... when we humans feel emotional pain because of events, we often create unconscious beliefs that help us cope. But coping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. While it’s true that it’s better than giving up, there’s a high price to pay for adaptability.
-- Brenda Lane Richardson and Dr. Brenda Wade, “What Mama Couldn't Tell Us About Love: Healing the Emotional Legacy of Slavery, Celebrating Our Light”

Needless to say, we all have stressors in our lives, and on any given day, some of those events and pressures are unmanageable and far too heavy for us to navigate or see beyond. And because they are bigger or get bigger than we can gracefully and effectively handle, we develop masks and costumes to drape and protect ourselves from the situations, living on the surface of what ails and disturbs us, trying never to dig up the roots of our pain. Many times we find that it’s far easier to just cope with the circumstances of stress than it is to go to the source of that stress, address it, then alleviate it.

Which is why most of us are in the physical and psychological shapes and positions we’re in now.

Think on it. The pain you’ve experienced throughout your life, whether that pain be direct or that which flows through your genetic bloodstream, partly defines and creates what you think, feel, and do. Thus, if you believe the sky is falling, because one time it did, all of your actions, conscious or unconscious, will precipitate strategies useful for protecting yourself against the burn of the sun and the dark side of the moon. Likewise, if you believe the world is out to get you, because you’ve been gotten before, then every behavior, conscious or unconscious, will be directed at protecting yourself and possibly destroying others.

Thank you very much, Sadiqqa, for that basic psychological breakdown of animal nature, but the bigger point, however, is the examination of the outcomes produced as we hold true to some of the beliefs we’ve accepted as a result of our pain and stress. There is a high price to pay for adaptability or the settling in to a way of thinking and acting that doesn’t uplift and empower, but instead keeps us weak and powerless.

Adapting to, or tolerating, unfairness and inequality because you believe all you can get is this very little you’ve been receiving breeds resentment. For instance, if you feel devalued on your job, once you resent being undervalued, you may decide to slow down your output which ultimately puts you in jeopardy of losing your job. And when they hand you the pink slip, you then feel angry and become belligerent and need an escort off the property. Had you disputed and refused the inequity in the beginning, believing you deserved to paid and treated fairly, you would not be sitting on your couch surfing through the want ads today. And now, your resentment is even deeper than it was before.

Adapting begets narrow-mindedness; you can only see what you see and what you see is very limited. Because you have acquiesced to capitalist, individualistic ways of thinking, you believe anything less or else is foreign and needs to speak and sound the way you do. As well, when you believe and accept, unconsciously or not, that you’re a second-class citizen, you act in marginalized ways and help to create perceptions that keep you forever oppressed. Thus, if you believe you don’t belong, you actions will show such and others will likely endorse your belief.

So unless you change for the better what you believe about your experience and pain, then question fully what you are willing to cope and live with, anger, resentment, distress, and any other debilitating thing will seep from your crippled Self and guide every single move you make. If you never want to get ahead, if you never want to reach your fullest potential, if you never want to overcome, stay stuck where you are.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Have a mouth as sharp as a dagger but a heart as soft as tofu.
-- Chinese proverb

And speaking of tofu, try something new today. Tofu is good for your heart; it’s high in protein and absorbs the taste of anything you add to it. You may want to try tofu in a vegetable stir fry or add some brown sugar, a little chili powder and red pepper flakes to your favorite homemade barbecue sauce, cut up a block of tofu, let it marinate in your sauce for a couple of hours, then toss it on the grill for about 5 minutes. Serve it up with a little eggplant, asparagus, and corn-on-the-cobb.

And try your barbecued tofu with some carambola, okay, starfruit. Some varieties taste like grapes, others like green apples. But wait, you may not want to eat too many starfruit if you’re diabetic; they’re high in sugar and acid. Instead, and if you can get past the funny-looking seeds, perhaps you may want to try a pomegranate. Or, with your tofu and eggplant, you could try a little grenadine – sweetened pomegranate juice – in your cocktail tonight. Perhaps you’d enjoy a little Sex on the Beach. The drink of vodka, triple sec, orange juice, lemon lime soda, schnapps, Jack D., and grenadine, that is.

Or, perhaps a bit of sex on the beach wouldn’t be something too darned awful to try. But, if you can’t get to the beach tonight, try sex in a new position. Touch your honey in a new and more pleasing way. Do something with your honey you’ve been too shy or afraid to try.

If that’s too steamy for you, keep it simple – kiss goodnight, get up earlier, go to work, and try a new route home from work this afternoon. Drive through parts of town you aren’t that familiar with and take in the differences from one part of town to the next. Stop at the local Thai restaurant and pick up some Satay Tofu. When you get home, instead of immediately jumping into your evening household duties, take 30 minutes to debrief about the day and get it out of your system. Try relaxing tonight; feed your honey a little tofu. Maybe you’ll feel like sleeping in the pajamas you’ve been reserving for a special occasion. Perhaps those pajamas may create visions and motions of sex on the beach.

Tomorrow, try wearing your hair a different way. Try saying something nice to that fool that chafes your butt all day long. Try loving your enemies. Get some more love from your honey. It’s all good for your heart. Just like tofu.

Sadiqqa © 2007

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-- Anais Nin

In 2007 – 53 years after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that separate public schools for black and white students denied black children equal educational opportunities; 52 years after Emmett Till was kidnapped, beaten, shot, and drowned in Mississippi’s Tallahatchie River after having whistled at a white woman; 50 years since the Little Rock Nine enrolled in Little Rock Central High School amid threats and surrounded by federal guard; 43 years after legislation that outlawed segregation in schools and public places; 39 years after a leader was killed on a balcony for unabashedly speaking the truth instead of scratching his head – one small Southern town in central Louisiana is still “lynching black folk.

And we’re not keeping quiet about it!

Tavis Smiley, Tom Joyner, Al Sharpton, National Public Radio, and hordes of other vocal leaders and the media are headed to Jena, Louisiana on September 20 to let the natives there know that hell no, we won’t take no mo’!

Thus was the conversation on Monday’s Michael Baisdon Show when one caller made a huge point. She said that while we were right to be offended and pack the busses that will descend on Jena in a week, what about the issues happening in our individual back yards? What about aggressive gentrification in predominately African American communities funded by everybody but black folk? What about the mislabeling and herding of African American boys into special education and alternative, non-college track programs? What about losing your home because a lender believed you to be a high-risk borrower because you are black and convinced you to agree to unfair and abusive loan terms? The response Baisden gave was that we had to start somewhere and an issue as blatantly racial as “Jena Six” could not be ignored.

He’s right, something of that nature can’t be ignored and we do have to start with some cause. But, that’s the problem. We keep starting then stopping. We get mad about something that happens to us, rile the cavalcade, speak out, protest, and have prayer vigils with lighted candles. When the dust settles, the only ones left are those who had a prize pony in the show in the first place.

We start, we stop. And when a new offense rises, something that really ruffles our feathers and disrespects who we are, we start again. Then, we stop again.

Ooh look, isn’t that Warner Music Group still signing misogynist rappers to their label? Another “bitch” and “ho” ride the turntable and play the club.

We start, we stop, and each time we stop, we take some of the air out of our fight. We take even more air out of our credibility as a people who care and want justice when we pursue an issue just because it’s the most obvious and the loudest.

Certainly “Jena Six” is an issue we must all get behind, and certainly there are a plethora of other maddening problems and situations we must seize to improve as well. The issue though is we can’t start out strong to alleviate a thing, then when the wind changes, or our most vocal say so, we’re off to something else. We’ll never find solutions, closure, or peace if we keep stopping.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Before falling in love, I was defined. Now I am undefined, weeds are growing between my ribs.
-- Joyce Carol Oates

When you were single, you thought knew everything you needed to know about yourself. You knew what made you happy. You could specifically identify why you were feeling a certain way, and you clearly understood the direction in which your life was headed. You could control most things in your life and knew exactly how things would respond to you in return.

Then you went and got partnered up...

Let it first be said that there is beauty, solace, and sacrosanctness in being part of a couple. Being loved, feeling love, and loving in return are the foundations upon which nations are built and the phenomena that keep many homes intact. Loving someone as completely as you can is the stuff of God by which the angels constantly kiss your forehead. Being in love is such a wonderful thing it makes your head think of nothing else and your heart skip a beat. Which is probably the reason weeds are growing between your ribs – you can’t think to breathe!

When you allowed your partner into your life, into your space, into the intimacy of your heart, the things you thought you knew about yourself became a little fuzzy. You thought you were an eloquent speaker on most topics. Now you find you’re a bumbling idiot who can’t seem to get your thoughts straight, or what you do say sounds like the dumbest @#*% you’d ever said in your life. You once believed your moods were the most even in the world, but now, even the slightest disagreement can turn you into Medusa. Before loving as you do, you thought you had life all together. Now you don’t even know whose life you’re living, or, on some days, whether you’re living at all. Sometimes you even think that being single was much less trouble. At least you could sleep in the middle of the bed and walk around on Sunday afternoons in the unsexiest pajamas you owned. Well, you could still do that now, but you’d have to hear your honey’s mouth or see the repugnance on their face. And that’s new, too; before love, you didn’t care what anybody thought. Now...

All kinds of new things about you have come to the surface since you began loving your honey; things you had no clue about, things that make you feel you’ve lost yourself.

