t trade a thing for them… you think. But something inside you is parched and diminishing. Something doesn’t feel right. Something is incomplete. Something is aching for life that is deeper and richer and it won't be ignored. You’ve been able to set these feelings aside for some time now, but this is the year of Jubilee and no longer can you be a slave to mere survival and someone else’s decisions.
So you go to shake your husband awake, not realizing that you’re still on auto-pilot relying on him to bring you some joy (or attention and appreciation) when it hits you that whatever it is you need to do to find completion is not in another person; it’s in you, it belongs to you, and now is the time for you to call it to the surface. But how?
By trusting yourself. Trusting that you have all the answers you need to make you life what you want it to be. Trusting that while you love your family, they are not the end all and treating them as such not only drains you, but them as well. The stuff your feeling is requiring you to honor yourself, to sit with yourself and meditate on how each emotion feels within you. To ride those emotions and give them room to fully breathe. You are required to go beyond the labels and assumptions, putting on paper what and who you want to be and burning to a crisp that which no longer serves you on this part of your life’s journey. Tell your family and your friends what you need. They may not understand and may give you more grief than anybody else ever would. But if you stop this process of growth and evolvement, you’ll perish.
Trust God that this is your opportunity to get it right, make it work for you, and find the peace you need. Let everybody be and go find the You you’re in need of.
We’re praying for you.
Sadiqqa © 2007
Feb 1, 2007
The renowned scholar and rights leader W.E.B. DuBois recalled that after a speech on the problems faced by black Americans before a group of prominent whites, a white woman approached him and asked, “Do you know where I can get a good colored cook?”
-- from “African American Humor: The Best Black Comedy from Slavery to Today”
To some it does not matter who you are or what you’ve accomplished, you’re still just a (your descriptor here). You can have set the world on fire with a speech, song, new idea, or an old idea made better. But to mama‘nem, you’re still the snotty-nosed kid from Cedar Street or that girl or boy who cut up in school and stayed in the principal’s office. Even the people in Jesus’ hometown asked, “Ain’t you Joseph’s boy?” implying that he was just Jesus from the block.
You never live stuff down and people always remember you when. Some folks can’t see you as anything else. Some, as in the case of DuBois, want to reduce you to nothing more than what they believe or what makes them comfortable.
So how do you respond to this? Well, you can get busy reminding folks who you are – “I have no idea about any chef. I’m a world-renowned writer and lecturer, a crystal among the Talented Tenth, fighting to alleviate the racist problem of the 20th century for African people.” You can tell them where to go – “I’m certain you could ask someone else in the room if they have such knowledge about your inquiry. I, on the other hand, find very little value in involving myself in such menial tasks and you can, therefore, kiss my [undoubtedly something very academic would have been stated here.]”
Or, you can get past the apparent insult and its intention, not let the air be knocked from you, and quickly, privately, and confidently remind yourself that just because others want to remain subject to old, limiting, and undignified beliefs, you don’t have to buy into their bite. Perhaps you can believe and accept that maybe you are the best source of information this person has, so you then provide them with an informed and gracious counter that leaves you both with dignity. Maybe your response gives your detractors greater clarity and respect for your current station and makes it politely clear that his or her statement was out of place.
Perhaps being the best (and, in some cases, only) source of information makes you an expert of sorts, doesn’t it? Use this status; take it to the bank and milk it – “Ma’am, the best chef I know is already occupied, but I’m certain if you buy my book and DVD series entitled the “Best Chefs around These Parts,” you’d find others who could prepare meals that would completely satisfy your palate. Thank you for asking.”
You can be stunned and stumped by people’s reactions to you, or you can choose the healthier action – move on and be the bigger (and richer) person.
Sadiqqa © 2007
-- from “African American Humor: The Best Black Comedy from Slavery to Today”
To some it does not matter who you are or what you’ve accomplished, you’re still just a (your descriptor here). You can have set the world on fire with a speech, song, new idea, or an old idea made better. But to mama‘nem, you’re still the snotty-nosed kid from Cedar Street or that girl or boy who cut up in school and stayed in the principal’s office. Even the people in Jesus’ hometown asked, “Ain’t you Joseph’s boy?” implying that he was just Jesus from the block.
You never live stuff down and people always remember you when. Some folks can’t see you as anything else. Some, as in the case of DuBois, want to reduce you to nothing more than what they believe or what makes them comfortable.
So how do you respond to this? Well, you can get busy reminding folks who you are – “I have no idea about any chef. I’m a world-renowned writer and lecturer, a crystal among the Talented Tenth, fighting to alleviate the racist problem of the 20th century for African people.” You can tell them where to go – “I’m certain you could ask someone else in the room if they have such knowledge about your inquiry. I, on the other hand, find very little value in involving myself in such menial tasks and you can, therefore, kiss my [undoubtedly something very academic would have been stated here.]”
Or, you can get past the apparent insult and its intention, not let the air be knocked from you, and quickly, privately, and confidently remind yourself that just because others want to remain subject to old, limiting, and undignified beliefs, you don’t have to buy into their bite. Perhaps you can believe and accept that maybe you are the best source of information this person has, so you then provide them with an informed and gracious counter that leaves you both with dignity. Maybe your response gives your detractors greater clarity and respect for your current station and makes it politely clear that his or her statement was out of place.
Perhaps being the best (and, in some cases, only) source of information makes you an expert of sorts, doesn’t it? Use this status; take it to the bank and milk it – “Ma’am, the best chef I know is already occupied, but I’m certain if you buy my book and DVD series entitled the “Best Chefs around These Parts,” you’d find others who could prepare meals that would completely satisfy your palate. Thank you for asking.”
You can be stunned and stumped by people’s reactions to you, or you can choose the healthier action – move on and be the bigger (and richer) person.
Sadiqqa © 2007
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