Most of the luxuries,

Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but … hindrances to the elevation of mankind.
-- Henry David Thoreau

I was hanging out with new friends a couple of months ago when one of them asked to carpool with me to the place we were headed because her husband would be using the car.

Husband using the car?

THE. Car.

They. Have. One. Car.

One.

Wow…….

After I got over the amazement – amazed because, one, I don't know any 2 parent families, chocked full of responsibilities/obligations/activities, who don't have at least 2 cars and, two, because my sometimes linear mind keeps me charmed and spellbound on indulgences/excess – I considered the repercussions and possibilities of a family owning only one car.

To any situation, there are 2 sides, and with this one car deal, I immediately tuned into the downside of the situation. For starters, having one car means you have to wait for somebody to pick you up; you can't just jump in your car and go when you're ready, when you want to, or where you want to. One car means you have to sync your schedule with all the other folks in your household so that everything gets done and all needs are met. It means that sometimes you might have to sit at the house and wait for somebody to bring the car back so you can use it. And what if they bring it back with the gas hand pointed at empty?

Having only one car means that it becomes sort of a nondescript taxi cab. The car has to accommodate everybody and their stuff which could mean the car becomes weighed down and messy, possibly looking like the inside of a storage facility. And if you have to have a vehicle that can haul everything and everybody, it probably has to be a van and they aren't necessarily hip. Well, some are, but, how can you really style around town in a 5-door passenger van with a 3^rd rear seat full of the family's extracurricular gear in tow? Not real cool.

One car in the family means the car is not really YOUR car so you can't outfit it to specifically reflect your tastes or who you are. No good-luck fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror, at least not without the other requisite hanging items – work badges, lanyard library cards, the kids' graduation tassels, and pine tree deodorizers to neutralize the mixture of everybody's smells. Having one car means you probably shouldn't trick it out with fancy dash and body kits, polished chrome grilles, flaming red and black safari stripes, a lift-kit, or big foot wheels and rims. That's NOT a good look for a car-seated mini-van or the car that takes you and honey to the office every day.

But, then, when I thought of the possibilities, the opportunities, the upside of a family owning one car, oh my, how the pros far outweighed any of the cons above!

Well, first, let me be honest. I had to make myself think about the pros and possibilities. I almost had to drink a whole pot of coffee to get my thoughts flowing about the good things that one car for the family means!

Foremost, one car means SAVING money. One car gets filled up at the gas pump. Insurance is paid on one car. Maintenance costs are only expended on one car. Most importantly, there's only one car note. Of course, if the family drives a well-maintained fuel efficient vehicle, and each driver observes the speed limit and drives without road rage, a family can save a huge amount of money better spent elsewhere.

Driving one car leaves a smaller footprint on the planet. According to Tom and Ray, the guys of Car Talk, each year one car typically emits about six tons of carbon dioxide, gases responsible for changing the earth's climate. Too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere acts as a blanket over the earth which causes the temperature to rise, which ultimately causes crops to fail and catastrophic illnesses and weather. Although even driving the family's one car contributes to global warming, my friend's family is less responsible for the planet's destruction than are family's with 2 or more cars.

But the thought that touched me more than any of the other pros and that made the cons a big "so what!," was the opportunity to have/develop/preserve family time.

In an age where the demands on our time are monumental, and the actual time we get to spend with our families decreases by the minute, owning one family car offers up some of the lost opportunities to connect. Though not face-to-face –'cause you better be watching the road – you have and are a captive audience to hear/share thoughts and have conversations that are meaningful, motivating, and enjoyable; you can even have conversations that are difficult because you don't have to look one another in the face. Riding together in the one car gives everybody inside a chance to keep up, catch up, and get genially caught up in the lives of the others.

Now, if you're like me where you're constantly having conversations in your head – whether others are present or not, having one car means you gotta get out of your head so that you can be tuned into and available to the other folks in the car. Having one car means you must intentionally stay present and admit only the moments before you. It means slowing down – which we could all stand to do; deliberately listening to what the other people in the car have to say – or what they're not saying; appreciating the occasion to be with the others at that very moment and time; and when your focus slips away from the moment, bringing it back not with just an "uhn-huh," but with a genuine, "I'm sorry, I went in my head and missed a moment of you. Please repeat what you just said." For us introverts, that's tough and it takes much concerted practice. But not being and living in the moment, especially if it's in the car with the people you share your life with, means you lost a conscious moment, an experience, even an adventure, in your life. And, you know, you only get one of those. Certainly you don't want to skim the surface and miss any part of it!

And lastly, driving one family car may mean that sometimes you're the passenger, which means you get to checkout the scenery of the city or wherever you're driving. It means you not only get to see the cross and flowers on the side of the road, but you also get to read the name on the cross for which they were placed. Being a passenger in the family's one car may mean you notice the small green roundness of the olives on the big old Olive tree in the inner courtyard of the toughest neighborhood in the city, and it may mean you may get to wave back at the smiling old lady seated on her porch who waves warmly at each passing vehicle that travels down her rundown and deserted street. And, after you've seen these things once, because you've seen these things, your awareness of them and their meaning has in some way changed your life and, not only will you never mindlessly pass that way again, perhaps your awareness has taken on a clarity and intensity that now defines all you do and could only have been gained by riding shotgun in the family's one car.

And you get to talk about that with the driver and the other people in the car!

So, so what if you have to ride with your daughter's leotard, tu-tu, and ballet shoes or your son's cleats, mouthguard and cup. So what if you can't make the car your very own. So what if you have to wait for somebody to pick you up or catch a ride with a friend. Maybe your friend will be inspired by your family's commitment to owning only one vehicle, too.