But, in fact, you’ve been found! Whether you know it or not, or believe it or not, your partner is helping you to grow into your true Self, the Self you were always meant to be, the one you could not be without having experienced the love you’re in now. So what if you can’t always find the words you need to complete a sentence? Isn’t that what honeys are for – to understand us enough to complete our sentences? You may arbitrarily turn into Medusa, but if you’ll recall your Greek mythology, Medusa, whose name is synonymous with “defender,” was considered beautiful and relished her ability to protect herself; perhaps your preservation instinct is reserved for your honey as well. And really, isn’t it better to pull life together with someone who loves you no matter the weather, tenor, ugly pajamas, or intensity of life?

You’re not lost; you’re stretching, expanding, opening up, and becoming. Don’t be afraid, don’t shy away. Enjoy getting to know more of yourself and enjoy being in love.

Sadiqqa © 2007

... I end the essay here, not telling you the particulars, as a demonstration of what, because of battering rather than constructive criticism, is sometimes lost.
-- Alice Walker, from “Getting as Black as My Daddy” in Anything We Love Can Be Saved

Huh?

Yeah, this is an odd thought. Especially since it doesn’t seem to connect itself.

Well, that’s the whole point. Alice Walker wrote this ending to an essay after reflecting on the many attacks she’d received over the years from writing about what’s real in the world and what’s real to and for her. She stopped writing right inside the essay’s argument against the dullness of writing about one’s personal life and interests, leaving readers with space to only imagine what this Pulitzer Prize winning writer could have composed and concluded. She squashed what she’d started to write and, as a result, an incomplete essay was born.

Now even for writers like Alice Walker whose many novels, short stories, poetry, and works of non-fiction have won numerous awards and accolades, criticism is off-putting, even damning as public libraries and schools ban their works because they are deemed too whatever. But for the most part, such condemnation doesn’t make them quit doing what they do best. But, for the rest of us mere mortals, disapproval and disparagement from others are often what stop our dreams from coming to fruition.

Take, for instance, equal pay for women. Still, in 2007, women, who, in many cases, provide half if not all of their families’ support, receive 77 cents to every dollar men receive. However, when lawmakers have opportunities to put teeth in 40-year old policies that can rectify this injustice, arguments about how often and easily women leave the workforce to have and care for families or that women aren’t as ambitious as men surface and override any attempts at economic reconciliation for women. So then what happens? Activist for such change are silenced and sent back to their dens, the issue returns to the back-burner, and women and families still struggle to make ends meet. Women and their families have essentially been told “no,” “shut up, and sit down” and they end up settling for the 77 cents and sacrifices too numerous to count.

Okay, maybe that was an opportunity to advance a platform, but hopefully you see the point – when criticized, no matter what the issue, we shut down and sit down.

Okay, think of something as simple – compared to the issue above – as starting your own business. Cynics and detractors will tell you day in and out that what you’re planning is impossible, that it’s already been done, or that you will surely fall on your face and end up alone with no one to love you in the middle of the night because you drove everybody away with your talk about this business. If you’re like most of us, you’ll stop your talk of business, or maybe slow it down until sometimes later. You’ll put your business plan on the shelf for later, but, because of the barrage of criticism and doubt, quite possibly that widget and gadget you imagined will never be created, tested, or sold. Thus, your widget will never save someone’s life or, at the very least, make life better.

The assaults to what we believe in, what we do, and what we fight to sustain can cause us to become mellow or less driven, and our journey practically purposeless. In the end, if we aren’t thoughtful about the harsh criticisms thrown our way, allowing them to steal our ambition, outlet, platform, and ability to move forward, we could leave empty space where something should have been said or done in order to further humankind.

Still yourself against the attacks that come at you. Don’t curb or silence your voice. Don’t change your words and don’t bow out. Be bold, hold your own, keep going, and never end your thought before you’ve said everything you need to say.

Sadiqqa © 2007

There are those who believe Black people possess the secret of joy and that it is this that will sustain them through any spiritual or moral or physical devastation.
-- Alice Walker

It is literally quite possible that Black people do possess the secret of joy. How else could we have crossed the 3,000 plus miles of the Atlantic Ocean from the West Coast to the Americas; 400 to 700 deep; shackled in cramped, unsanitary quarters in the bowels of a ship; eating one meal a day of beans and yams if such scant foods were available; diseased, frightened and depressed; not knowing of destination or fate; yet surviving in spite of it all? Somewhere deep within us, we held a secret of unmitigated and inexorable contentment that got us through the hardship of the journey we traveled.

It’s likely that we possess the secret of joy. How else could the 10 million of us who survived the trip from West and Central Africa have been dropped off in Hispaniola (present day Haiti and the Dominican Republic); Jamaica; Guatemala; El Salvador; Trinidad; Cuba; Jamestown, Virginia; and Columbia, South Carolina – all unwelcoming lands whose inhabitants’ sole intention was to create economic gain for themselves on the backs of our minds and spirits? Without the secret of innate joy imploding within us, how could we have lived through people selling our babies away from us as punishment; stealing sex from our girls and women because they could; emasculating our virile men to break their warrior energy; and splitting up the remnants of families just to show who was boss? The secret of paradise to come had to be what sustained spirits lost in the crush of chattel life.

We must possess the secret of joy. What other way could we have moved from the murky South, settled into an indifferent North, and moved fearlessly in the uncultivated West? What other way could we have stayed in the South, only to receive the lashes of Jim Crow, the nooses, the water hoses, the Ku Klux Klan, and Southern government? What other way could we have created a great migration northward to work in industrialized cities like Detroit and Chicago, leaving behind the only lives and family we knew? What other thing but a deep-seated secret of joy could have made us toil through Native American and Spanish territory that was as dry, dusty, and desolate as the moon was far?

We do possess the secret of joy.

This secret of joy probably has nothing to do with “the” secret touted by Oprah and Larry King, the one that basically says what you ask for and believe in you receive. Certainly Black folks didn’t ask for any of the above injustices, experiences, or off-chances, so this can’t be the secret referred to here unless, in fact, deep within the crevices of our Selves, we somehow looked beyond our circumstances, asked for freedom and redemption, believed it would be given to us, and ultimately received it in some form or fashion. Perhaps Alice Walker’s Possessing the Secret of Joy had access to The Secret’s Emerald Tablet before the book and movie even came into existence. Humph, who knows? Who really cares?

Perhaps the secret we’ve possessed is one that has no definition, no name, no real form or content. Perhaps it just is and it just makes us do and be and live.

Certainly that same secret exists within each of us today. It’s got to in order for us to keep pushing through some of the things we endure daily. Thankfully it’s not the same stuff our ancestors encountered. Or is it?

Your secret of joy is at work right now, operating somewhere with the confines of your spirit. If you look and listen closely, presumably you can feel it churning. If you can’t, it’s in your best interest to keep pushing until you do so that one day we can remember and tell the stories of survival to babies who will need to know such a secret exists and that they do indeed possess it.

Sadiqqa © 2007

For most of my life, I had felt my spirituality was confined to a certain set of church ideas and rules. When I realized I could find spiritual expression in beating a drum, painting a picture, cooking a meal, playing a game, or singing a song, I finally understood the divine presence in all things.
-- Shelia Ellison, “The Courage to be a Single Mother”

Yes, there is Divine Presence in all things, like in the sun setting, in the clouds rolling, and in the raindrops falling. Divine Presence is in the trees billowing in the wind and the grass turning green each Spring. Divine Presence is in the coo and smile of a baby, the “puppy breath” of a week-old puppy, and the tender wrinkles on the hand of a gentle old man. God manifests Himself in all these things. The Divine Presence is everywhere.

Divine Presence was near last week when you cussed out that co-worker who is always in your business. Divine Presence was at the football game Saturday night when the other team won and you shot your middle finger at the coach then looked up to see yourself and your action on the stadium’s big screen monitor. Divine Presence even sat next to you Sunday morning when you stared that lady up and down as she walked in church an hour late in that little red dress and all that hair and makeup looking, you thought, like she’d just come from the club. Divine Presence saw you turn up your nose and felt you judge her.

Divine Presence is not only everywhere, it’s always available for access. You can tap into the power and presence of God at any time, even when the kids are working your last good nerve. You can tap God even when your honey-love is being stupid and selfish. You can tap it even when the boss is bigoted, sexist, and racist and has no clue that she is. You can tap into the Presence even when the world is fighting and you seem to be the ground that’s getting trampled. You can enter, open, retrieve, and approach the Divine Presence at any time you feel the need.

And Divine Presence is everywhere and available to everybody who believes it so. So not only are you getting the breath and touch of God, so is the lady in the red dress. Divine Presence is there with her, too. She’s also God’s baby, y’know.

A preacher friend said Sunday, Jesus is always in the room, no matter where you’re sitting or standing, no matter what you’re doing. You’re never alone and you never have to face anything on your own. Just as you can find peace and presence in the blowing of the trees, so can you when times aren’t as peaceful. Just remember to tap in to the presence and energy of God. He’s right there. Feel Him?

Sadiqqa © 2007

We met… and from then on, it became impossible ever again to give up completely. I have given some thought to why this should be. I believe it was love. When once you have encountered it, you will never sink again. Then you will always yearn for the light and the surface.
-- Peter Hoeg

On any given day, on each movie channel, in each song on the radio, out of the mouths of the storytellers at your local coffee house poets’ showcase, on the tips of your friends’ tongues, and always on your mind is the longing for and/or maintenance of true, lasting, and fulfilling love. And what people won’t do to get it and keep it is fascinating, and in some cases, frightening. But, it almost can’t be helped – once you’ve tasted what love can be, you want nothing less; no substitutes, no pieces here or there, you want the whole kit and caboodle. Is it any wonder why there’s so much talk and thought about love?

