On reflection, one of the things I needed to learn was to allow myself to be loved.
-- Isha McKenzie-Mavinga

Allow yourself to be loved.

Allow others to pour over you as they wish, planting compliments, praise, and accolades all around you. Give them room to pat you on the back and tell you what a great job you’ve done. Let them honor you for your good works, place your name on the marquee, and give you a standing ovation each time your name is called.

Allow someone to do something for you. Oh sure, you can do it all by yourself and for yourself, but, today, if someone wants to help you, let them. Let them cut your grass, take out your trash, and walk your dog. Let them buy you lunch or fix your plate. Let them brush the lint from your shoulder.

Allow someone to touch your heart in the way it’s cried out to be felt. Speak your deepest thoughts and feelings to someone, letting them hear what you really need, then trusting them to provide it. Allow your vulnerabilities and availability to be exposed to someone who’s willing to care for you deeply. Open yourself up to intimacy, to closeness and familiarity. Trust someone with you, putting aside the fear that he or she will leave if they see and know the real you.

Allow someone to rub your hurting head, massage your aching back, and unnumb your tired feet. Allow them to undress you, emotionally and physically. Allow yourself to be engulfed in the freedom of expression as you let them wrap their arms around you and love on you. Let yourself relish the beauty of contented submission.

Hopefully all this isn’t too hard to fathom when you think on your past experiences. Hopefully misfortune hasn’t dampened your ability to even begin to imagine letting somebody love you fully and unconditionally. Prayerfully your emotional health is intact enough that all of this doesn’t sound incredulous.

Certainly you know this “Thought...,” was written just for you. Perhaps because you won’t allow yourself to be open to love, there’s not a soul knocking at your door to stay. Perhaps because you only allow room for a little love to be received, you only get a little love. Think about it – the last time someone complimented you, you tore holes into what they said and discounted their ability to make bright assessments (“She said I was attractive! I look like an old hag. My hair’s not done; my clothes are too big/little/raggedy. She must be crazy.”) And when your co-worker invited you for drinks, you immediately said you had lots of work to do or remembered you had to wash your hair then go see your mother. You won’t even give anybody a chance to love you. Imagine the wear and tear you’re giving to your psyche when you deny it the pleasures of love and consideration.

Imagine what it would feel like if there came a time when you could release yourself to being loved and loved on. Think on that for a moment.

Give yourself a chance. Allow yourself to be loved. If you’re having trouble allowing love in your life, talk with someone who can help you understand why you’re blocking those opportunities and let them help you to heal your maladies. Give yourself a chance. You deserve to be loved.

Sadiqqa © 2007