I wasn’t as smart then as I am now. But who ever is?
-- Tina Turner

A long time ago, say, maybe 25 years ago, you wore the infamous Jheri Curl. Every 6 weeks or so you chemically loosened your tight curls with a cold wave kit, set them with another chemical on perm rollers, added yet another chemical to keep the curl in, poured on some SoftSheen Care Free Curl® activator, slept in a plastic bag every night, damaged several collars beyond repair, and avoided at all times being without an 8 ounce bottle of $6 curl activator. Today, your hair has recovered. It’s grown back after being lost to breakage, the texture is again pliable, and hardly anybody remembers the bald spots. The repair only took 15 years. Thank God you only wore that curl for 5 years!

Remember in high school how fine you thought his bow legs and strut were, how you believed it was cool the way he acted loud-mouthed with the teachers and some of the adults in the neighborhood, and how you felt special when he commented on the size of your butt and breasts thinking he actually noticed you? Remember when you and he finally went out and his boys seemed to come out of nowhere eyeing you like buzzards, licking their lips, and asking you for a “chance?” Remember how you pulled out your mace and whistle as they started to pull on your clothes? You still cringe when you see a pack of guys together, but now at least you’re able to discern what’s really cool. And, at last check, bow-legged and belligerent won’t be back on the streets until 2032.

Last week, she asked you if she looked fat in those pants. Of course you weren’t born yesterday so you tell her, “No, baby. You actually look great.” Feeling proud of yourself for coming up with such a quick and considerate response, you continue to pour praise and great compliments on her. She’s warmed by the admiration and wants to treat you to dinner at your favorite 5-star restaurant. When you prepare to leave, she’s wearing the pants she asked you about, looking all but slim and sexy. With a grimace on your face you said, “You’re wearing those?”

Perhaps a more honest response would have served you better. How’s your soup this week?

We’re all party to things we wished we hadn’t said or done, things that seem so beyond stupid now, things we wish we could do all over again. But, you can’t, and life does go on. We learn from our mistakes, and hopefully we learn to do things better, with more sense, and much more prudence.

Sadiqqa © 2007