Think of the Shulamite and the shepherd in the Song of Solomon. Talk about desire and yearning! Of course most biblical scholars interpret such longing as that between God and His people or the physical yearnings of husband and wife. Whatever the interpretation, you can’t ignore the intensity for love with which the characters in the story implore from one another and how this longing is so primal and innate that to disregard or discount it is a tragedy to the very spirit of love and a slight to ones Self and survival. We were made for tender, passionate, meaningful love, the give and take of it, and the profound and exhausting experience it gives rise to. Having this kind of love gives us strength and character and helps us make it through most days.

So what is this guttural feeling of love, this love that can’t be denied, the love that’s true, lasting, and fulfilling? Can you put a finger on it? Do you know what it looks like?

I’m convinced that it exists even if you don’t feel it right now or if you’ve never felt it. Somewhere deep within the caverns of your Self is a longing waiting to be touched. A longing that knows what it needs and will identify it, ring your bell, and set you on fire when the love it wants even breathes your way. The longing within you will move you to grab hold of the love it’s found, wrap yourself around it, pour everything you have into and on it, and have your nose open so wide that nothing else will do. Should that fulfilling feeling of love ever leave, you miss it like nothing else, possibly search again for it, and know how to deny something else when it comes suited up to look like love.

If you live inside that yearned for love right now, care for it and protect it it. Some say love is fleeting, but believe that true love never dies. Cover it and make sure your longed for love is always at home getting fed something wholesome and being nurtured as often as it calls for. Should it only be temporary, never let it say you didn’t treat it well and right during its stay for it may decide to not rear its head again. You don’t want underground, flaky love. That’s not what you long for.
This “Thought...,” may be the result of watching too many Sunday afternoon love movies, reading an overabundance of novels about unrequited love or love gone awry, or listening to a flood of Sunday night Quiet Storm programs on the radio, but, know this – once love has been roused, either in the mind or off the paper, to put it back to sleep is the most disloyal task you’ll ever commit upon your Self. There’s no way to ever deny the yearning within you to have by your side true, lasting, and fulfilling love.

Sadiqqa © 2007

May today there be peace within you, may you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be, may you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith, may you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and to bask in the sun. It is there for each and every one of you.
-- Anonymous

When they start mess’n with you today, remember the peace with in you. When the test feels too impossible to pass, trust your highest power. When you’re unsure about where you’re going, about whether you can make it the next step, know that there is no limit to where you can go and no stamp that says you can’t get there.

When you get tired and frustrated, and when you feel misunderstood, neglected, or invisible, use what God gave you to make the people see and hear you, to calm yourself and find your niche that must be acknowledged and respected. Love the naysayers because you’ve been loved to death.

And, most importantly, when all the tables turn and you find yourself on the wrong side, know that you are a precious and forgiven child of God and He will never leave or forsake you.

Sadiqqa © 2007

The mighty ocean teaches us so much. It is where many songs have been written. It is where many lives have been lost. It is the place of battles and celebration, crises and conquest. Its rushing tides are not afraid nor intimidated. It just flows and brings to the shore those things that it chooses and hurls them at the land as if it were evicting certain objects and snatching others. Perhaps that is why the ocean has persevered for so long. It knows how to release some things and grasp others. If you are going to survive, take a lesson from the ocean. Hurl some things away from you and bring others to you, and when all else fails, just go on.
-- T. D. Jakes

Think of the other lessons that nature teaches us –

The seasons teach us to prepare for each new phase of our lives. They teach us that change is inevitable, and with every new phase of our lives, something different is required. Perhaps our summer season allows us opportunity to reveal more of ourselves, possibly sweat some stuff out of our systems. Maybe our winter season finds us coming back in or taking cover to protect ourselves from the cold and calculating moods and temperatures that sometimes surround us. Maybe our spring and fall allow us breathing periods to flow and develop gracefully into whatever is coming next.

The wind teaches us to brush ourselves off, sometimes brushing briskly for immediate clearance; other times offering gentle swishes that remind us that we are still alive and moving. It teaches us like each passing breeze, circumstances and situations pass too, but when they blow past us they can be refreshing and rehabilitating. And the breeze sometimes gives us a whiff of something pleasing and delightful.

Trees show us how to grow despite the wear and tear of the season, the foundation they stand upon, the soil they’re grown in, or the right or wrong end of the planting season. A tree teaches us to shed what’s no longer providing sustenance, and germinate more of what is productive and beautiful. Trees teach us to rest when it’s time.

Weeds teach us about endurance and strength. They confirm for us that there’s nothing too hard or too out of reach for us to penetrate and overcome. Weeds show us that even through intentional destruction, there is something we can find within ourselves that keeps us going, growing, and coming back even tougher than before, with attitude so commanding, somebody gives you a fabulous name and you become the most popular whatever that ever walked this earth.

Look around you today and notice what nature is trying to show you. Nature replenishes and heals itself. So must you.

Sadiqqa © 2007

In the grand scheme of it all, is it really worth the price of beans?
-- Author Unknown

We spend a lot of time obsessing over things that either make no difference or have little, if any, impact on our individual lives. Who cares about Michael Vick and his pit bulls?

Now, before you delete this “Thought...,” for its sheer insensitivity and audacity, Vick’s participation, whatever it was, in the dog fights was abhorrent and worthy of punishment, and the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA, certainly have cause to protest and even ask for his suspension and release from the Atlanta Falcons. However, in a country whose sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, and moms and dads are dying or becoming incapacitated daily to protect and resurrect a disastrous government 2 steps shy of collapse and extinction, what difference does it make to you what one man does on his property with his dogs? Yes, it was an immoral act. Okay, established. Yes, he served as a role model to thousands of children who looked up to him and lauded his accomplishments. So! Perhaps it’s our fault that we held him in such high esteem in the first place. Perhaps we need to rethink who we set before our kids as role models so none of us will be all that disappointed.

Today commemorates 2 years post Katrina and its devastation to the gulf coast of America. Except that the flood waters have receded, today, 2 years later, that region still remains largely untouched by relief and rebuilding efforts. Former gulf coast residents are scattered throughout the country and making new roots for themselves, many having given up hope that the government, as promised, was going to do its part to resurrect their sunken cities. There is talk of nominating Michael Chertoff, secretary of Homeland Security – the federal department designed to protect American citizens from harm here at home – as the next Attorney General of these here United States, and, although, if nominated by President Bush for the position, he will receive very hard questioning from our elected officials in Congress. However, the likelihood that the man who bungled provisions and assistance for the lives and livelihood of displaced people will be appointed as the main legal advisor to the U.S. government is very high and extremely disconcerting. Yet, headlines on your local evening news broadcast and criticized an Idaho senator for his misdemeanor private longings and indiscretions. Who gives a damn about that other than his wife, kids, mom and dad? Maybe some of his constituents in Idaho care, but at the end of the day, they’ll still eat, sleep well, and make love to whomever they want.

And do you care that Brittany Spears was spotted in a long blond wig? Do you care that Lindsey Lohan admitted her drug use? Who cares if Lionel Richie’s daughter turned herself in to the police and her best bud was just released from jail? That’s their business. It doesn’t pay our bills, unless you’re their publicist or the reporter who covers their highly overrated the stories. The fact is, they’ll be back on top tomorrow and you will have wasted your time following their next moves.
People are dying in Darfur and Somolia. Haiti, after years of tyrannical rule, was further destroyed by hurricane winds. Six black students and other black residents in Jena, Louisiana can still find no justice for themselves in this “salad bowl” country. Utah residents resignedly await any news about their loved ones lost underground as mining continues without adequate and aggressive regulations and enforcement. The moon was eclipsed by the earth’s shadow which, if you saw it, gave you an amazing sense of your being and the proximity of the world around you. The Southern drought is killing cows because there’s no grass or hay for them to eat. The Midwest floods are driving up the price of corn. The West is still on fire and due an earthquake any day.

Hell, Michael Vicks’ escapades don’t amount to a hill of beans for the price of a dollar.

Sadiqqa © 2007

There are a lot of ways to get to the top of the jungle gym.
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, “Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me”

You could see the top of the jungle gym, the culminating point of where you were trying to get. You bet the view from up there was incredible and the most rewarding view you’d ever laid your eyes on or set your mind to. As you stood leaning on the tree beside the jungle gym, you were anxious to reach the top because you were bored with the monotony of being down there at the bottom on the stinking playground. The trouble was you were stuck down there because you hadn’t figured out how to get up there.

Several times you’d started out toward that goal, but each time it seemed as though your plans somehow went awry. Sometimes you ran into people who stood in your way like boulders, leaving you with the monumental task of figuring out how to get around them, and, in some cases, get over them, without falling off, out, or behind. Sometimes your plans, your steps, were too large because you forgot to break them down rung by rung, so they ultimately got left behind whether they were good ideas or not. Sometimes you worked your way into a culdesac and ended up doubling back to travel the same route and do the same work you’d done before which meant you didn’t move any closer or higher to the top – you just stayed in one place. In trying to reach the top, you sometimes tripped over and stepped on your own feet and got all twisted up then sat down and pouted too long about the pain and unfairness of it all, so long that you just wanted to give up and go home. Covered with sweat and the eyes of others you knew were watching and laughing at you, you chucked the idea of getting to the top of this jungle gym and simply settled for the safety of swinging on the swing set. But oh how you longed for the top of that jungle gym.

Each day you visited the park, you realized there was always going to be some thing, big things perhaps, thrown in the way of your plans to get to the top of that jungle gym. But you also figured out that just because there was an obstacle didn’t mean you wouldn’t get to the top. You would just have to be clever enough to come up with a good plan. Maybe a few good plans.

