For months I’ve been screaming about order

For months I’ve been screaming about order – where is it, who took it, and what can I do to get it back? I know I’ve had it because, once upon a time, I could think clearly, breathe freer, and walk through a room without stepping on a thingamajig randomly left here or a thingamabob haphazardly placed there.

I’ve been looking for order in my home, trying desperately to pare down what my baby and I have lived with for far too long. The stuff in my home – the clothes I’ve held onto hoping to wear again; the books I’ve read still on the bookshelves waiting for another reader to discover; the knick-knacks we’ve collected now collecting dust; and let’s not mention the random papers that come in and out of the house everyday – not only weighs my house down, but it weighs us down too. But, after a few moved bookcases, a shredding binge, and several trips – sometimes daily – to the recycling bin and donation sites, I found that the need to order is much bigger than cleaning and clearing my house.

Psychologists – or anybody with good sense for that matter – will tell you the stuff around you is an indication of the stuff inside you; if it’s messy outside, you’ve got to be a wreck inside. Many other mental health professionals would argue that chronic disorder is a sign of ADHD or depression, that behind such disorganization hide grave feelings of inadequacy and fears we’ve yet to address and conquer, and merely “straightening up” is simple window covering. There are many of us who gather stuff in order to keep the world from really seeing who we are or who we’re not, and there’re many others who live on top of the stuff because doing otherwise would upset our who applecart. So as I look around my house, even as close as the desk from which I type, I have to ask myself some serious questions about what’s really going on deep inside.

Excuse me while I attempt to organize some papers...

I’m not ADHD or clinically depressed, and I have very few feelings of lack. I’ve got some fears, but, like most people’s, those fears are manageable. But I am convinced that order is not about the stacks and piles of paper or unworn clothing hiding out in the closet. I believe it’s about being aligned mind, body, and soul.

So how do you get all of you aligned accordingly? How do you get your emotions, physical health and appearance, and your spiritual life in sync?

Of course you first have to realize that each realm is dependant upon the others, and that when one is out of whack, the other two will certainly suffer the same fate, and vice versa. And then you must realize that the process of becoming aligned is an on-going, life-long practice. One year you may be lined up very well and have all of your Self in great operating order. But the next year, you live so disharmoniously with yourself you hardly recognize the person in the mirror. Keeping your whole self in order is like the ebb and flow of the ocean or like going to the chiropractor – one time won’t keep you straight, you have to keep going back. You have to keep paying attention. You have to be intentional. You have to give yourself room to be human and a work in progress. You can’t beat yourself up because everything is in disarray and you don’t seem to have the sense God gave you to get it all lined up and in order.

Unless disorder drives you absolutely crazy in the first place, in which case means you don’t have this problem and this post is just confirmation of everything you’ve always said about those of us who can’t keep it together. Bless your heart. You should teach some classes.

Wherever order went, I invite it and the peace it brings back. I’m anxious to see what it looks like. Until then, let me get back to those papers.