No, Patrick, you’re not unattractive. Your breath just stinks.
‑‑ Spongebob Squarepants

Everywhere you look, people around you are paired up and partnered off. They’re married, dating, or otherwise casually acquainting themselves with one another. You, on the other hand, are single with no prospects, and, dare it be said, lonely for acceptable, intelligent conversation and companionship. You’ve taken a long look at yourself and measured your surroundings. You’ve found everything in good, no, fine order, but you cannot for the life of you figure out why on earth you aren’t married, dating, or otherwise casually acquainted.

Maybe your breath stinks.

Maybe it doesn’t.

Maybe your expectations are too high. Perhaps you desire someone who is as fine as Morris Chestnutt or Angela Bassett; who’s got the riches and financial savvy of Oprah Winfrey or Ted Turner; and who is as svelte as Terrell Owens or Serena Williams. Maybe your aim isn’t as high as that but you do require a good-looking, independent, and healthy suitor. Perhaps you’d like for that person to make you laugh; help you feel at ease; support your dreams and ambitions; love Jesus, your family, and your dog; have a sexual appetite and sensualness that matches yours; and can cook and clean up after him or herself without having to be reminded to do so. Certainly that’s not too much to want. Is it?

Maybe you’re not looking in the right places. Sister, maybe church is not the place. It’s too full of women – that is, if you’re seeking a man. Brother, maybe there’re too many women at church for you to choose from; it seems all of them are hungry. Uh, that is, if you’re looking for a woman. Maybe looking back into your repertoire of past mates seemed like a good idea at one time, but when you did, you remembered why you left them in the past. The club? Who can talk and get to know someone over the latest Young Jeezy, Soulja Boy, or T-Pain cut? The gym? Maybe. You’ll at least be more fit. The coffee shop? Perhaps, just don’t overdose on caffeine. The car wash? You may meet the likes of Franklyn Ajaye or Marlene the Hooker – the chick you thought was Rose Royce.

Maybe you’re too perfect – or at least you give off the appearance of perfection. For the most part, you’ve got it together. You may have a few loose screws, but at least you know they’re loose AND you have the tools to tighten them if you really wanted to. You don’t necessarily require perfection in your mate, only that he or she bring to the table the same thing you do. Among other things, you’re fully capable of caring for yourself – your person, your family, and your home; making your own ends meet; achieving great satisfaction with your career; and finding peace in the most contrary of places. If that makes perfection, so be it. And if being damn near perfect is the problem, damn the problem. You can’t be any less than your best.

Maybe there is no answer. It just is what it is. And certainly that’s unsettling. But you can rest assured that perhaps it’s not you. Jesus just has a bigger plan for you. So, in the meantime, enjoy your Self, enjoy life, stock up on some breath mints, and never give up on what you’re looking for.

Sadiqqa © 2008