On one trip, you thought you’d ask some of the bigger kids sitting at the top of the jungle gym to pull you up. That wasn’t such a bad idea. Only you had to be sure the person or people pulling you would take you all the way and support you once you reached the top. You could never be sure so you set that idea aside for later and went to slide down the slides instead.

On your next visit, you thought perhaps you’d ask someone to pick you up and place you on the top of the jungle gym. That’s a way, you thought. But then you figured that’s sort of like cheating. You wouldn’t be doing any of the work, no sweat off your brow, you’d just be carried and set there. Where’s the fun in that? That day you played on the merry-go-round.

The next day’s visit found you thinking about how you could get dropped off there, like from a helicopter, or, the big tree that sat beside the jungle gym! You’d really never paid that tree much attention except to lean against while making plans for climbing the jungle gym. But now you eyed the expanse of the tree, walked its circumference, touched it, and felt for juts and grooves. You’d sized it up pretty good before you realized that if you could climb that big oak, certainly you could climb that jungle gym. But then you thought if you could climb that tree which was much bigger and higher than the jungle gym, you wouldn’t even care about that old jungle gym anymore. So you decided to climb the tree instead! On that day you began to climb the tallest tree in the park without a hint of fear or hesitation. It took some time, but by nightfall, you had climbed that big oak, come back down, and reached your front porch just in time for the street lights to flicker on.

Why could you find the wherewithal to climb that tree and not the jungle gym? Who knows? Maybe because nobody else was climbing it, it was your great idea. Maybe because it was a mightier feat, a more attractive and rewarding goal and adventure than the rusty old jungle gym. Maybe climbing the jungle gym to get to the top to view the world below was too trite, predictable, and boring. Maybe you climbed the tree because you wanted a better view than what the jungle gym could ever offer. Who knows? All you know is there are a million ways to climb to the top of and beyond the jungle gym.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Reading is power and we can have power if we read.
-- Author Unknown

A 2002 survey conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau and the National Endowment for the Arts revealed that only 46.7% of the U.S. population reads literature (novels, short stories, plays, etc.). Of that 47%, roughly 57% had read a book of any kind in the past year compared to over 60% ten years ago. The study further presented that men read less than women; Hispanics and African-Americans read less than whites; and teenagers abhor picking up a book as opposed to talking on a cell phone, watching television, surfing the web, or playing a video game, all of which cater to and generate shorter attention spans and immediate forms of gratification.

Of course the survey isn’t talking about readers of the “Thought...,.” Each of us is an avid and diligent reader.

Hey, who laughed?

If you’re not reading, you’re brain is a flat as a pancake. Reading is the single best way to build up the left hemisphere of the brain which is the part of the brain that is in charge of our verbal processing and analytical ability. The more we read, think about, and reflect on what we read, for example, the greater the strength of the neural pathways that develop, strengthen, and increase brain power.

Reading, unlike watching television or playing a video game, requires a greater measure of active attention and engagement thus increasing intellectual ability and interests. In their study, the Census Bureau and Endowment for the Arts found that readers are far more likely than nonreaders to participate in volunteer and charity work as well as visit art museums, performing arts events, and ballgames. While this may or may not be true – given the interests of the surveyor – just being a part of such an elite group should make you want to finish that copy of Nietzsche’s “Beyond Good and Evil.”

Or not.

Seriously, if you’re not reading, you’re missing quite a bit. Though not a literary venture, in your local newspaper each day, lies news and information about the world outside your door. In the newspaper you’ve got news about a never-ending war and its impending impact on your safety and security. There’s information about presidential candidates whose messages are watered down and more of the same and others whose approach to politics will actually and positively change the state of the nation. And, your local newspaper will tell you that although the crime rate in your city is at an all-time low, the crimes being committed are those most heinous. If you’re not at least reading the newspaper, how can you stay abreast of current events and make some sense of the world in which you live? Where’s the power in that?

If you haven’t picked up a good book lately, shame on you; you have no idea the wealth of knowledge, entertainment, and experience you’re forfeiting. There are fiction tales that take you away and nonfiction books that make your current station more livable. There are a plethora of short, one-sitting reads; books that take weeks to read; and books you never want to put down. There are children’s books that make all problems solvable and your heart warm again; and mysteries that keep you guessing and lying awake at night from either fear or sheer delight at the meanderings of a great writer.

There’s the “Good Book,” or the Bible, either in King James’ version, the New International Version (NIV), the American Standard Version, the Message, Darby Translation, or any number of other versions suited for your taste and translation. Whichever your choice to read, talk about power!

All say reading is fundamental and that to hide something from someone, place it in a book. Let’s be among the 47% - 57% of Americans who do read and let our power ring eternal!

Sadiqqa © 2007

This is a good day for living. Follow your heart, sing happy songs, check your attitude, believe in yourself, share your talents, be on time, demand the best, keep your promises, preserve your heritage, reaffirm your faith.
-- Queen Mother Burnece Walker Brunson, “Life Is Like”

This is indeed a good day for living. No matter how hot and dry the day; no matter how early you had to wake up to be at work somewhere within the vicinity of “on time;” no matter how many people rub you the wrong way just by opening their mouths; no matter the number of bill collectors that call you on your job even after you’ve told them countless times not to call there; no matter that the only thing you have for lunch today is peanut butter, crackers, water, and a mint because payday is Friday and all you have in your pocket and your bank account is due to the bill collectors calling you on your job; no matter how long your work day runs beyond your regular hours because the 4:00pm meeting was postponed until 5:30pm and somebody forgot to tell the West coast people on the conference call that you had a life beyond work; no matter how late it is when you get home, only to realize your electricity has been off all day because the power company’s transformers malfunctioned in the heat – and you only know this because you called the power company to be sure you’d paid your bill and got the recording that said they’d already dispatched people to work on the transformer for your area and apologized for the inconvenience; no matter how uncomfortable it is to sleep in one spot because moving would make it hotter in your house, it is indeed a good day for living.

Because if you didn’t live, stay conscious, and value this day, you wouldn’t be able to appreciate the cool air when it clicks back on and fills your house. You wouldn’t be able to share affirming and encouraging exchanges with those who most annoy you, ignoring their insensitivity and pettiness and walking the high road that Jesus walked. You wouldn’t be able to remind the collectors of your billpayers rights since you usually pay your bills on time but just happen to be a little behind right now then feel satisfied when they thank you for that and extend your due date another 3 weeks. You wouldn’t be up for the accolades and opportunities for career and financial advancement you received from sticking with the West coast’s late appointments, and you definitely wouldn’t know how to deal with another day like this when it comes around again.

You wouldn’t be able to follow your heart, believe in yourself, demand the best, or reaffirm your faith if you didn’t keep living, being, listening, learning, going today. Yes, today is indeed a good day for living.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Whatever you’re faced with is a spiritual battle. The issue is not whether you win but whether you are developing the tools to maintain a faith-filled stance through it all. Right dead in the middle of this battle, you might just discover what an indestructible, untouchable, battle-winning, marvelously creative child of God you are!
-- Esther Davis-Thompson

And what a revelation it is to discover that you are an indestructible, untouchable, battle-winning, marvelously creative child of God! You sensed you might be, but it took the valley, storm, and a few midnights to unearth what you knew to be true.

So now that your fabulousness has been confirmed, what will you do with all that energy?

Will you simply box it up and hide it away for fear that you will be required to do more, be more, and give more of yourself and doing such may cause you to fail or look funny? Will you run from it or act counter to it, making people believe it was a once in a lifetime occurrence for you to show such outstanding character? Are you so tired and out of breath from the whittling you received that you’ll just as soon rest on the present accolades, put forth little to no effort to develop and enhance them, and leave your newly interred qualities unnurtured and wide open for detraction and compromise?

Yeah right!

You’re going to allow your true Self, the one polished by adversity and made supple trial and error, to order your steps and carry you to greater heights, the places you didn’t dare put on paper because you thought they were unreachable, even unreasonable. You’re going to allow who you’ve become to rule your interactions with the world and its many people who have yet to realize their own power and potential!

You’re going to let the person you’ve uncovered unlock doors you previously believed barred and off limits, and step boldly into opportunities with confidence and flair only wrought through the lessons learned in a battle. Your newfound sense of Self will lessen the length of your future battles, improve your resiliency skills, and make you less afraid of struggle’s intensity and its unconstructive influence on your person!

You are going to use your indestructible, untouchable, battle-winning, marvelously creative child of God Self to change lives and help others come into their own indestructible, untouchable, battle-winning, marvelously creative child of God Selves. You will unreservedly celebrate your Self daily, noting how strong you’ve become, and incessantly strengthen your Self through constant attention to internal and physical detail. You will allow nothing, absolutely nothing, to dampen your spirit, squash what you worked hard to develop, or turn you around!

That is what you will do.

Sadiqqa © 2007

“I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! But I have a baptism to undergo, and how distressed I am until it is completed!”
-- Jesus (Luke 12:49 – 50)

Jesus came into the world so that we might have freedom, peace, and eternal life. He came like fire bringing fiery truth and redemption. He came into this upside down world to turn it right side up and to restore wholeness, compassion, and right relationship with God and others. Jesus came so that he could wipe our slates clean of sin and usher us all into God’s grace and favor. Jesus laid down his precious life so that we could have new life. Jesus came to save us!

Well, neither you nor I can save the world, but each of us has come into the world with the same gusto, drive, and fire that Jesus came with to accomplish the purpose set for us. And just as Jesus couldn’t rest until he got His done, you can’t rest either.

