I wanted God to speak to me

I wanted God to speak to me, but I didn't want God to confront me.

-- Renita J. Weems, “Listening for God”

Be careful what you ask for…

For some time, I’ve been trying to cultivate in my life what Solomon asked God for – a “hearing heart” (1 Kings 3:9 AMP). A hearing heart is one that discerns right from wrong and good from bad. A hearing heart hears the voice of God without difficulty or interference, and even when other things and people are blaring and relentless, a hearing heart can censor the noise and distinguish/ sense/understand the voice of Truth.

On most days – okay, at certain times of the day – my heart hears God’s voice well. I’ve driven to and from work with no radio or CD playing simply experiencing the quietude of the conversations God and I have. Bath time – and bathroom time – has taken on a new meaning because of the opportunity for private communion with God, and I have no idea what comes on television after 9pm because I’d rather be hearing/listening to what I AM has to say to me.

But, I say again, be careful what you ask for, because as peaceful and composed as Jehovah Shalom is, He sure can get loud and rowdy!

Rev. Jamal Bryant, in his “DON’T MISUNDERSTAND WHAT HE IS SAYING” Bible study, said that when God is getting ready to talk to you/work on you/clear some stuff up, things in your life begin to shift; sometimes your life and every comfort you’ve known/believed in begins to fall apart/fall away/fall open. He said when God gets ready to really speak to you on your life for your life, He will begin to deal with your conscience about your stuff. Bryant said when God’s got something to say to you that will call you to task/transform your life/reveal His plan/make known your purpose/bless you beyond your mind’s eye, you can best believe you will hear Him and hear Him clearly.

It’s easy for us when we simply talk to God about comforting us, protecting us, bringing us through the darkness, giving us the desires of our hearts, and forgiving us for our conscious and unwitting failings. And God hears us at all times, whatever we pray. And He responds, but sometimes in ways that cause us to tremble/feel convicted/require us to change our ways. What we hear from God/what God shows us in response to our calls isn’t always what we want to hear. In fact, it’s sometimes so counter to what we believed we would hear or what we believe we deserve, we pretend we didn’t hear and keep going about our little business. Until we talk to God again about our lives, asking “please, Jesus please.” And God says the same things again and again …

… until He finally doesn’t say anything.

Remember how your mama told you to do something over and over, and you kept acting like you didn’t hear her, so she got tired and fed up with your trifling butt and eventually took a belt switch to it?

God doesn’t get fed up with us – I don’t think. But He does get silent until we get obedient. And that silence can feel like a butt whipping!

1 John 3:22 (KJV) says that “whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.” When we finally get obedient and faithfully let God do in us the work that needs to be done, then that which we ask is given to us “…exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think…” (Ephesians 3:20 KJV)

God’s gotta say what God’s gotta say and we humans seeking everlasting life have to hear the truth/be called out about the serious stuff in our lives. And really, where else would we get it? Who else do we know that’s even bold enough/bad enough/righteous enough to tell us the truth of our lives? There’s not anybody but El Roi (the God who sees) who even knows that truth.

And, there’s also no one who could take your truth, love you/ shape you through it, and hand it back to you new, holy, and pleasing in His sight.

So I ask with no heed – Lord, speak to me as you will, for I desire to be a new creature in You.