We already know who and what we are not. We talk about it every chance we get... We point it out to ourselves to make sure we don’t forget it... Just for today, offer yourself the love and acceptance you need to move yourself beyond who you have not been and what you did not do.
-- Iyanla Vanzant, “Until Today”

Yeah, so you’re not this and you don’t know that, and you’ve never been there. Well, if you’re not this and don’t know that, and you haven’t been there, who, then are you and what do you know? Where have you been?On the back of that long and unending list you regularly whip out of who you’re not, what you don’t know, what you can’t stand, where you’ll never be, and what you won’t acquiesce to is a page of who you are, what you know, what you can stand, where you will go, and what you will give in to. Heck, it may even be 2 or 3 pages if you really give yourself credit.It’s far too easy and effortless to think of your lack and give it more voice than that which is plenteous and rich about you. Why is that? Why is it easier to put yourself down, punch holes in your abilities, shirk your potential, deflect a compliment, or turn away from an admiring glance than it is to love yourself, hold yourself in high esteem, say “thank you” to honest praise, and look back when they look at you?

Could it be that maybe somewhere along the way, somebody told you that you really weren’t all you believed yourself to be, and they said it so much, you believed them? Perhaps somewhere along the way you compared yourself to somebody you believed had more, did more, knew more, so they must have been more. Possibly somebody told you that you didn’t have the right to believe yourself capable, to take pride in how you look and feel, and that to do so was arrogant, snobbish, stuck-up, and, therefore, sinful. Somebody took your self-regard and you can’t figure out how to get it back or recreate it for this point on.

Or maybe nobody was there to help you feel affirmed and acceptable. Perhaps, at some point in your life, you were left to fend for, define, cheer, and trust only yourself, but you didn’t have or develop the right tools or means to properly shape and mold your sense of self and confidence. Maybe nobody ever came around to love you well so that you’d have ample examples of how to do that for yourself.

And now, the way you respond to any of it is to focus on what’s wrong, what hurts, and every deficit you can come up with. Then you fade to the background and carry on about your insufficiency and shortages.

From this point on, give yourself some credit. As a matter of fact, give yourself lots of credit, all the credit you deserve because you are and you know, you can and you do. Practice talking about your assets and give it the all the power you’ve given to scarcity and imperfection.

Sadiqqa © 2007