Each day you leave your door – no – each day that you wake, you ought to be as scorching as fire as you work to accomplish your purpose. Every step you take should be in order with your purpose, and every word uttered from your mouth should be of that direction as well. Not a single step should be taken in fear; they should be bold and sure just like Jesus’ steps. Your words, spoken in and on purpose, should be forthright and deliberate so that everyone understands what you came to do. Your countenance should be confident and undaunting so that there are no questions about how serious you are about accomplishing your purpose, and your attitude should be unwavering so that people will know you didn’t come to play. Anything less waters down the fire of your mission, usurps your credibility, is a waste of time, and is not like Jesus.

Had Jesus hemmed-and-hawed when God told Him to save your soul, you’d have an excuse to dally your way out of vehemently fulfilling the purpose God set before you. But Jesus didn’t; He took the task on with love and respect for His Father AND your life, pursued it with passion, and stressed out when we didn’t (and don’t) live our lives in ways that show we know what He was sent to do for us. You must also, without complaint or wasting time, lovingly take on your purpose and accomplish it with zeal no matter which or how many of the Pharisees stress you out. Jesus didn’t break, you won’t either.

If you’re not on fire, if you’re not excited and burning with power and determination as you walk and work in and on your purpose, what’s the point? If you stop or give in before you have completely undergone the baptism, the tests and challenges you find on the path to your purpose, you may as well be ashes.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Ask if you can play, too.
-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis

Nobody ever asked you what you thought. They never considered you might have the answer to the problem at hand or a new way to make the opportunities possible. They never asked you what you knew. But you also never told them what you could do.

You’ve got exactly what they need to help them be successful. You’ve also got a chance to lead the group, change some perspectives, and make a difference in the lives of a lot of people. But you never speak up or stand up when its time to make a decision, frequently positioning yourself on the fence where it’s safe and often crowded. You can’t play in the game because they don’t even see you on the field.

You can’t get ahead this way. If you just sit around wondering how you can be a real player in the game of life, but never opening up or stepping out, never asking how and why and where, waiting for an invitation, a smile, or a friendly word, you’ll never get to play a good game. You’ve got to take the risks involved in speaking up, standing up, and having a differing point of view. Else you’re just filling space and meandering through life hoping for a big break and pot of gold to fall from the sky.

Jump in! Ask somebody how to do the stuff. Let people know you’re interested in something and that you know what to do. Never fail to show up somewhere interesting with something good to offer. If you don’t, it’s nobody’s fault but your own if you don’t get to be part of the festivities of life.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of attention.
-- Jim Rohn

Just before falling asleep last night, when the house was quiet and serene – the only sounds the low hum of the refrigerator, the crickets outside, and the faint whistle in your breathing – you took a moment to reflect on your day. And what a day it was! It must’ve been. Why else would you have been so tired and worn? But what exactly did you do yesterday?

Well, you remember waking up and offering your morning prayers. But what did you pray for? You remember getting dressed, even what you wore and checking yourself out in the mirror. But do you remember and did you stop and consider with complete alertness what you saw when you looked at yourself? Or did you just do a quick scan, straighten you collar, and keep going?

Do you remember listening intently to your thoughts and what others had to say throughout the day, or did you have so many things on your mind that no one thing penetrated your consciousness? Did you stay so close to the surface of the day that everything felt surreal, incomplete, and artificial? Perhaps you got a lot done yesterday; you completed a project, made valuable connections, you may have even saved a rainforest or figured out how to help NASA put the tiles back in place. But if you didn’t get a grasp of any particular moment, if attention to the inner recesses of life – the nuts and bolts stuff that give it depth and meaning – was lacking, if you failed to observe the unfolding of life around you, your existence today had no experience at all. What a wasted day.

Living in the moment is just that; it’s being “alive” at this moment. It is being present right here and right now. Being present in the moment allows you the opportunity to enmesh yourself into this time, fully getting from it the joys and displeasures only available during that moment. It is being alert and awake to what is around you, and taking in the messages and the variety of experiences and nuances, no matter how small, of the present time. Being present, living in the moment, is wholly concentrating on where you are, what you’re doing, and how it all feels to you.

Bet you don’t even remember the experience of driving to work this morning. Bet you can’t recall the movement of the trees or the state of the people you encountered on your way in to work this morning. You were caught up in anything but the moment. Perhaps you should have stayed home instead of wasting your moments in time.

Life is but a moment, and it must be experienced moment by moment. If we spend our moments rushing through them or passing them by without bare attention to their existence, we miss opportunities and possibilities and, most importantly, we miss our precious Selves who are waiting to be attended. Life is but a moment but it’s about the moments within. Pay attention to them.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Do you ever feel the true you is hidden, even from yourself? There’s only one way to get to the real: by reclaiming emotions you learned to bury a long time ago.
-- Mark Epstein

Well, if you knew how to reclaim those buried emotions, you’d have already done that, right?

And, if you even knew what those emotions were, you’d already be well on your way, isn’t that the truth?

The real truth is that you’ve probably already reclaimed those emotions and run into who you really are time after time but you had no idea it was you and those were the emotions you’d kept hidden because it all somehow got minced in with your everyday routine and the facts of your life.

So break your routine. Do something different that requires you to think about what you’re doing. Do something unpredictable, something that surprises you. Do something so uncharacteristic that you have to stretch to find yourself and a comfortable comfort zone. You’ll find yourself and the hidden emotions will stand out.

It may be a small step, but remember – small steps keep you from being buried.

Sadiqqa © 2007

... compose a mission statement. It doesn’t mean your life will follow the exact pattern, but you will still have set a course for who you believe yourself to be.
-- Oprah Winfrey

Every business has a mission, a purpose, a reason for being, and this mission tells stakeholders the needs it addresses, what it values, and how it does its business – all in a mere few sentences. Without such a statement, no one who had any interest in the company – from stockholders and CEOs to employees and their families – would be on the same page, nor could the company effectively plan for its future.

Consider that perhaps our lives can be treated like that of a business, and in order to ensure our continued success – or at least our sustainability – we should develop personal mission statements that will keep us from living haphazardly and too far from the realm of reality. Consider drawing up a personal statement that seriously answers the question, “why do I exist?” A statement of purpose that is alive and upbeat because you are, thoughtful and convincing, inspiring enough that it will draw support and commitment from others, and short enough for you to remember and spout off when asked what you do makes for a powerful one and sets you far above those who go wherever the wind blows and simply take life as it comes.

Of course developing your personal mission statement would suggest that you at least have some idea of who you are, what you can offer, and what you value. Knowing what is true about yourself; being tuned in to your talents and gifts, strengths and weaknesses; and understanding your needs and beliefs and their points of origin are all necessary for constructing a personal mission statement. Without knowledge of these components, you’re simply putting a puzzle together without the inside pieces.

Barring that you’re fully aware of the above (and if you’re not, now’s as good a time as any to get started. You don’t want to be 80 years old and either not know who you are or simply resigned to being whoever rose with the sun.), your statement of purpose should be written clearly and concisely, and once you’ve got it in stone, you can set your goals and daily activities along its path.

Regularly review your personal statement to purge staleness and irrelevance, and remind yourself that doing anything other than actualizing your mission can be detrimental to your survival and success and should be eliminated quickly. Keep your mission front and center at all times and see what your future unfolds.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Sending your blessings a few times a day to a person you are in conflict with is helpful in reducing misunderstanding and hostility. It doesn’t change the other person; it changes you. It softens your heart; it helps how you treat and respond to that person. When you resent or resist someone, that negativity is felt by them just as your openheartedness is.
-- Susan Taylor

The boss is on your back just because it’s Monday morning and you look better than he does. Your honey’s love is not so sweet today and she on your last nerve. You are two seconds short of calling your kids “the spawn of the devil” for sending you clear over the edge. Bless them anyway.

The lady in the blue ’72 hooptie cut you off in traffic then proceeded to drive 35 miles per hour all the way into the city. Two of your most difficult clients gave you hell in a handbasket today; another cancelled your services and another just didn’t show. Entering the breakroom, you overheard the tail end of one of your coworker’s very racy and racist joke, and when he saw you, he and the other eager listeners burst out laughing. Bless them all anyway.

Your newspaper was thrown in and soaked by your sprinklers this morning. The kids on the block yesterday who were eating chips, cookies, and candy discarded the trash at the edge of your lawn and the wind blew it to your front door. The trash collectors didn’t get your trash today; they’re on strike because they want more benefits (you thought I was going to say pay, huh?). Bless each of them anyway.

Send them all love and words of understanding and reprieve. Even if the injurious, inappropriate, and inexcusable stuff was done on purpose, send out the energy of forgiveness and compassion. It’s certainly not easy to back away from resentment and anger, and it may take some time to calm down and remove the reeling thoughts of wanting heads to roll. But even if it makes no difference in the attitude or behaviors of the perpetrators, ask God to bless their hearts anyway and watch how your heart and sense of peace will be salvaged and blessed.

Sadiqqa © 2007

The very act of constantly dividing one’s personality between a predominately white world of work and a predominately black home community can be wearying.
-- Clarence Page

You woke up this morning in your Black home, washed and adorned your black body, combed your black hair, locked the door of your black house, got in the car to listen to your black music, and drove through traffic thinking black thoughts. Then, you walked into a lily white office.

You suddenly do 2 things – 1) tone your black down then 2) put on the white cap.

Now, some of us don’t care; we never change out of our black. We drive into the parking lot with the music booming, heads bopping, and our fists pumped, not caring who’s watching in shock, disapproval, or disbelief.

