Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers.
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis

Why on earth can’t you get ahead at work? I mean, you really know your stuff. You bring lots of money into your company; you’ve worked in just about every single department; and every new person that comes into the company is sent to you because everybody knows you’re the best trainer around. You dress professionally; your style says corporate culture, team player, and upward mobility. So, what’s the problem, you wonder. Why can’t you get beyond team leader to middle management?

The receptionist buzzes and tells you there’s a call on line 2 for you. You answer, “Good moan’n, this [you]... uh, yeah sir. I done written it up an’ I’m mo brang it t’ya now. Where you at, yo’ office?” Instead of correcting your bad grammar, the caller, who happens to be middle management, waits for you to catch yourself. When you don’t and continue to split verbs and murder the King’s English, the caller is left with a less than pleasant impression of your intelligence level. Though you supersede regular business sense and acumen, your less than spectacular use of grammar gets your true abilities ignored and keeps others from taking you seriously which, ultimately, leaves you stuck in a cubicle instead of the corner office.

You tire of being sick. You’ve tried treatment after treatment and nothing seems to be working. Because of this, you’re always in a depressed mood and often find yourself stretched out on the couch eating a half-pints of Häagen-Dazs ice cream, knowing full well that the sugars and cream in them send your bloodsugar through the roof. You also know that in the past, you have a hard time getting and keeping your blood pressure and cholesterol at normal levels. But still you sit with your hand inside a 13 ounce bag of mesquite barbecue potato chips, eating them by the handful, and swigging down an artificially-flavored grape soda.

You’ve got a big test tomorrow; instead of studying and going to bed early to be well rested, you stay on the computer inside the AOL chat room until 4 a.m. talking about nonsensical stuff with some stranger named “DRPOuT4LIFE.”

Recognize any of this? Let’s hope not. But while these situations may be foreign, we’ve got other self-sabotaging behaviors that lend themselves to the same results as those above – blocking your own blessings and opportunities. Maybe your situation is that you shut your lover down when she tries to love you. Love is what you said you needed, right? Maybe you constantly put yourself down instead of loving and stroking yourself with gentleness and forgiveness, then you wonder why your daughter has a limited sense of self; or, maybe your children have little respect and regard for you because you mistreated their mother.

Maybe you situation is as simple as forgetting to pay a bill because you neglected to put the invoice in the basket with the other bills to be paid this month, or maybe you can’t make your famous Saturday morning quiche for your mother-in-law because the milk spoiled, the cheese turned green, and your eggs got too old.

Whatever your situation, take a look at how you play – your strategies, your next moves, even think through the obstacles life may send your way so you can determine how to best deter them. You can move past self-sabotage if you pay attention to the way you’re moving, doing, and thinking.

Sadiqqa © 2007