Love letters make love stay visible. You can rub it, smell it, touch it, share it, and sleep with it under your pillow. Write a love letter on a bed sheet with magic markers; sleep under it. Write a love letter on the sidewalk with purple chalk really big. Write a love letter in the sand and leave it to wash away. Write a love letter to yourself, listing all of your finest qualities. Rave about you then mail it to your house. Write a love letter on a cotton scarf with India ink; give it to someone. Design your own stationary and use it. Make a love letter box and keep romance in it.
-- Sark

Dearest,
If a tree is me and an eagle is you, then, can we say we are a part of nature? If I love you very hard, so hard that you can feel me needing you from a thousand miles away, can we say our bond knows no distance? If I sing you a song, a song with blushing sentiment, or, if I write you a poem filled with all the adoration I can compose, surely we can say the language is intimately ours.

If all that I enjoy of life -- the sun shining on the ocean, the innocence of animals, the newness of Spring, the excitement of falling in love -- and all that I wish for -- happiness, affection, purpose, and certainty -- is magnified in you, I know that I can say God is listening to my appeals.

If we dwell in our own world, a world that no one and no thing can penetrate, and if we call this world our private and trusting space and bring to it only what is real, strong, and absolute, and if, as that world revolves around us, it sustains our mental and physical capacity, allowing us to create, advance, and improve for the good of one another, can we say that our world is all we need?

If I dream of you distinctly and consistently, longing to touch you, longing to feel your warmth and response to each stroke of my hand on your handsome and sensual frame, and if I whisper your name throughout our love-making, tell you that I love you, hold you very tightly and make you promises at the height of my pleasure, certainly we can say our arousal and emotions are parallel. And if I share with you everything that is deep within me, each habit and secret, each pain and worry, each mood and indifference, and if I bring to you all of my enthusiasm and zest for living,
and the undying optimism for the lives around me, can we say that all of me is
exposed and in your hands, trembling for a balance?

If we become the best of friends, the most sensitive lovers, and if everything in our
individual lives falls properly and in our favor, can we say we have defined completely the meaning of love? If all that I feel for you can be embraced in one word, can I say forever?

Sincerely .......

Sadiqqa © 1994

It is not our responsibility to prove to people who we are. Our job and responsibility is to “be.”
-- Iyanla Vanzant

Most of the hours of our day are spent trying to convince someone of our value. We’re forever on our toes, always looking over our shoulder, and constantly breaking our backs just to prove we are irreplaceable and indispensable. And what do we have to show for it? Headaches.

Today, stop spending so much of your time trying to show folks that you are valuable, that you have a contribution, and that you are worthy to be heard. Instead spend your time breathing, smiling, laughing, eating, sleeping, and slowing down. Complete your work with consciousness, not competition; live with and love your family and friends with honesty, not confrontation; and move about the world with gentleness and consideration, not force or gruffness. Exhibit excellence in your work and style by simply being and doing the best you know how. Not better than, not greater than, but with the most confidence and precision you can muster. If you can spend your time focused on these things, if you can rise above trying to bear out your significance, you can eliminate unnecessary aches and pains.

After all, when it’s all said and done, people will think what they want, whether you do anything or not. Spend your time just being. Your truth will surface and say all that needs to be said.

Sadiqqa © 2008

My task as a believer is not to inspire those who come out to hear me to believe, but to help open up a space in each of them so that belief, if it ever comes, may have someplace to take root and grow.
-- Renita J. Weems, “Listening for God”

We want to make a difference in the lives of those around us. We teach and instruct, train and model, and do our very best to shape and mold. We give our all hoping that those we touch will go out and do a good thing in, to, and for the world.

But sometimes doing what we do, putting in the long hours of making sure others have all the tools for successful living, is only about preparing the soil for the seed to be planted. Sometimes our task is only about pointing someone in the right direction and showing them which way to go so that they can begin to lay tiles to step forward on.

It may take years for the seeds to be planted, take root, and yield any fruit for the bearer to enjoy and benefit from. It may take a lifetime for tiles to be laid then traveled in a satisfying direction. The important thing is that you helped to start the process by tilling the ground in which the toiling could be done.

And sometimes that’s all you’re supposed to do.

Sadiqqa © 2008

You’ve got ideas. Get involved.
-- Anonymous

Here it is, your opportunity to get involved. This is your chance to put into practice the ideas and suggestions you’ve imagined, written down, and talked about. This is the time help, create, advance, and improve that which you’ve been worried about, complaining about, and demanding. This, right here today, is your chance.

It’s your chance to vote for the candidate that most inspires you and/or the issues that most affect you, to make your voice heard and your presence known. This is your opening to be a politically active member of a democratic society. If you’re not a registered voter, this is the time to become one. If you’re really committed to affecting the political process, casting your vote when it’s time will prove that deed. Right now is your chance.