But others of us smile at everybody like we are the world, laugh along with the group as the boss tells yet another corny story that is so not interesting, and even change the vernacular of our language and voices to match that of the dominant group. Maybe we do those things to fit in and ultimately keep our jobs. Maybe we don’t want white people to think we’re not totally like them thus causing them to think us different, difficult, or unapproachable and ultimately blackballed, disrespected, and/or without a job. Maybe we want white people to think we’re different than the Black folks they saw on the evening news last night, the ones who got arrested for acting fools for whatever reason. Whatever our reasons for cloaking our black at the expense of white folks, it certainly makes for a long, hard day, one in which walking a real tight rope is probably easier.

W.E.B. Dubois called it having a “double consciousness,” and though he was referring to Black people being both Black and American, having “two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings,” this double consciousness is synonymous with having to walk in 2 worlds – a Black one and a white one. Both worlds have their own peculiarities, and as Black people, we have to walk the line between both worlds, switching back and forth as necessary. How much more comfortable are you talking with the Black secretary or janitor than you are talking with your white co-workers because of the innate similarities you and that Black person have in common? Don’t your shoulders tend to relax a little when you’re just shooting the breeze with Leroy the janitor who comes from around your neighborhood? You and he have sort of an unspoken solidarity despite your socioeconomic, gender, or age statuses.

Each day we must reconcile living Black in a white world. We must know not only how to maneuver and get along in the world of Black, we also have to know the same when we cross the emotional and physical railroads, which means we spend most of the day outside of our true selves and in the heads of white people and trying to stay 2 steps ahead. And it’s not until we’ve shown them who we are and that we’re harmless human beings just like they are that we let down our guard and keep the black on.
But there comes a day and time when you’re too tired to front any longer and you just want to be. And why shouldn’t you? White people get to just be white. You are who you are, there’s no denying that, and none of us should even begin to think we have to shut away our Black customs and individuality just to fit in and keep white people at ease. There’s no reason for us to divide our personalities. Who we are is who we are in any community.

And, whose issue is it if white people are uncomfortable with Black? It’s not ours and we should not take it.

No more hiding, acculturating, and obliterating who we really are just to make white people comfortable.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Problem... here I come!
-- Esther Davis-Thompson

Everytime you open your front door, there is Problem. Bold, undeniable, in-your-face Problem.

Problem is rude. He never waits for you to open the door. He seeps through the jambs, and sometimes he just barges in and pushes you out of the way.

And Problem’s not just one of those that stays for a little while, you know, like Peace and Bliss who sometimes stay for a minute or two. No, Problem stays around, wearing out his welcome. Sometimes Problem stays so long that Bliss, Peace, and the rest of their visiting friends – Happiness, Contentment, Joy, and Harmony –leave as soon as possible and don’t come back for a very long time. They don’t want to stay around Problem; they just can’t stomach him. Problem comes in and eats up all your chocolate ice cream in one sitting, steals your energy, makes you angry, makes you cry, and has a tendency to bring in his no-good cousins Trouble, Depression, and Crisis. Problem makes your life utterly miserable.

But Problem only stays around until you put him out – you learned that a while ago, a few weeks ago, as a matter of fact, when he came calling. Problem sat around and sat around until you finally said, “I just can’t take this Problem anymore!” You were mad and Problem knew it. He started packing his dirty bags and giving you all the stuff bag he stole – your ability to sleep soundly, your appetite, and your precious smile and laughter. And just like that, he was gone. Well, he was gone after he tried to convince you to let him stay a while longer by telling you that you couldn’t live without him, that you needed him, and that you would be empty without him. While that line of reasoning had worked in the past, this time you were so sick of Problem, you escorted him out and slammed the door on his butt!

But it seems Problem has a thing for you and always returns to make you and your life surly. That’s why he’s at your door today, and he actually likes you surly.

Here’s what you need to do -

Surprise him. Immediately – don’t wait for him to get comfortable – look him dead in the face, right in his eyes, and tell him he no longer has a resting place in your space; you have no more need for Problem in your life. Tell him you are in charge and he can no longer occupy your head or balance himself on your shoulders, weighing you down with his circumstances. Make him know that you will no longer spend your days and nights worrying about him or the damage he’s causing to your psyche because there will be no damage, he’s done. Stomp his toe, give him an elbow in the stomach, and body slam him into the porch (because you didn’t let him in your house, remember?). And then tell him if he even tries to come back, you’ve got more of this for him!

He’ll probably call your bluff and come back again and again and again. That’s just the way Problem is. But every time he comes back, tell him, “Problem, come on! I dare you!” Then knock him out immediately!

Sadiqqa © 2007

I have been carefully prepared to do the work that is before me. By each experience that I have undergone and each person I have known, by every conflict and problem and challenge set before me on my path from the day of my birth until now, I have purposely been made able. I must simply believe this to be so and walk my path to the High Places by knowing this to be so.
-- Esther Davis-Thompson

There are days you think you can’t handle it, nights that seem too hard. The task put before you seems monumental, as though you’ll never accomplish. It all feels too big, too much, too hard. So what do you do about it?

Worry.

You worry that you don’t have everything you need to make it happen. You worry that you’ll never get all the stuff done to make it happen. You worry about the process. You worry that the people aren’t in place, that you won’t make friends. You worry that you’ll say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. You worry that you don’t have enough or won’t have enough. You worry that you’ll be stumped, look stupid, or fail. You worry that you’ll be alone. You worry about every piece and part so much that you make yourself sick and not even a dose of chewable Immodium® or Pepto Bismol® every 4 hours will stop the flood that comes from your orifices.

But if you think about it, if you reflect on the last time you had to pull a big, scary thing off, you’ll realize you did it and lived. You had everything you needed to make the thing happen before, certainly things will fall in place this time as well. Why wouldn’t they? You may have to work a bit harder and longer for this may be an even bigger challenge than before, but, so what? Just work harder and longer. You were made for this. You were built tough. You were born a winner. You’ve gone through enough stuff to know exactly how to craft your way through this. You can make it happen.

In the meantime, while you’re waiting for this challenge to pass, stop worrying and just enjoy the journey. Before you know it, that thing will have happened and you’ll be on to the next opportunity.

And don’t worry about that one either.

Sadiqqa © 2007

For now...
-- Reina

For now, you may have to take your lunch everyday – peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, bologna sandwiches, or leftovers from your mama’s Sunday dinner.

For now, you may need to forgo expanded cable. No digitally-enhanced movie channels that feature the latest big budget blockbusters.

For now, that new pair of Jimmy Choo shoes and meal at the city’s newest and most hyped 5-star restaurant may have to take a backseat to bills, childcare, insurance, and other living expenses demanding their portion.

For now, you have to work from sun-up until sun-down to make one end even see the other end. For now, there’s more month than money, and robbing Peter to pay Paul means you also have to borrow from Mary and Martha just to keep Paul from realizing he was robbed.

For now, you may need to be alone – just you – to sort through your life’s purpose and figure out what’s really on your mind. For now, your alone time may best be spent dissecting and picking away at the scars and wounds just below the surface.

For now it’s hot outside, and when it rains, it gets hotter and the air gets thicker. For now, the heat and hazy air make you listless, have a headache, and draw cicadas – the blind ones that sting whatever they run into. For now, you’re counting the days until the first chill even though counting means you’re rushing your life.

But just as the seasons change, so do our own seasons and situation. You won’t always have to eat last night’s dinner; you’ll be able to go to the new restaurant and have lunch AND dinner if you like. Later on down the road, you will be able to buy 2 or 3 pairs of shoes using your very own disposable money, then choose which pair you’d like to wear on that evening’s date, shelving the other few pairs for the other dates you have lined up.

One day, and it won’t be too long from now, you'll see that “for now” will be yesterday.

Sadiqqa © 2007

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills; if you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains; if you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles; if you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it; if you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time; if you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong; if you can take criticism and blame without resentment; if you can face the world without lies and deceit; if you can relax without liquor and sleep without the aid of drugs; if you can do all these things, then you are probably the family dog.
-- Author Unknown

Sometimes life deals us some rough circumstances and throws us into places that are hurtful, uncomfortable, or just plain dumb. It’s hard to stay up and open all the time. One day you’re sitting in an easy chair on easy street and everything’s going your way; the very next day, your chair has been overturned, the street has formed switchbacks, and you can’t even find your way. That’s life.

To stay focused on the beauty and magnificence of life’s journey when things are bleak and wearisome isn’t easy; it takes a tough and resilient constitution and strong, unrelenting faith that this too shall pass and just on the other side of any mess is you the victor, the conqueror.

You could spend your life as a pessimist, doubting good things will happen and refuting that the good stuff that does happen was meant to be, not just chance or a fluke. But then you run the risk of missing out on certainties and opportunities that only come to fruition because you believed in them. Or you can spend your life as an eternal optimist who believes that every slam turns into a big juicy steak and just saying it’s all good actually makes it all good. But that’d be naïve and you’d probably feel foolish more times than not.

Or perhaps it’s healthiest to find a balance, a happy medium, between the two extremes. Perhaps living in the middle of cynicism and cheerfulness allows room to exercise your humanness and gives you permission to experience all the emotions along the spectrum of attitudes, going with the day’s feeling and flow whatever they are. Perhaps as humans we aren’t designed or intended to function in just one place, that what we deal with each day should cause us to move as a Ferris Wheel does so that we not only appreciate the ups, but we can catch another wind and pray and prepare for our ups when we’re down.

That’s what life is about – taking it all in stride, never to personally, never too casually, but simply accepting and emotionally accommodating it without too much worry or strife. Stuff happens to us all. The trick is to steady your outlook and lie comfortably, humbly, and patiently somewhere along the middle of the edges, shaking it all off your back – just like the family dog.

