People (both black and white) feel as though black women can’t accomplish much because there is no father in the home. What American society fails to realize is that black women have led single households since slavery. Our families have been torn apart since our arrival here, but it hasn’t stopped us from producing senators, congressmen, presidential candidates, secretaries of state, doctors, lawyers, accountants, engineers, authors, internationally renowned artists, presidents of major American companies, and strong black women and men.
-- Dolly C. Turner

National statistics indicate that single-parent homes are increasingly on the rise and that by 2010, we can expect for most children to have lived in a single-parent home at least some part of their lives. These statistics also point out that many of the children living in lone-parent homes, particularly those led by females, suffer a grave injustice as they are more susceptible to poverty, school and health problems, and are more likely to not get along well with others. While these statistics and summations are generalizations, they are held as fact by most of America, even some of you reading this “Thought...,.”

But, and mind you that is one of the strongest buts you’ll read today, where love, loving discipline, structure, and unconditional regard for one another exist in a home – whether that home is led by one parent or two – there is a successful and thriving family, and family, whatever the make and number, is what sustains and protects any child.

Living in a single-parent household does not necessarily compromise how well prepared children are for school. Living in a single-parent household does not mean a child is destined for jail or a life on the streets. Living in a single-parent household does not mean a child or his or her parent is doomed to destitution, depravity, or cycles and repeat episodes of single parenthood. Sure, there may be days where there are only pennies to spend and bills piled higher than high because there’s only one income. There maybe reckless boy children who crave more attention of any kind so they act out in response, or girl children who have jagged edges that cry out to be shaped and covered by the presence and love of a father in the household. But where the loving arms of a family take over – where people are important to each other and offer each other love and support; where each member listens, observes, and asks questions; where everybody gets to share their fears, angers, resentments, joys, and concerns without fear of being ridiculed or rejected; where each person can reach out for support from extended family, friends, churches, and strong neighborhood networks; where each person knows and is regularly in touch with God and their spirituality – the greater the likelihood that a single family flourishes.

Look back at our history, even look as close as your neighbors or your own family. Single-parent families are not tragedies or examples for fatalistic statistics. They are families, families that are full of love, affection, and strong bonds that grow through and because of every glitch and hardship. Some single-parent households might even have the advantage of a grandparent in the household. How’s that for richness?

Certainly the statistics should not be denied. Some single-parent families do have more problems and are in need of more help. But, then, how does that make them any different from some two-parent families that also struggle to make the bills, put food on the table, and keep their kids from failing school?
Sadiqqa © 2007