There are moments when even the strongest woman can appreciate the reinforcement of a man who is comfortable with who he is and who can be her anchor in the storms of life. He will be the warm hand touching the small of her back, giving her the stability to go forward. He will give her the feeling of uncompromising love as she faces the various ages and stages of life. He gives her body release, her mind a melody, and her spirit a gust of wind that makes her able to soar. When the lady has a lover, her eyes sparkle, her smile is bright, and her voice is calm and passionate. With her lover at her side, her heart is peaceful, for she feels secure and can close her eyes and rest her head on his shoulder.
-- T. D. Jakes, The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord

Even the most emotionally resilient woman can be moved by a compassionate, responsive, tender, sensual, and adoring man. Even the most exceptional lady, one who is capable of moving mountains with the stroke of her pinkie finger and scaling imposing, formidable buildings in a single bound, can have her breath taken away by a man who knows and tells who he is, Who’s he is, what he has to offer, and actually offers it. Even a bona fide warriorette, adorned in magic girdles, spears and shields, an army of Sister Amazons, and a fantastic sense of Self, can be gentle, float lightly above ground, laugh at her clumsiness, and calmly lose 2 or 3 of her marbles when a man gives her everything and more of what she’s ever imagined she needed.

That is, if she actually lets him.

Sometimes our sense of strength simply won’t allow a man to give what he has or even love us at all. Sometimes this strength – you know, the strength often born of practicality and survival, or that chaotically created from indifference and cynicism, or even strength deliberately erected from the fear of abandonment, failure, and demise – that strength gets in the way of us getting the love we desire and deserve. Even if the man before us is the one we’ve waited our entire life for, “strength” can cause us to miss him because we rear back on our hinds and ballyhoo the glories of that superimposed strength.

Now, certainly strength is a necessary tool for navigating the life we’ve been given. One must have strength of mind, heart, and body in order to stay on the path and negotiate with those who cross our paths. Even strength created for self-preservation is essential when faced with the world as we know it. But when your “strength” causes you to swat the white butterflies that’ve come in search of your sweet innate nectar and thump away the ladybugs who keep away the busy and nasty pests who can tear down your sanctuary, perhaps that sense of strength is futile and needs an overhaul.

So how does one overhaul or abandon years and layers of “strength?” How does an Amazon woman shed her shields and trust a chivalrous warrior king to take her spicy hands and place in them the good stuff he wants to leave there? Is it even possible given all she’s seen and knows?

It’s possible if she realizes the man before her has no desire to depose or, in any way, extinguish her true strength – character that makes her courageous, passionate, and determined; a spiritedness that keeps her dynamic, a bit eccentric, and in love with life’s possibilities; and simplicity that keeps her fresh, open, and receptive – all visible as the layers come off. It’s possible when she realizes he wants nothing more than to make her happy just because she’s beautiful happy. It’s possible to let go of the vain forts of strength when she realizes that in order for him to be who she needs, she must let him be who he is, a man who wants to love her and will go to the threshing floor with her to shed what is no longer necessary so that her thriving of yesterday can become living from now on.

That is, if she actually lets herself.

Sadiqqa © 2008