Sadiqqa © 2007

Global warming is the #1 environmental problem today, but everyone can effectively fight it by offsetting the greenhouse gas emissions they are responsible for, essentially erasing their carbon footprint and ‘undoing’ the damage.
-- DrivingGreen.com

Glaciers are receding and ice shelves are breaking off into the sea. Sea levels, rising and getting warmer, are flooding coastal communities, killing marine life, and producing catastrophic storms that cause sizable damage, loss of life, and rampant homelessness. A third of our country is experiencing drought; another third is flooded; and the last third is on fire. All of this is causing crop failures and some of us are starving. Much of our energy comes from fossil fuels – coal, oil, and natural gas that formed underground from the remains of plants and animals that lived millions of years ago. But they release heat-trapping gases into the atmosphere. This, coupled with the carbon dioxide that the 6,000,000,000 of us around the world release daily, is causing global warming, and it is this warming that breaks the glaciers and causes the errant weather conditions.

Perhaps that’s why we’re visiting other planets. Ours is becoming extinct.

Maybe humans did so much damage to some other planet millions of years ago that we had to explore earth and move here before we burned up or used up all its resources. Hmmm...

So what can we really do to save ourselves and the planet from what some call a natural and inevitable occurrence?

We can all ride bicycles, live in solar houses, raise our own food and cattle, and have no more children.

Okay, realistically, there’re a lot of simpler and more practical things we can do to preserve the earth we’ve got, and if each of us does these things, we can reduce the greenhouse gas emissions, the stuff that clogs up the air and makes it warmer, by a large percentage.

First of all, we can keep our mouths shut more often. The more we talk the more energy we expend into the universe. Think about all the hot air you spread each day... Okay, that may not be a documented way to decrease gas emissions, but, less talk gives you more time to listen, and listening increases thinking, thinking you can do to take seriously the issue of global warming and formulate solid plans to reduce it. So, shut your mouth.

Next time you brush your teeth, turn the water off, you’ll save gallons of water. Or, better yet, brush your teeth in the shower as you shower which, by the way, uses less water than taking a bath. Kill two birds with one stone. Speaking of birds, don’t kill any real ones; they eat moths and flies, the flies that land on your food that was expensive because of the drought and flooding.

When you wash, either the clothes or the dishes, make sure you’ve got a full load in the washing machine and dishwasher; open the fridge only after you’ve decided what you want to eat, not while you decide; and turn off your lights and unplug your appliances when they’re not in use. Those are simple.

Use compact fluorescent lights instead of standard bulbs in your lamps. They use two-thirds the energy and last 10 times longer; lower your water thermostat to 120 degrees; over the course of a year, it’ll save you nearly 10% on your heating and cooling bill; and when the grocer asks you if you want paper or plastic, tell him, “Neither. I brought my own jute bags because paper kills trees and plastic takes 100 years to biodegrade.” Okay you don’t have to say all that, but just take your own bags.

When you drink bottled water, you’re not only increasing the crude oil consumption it takes to make the bottles, you’re wasting the hard earned money you pay each month to your local municipal water service whose responsibility it is to keep your tap water fresh and safe for you to drink. If you don’t trust that water, challenge your water company.

Plant a seed-bearing tree each year so that all that carbon dioxide you’re breathing out can be converted into breathable oxygen. The tree roots help hold soil in place to prevent flooding and the leaves and branches provide food and shelter for numerous creatures that are vital to the earth’s ecosystem. And keep the pesticides out of your garden so it won’t kill off the dragonflies who eat up all the mosquitos!

And speaking of trees, all the junk mail you receive everyday could heat a small country. Visit the privacy rights clearinghouse at http://www.privacyrights.org to stop junk mail. You don’t read it anyway.

Drink organic or fair trade coffee which supports small farms that don’t use chemicals. Buy, or grow, organic flowers. Don’t use Styrofoam or plastic forks and spoons. Keep your tires full; this reduces gas mileage by 3%. Use ceiling fans to circulate the air in your home. Use a dark screensaver on your computer; it uses less of your monitor’s energy. Use appliances with the energy star label; sometimes you can get a tax break for this. Carpool; you’ll get to use the HOV lane.

Since most of us don’t want to stop having children (or raise cattle in our backyards), and the children we have deserve a chance to live on earth, we must each be responsible for reducing what’s causing earth’s extinction. Every little bit of pollution and energy consumption hurts; every little thing we can do to stop polluting and save energy helps. Do your part and encourage somebody else to do the same.

Sadiqqa © 2007

A stumble is not a fall.
-- Haitian proverb

... unless you don’t get up.
You’re down to your last 8 pills and you’ve got another day before the UPS truck delivers your next supply. Why didn’t you place your online order earlier? You feel yourself getting anxious, knowing that even one of those pills would knock that edge off quickly, but you know you must space the pills out so you won’t run out. You pop two anyway then realize that in order to get through the day, you have no choice but to pull out the telephone book and prepare to “doctor shop.” You mark through the name of the last orthopedist you called to talk into an ample supply of the little pills, the one who didn’t require an examination, need your medical records, or recommend you be under medical supervision. You feel your edge subside as you dial the number of the doctor whose name is where your finger landed. “Yes, good morning. My name is ...”

... unless you don’t look at what you stumbled over.
As you listen to the muzak while you wait for the doctor, you think back on when you started taking the pills. You took a bad fall at work, spraining your ankle so badly, you wore a brace for months. The pain is gone now, but the feeling of calm and ease you felt after taking a pill caused your mind and body to depend on that feeling and crave it when it was absent. Now you pop a pill or two whenever you feel any anxiety coming your way, and, boy, do you have some stuff that worries you! From “black tax” job pressures and raising defiant children to unresolved personal issues that need the care of a professional therapist, you are tapped out and in need of something in order to cover and cope. But you don’t consider yourself a drug addict, don’t they have sunken faces and live on the street? You’re fully functioning with a job and an intact family. You can control this at any time and can certainly go cold turkey any time you want to. This you think as you wait for the doctor to come on the line while you hum along to a string, flute, and harmonica version of Barry Manilow’s “Can’t Live Without You.”

... unless you don’t move what caused you stumble.
A third song has played and you’re still waiting for the doctor to pick up the line. Now really, you think, you are functioning pretty well despite all the stuff you deal with on the daily. You manage 3 departments and make very decent money. Despite their constant rebelliousness, your kids, well, they are teenagers and isn’t that just what teenagers do? And you’ve certainly got enough money to hire the best psychoanalyst to help you get through all that bothers you. So, why are you sitting on the phone waiting for a doctor you don’t even know to write you a prescription for the painkillers? You don’t even know if he’ll even write you a prescription without all the hassle of an exam. And really, how functional can you be if you have to depend on a little white pill to get you from one hour to the next? Why are you masking what you’re really feeling? Oh yeah, that’s right, it’s too much to deal with. But at some point, aren’t you going to have to deal with it? You either have to deal with it or remain hostage to it and continue to play this game with doctors and yourself. And, if that little pill can alter how you’re feeling, imagine what’s it’s changing in your body; you could actually be changing the composition of your body and mind, impairing yourself in ways that are irreversible. If that’s happening, you really aren’t functioning, you’re about to fall apart. And if you fall apart, what then? Or, maybe you already fell apart and the pills are the only thing keeping you together. Okay, maybe you are addicted, you think, maybe you are a drug addict, and perhaps this is the wrong call to be making. You hang up just as the doctor picks up the line and thumb through the telephone book to NA, but not before flushing the last 6 pills into the toilet. You know that the rest of the day will be difficult without your crutch, and even imagine yourself lying in a ball, curled up and sweating, fiending for your little pills. And you know that when the delivery guy brings your supply tomorrow, you’ll be tempted to simply sign for it, take 2 more, then act as though nothing is wrong. At this moment, you pray that God gives you the strength to get through the day, refuse the package, and reclaim health and healing. You dial the number. “Yes, good morning. My name is ...”

Sadiqqa © 2007

The bumblebee’s wings are so thin and its body so big, it should not be able to fly. The only problem is the bee doesn’t know that.
-- David Lindsey

What is it that you didn’t know you couldn’t do until somebody told you that you couldn’t? Did somebody tell you that you couldn’t sing so you even stopped singing around the house? Did they say you couldn’t dance so you don’t even “Electric Slide,” “Macarena,” “Cha Cha Slide,” or “Cupid Shuffle” when the songs are played? You won’t even do the “YMCA” or “Lean Wit’ It, Rock Wit’ It.” Even the Teletubbies can do that dance, or something like it at least (go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziVhm4SKpIw).

Did somebody say your idea or invention wouldn’t work so you chucked it and all the hard work you’d put into it only to turn on the television last night to see the same smart invention – advertised by its slick-haired, deeply-tanned, laid-back creator, who’s, by the way, sitting on his house boat off the warm and sandy shores of Florida – on sale for 5 easy installments of 79.95 each plus shipping and handling? Looks like it did work.

Did somebody tell you that because you’re a female, you couldn’t work in a male-dominated field like fire fighting, repair and construction work, or auto mechanics, even though you were interested in and/or good at those jobs, and now, doing the job you do, you earn an average 20% less than a man who does the same job as you? Did they say you had to be a teacher or nurse because those jobs were stable and secure and something you could always fall back on if you didn’t make it in sales, accounting, engineering, or Hollywood? You don’t even like kids and you definitely can’t stomach blood or bed pans.

