The bumblebee’s wings are so thin and its body so big, it should not be able to fly. The only problem is the bee doesn’t know that.
-- David Lindsey

What is it that you didn’t know you couldn’t do until somebody told you that you couldn’t? Did somebody tell you that you couldn’t sing so you even stopped singing around the house? Did they say you couldn’t dance so you don’t even “Electric Slide,” “Macarena,” “Cha Cha Slide,” or “Cupid Shuffle” when the songs are played? You won’t even do the “YMCA” or “Lean Wit’ It, Rock Wit’ It.” Even the Teletubbies can do that dance, or something like it at least (go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziVhm4SKpIw).

Did somebody say your idea or invention wouldn’t work so you chucked it and all the hard work you’d put into it only to turn on the television last night to see the same smart invention – advertised by its slick-haired, deeply-tanned, laid-back creator, who’s, by the way, sitting on his house boat off the warm and sandy shores of Florida – on sale for 5 easy installments of 79.95 each plus shipping and handling? Looks like it did work.

Did somebody tell you that because you’re a female, you couldn’t work in a male-dominated field like fire fighting, repair and construction work, or auto mechanics, even though you were interested in and/or good at those jobs, and now, doing the job you do, you earn an average 20% less than a man who does the same job as you? Did they say you had to be a teacher or nurse because those jobs were stable and secure and something you could always fall back on if you didn’t make it in sales, accounting, engineering, or Hollywood? You don’t even like kids and you definitely can’t stomach blood or bed pans.

Did they say because you’re male, you can’t cry or show any emotions – other than anger – because only girls do that and you’ll look like a sissy or biatch? So instead you keep your feelings inside or express them in a way that’s hurtful and unhealthy? And did the same people tell you that you must be the one in the household who works outside the home each day instead of encouraging your choice to stay at home to care for the kids and household business and so now you barely know your kids and have no idea where all the money you make goes?

Bet somebody told you that if you didn’t meet your mate in college, you would never be married. Maybe that’s why you kept taking college classes, you hoped to find somebody. Do those same people bug you now about your marital status (“you’re going to be an old maid”), tell you they hear your baby clock ticking (“if you wait too long to have a baby, it’ll have chromosome problems”), and introduce you to any Tom, Dick, LaQuida or Harriet just because your single status makes them believe you’ll be alone? Does your fear of it all make you put yourself out there to receive whatever comes your way?

If they hadn’t said you couldn’t do it or be it, and you didn’t buy in to what they said, would you be happier? Further along in your career? Have a different career? Would you be in a different place, at a different point on your life path?

There’ll always be people who will tell you why you can’t do something, why something isn’t a good idea, that something is too dangerous or cost too much, and, if you give these naysayers any energy at all, you’re doomed to defer or deny our dreams and ambitions.

An alternative answer - keep your dreams and ideas to yourself until you know how they will work and what you have to do to make them work, or, at least until you come across others who support and encourage you in your efforts. Surround yourself with enough optimistic, perceptive, and objective thinkers who can buttress the many spoilsports waiting to bring you down to the bottom of the barrel; the problem with getting to the top is getting past the people at the bottom. Never let anyone tell you that you can’t go where your dreams take you.

If you’ve done that at any time in your life, about any thing, go get your dream back.

Sadiqqa © 2007