If you’ve complained long enough about the kids aimlessly walking and playing in the street, now’s your chance to provide some answers to those pointless strolls and messing around. Now’s your chance to create options and opportunities for the kids, be they simple ideas like organizing a league of kickball players, or more complex ones like training them to be competent members and captains of the neighborhood watch organization. Don’t have a neighborhood watch? Now’s the time for you, and the meandering kids, to start one.

If you’ve lamented time and time again that your neighborhood is going to pot, this is the moment for you to move to turn it around. This is the time for you to organize like-minded neighbors and take a walk through your neighborhood, arming yourselves with garbage bags for collecting random trash on the streets, flowers seeds and bulbs for planting, smiles and encouraging words for greeting skeptical neighbors, and fortitude that exudes, as Sojourner Truth believed, what was once upside down can be turned right side up again. Now is that time.

If you’ve droned on and on about how the kids, their families, and our communities are falling behind, this is your opportunity to step up to bring them up. Wherever your strengths lie, whatever your passions are, right now is the time for you to show up and dig your feet, hands, and heart in. Whether it’s children in schools who need a reading or math buddy; a family that needs help managing their money or home; or a community that needs a breath of empowerment, you are the person to provide any or all of that. Now is the time to get involved.

If you have an idea about how to make the thing better, for goodness sake, don’t just tell somebody about it – you do it. If you want to affect change, get involved, be engaged, and work to change it, whatever it is. You make the change you want to see happen. You’ve got ideas and plans, you be the one to exact them. It’s your turn, your time, and your responsibility to get involved.
Sadiqqa © 2008

In order to achieve the harmonious sound of a concerted love ballad, we must take time to understand the diversity of instrumentation. Simply said, men are far different from women, and we need to understand those differences. She is a harp to be gently stroked, and she responds to the skillful hands of a careful minstrel. He is a bugle, brassy and shiny, producing a strong sound of alarm. The music that comes from one is far different from the music that comes from the other. They must be orchestrated. We want to maintain our uniqueness but blend together as a team for lifelong bliss and love.
-- T. D. Jakes

Ah the music of a loving relationship. The melody of two loving one another can be the sweetest song ever made or heard. It surpasses the clear, chipper tune of Springtime cardinal. It outshines the sweet, romantic melodies of Mendelssohn’s sonatas and Chopin’s Nocturnes. The sound of love between two is more beautiful than an angel’s breathe whispering sweet arias in your ear.

It’s beautiful, that is, if you remember that the body of work each person brings to the relationship is tonally different and in need of careful, sensitive, and patient tuning that can create harmony worthy of masterpiece status.

Each of us carries the tunes of past experiences, dreams and fantasies, and deep-rooted expectations around in our heads like earworms – songs in our heads that get stuck and just won’t go away. Add those to the differences in our “Venus and Mars” gendered perspectives and behaviors and a melodious relationship, rich with familiar, comforting riffs and uncomplicated, peaceful chords, is sometimes tough to negotiate. Sometimes the body of work partners bring and try to mince into concert is so flat or out of key that nothing is heard but noise and only the skill of an expert conductor can make any sense of the sounds and feelings. Sometimes the best that can be accomplished is a short jingle that is as easily forgotten as your least favorite song.

But turning differences into harmonic notes that produce a delicate and exquisite cantata that lifts both partners, the love they share, and the God who made it all possible, is the greatest symphony ever written. Once middle C is found, the key and time signatures are agreed upon, the tempo is set, and the rests are in place, the philharmonic song of a magnificent relationship can be performed for the world. And what a lovely song that is!
Sadiqqa © 2008

Hunger demolishes ideology.
-- Author Unknown

When you’re hungry, sometimes you’ll eat just about anything in sight. Things you never thought would taste good going down whet your appetite. You forget about food labels that list the ingredients present and nutrients absent. You stop thinking about fully balanced meals of carbs, fruits, vegetables, and protein. You might even shirk your vegan diet and wolf down a pork chop and bologna sandwich on Challah while watching a rodeo on a pig farm when you’re really hungry.

Okay, maybe not. But think about that same sense of hunger in relation to love. When love has been missing from your life, when you’ve been starving for affection, attention, and companionship, needing someone to hold you, hug you, and love you, to confirm you are alive and indeed lovable, you find yourself reaching out and grabbing anything breathing despite how wrong or dissatisfying you know it may be. It may come at you with a prefixed label that says “beware,” “bad news,” or “stay away;” it may be connected with something unseemly and unhealthy; it may even be attached legally to someone else. But when hunger for love – deep and gut-wrenching hunger – screams so loudly it drowns out any reservations your good sense may have, you settle for whatever just to feel love.