Did they say because you’re male, you can’t cry or show any emotions – other than anger – because only girls do that and you’ll look like a sissy or biatch? So instead you keep your feelings inside or express them in a way that’s hurtful and unhealthy? And did the same people tell you that you must be the one in the household who works outside the home each day instead of encouraging your choice to stay at home to care for the kids and household business and so now you barely know your kids and have no idea where all the money you make goes?

Bet somebody told you that if you didn’t meet your mate in college, you would never be married. Maybe that’s why you kept taking college classes, you hoped to find somebody. Do those same people bug you now about your marital status (“you’re going to be an old maid”), tell you they hear your baby clock ticking (“if you wait too long to have a baby, it’ll have chromosome problems”), and introduce you to any Tom, Dick, LaQuida or Harriet just because your single status makes them believe you’ll be alone? Does your fear of it all make you put yourself out there to receive whatever comes your way?

If they hadn’t said you couldn’t do it or be it, and you didn’t buy in to what they said, would you be happier? Further along in your career? Have a different career? Would you be in a different place, at a different point on your life path?

There’ll always be people who will tell you why you can’t do something, why something isn’t a good idea, that something is too dangerous or cost too much, and, if you give these naysayers any energy at all, you’re doomed to defer or deny our dreams and ambitions.

An alternative answer - keep your dreams and ideas to yourself until you know how they will work and what you have to do to make them work, or, at least until you come across others who support and encourage you in your efforts. Surround yourself with enough optimistic, perceptive, and objective thinkers who can buttress the many spoilsports waiting to bring you down to the bottom of the barrel; the problem with getting to the top is getting past the people at the bottom. Never let anyone tell you that you can’t go where your dreams take you.

If you’ve done that at any time in your life, about any thing, go get your dream back.

Sadiqqa © 2007

We are here, charged with the task of completing (one might say creating) ourselves.
-- William Cook

At each new bend on your life’s path, sometimes you have to refine or remake who you are. When you took your first corporate job, the one you’d been preparing yourself for by studying your field, you had to fit your dashiki-wearing Self into a standard navy blue suit and give the “power to the people” to every client that came before you. You had to convince and remind yourself that you weren’t selling out, that you were making a living so that you could support yourself and your family, and contribute to the well-being of your community. You didn’t have to let go of what you valued or become somebody different; you just had to search yourself and stretch yourself so that the acceptance of differences and the responsibility to inclusion could become your new maxims and standard. Now, you’ve progressed up the ladder, gained some genuine friends and favor, and last Christmas, you actually wore your dashiki to the office party.

After your divorce, you had to figure out how to navigate alone through the bills, the kids, and the memories. And while the bills eventually got paid and the kids effortlessly survived the break-up, you’re often stuck with the memories of when the marriage was good and the woulda, coulda, shouldas that’ll never be. But on the other side of it, you’ve found the opportunity to try new things; to revisit and capture again the person you were before you married or the one you were during those first few years of marriage; and to create happiness for your Self and make choices that affirm and sustain the happiness you’ve found. Even better, you have the opportunity to create a whole new batch of exciting memories about anything in the world you’d like. Sometimes the old stuff makes you take a long look at yourself so that you can continue your path toward satisfaction and completion.

And perhaps your path has been littered with trash, debris, dead bodies, and self-defeating behavior and thinking, and for a long time, you’ve made it a habit to just step over and around all that garbage and allow it to cover the path you’re walking. But what about clearing it up instead, piece by dirty piece? What about examining each thought, behavior, person, and thing to determine its use and worth and discarding that which no longer works, killing its hold on your life, then looking at your Self and your path without the debilitating stuff there to interfere or block your tasks of self-definition, self-improvement, and evolvement?

Or, what about excavating a new road that totally disregards the path you were on, scraping it completely to make room for new life that will lead to the opportunities and victories promised?

Be clear about who you are and where you are; you may have to repeatedly remind your Self of these things whether that means starting from where you and working with what you’ve got, or creating a new Self and station that encompass the before, now, and tomorrow to come. Whatever you’re doing throughout your lifetime, you’re always doing it, the recreating is always happening, and wherever you are today may look, be, and feel different from next year when you evaluate and move toward self-completion.

Sadiqqa © 2007

If there is a day you have eaten until you were full; if there is a time of joy you can recall; if you have escaped even once the clutches of death; if you can remember one or all of the above, then you have something to be grateful for.
-- Author Unknown

You woke up this morning, placed your feet on the floor, and walked. The air in your home was cool and comfortable and there was water coming from your faucets. Your put on clean clothes, a little snug here and there, but you marveled that you have enough meat on you to cover your bones.

You ate a small breakfast and drank a cup of your favorite beverage before locking the door and getting in your car. You needed a little gas and found a few dollars in the glove compartment to cover that cost. You drove in to work, took your place at your desk, took on the tasks of your in-box and to-do lists, and dug in for another day of work. It all felt very predictable and customary, but at least you’re felt you were contributing something. (Whether this something is what you wanted to contribute is a muse for another day.)

You did a little banking on your break, praying you’d beat the house payment to the bank (this too shall pass, you supposed; it always does). You had a little change in your pocket for lunch and ate something very tasty and filling. You talked with friends and co-workers, had multiple afternoon meetings, and completed several items on your lists. You wrapped up your work, got back in your car, pressed play on the CD playing in your car’s player, and drove home.

At home, you relaxed in your favorite chair, listened to and laughed with your family and/or friends as they talked about their day, ate a nutritious dinner, then prepared for another day. As you climbed into bed, you reflected on how pleasant and easy your day was and you thank God for making it so. You know that everyday isn’t so easy, but today, this day, which is the only one you have at this moment, was nice and you’re grateful to be alive to have experienced it. Tomorrow may be a different kind of day but you’ll take it as it comes and thank God for its storms and victories. You wrap yourself inside your warm covers and kiss the day farewell.

Sadiqqa © 2007

We have no simple problems or easy decisions after kindergarten.
-- John W. Turk

The days of Kindergarten, so far behind us, were fun days. For some of us, Kindergarten was a three–hour or half-day experience; for others of us, Kindergarten lasted 6 full hours and was chocked full of everything you ever needed to know about being a human being. And then, there may be some of us who did not have a formal setting to introduce us to the wide world of social interaction and academics; 1st grade was the beginning. These days, a full day of Kindergarten is compulsory and begins the long road toward helping people become successful and contributing citizens.

Kindergarten is one of the first places children learn to communicate, play, and interact with others appropriately, and its focus is on the development of the whole child. Children learn the alphabet and numbers in the context of their everyday experiences; they explore the natural world of plants, animals, and communities locally and worldwide. They learn and play in water and sand tables, building block and puzzle centers, computer and technology centers, home living and dress-up areas, reading and math manipulative centers, and drawing tables. The classroom is decorated with the kid’s artwork and writing; they play outside every day, interact with their friends and other children on a daily basis, listen to great stories, get a snack, and, in some cases, take a nap after lunch. Kindergarten students get lots of hugs, and their teachers encourage the growth of their self-esteem, cultural identities, and their independence and individual strengths. Kindergarten is the place where a kid grows physically, emotionally, and intellectually. Children are happy and parents feel safe sending their kids to kindergarten.

What a great experience!

After that, if you didn’t learn it or get it in Kindergarten, you’re pretty much handicapped as you progress through the rest of your life. It doesn’t get any easier and it’s hard to catch up.

That’s saying a lot about Kindergarten, huh? But think about it. Kindergarten was where you learned and practiced most of your manners. You learned to say and said “thank you” to a compliment or gesture, whether it was sincere or not. You practiced the basics about being a good friend and a good person, asking instead of just taking, taking turns, sharing and respecting what belonged to others. You learned to take care of your own things (pencils, clothing, papers, and books) and you kept the rules for you were afraid of the consequences of breaking them. In Kindergarten, you were brutally honest, had lots of energy, and had a pure and patriotic heart.

Moreover, mastering alphabet sounds (or phonics) and vocabulary (or spelling words) helped you learn how to read fluently and with comprehension so that you could ultimately read your college textbooks, technical journals, job description, and contents of your inbox. You learned to recognize and value pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters so that you could later save them and put them to good use. You learned to map so you wouldn’t get lost and identify the jobs people do so you could begin to think about how you wanted to spend your working life. You learned the difference between basic needs (food, clothing, and shelter) and wants (luxuries); the importance of conserving water and energy; and to conduct basic experiments and ask questions about what you observed. And you learned how to be away from your mama without anxiety. Learning these foundational skills in Kindergarten, the basic stuff you build on, makes life a little easier to navigate.

Yeah, we all learned and progressed at different rates, and some of us even struggled with learning disabilities and other deficiencies while in school (and even now). But Kindergarten was the start and, again, what you didn’t get there was harder to come by and master later.

Now, granted, life does get messy, and it has a way of blocking out some of the things you learned in Kindergarten. It’s hard to remember the basic social skills of listening and waiting patiently for your turn to talk when your partner is accusing you of wrongdoing and thinking or your boss is in your face once again. We forget about accepting and valuing differences when we watch or experience cultural, religious, gender, economic, age, and sexual orientation clashes. Sometimes our skills of self-control go out the window when we are tempted by and act upon our desires; and we forget that other people have feelings as we tell them where to go and where to put it after they do something we believe is stupid, inappropriate, or against us. Life gets tough and we forget where we started.

The lessons we learned in Kindergarten or preschool may seem very basic. But isn’t it the basic stuff that keeps you functioning and in tuned with the world? Perhaps revisiting the simple life of Kindergarten would make our lives better off. Certainly it can’t hurt to go back.

Sadiqqa © 2007