But just as eating the wrong foods will still leave you empty of vital nourishment, so will the wrong person in the space of your life yet leave you starving for love that’s rich, real, filling, and gratifying. Hunger of any kind should be treated delicately and deliberately with only that which provides ample sustenance and respects your values and practices.

No matter how great the need, never give up what you believe or compromise your Self just to fulfill that need, no matter how essential, biological, or desirable. Hold out for nourishment as nothing is more filling than satisfying that need AND hanging on to your integrity. Besides, anything less will leave you still wanting.

Sadiqqa © 2008

The individual who can do something that the world wants done will, in the end, make his way regardless of his race.
-- Booker T. Washington

It matters not the color of one’s skin if a person can unify people and have them view the world, its issues, and their lives from the same lens.

It matters not where one’s people come from, who their mama is or where their daddy was born if the person can help people find and keep stable, high-paying jobs that allow them to pay for their basic needs, take care of their families, and believe again – or for the first time – in the legendary American dream.

It does not matter whether a person’s facial features show traces of Africa if they can sensitively and astutely talk about the crises in Africa, the abhorrent international rule-breaking in China, the centuries-old Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and the domestic unrest in the United States, all over dinner and diplomatic dialogue.

Does it weigh more that a person’s Blackness is tolerable and not “loud and oppressive,” who is “articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy” or that the person can bring home alive our sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers from Iraq immediately and strategically?

If a person can provide sincere humanitarian efforts to repair the damage committed upon a country’s people and ask questions and offer alternatives before “smok’n ‘em out,” does it make a difference whether one’s family is or is not a descendent of slavery?

If a person has a written blueprint that can help struggling homeowners avoid foreclosures; expand the Family and Medical Leave Act to accommodate the sandwich generation – boomers who are caring for their parents – and parents who want to participate in their children’s academic activities; support teachers and school systems instead of punishing them; lower prescription drug costs and allow Americans to buy their medicines from other developed countries if those drugs are safe and more affordable; and speak honestly and out loud about our country’s arrogant nature, who will temper such haughtiness with tact and an extended hand, isn’t color trumped?

Sadiqqa © 2008

In whatever sense this is a New Year for you, may the moment find you eager and unafraid, ready to take it by the hand with joy and with gratitude.
‑‑ Howard Thurman

Almost a week into the new year and your resolutions still wear their bright and optimistic sparkle. Oh the things we’ve set out to do or do differently this year, a Leap Year nonetheless! Some of us will shoot for the customary goal of shedding unwanted pounds; others of us will strive to save more and spend less; and still others of us will attempt to rid ourselves of those terrible habits and tendencies we’ve involuntarily adopted. While all noble and reasonable proposals, and certainly with a chunk of disciple achievable, the bigger consideration is the posture with which you will undertake the commitments you’ve set.

Yes, a resolution is a commitment, a commitment you make to yourself. And in order to remain true to those promises and not renege on your efforts at self-improvement, the attitude and manner in which you fulfill those resolutions, the spirit and temperament by which you go about making the changes you’ve slated, all have a bearing on whether you meet and exceed your goals or get burned out before Fat Tuesday and the Lenten season of fasting, moderation, and discipline begin a month from now.

Honestly, it is pure drudgery to start going to the gym or pushing back from the table when you haven’t done either since who knows when. And it’s very hard to save money when you hardly make any in the first place and need every dime to simply make it to the next payday. And the way you bite at the inside of your cheek and pick at the rough, calloused skin on your feet most of the time seems comforting, or at the very least, non-obstructive – until you draw blood. But if you want change, the kind of change that you can directly affect, you have no choice but to do that which you’ve charged yourself with. And t’ git ‘er done, you must do so with all the grit, gusto, and chutzpah you can possibly manage!

Imagine not only how your body will look after you’ve exercised away the ham from your thighs, the chitterlings from your chin, and sweet potato pies off your butt, think about how your body will feel! No more sluggish arteries or bowels; no more racing heart just because you walked to the other side of the room; no more aching joints because of the excess crowded fatty tissue that suffocates and retards their movements.

And imagine that you’ve managed to scare up a respectable savings even after paying your bills and maintaining your home life, enough to invest and grow or give away to someone or something else that needs a little help. Imagine your mouth now kissable and your feet now presentable for the general public. Imagine them no longer aching because of the brittleness you unconsciously placed up on them when you bit and picked.

All this and more is possible if you just grab the reins and go where you said you would with enthusiasm, anticipation, and determination. A bit of passion about the thing and a whole lot of love for yourself wouldn’t hurt either! Whether you have to fake it until you make it, anything is possible when you give it all you got. And this year, you’ve got 366 days in which to do it!

Peace and blessings!
Sadiqqa © 2008